Don't Make Plans

by Ava Armstrong

  When he arrived at Gramps’, his hand had developed a tremor he couldn’t control.

  “Hey, Kent. Where’re you going?”

  “Gramps, I gotta tell you something. Sit down.”

  “It’s that bad? I gotta sit down?”

  “Yeah.” His grandfather’s clear blue eyes roamed over Kent’s face slowly, and Kent knew he was trying to figure out what was wrong.

  “You sick or something?”

  “Sort of…”

  “Tell me, Kent. You’d better tell me…”

  “Pain killers…they gave them to me for the past couple of years and I’m hooked. I can’t get a refill. The pharmacist turned me away. I don’t have a doctor here…”

  “Yeah, you do.”

  “I’m not going to the VA.”

  “It’s not the VA. You need to listen to me now, Kent. I know about this. I have a good friend. I almost lost him to drug addiction. He kicked it, but I’ll be honest with you – it wasn’t easy.”

  “You’re talking about some kind of program?”

  “We’ll do our talking in the car on the way. You got your driver’s license on you? That’ll do for a photo I.D. Let’s go now. Jump in that fancy Cadillac. It’s just about an hour from here.”

  Gramps stood and Kent felt his hand on his shoulder.

  “Want me to drive? You look kinda bad.”

  “No. I can drive, Gramps.”

  Kent lumbered toward the Cadillac and tossed his backpack in the rear seat; Gramps got in the front seat and gave him directions. In a few minutes, they were heading north on the highway. Gramps made a phone call to the Harbor House using Kent’s cell phone. And, he made one other phone call. Kent didn’t hear the details.

  Once Gramps was finished with the phone, Kent told his grandfather everything – the IED, rehab, the pain, every ugly fact. Gramps stared out of the passenger side window and Kent could sense he was overwhelmed with sorrow. Finally, the old man turned to him.

  “It’s not your fault, Kent. Just remember that. This happens to a lot of vets. Relentless physical pain is a difficult thing to live with day in and day out. Turn here, then take a left onto Route 9. It’s a nice place, you’ll see.”

  Kent was sweating and shaking.

  “Just a couple more miles. It says Harbor House on the sign. It’s sort of out in the middle of nowhere. Ocean is pretty, here.”

  Gramps directed him to the parking lot in the back, and Kent got out of the vehicle.

  “Okay, let’s go. Need to enter through the front.”

  Gramps seemed to know this place well. Kent walked inside the sizable building and found the check-in room quiet and cool inside. He filled out paperwork and handed the clipboard to the woman behind the desk. She smiled at him.

  “Follow me and I’ll explain the program to you.”

  Kent’s eyes locked with Gramps’ eyes.

  “I’m coming, too.” Gramps whispered. “It’s okay, Kent. You gotta trust me. You do, right?”

  “Yes, of course I trust you, Gramps. I always have.”

  “Then, let me help you with this…mess.”

  “Kent – it’s good to meet you,” the older woman extended her hand to him and he shook it. Here’s how this works. You will surrender yourself to us for thirty days, possibly longer, until we can get you clean.”

  “What do you mean surrender? I don’t like the sound of that.”

  For an hour, the woman explained how Kent’s life, as he knew it, would change. He’d have to sign paperwork allowing medical intervention to get him off the pain killers. When he read the fine print, he realized this was serious. There was no turning back. If he signed, he was there for the duration or there’d be a financial penalty.

  After another thirty minutes of questions and answers, Kent looked at Gramps. The elder man nodded. Just before Kent signed the paperwork, he read the paragraph that explained payment and he noticed Gramps had signed for the VFW.

  “What’s this? The VFW’s paying for this?”

  “Yes. It’s a thing we do – we don’t talk about it much. Your stay here is covered, only if you finish the program. If you don’t complete the program – you’re on the hook for it. You don’t want that.”

  Kent realized he couldn’t afford to fail. He also knew he couldn’t disappoint those at the VFW who were helping him. Gramps and his friends at the VFW had contributed to this fund – they were counting on him to be successful. He could never thank them enough. He signed the paperwork and turned to Gramps.

