Serious Potential

by Maggie Cummings

  “Meg?”

  “Yeah,” Meg breathed out.

  “Thank you. For coming.” Sasha leaned forward and kissed Meg on the lips, slow and soft.

  On a different day, under different circumstances, Meg would have brushed it off, dismissing Sasha’s heartfelt thanks lightly, probably tell her it was no big deal. She might have even made an off-color joke to break the tension over the awkwardness of their situation right now, lying in each other’s arms squished into a twin bed. But she didn’t. The seriousness of the moment got the best of her, and instead, she said exactly what she was feeling.

  “I love you, Sash.”

  Meg looked into Sasha’s eyes and it was enough that she saw reciprocation there, but Sasha said it anyway.

  “I love you too, Meg.” Her voice was somehow sweet and sexy, desperate and passionate all at once.

  They kissed deep and slow until their hands found each other easily, removing what little clothing they had on. Meg didn’t stop to think about the repercussions of their actions or what any of it would mean tomorrow. They were together, and for the moment anyway, it was as if they had never been apart.

  *

  The kettle shrieked, interrupting Lexi’s scattered thoughts as she sat at her parents’ dining room table tapping her lips with a pencil and listening to the wind howl outside the window.

  “You want a cup of tea, honey?” Marnie asked from the kitchen. Lexi looked over and watched her mother reach for two mugs from the cupboard without waiting for an answer.

  “Sure,” Lexi said, tossing her yellow legal pad onto the table with a small thud.

  “Is that work?” Marnie asked, sliding a plate of blueberry scones between their steaming cups on the table.

  “I wish,” Lexi said with a dramatic eyebrow raise. “It’s the seating chart for the wedding.”

  “Ooh, fun.” Marnie pulled one leg under her and leaned forward in her chair. “Can I help?”

  “Sure.” Lexi pushed the pad toward her mother and scooched her chair a little closer as her mother pored over the list and tentative arrangements.

  Marnie sipped her tea, holding the cup with both hands. “Looks good so far, but can’t you put Aunt Theresa with Jesse’s family?”

  “Imagine that?” Lexi laughed, breaking a scone in half and reaching for a napkin with her other hand. “They would not know what to do with themselves.”

  “I love her, but God help me, she does not stop talking.” Marnie shook her head. “Sometimes I can’t believe she and your mother are sisters.”

  They laughed together and talked about other details, mostly stuff they had already gone over—the band, the food, the layout of the Ducanes’ expansive Cape Cod estate where the outdoor reception would be held. Lexi was having fun. This was always how it was supposed to be, and it was how it had been for the last several months, since the holidays, really. Before that time both of her mothers had technically voiced their support, but since Thanksgiving, Lexi had felt the change as something genuine. Marnie and Chris asked about Jesse; they invited her to Sunday dinner. Lexi often wondered what had been the catalyst for their joint mood swing, but she had never asked. Her curiosity finally won out.

  “Hey, Mom?” She clinked the spoon on the side of her mug. “What changed your mind? About me and Jesse?”

  Marnie gave her a curious look as she sipped her tea.

  “It just all seemed to change.” Lexi shrugged, pulling her feet onto the base of the chair under her. “I’m just curious why. Or maybe what made the difference. I mean one day you hated her, and the next, it was like she was already part of the family. Not that I’m complaining. I’ve just kind of been wondering.”

  Marnie nodded her head as she placed her mug on the table meeting Lexi’s eyes. “Honestly,” she said, looking a little guilty, “it was Mary Brown.”

  Lexi tilted her head to the side, confused by her mother’s admission.

  “She pulled me aside one day. Mary.” Marnie fingered the edges of her shoulder-length hair. “She knew I was upset about you and Jesse. God, she saw it on display that night when she and Kam found out you two were engaged. We’ve known each other a long time,” she said with a slight chuckle. “She talked some sense into me.”

  “About me and Jesse?”

  “Yeah.”

  “What did she say?”

  Marnie smiled at her daughter’s obvious shock. “Nothing I didn’t already know.”

