My Word_Interior.indd

by Gizelle Bryant

  car. But he didn’t open the door for me. He leaned against his eleven-year-old Nissan Sentra and I did the same, knowing

  that move meant he wanted to talk. We didn’t have much

  time—a minute or so and then, the people would be pouring

  from the church.

  Finally Jeremy said, “I’ve been feeling this calling. A tug,

  if you will. It’s like God has been saying to me ‘get ready’.”

  “Get ready for what?”

  He didn’t look at me as he shook his head. “I don’t know.

  That’s why I hadn’t said anything about it to you. But I’ve been hearing that over and over.” He pushed himself from the car,

  turned and looked straight into my eyes. “But now, I think

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  He meant get ready for this. I think He meant for me to get

  ready to take Reverend Robinson’s place.”

  My mouth opened wide. “Jeremy, how can you do that

  when you’re only twenty-one, still in school, and you’re not

  even next in line. Reverend Lewis is the assistant pastor, you’re the youth pastor.” I felt like he needed al of those reminders.

  “Well, we’re about to graduate, so I won’t be in school any

  longer and Reverend Lewis doesn’t want to lead this church.”

  “How do you know that?”

  “Because in the ministers meetings, he’s always talking

  about going back to Los Angeles. He doesn’t like the South.”

  “Okay, but what about graduate school?” I asked as

  another reminder. “You’ve always said you wanted your

  Masters of Divinity since your Bachelors is going to be in

  Mass Communications. You’ve even talked about getting your

  Doctorate, remember?” I asked because he was acting like he’d

  knocked every practical thought from his mind.

  He shook his head. “There are plenty of pastors in this

  country who don’t have degrees. At least I will have one.”

  “But you’ve already been accepted to Howard and Duke.”

  Now, he shrugged as if my words didn’t matter. “And all

  of that, those are my plans, but God’s plans are greater.”

  There was no way for me to debate God, so I brought

  it back down to man. “Do you really think the board would

  consider you for this?”

  That question seemed to bring him back to earth. He

  sighed, then leaned back on the car. “I know.”

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  I breathed, glad that he agreed.

  Then, he said, “But I can do this.”

  I wanted to say more, but he opened the car door, a signal

  that this part of the conversation was over. I slid inside, and as I watched him walk around the front of his car, I recognized

  the look in his eyes. It was the determination that he had

  when an idea was baking inside of him. Or when he was ready

  to take that cake out the oven and present it to the world.

  By the time, Jeremy jumped into the driver’s seat, I knew

  my friend wouldn’t rest until he was appointed the new pastor

  of Pilgrim’s Rest Missionary Baptist Church.

  Chapter Two

  It was just a kiss. But it was a kiss that had reached to my

  soul and discombobulated my entire being. I closed my

  Marketing in the New Digital Age textbook, glanced around the library and sighed. A check of the clock on the wall

  showed that I’d been at this for about an hour. An hour and

  I hadn’t read one full page when this textbook was one from

  my favorite class.

  It was because of that kiss.

  With another sigh, I rested my elbow on the table, cupped

  my chin and remembered last night....

  “I can take you back to your dorm,” Jeremy said.

  His tone held all of his emotions: anxiety, confusion, sadness...

  and a bit of elation. I knew there was more that Jeremy had to work out, so I said, “If you still want to talk, I still want to listen.”

  He reached across the car and squeezed my hand. Then with a nod, he pushed the gear into drive and pulled the car away from the Riverwalk’s parking lot. We’d just taken a Sunday stroll on the 18

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  Riverwalk, a very touristy thing to do in New Orleans, but after brunch at Willa Jean’s, our once-a-month splurge, I knew Jeremy still needed to work out all that was in his head from the service this morning. So I suggested this little walk and talk and that was exactly what Jeremy had done for a couple of hours. It still wasn’t enough, but it didn’t matter to me. I was here for it and if he needed a few more hours, I’d do that, too.

  When we stepped into his small two-bedroom apartment,

  Jeremy did what he always did: he motioned for me to sit on the futon, turned on his CD player, then grabbed two diet Cokes from his fridge. With Keyshia Cole, Jazmine Sullivan and Mary J

  crooning in the background, it could have been a romantic setting for two college kids.

  But for me and Jeremy, this was our norm, so I kicked off

  my shoes, tucked my feet under my butt, and listened as Jeremy continued sorting out his thoughts.

  “I know I’m young, but I feel this pull.”

  “I know I need to at least get my Masters, but I feel this pull.”

  “I know the board may not see me as a leader yet, but I feel this pull.”

  All I did was nod and listen, letting him get it all out. My goal was to leave him tonight feeling calmer, but hoping that he would realize this was crazy. Even though I felt this was the craziest idea in the history of crazy ideas, I wasn’t going to tell him that. He’d have to arrive at that conclusion himself.

  He said, “There’s never been a time in my life when God’s voice has been clearer to me.”