  “Can I send a text to someone?” The woman nodded and he sent a text to Paige.

  I’m in a rehab facility for a month. I’ve been addicted to pain killers since I got wounded. I will have no means of communication with you except texting you like this when they allow me to do so. I will also contact my grandfather when allowed. I love you, Paige. I’m sorry about this.

  “We will keep your phone and you will get to use it at the beginning of the day for thirty minutes and at the end of the day for thirty minutes.”

  The woman’s eyes moved to Gramps. Kent handed his phone to her and the charging cord, too.

  “It’s okay, Kent.” Gramps put his hand on his shoulder. “You’re doing the right thing, squirt. Just remember that when you’re curled up in a ball, swearing and hating me for bringing you here.”

  The two men embraced for a long moment. Kent watched as Gramps left the room and the woman took him into another section of the building. The last sound he remembered was the click of the lock on the steel door as he walked through it. The windows all had bars and he caught a glimpse of Gramps driving away in the Cadillac, suddenly remembering he didn’t have a driver’s license any more. Oh damn.

  CHAPTER 14

  Paige wondered where Gramps had gone, and for that matter, Kent. The two of them seemed to disappear from the earth, as if abducted by aliens. Justin kept going over to the old farmhouse and peeking in the windows. He’d report back every few hours.

  “No one’s home.”

  “Maybe something happened to Gramps and Kent had to take him somewhere.” Paige was thinking aloud. She was genuinely worried at this point. It was possible that Kent took his grandfather to Rhode Island to visit family. But, it was odd he didn’t say goodbye or mention it.

  It had been Kent’s habit to text her every day, even if it was just a happy face or one or two words. But she hadn’t received a text from him since yesterday. And, Gramps had a worried look on his face the last few times she spoke with him. She wondered what might be going on, but didn’t feel it was her place to ask.

  As if she had willed it, a chime brought her attention to the text that appeared on her phone from Kent. She relaxed a little and called to Justin.

  “He just texted me. They’re fine.”

  “Where are they?”

  Oh no. She couldn’t tell Justin what she’d just read. Kent was in lockdown to kick opiate addiction and this was serious. She had to think of something.

  “Oh, he just said he had to do something important. And, he said not to worry.”

  “What’s he doing, mom?”

  “He said it’s something to do with the marines and he can’t tell me.”

  She lied but there was a little bit of truth in it.

  “Hey, maybe Kent got chosen for a secret mission.”

  “Yeah. Maybe.”

  She thought that sounded good. It was a secret, of sorts. She was stunned, really, by the news. She had no idea he was addicted. She wondered what else there was about Kent she didn’t know.

  “Hey, mom, I have to tell you something. Dad called me.”

  “What? What was that? When? He’s not supposed to…”

  “He said he wants to talk with me and you, together. He sounded sort of different, you know?”

  “Justin, listen to me. You can’t have conversations with him behind my back. There’s a reason for the court order…oh shit, this shouldn’t be happening. He’s so damned manipulative.”

&nb
sp; She had uttered the words and couldn’t take them back. It was the last thing she wanted to say but it was exactly what she was thinking.

  “He said he’s been going to church and stuff like that.”

  Justin was now making a case.

  “I don’t care! He’s lying to you, Justin.”

  Paige slumped down to her knees and pulled her son into her chest.

  “I’m sorry.”

  She tried to stop the tears but couldn’t. Her initial reaction was to contact her attorney, who would contact the police and report the communication from her ex-husband which violated the court order. But she seemed to be frozen with anxiety. Why was Jeremy doing this? One thing she knew about him: he had an ulterior motive for everything he did.

  Instead of calling her attorney or the police, she calmly walked her son into the living room. Justin was showing signs of distress.

  “Mom, I’m sorry – I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

  “Here, honey, you sit and watch TV for a little bit. Mom has to do something.”

  She watched Justin slump into a chair and he turned on Sponge Bob. His eyes looked like slits while he gazed at the TV as if in a trance. It was at that moment Paige realized he had been crying, too. This confirmed her reasoning to make a phone call to the local police department.