  Lexi took a minute to digest her mother’s brief comment. “But—”

  “When Mary talked to me this fall, she pointed out things I already knew. She just…she reminded me how lucky I am to have you.” She met Lexi’s eyes. “Believe it or not, she threw in a good word for Jesse too.” Marnie laughed a little at the memory before she put her hand on top of Lexi’s. “Honey, I know Jesse’s a good person. Despite what happened with her and Mary.” She pursed her lips at the thought and continued. “And truthfully, Lex, it wasn’t anything Mary said that changed my mind about you two. But afterward, our conversation made me realize I might lose you. Lose the closeness we have. I love you, Lex, and I want to be involved in your life.” Marnie twisted her mug between her hands and looked at the tabletop. “When you and Jesse started dating, I was angry. But after a while I got used to it, and I figured, you know, you’re young, you need to have your own experiences.” She licked her lips. “And just as I was starting to come around, you told us you were getting married. It was a shock.” Her eyes widened. “It had very little to do with Jesse at that point.” She met Lexi’s eyes. “Except she’s older than you and I blamed her a little. For stealing your youth, your innocence.”

  “Mom, I’m not a little girl,” Lexi said defensively.

  Marnie’s eyes crinkled with amusement. “I know, honey. I didn’t think she deflowered you,” she added with a smile.

  “Gross, Mom.” Lexi winced.

  “I just have a hard time imagining what it’s like for you to be in such a serious relationship that already has so much drama embedded in it. You deserve, I don’t know, something better. Something easier.”

  “But I love her, Mom. I really do.”

  “I know you do, Lex. I just worry about you.” She reached over and rubbed Lexi’s forearm, a look of deep concern steeped in her crinkled brow. “You are so young. And marriage is hard.”

  “But look at you and Mush. You guys have been together forever, and you still love each other.”

  “We do.” Marnie reflexively touched the thin gold band on her ring finger with her thumb. “We are very lucky.” She twisted her mouth to the side. “Look at the world around you, though. We are the success story.”

  Lexi tucked a long brown curl behind her ear, biting her lip as she met her mother’s eyes. “You already had two kids by the time you were my age, you know.”

  “I know. You’re right.” Marnie nodded. “Honey, I know Jesse loves you and I can’t help but love her because of that. And I’m sure before long you’ll have children of your own. I can’t even tell you how happy that makes me, the idea of being a grandmother.” She shook off chills at the thought. “All I can say is when you have kids of your own, you’ll see, whether they are five or twenty-five, they are your babies. I’m sure you won’t make the same mistakes I did, but maybe someday, when your little girl tells you she’s getting married, maybe you’ll understand that yes, I made a mistake, but I was nervous to lose my little girl.”

  “I love you, Mom.”

  “I love you too, honey.”

  Chris entered the kitchen just in time to see them hugging each other tightly as tears streaked their faces. “What’s going on? Everybody okay?”

  Marnie wiped at her cheeks. “It’s fine. We were just doing the seating chart for the wedding.”

  They laughed at Chris’s fake horrified expression. “It’s my sister, isn’t it?”

  Chapter Twenty-three

  Midmorning, as Meg was packing Jesse’s trunk with Sasha’s boxes, preparing for the journey b
ack to New York, a car slowed in front of the house and Meg saw a familiar face exit. One second before she said hello to Jane-Anne, she realized it was her twin.

  “Sabrina,” Meg said with a wave.

  Sabrina smiled in response. “Hi, Megan,” she added nicely, not seeming at all surprised by Meg’s presence. “I just wanted to say good-bye to Sash.” She motioned toward the house and continued up the walkway with Meg following behind her to grab more stuff for the car.

  Sasha called out from upstairs, “Baby, would you grab the tray of vegetable lasagna out of the fridge? I want to take it with us. It’s in a clear rectangular dish.” She bounded down the stairs to find Sabrina standing there. Sasha was definitely embarrassed, Meg could tell by the color flooding her cheeks, but she played it off. “Hey, Sabrina,” she said, greeting her friend with a hug.