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  That worried me a bit because I knew Jeremy heard God, just like I did. But stil , I played my role—the friend with the listening ear that he’d given to me so many times.

  The sun had long set, the apartment was dark except for the dim light from an outside street lamp, Keyshia, Jazmine and Mary J. had sang more than a couple of times on repeat, and I’d had about five diet cokes before Jeremy took my hands into his.

  “You have been so wonderful today, Ginger.”

  “What did I do?”

  “This.” He waved his hand in the air. “You listened to me all day, just let me go on and on, repeating the same things.”

  “This is what we do. Isn’t that what friends are for? You just needed to talk it out.”

  “I did. I haven’t come to any conclusions about what I’m

  going to do about Pilgrim’s Rest, but....” He paused. “I’ve decided something else.”

  I tilted my head. I didn’t know there had been anything else on his mind.

  He said, “I want this all the time.” He stopped and twisted.

  Even through the darkness, I could see him searching in my eyes.

  My heart thumped because I knew where this was heading.

  But to give myself a couple of more seconds, I asked, “What do you mean?”

  “I want this, I want us. We have such chemistry, Ginger and I don’t know what we’re waiting for. I don’t know who we think we’re fooling. I really want to see where this goes with you because I’m thinking we are already more than friends....”

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  I wanted to hold up my hand as a stop signal. I wanted to tell him, ‘No, let’s not mess up this perfect friendship; plus you want to be a pastor!’ But then, he edged toward me. It was three seconds that felt like three lifetimes before his lips touched mine. As Mary J

  sang one of my favorite songs, we kissed. And every laden emotion that I’d pressed down w
ithin me, began to ascend from my toes through my center and settled right there on my heart.

  When Mary J sang, “Too hard to fake it...” I knew what

  Jeremy and I had was real. Like the boo Mary J sang about, I didn’t want to be without Jeremy. I wanted to stay in this place with our lips connected forever....

  But forever lasted just a couple of seconds because Jeremy’s

  roommate, Aaron, busted into the apartment, talking about

  it was too dark in there and turning on the bright overhead

  lights. By the time he realized Jeremy and I were there

  together, we were on opposite ends of the futon.

  When Aaron had asked, “What’s up with y’all,” I’d looked

  at Jeremy, he looked at me, and then both of us cracked up.

  Not sure why, but we had a fit of giggles that wouldn’t stop. It didn’t bother Aaron; he grabbed a coke and sat in the living

  room with us until Jeremy got a call from Reverend Lewis.

  Of course, he’d wanted to take the call. Of course, he wanted

  to know if there was news.

  “What’s got you smiling like that?”

  I had to blink a few times to bring myself back from

  yesterday.

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  “You’re grinning like you just won the lottery,” my best girl

  friend, Dru said as she slid into the chair across the table. Her smile was bright, exactly like it was the first day I’d met her when I’d stepped onto Xavier’s campus and found out that she

  was my roommate. She’d told me that in high school, friends

  had called her Sunshine and I got it. Because everything

  about her shined like the sun—from her thousand-watt smile

  to her sun-kissed complexion, which was almost exactly the

  color of her hair.

  People often said we were twins, which always made us

  laugh out loud. Yeah, our complexions and our hair coloring

  were close, but that height thing—Dru had to stand on her

  tiptoes to measure five feet and I could reach for items on the top shelf of any cabinet.

  “So, did we win the lotto or what?” she asked when I

  didn’t respond.

  I wanted to tell Dru that I kinda felt like I had won. I

  wanted to jump up and dance, but all I did was grab my books,

  stuff them into my bag and say, “Come on. I got something

  to tell you.”

  “Ooooh...you don’t have to tell me twice.” She popped

  out of her chair and then both of us speed-walked out of the

  library.

  d

  “ So hold up,” Dru said. “Are you telling me you’re gonna be a First Lady?” Before I could respond, she dumped her

  My Word | 23

  backpack onto the ground and danced, doing some kind of

  shoulder-shimming two-step in a circle around me. “You’re

  gonna be a First Lady. You’re gonna be a First Lady.”

  I stopped moving because she was making me dizzy.

  “Really? So what? Are we in fifth grade now?”

  She laughed as she grabbed her bag from the grass and

  we continued our stroll across campus to our dorm. “I’m just

  saying.” But then as if she had a serious thought, her laughter stopped. “Wait. How are we gonna go to a Kappa party when

  you’re a First Lady?” She frowned as if she was asking me a

  serious question. Then, she shrugged. “Guess I’ll just have to find someone else to roll with.”

  I shook my head. “And guess I’ll have to find a new best

  friend who won’t toss me away so easily.”

  “I’m not tossing you away, I just got questions. Like can

  First Ladies strut?” she asked. “Because how you gonna be an

  AKA and not strut?”

  “Are you serious right now?” Before she answered, I

  continued, “Let me break this down for you. First of all, I’m

  not interested in being a First Lady since I grew up as a First Daughter. That was enough firsts for me. And besides, I don’t

  know what’s happening with me and Jeremy.”