  “I need to report something. I want an officer to come to my house right away.”

  Paige found herself stammering and wiping the tears from her eyes as she was connected to the dispatch desk of the police department.

  “I’ve found out my ex-husband, Jeremy Hathaway, has called my son, violating a court order. And, a neighbor mentioned Jeremy has been at my front door when I wasn’t home.”

  “Okay, ma’am. We’ll be there shortly.” The dispatcher sounded busy. “Ten minutes or so.”

  “I’m nervous.”

  “Yes, ma’am. We will get right on it.”

  Paige hung up the phone and ran through the fearful thoughts in her mind. She tried to be rational, like Dr. Westin told her to be. Why did she fear Jeremy so much? She knew if he talked to Justin, he’d do all he could to turn her son against her. She knew what Jeremy was capable of – breaking into the house and beating her until she couldn’t speak. She didn’t want any more confrontations with him. She was done. She told herself to calm down. Nothing was going to happen.

  With a trembling finger, she tapped out Doctor Westin’s phone number. When she finally got through to her therapist, she couldn’t control herself. The tears came and her heart raced. Her words were unintelligible.

  “Paige – calm down. Nothing is going to happen. Have you called your attorney? The police? Jeremy has broken the limitations placed on him with the court order. You have an appointment with me this coming Friday – maybe we should delve into this a little deeper. Honestly, I thought we’d turned the corner.”

  Turned the corner? Really? Paige stared at the phone in her hand. For a second, she wanted to tell Doctor Westin what she was really thinking, but she finally gained her composure and spoke calmly.

  “Yes. I’ll see you on Friday.”

  As she ended the call, there was a knock at the kitchen door. Could it be the police? Her eyes glanced automatically to the pepper spray on the top of the refrigerator and the Smith & Wesson revolver on the shelf above the broom closet. It wasn’t loaded, but she could speed load that thing in the dark.

  Through the gauzy curtain covering the window on the door, Paige could see the tall, broad outline of a man. He knocked again. Sweating, she thought her heart might leap out of her chest. Was this the police officer? She watched him bend down and peer through the curtain. Paige realized the man saw her.

  The moment she opened the door, she knew it was a huge mistake. Oh god, no! It was Jeremy and he had a grin on his face. Her hand instantly reached up and she snatched the canister of pepper spray. He was in the kitchen with one step over the threshold.

  “I’ve already called the police, Jeremy – so, you’d better get out of here – immediately!”

  Face to face now, Paige hadn’t seen him for over a year. His dirty blonde hair was neatly cut and his green eyes clear. He didn’t appear to be drunk or jacked up on drugs. Paige noticed he smelled like aftershave and wasn’t jittery, as if he needed a drink or a smoke.

  “Aw, don’t be like that, Paige…” His voice was much calmer than usual.

  “Don’t be like what?”

  “You know – all bitchy and angry with me.”

  The look on his face said it all. He stared at her with the wonder of a four-year old boy. It was as if Jeremy had forgotten all the violence and heartache he’d caused. She wondered if he had amnesia.

  “Leave, Jeremy – or, you’re going to regret this.”

  “I’ve cleaned myself up – I’ve cleaned my life up. I got hired with a paving company. I miss you, Paige. And, I miss Justin, too.

  In Paige’s peripheral vision she saw her son hiding behind the door in the living room. It was too late to stop what was happening. Justin’s head moved around the corner and when his father’s eyes connected with his, he ran to him.

  “Daddy, daddy, I tried to tell her, but she wouldn’t listen.”

  Jeremy bent down and picked Justin up with his large hands.

  “It’s okay, little man. Mommy is just upset, that’s all. Everything’s okay.”

  Paige glared at Jeremy but he seemed oblivious to her anger. He smiled back at her and tilted his head as if to say, there’s someone here in my arms and we shouldn’t fight in front of him.

  She couldn’t pepper spray him now, not with Justin in his arms. What the hell happened here? Jeremy waltzed in, announced his conversion from a monster into a human being, and he thought she was going to just accept him?