  On their way out of the upper-middle-class suburb where Sasha had grown up, they stopped by her father’s house, where Sasha dropped off four of the five boxes. She introduced Meg to her dad and his wife, stating simply, “Dad, Mel, this is Meg. Meg this is my dad, Andrew, and his wife, Melanie.” Meg found it interesting Sasha didn’t use any qualifier when making the introduction. She didn’t refer to her as her friend or provide any explanation as to why she was here. Meg felt her heart do a little happy dance over the small victory.

  They spent the ride north in a mix of quiet and talking, and when they stopped at the southernmost point in New Jersey to gas up, Sasha darted into the rest stop. Meg stared at her as she walked back to the car, a pink knit scarf wound around her neck, her shoulders hunched as she braced herself against the cold, her long hair blowing like crazy in the wind. She was without a doubt the most beautiful girl Meg had ever seen. Sasha caught her looking and smiled, hurrying over and sliding into the passenger seat. Without a word, she leaned over and kissed Meg, slowly and thoroughly, running her hand into Meg’s short, thick hair as she finished. It got Meg going more than she wanted to admit.

  “God, I missed kissing you,” Sasha said.

  “Yeah?”

  “Yeah,” Sasha breathed out. “I missed everything about you.”

  “What happened with us?” Meg looked right into Sasha’s eyes.

  Sasha laced her fingers through Meg’s but looked down. “I don’t know.”

  “All of a sudden, it was just over. Nothing. We barely even talked about it.” Meg was sure this wasn’t the right time for this conversation, but it seemed to be happening anyway.

  Sasha squeezed her hand and rested her head against the leather seat. She turned and looked right at Meg. “That night, in January, with my friends, when you left my apartment because I asked you to pretend we weren’t dating or whatever”—she looked down—“God, I was a mess. Jane-Anne left early but Sabrina stayed. She could tell I was off.” She lifted her eyes to Meg’s. “I told her everything.”

  “Everything?”

  “Everything.”

  “How’d that go?”

  Sasha puckered her lips, clearly remembering. “Awesome. Sabrina is awesome. She was happy for me that I was seeing someone. She yelled at me for being a jerk. She wanted to get to know you.” Sasha loosened the scarf around her neck and toyed nervously with the tassels. “Talking to her made me feel better, but then worse at the same time.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “The thing is, even though she was super supportive, I still had—have,” she corrected, looking reluctant to admit it, “my own hang-ups.” She split the ends of a loose thread. “Deep down I knew I wasn’t as okay with everything as I should be. I’m still not, really. I still don’t know what I want.”

  “Sash, we could have talked about it. We should have.”

  “It wasn’t fair to you. I wasn’t fair to you. What I did to you that night was messed up.” She shook her head. “So I backed off. You deserve to be with someone who can give you what you need.”

  “I wanted to be with you. I still do.”

  “Meg, I’m a disaster. I want so badly to tell you everything’s fine now and I’m totally there. Where you are, I mean. If you even still are.” She looked embarrassed and uncertain at her words.

  Meg looked right at her. “I am.”

  “But I’m not.” Sasha shrugged. “I don’t know why.” She looked out the window at the parked cars around them, waiting a second before she spoke again. “I meant what I said last night. I love you, Meg. Being with you feels amazing.” She smiled her gorgeous smile. “Not just, you know, physically.” She blushed a little. “Although, last night…” She let her jaw hang open a little as she met Meg’s eyes again. “Whoa.”

  Meg laughed sheepishly at the comment, but Sasha wasn’t done talking.

  “Seriously though, last night was the first time in weeks I’ve felt…I don’t know, like myself, I guess. I swear that’s because of you.”

  “So stay with me, then.”

  “But I’m just…I’m worried…”

  “We’ll figure it out.”

  Sasha looked over, narrowing her eyes as she openly scrutinized Meg’s face. “Are you sure?”

  “I love you too, Sash.”

  “You do, don’t you?”

  “I really do.”

  Just past exit six on the turnpike Sasha asked if they could spend the night at Meg’s. She wasn’t ready to go home yet, even with Meg by her side. Meg readily agreed. Sasha talked a lot about her mother on the ride, how sick she’d been the last few weeks, how hard her little brother was taking it. She was sad and she cried off and on, but every so often her tears would mix with laughter as she shared a happy memory. Meg held her hand and hung on every word until she made the turn onto her block and saw her own car in the driveway, blocked in by Betsy’s Lexus.