  “You don’t know?” She turned toward me and walked

  backwards. “Who’s acting like they’re in fifth grade now? Let

  me break this down for you. You and Jeremy finally kissed.

  Jeremy told you he wants to take your friendship further. And

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  I say, ‘Hallelujah, it’s about time.’ You two have been playing footsies....”

  “We haven’t been playing anything.”

  “For too long now,” she continued as if I hadn’t spoken.

  “You started with the kiss last night, you might as well let him hit it tonight, then tomorrow, it’ll be all official,” she said as if she’d just solved all the problems of the world.

  “I’ve already told you, I don’t want to be married to a

  pastor.”

  “Well first of all, he didn’t ask you to marry him, he just

  kissed you.”

  “If you weren’t my best friend, I’d punch you in the eye

  right now.”

  “And second of all, Jeremy Williams is a tall mug of hot

  chocolate, so whatever hang-ups you have about the church....”

  “I’m not hung up about the church.”

  “You need to get over it,” she continued. “Look, if he

  wants you on his arm as he becomes the youngest pastor in

  New Orleans, you need to hop on that gravy train. He’s fine

  and he’s gonna be rich? What’s there to think about?”

  I sighed, but it was only to keep my emotions inside. As

  much as I hated to admit it, I was excited about the prospect

  of where our relationship could go from here; but there was

  so much to think about. First, I didn’t want to stay in New

  Orleans. I had my life mapped out. After graduation in a few

  weeks, I would start working at Walker-Hughes, one of the

  largest consumer marketing firms in the country where I’d

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  interned with over the past two summers in DC. I was going

  to work with them for exactly five years before I started my

  own marketing company. My company was going to be ahead

  of the curve with this growing digital marketing industry and

  by 2015, I planned to have offices in the top five markets. For all of this to happen, I’d have to be in a big city on the East or West coast.

  So my plans didn’t line up with this new desire of Jeremy’s.

  Plus there was the fact that yes, we’d kissed, but I wasn’t sure what it meant. Jeremy and I hadn’t had a chance to discuss

  anything at all. Once he got the call from Reverend Lewis, I

  didn’t want to interrupt him in any way, so Aaron brought me

  back to campus and I hadn’t spoken to Jeremy since.

  “I’ve been telling you from the day you met him in

  Charlotte that he was going to be more than a friend.”

  “You did say that, but Dru, I don’t know.” I kicked a rock

  on the grass, needing to release all of this energy inside of

  me. “I have my plans and then, I’ve never wanted to be a First Lady. I guess that’s why I’ve been fighting my feelings for him for so long.”

  “Wait. Stop. Are we having an honest introspective

  moment here?”

  I shrugged and Dru said, “First, I’m sure there will be a

  way to line up your plans with his, so that won’t be an issue.

  But that other issue you have, you’ve got to let go of your

  hang-ups about First Ladies. What does Jeremy say about it?”

  “We
’ve never talked about it because we’ve never talked

  about being anything more than friends.”

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  She shook her head. “You always say that, but I’m telling

  you, I have a hard time believing it.”

  “Well remember, I was kinda seeing Kenny and he was

  seeing Daphne when we met. And neither one of us is a hoe.”

  “And you broke up with Kenny and he broke up with

  Daphne a year ago. So now you can be hoes together.”

  “That is not even funny,” I said, even though I chuckled.

  “But by the time everyone was out of the way, Jeremy and I

  were in such a comfortable friendship space and I didn’t want

  to mess that up. He’s the best friend I’ve ever had.”

  Dru raised her eyebrows. “Present company excluded, of

  course.”

  “Of course.”

  “But seriously, Ginger, you and Jeremy have all the fixings

  for a great relationship. You started out as friends and that’s what most people miss. When you have that, you’ve taken care

  of half of the relationship battle so don’t let what he chooses as a profession to stop you from having a great love in your

  life. He’s a man first and a pastor second.”

  I paused. “Who are you now? Doctor Phil? Oprah?”

  “Just cal me Doctor Phyl is or Oprenah. Seriously, no

  matter what he decides to do or where you two decide to go,

  the foundation is there. So go to the edge and jump.”

  I wanted to take a moment to think about her words, but

  before I could do that, she hopped in front of me and stopped

  moving. “Now speaking of shaky foundations....”

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  I frowned. “I thought you just said Jeremy and I had a

  good foundation.”

  “I’m not talking about you. I’m talking about Reverend

  Robinson. I can’t believe I missed church yesterday,” she

  whined.

  “Well, that’s what happens when you hang out all night

  Saturday and then Sunday morning rolls around.”

  “Don’t try to change the subject. So what’s the scoop with

  Reverend Robinson? What did Jeremy say?”

  “I told you; he doesn’t know anything. He tried to call

  Reverend Robinson when we were at brunch yesterday, but

  he didn’t answer. I don’t know if he’s spoken to him since last night.”

  “I should have been there,” Dru said as if her presence