  Thank god, the police officer arrived. He filled the open doorway.

  “Ma’am – you called. Is there a problem?”

  Paige watched helplessly as her son clung to his father.

  “He has a court order against him.”

  “Yes, ma’am. We can remove him now.”

  Jeremy’s eyes met hers and she saw the flash of anger. Justin started crying. Paige took her son into the living room as she knew the officer might have to forcibly remove Jeremy. As the voices in the kitchen got louder, Paige hugged Justin.

  “I’m sorry. I can’t take chances with our safety.”

  The officer was winning the argument, this time.

  Jeremy was placed into another officer’s vehicle, after he was searched and handcuffed. Once the squad car pulled away with her angry ex-husband, the officer stayed for a few minutes on the back porch. When Paige approached, he touched her shoulder reassuringly.

  “You did the right thing, ma’am. He’s a violent domestic offender. He’s done time for it. You have to stand your ground with him.”

  “I thought this was over. The divorce was final a couple of months ago, while he was in prison.”

  The officer listened and Paige had a feeling he’d heard all of this before. As the cruiser drove away, she wondered how long it would be until Jeremy pushed the envelope again. She had no one to talk to, other than Doctor Westin. And, really – Paige was second guessing some of the advice she had given her.

  A few minutes passed and Paige found herself making a pot of tea. She sat at the kitchen table with her son and explained things calmly. She had to be strong for Justin. After she said her piece, an uncomfortable silence hung in the air.

  “He’s never coming back?” Justin asked.

  “He’s being punished for breaking the law.” Paige reiterated.

  “You’re afraid, aren’t you, mom?”

  Justin’s big eyes were riveted on her waiting for an answer. She had to be honest with him right here, right now.

  “Look, it’s like this. He’s got problems. Something’s not right. He’s violent, Justin. He is a dangerous person. People who cannot control themselves and hit other innocent people get locked up for a reason.”
<
br />   Her mind automatically went to Kent, and she couldn’t help comparing Jeremy to him. The two men were so different. Kent was the same, steady guy every day. He had a kind and gentle demeanor. That’s what drew her to him from the very beginning. She knew what to expect from Kent and he made her heart race with excitement. Even though she only had one night to instantly replay in her mind, she knew there was so much more to him than what was on the surface. He was the consummate gentleman, and she loved the way Kent treated her. Respect. If only more men realized what an aphrodisiac that was.

  There was no question she had made the right call with Jeremy. He was still the same person except he appeared sober today. She couldn’t erase the feeling of his fist plowing into her face – then a blow to the abdomen taking the wind out of her – breaking her ribs. It was all too fresh in her mind. Even worse was the ambulance ride rushing her battered son to the emergency room. These were things she could not expunge from her memory, no matter how many lovely words Jeremy mouthed. He was an expert at lying. She wanted him out of her life. And, she knew how painful it would be to extract him from Justin’s life.

  Truth was, she didn’t want to run headlong into something serious with Kent right away, especially now that she knew he was an addict – and he might be pursuing Sasha. This wasn’t just about her life, it was about Justin’s, too. The last thing she needed was another failed relationship at this moment.

  As much as she adored Kent, she wondered if he had lied to her. Had he told her that he didn’t like Sasha because that’s what he thought she wanted to hear? Her friends had painted a different picture. Sasha’s Facebook page did, too. Gramps had said Kent was a clean guy, no drinking or drugs – even he didn’t know – or if he did, he covered for him. All she knew was that Kent was in a residential rehab for a month, possibly longer. No goodbye. No explanation. This was beginning to sound too familiar. Paige remembered Doctor Westin’s warning: be careful not to replace one abusive man for another.

  But there was one thing that set Kent apart from all other men she’d ever met, and that was tenacity. He’d live the rest of his life with half a left leg and a multitude of other injuries she’d probably never know about, but he pushed forward. He was a positive force, a glass half-full kind of guy. She admired that quality about him, even though she wondered if he had been completely honest with her about some things.