  “Shit, Sash.” Meg pulled the car to a stop in front of Jesse’s house. “My roommate is home. I totally forgot she might be here.” She looked over to assess Sasha’s reaction. “Her girlfriend is here too,” Meg added with a wince. “Give me a second and I can get them to leave.”

  “It’s okay.” Sasha smiled. “Don’t make them leave. I was actually thinking, you know I brought that vegetable lasagna with us. Aunt Karen made it, and trust me, it’s going to be amazing.” She lifted her eyebrows. “I was going to see if you wanted to invite Lexi and Jesse over to share it with us.” She shrugged. “I mean, I sort of owe them too. Jesse let you borrow her car and everything. Anyway, the thing is huge. There’s definitely enough for six people.”

  Meg crinkled her forehead. “You sure?”

  “I am,” she answered with an affirmative nod.

  Before Meg could question Sasha further, she’d pushed the passenger door open and jumped out. Meg followed her to the house.

  “Hello?” Meg called in as she pushed the door open.

  “We’re in here,” Tracy called from the living room a few feet away. “How’d it go?” she asked, before realizing Meg wasn’t alone. “Oh, sorry.” She moved Betsy’s legs off her lap and they both got up.

  Meg was quick with the intros. “Sash, these are my friends Tracy and Betsy.” They exchanged hellos, both Tracy and Betsy offering condolences.

  “We brought dinner. Vegetable lasagna that Sasha’s aunt made,” Meg said, breaking the mild tension and making eye contact with Tracy, assuring her it was okay to stay. “I texted Lex and Jesse, they’ll be over in a bit.”

  “Cool,” Tracy responded in stride. “I’ll throw together a quick salad.”

  Over dinner they kept the conversation light, discussing tomorrow night’s open house at the development that they all had plans to attend. Her friends included Sasha in everything, filling her in on silly community gossip and doing their absolute best to keep her smiling. While Lexi and Betsy mused excitedly about the underlying message behind a popular television series, Sasha reached for Meg’s hand in her lap.

  “Thank you,” she mouthed when Meg faced her. Sasha kissed Meg’s shoulder and rested her head on it. Meg didn’t say anything in return, but she couldn’t re
member feeling more content.

  When Jesse and Lexi got up to leave, Tracy and Betsy followed suit. Tracy pulled Meg aside to explain they were going to stay at Betsy’s for the night. Meg told her it wasn’t necessary, but Tracy insisted. As ever, Meg was unbelievably appreciative of her friends for everything they had done for her tonight and always, not really sure what she ever did to deserve such amazing people in her everyday life.

  The rest of the evening passed with little to do. Meg checked her work email to see what she had missed on her day out of the office. Meg tried to give Sasha her privacy, keeping busy on her iPad in the room she called her office even though she rarely worked from home, while Sasha was in her bedroom fielding condolence calls. She heard Sasha sobbing a few times and peeked in, bringing her a glass of water and rubbing her back for a second while Sasha listened to the caller on the other end of the line, before she left her alone again.

  Sometime after ten, Meg heard the shower go on and twenty minutes later Sasha came into the spare room where Meg was still futzing around. She put her iPad aside and swung her legs off the couch to make room.

  “Are you doing work?” Sasha asked sleepily. Her eyes were puffy from hours of crying.

  “No.” Meg let out a small laugh. “I’m playing Bejeweled Blitz.”

  “What?” Sasha laughed.

  “It’s a game. Like Candy Crush. But with jewels.” She smiled at her explanation. “It relaxes me. And it’s fun, if you must know. I just beat my high score,” she added with exaggerated pride.

  “Oh, well in that case,” Sasha teased.

  “How are you holding up?” Meg asked seriously.

  Sasha nodded and shrugged. “Okay.” She looked exhausted. “I’m going to go to bed. I’m beat.” She leaned over and kissed Meg. “You don’t have to come, if you want to stay up and play your game. I just wanted to say good night.”

  Meg’s heart sank a little. “Do you want to be alone?”