Manage Me (Taven's Circus Book 1)

by Unknown

  “I’ve never said those words to another woman besides my mother. I wouldn’t be saying them now if it wasn’t everything that I am feeling. But I get that you need more time and its okay.” I brush her tear stained cheeks with my thumbs. My heart aches that she doesn’t yet feel the same way about me but I tell myself that I will give her all the time she needs to figure out how crazy about me that she is, and no one said anything about playing fare. With a smirk, I kiss her lips, grab her hand, and pull her towards the exit.

  ****************************************************

  Nell

  Sitting next to Jaden in the limo surrounded by the band, I feel a million miles away. I just cannot believe he said that he loves me. How can that be and how is it that I so very badly wanted to tell him that I loved him too. I feel like I have never felt what love is but at the same time that has to be what this feeling is that is exploding inside of my body. Not just when he kisses me or makes love with me but a simple looks can send lightning pulsing through my body. Even now as we sit side by side it feels likes there are electric pulses tingling their way up and down. My stomach is full of butterflies and I just want to bask in this feeling forever. To bask in Jaden’s love.

  Ugh, why didn’t I tell him? But deep down I know why. The only people I have ever loved never have loved me back. My mother showed more love for a music instrument than she did me. My father was so busy building his empire that he never had a second to spare for his family. What if I am right and Jaden soon realize that he was wrong. That he doesn’t love a person that is so unlovable that her own parents, the two people in the world that are supposed to love you unconditionally, couldn’t love her. Another tear slips down my cheek, and inwardly I kick myself. I cannot meet Jaden’s family with tears in my eyes.

  “Hey” a soft whisper startles me at my ear, I turn quickly and Jaden raises he hand to my cheek catching the tear before it reaches my jaw, I lean into his palm. Everyone around us has disappeared and it is only us. Softly he kisses my lips, calming my mind, exciting my body. Pulling away he wraps his arms around me pulling me to his chest. His lips close to my ear. “Beauty, it’s okay. I am not going anywhere. I am yours and when you are ready, I hope, you will be mine too.” He whispers into my ear. How can I not love this man?

  ******************************************

  Nell

  Jaden hangs on to my hand as we make our way through the restaurant. As we enter into a privet room and see his family. I try to let him go so he can go say hello to them but his grip just tightens. Loud hellos and introductions are made. Jaden pulls me to the head of the table where a tall older version of him is pulling him in for a big hug. A woman glides around them and wraps me up in a crushing hug.

  “Oh she is so pretty!” her thick distinctly southern voice sweeping over me as she gently rocks me from side to side.

  “Mom let Nell breath.” Jaden says with a chuckle.

  “You hush! I only get to meet the girl that my baby loves for the first time once!” she says in giddy but firm voice. I eyes widen at her words meet Jaden’s as he stands by grinning like a loon. I embrace her back enjoying her soft warm embrace and her sweet smell of sugar and cinnamon. Stepping back but hanging on to my hands she examines me from head to toe.

  “Thank you Mrs. James, it’s so lovely to meet you. Jaden has said wonderful things about all of you.” I say politely completely out of my elements with this warm woman.

  “You hush with that Mrs. Nonsense. You won my baby heart, you’re family now!” As Jaden complains from behind her, as she lets out a hoot, letting my hand go, turning to swallow up Jaden into a big hug. His father step into her absence.

  “Our Elle, is an affectionate one. I am Jaden’s father, Nathen, but call me Nate,” He says shaking my hand with a chuckle, smiling at me with the same captivating mossy green eyes as his handsome son. “It is so nice to meet you, Nell. We all look forward to getting to know you.”

  “Thank you. I am excited to get to know all of you as well. Jaden talks about all of you often.” I say enjoying watching Elle kiss and smother Jaden, who takes it like a champ, seeming to enjoy basking in her love.

  “Good things I hope,” he teases pulling the chair next to Elle out for me.

  “Of course. You two have raised a wonderful man, whom adores you both.” I say about to sit but am swept up in another hug, this time by a tiny woman with long mahogany curly hair, her skin a darken tan color, and beautiful hazel eyes framed by dark lashes.

  “Ahhh…I am so excited to meet you, Nell! I'm Rook, Jaden’s brother’s wife, Keesha” She exclaims tugging me back and checking out my outfit. “Holy shit, you’re Baby!” and we both burst into a fit of giggles, hugging again, then linking arms taking our seats.

  Elle makes it into her spot next to me, Jaden stands across from me with a grin, enjoying that they have accepted me into their group so quickly. He takes the seat across from me and I am glad that the table isn’t very wide as I feel is hands slip around my ankle, running his thumbs along my calf, sending tingles and chills up my leg.

  Throughout dinner, we talk, share, and laugh. They all share stories about Jaden and the rest of the band. The trouble and fun times they had when they were little and then into the passion they all shared for music and the band. They all care about one another deeply and it is wonderful to watch the love flow around the room. Cracking open a part of my heart that I have always tried so hard to keep buried deep but being in the presences of this amazing family. This amazing unit of individuals that accepts and love each other unconditionally. They are the family that you see at the end of the movie coming together smiling and laughing no matter what it was that they just all went through. This is the family that I always wished was mine.

  Warm, accepting, and loving. There is no guilt, belittlement, or manipulation being used against one another. Despite my efforts I feel the need to escape. Escape the perfectness that surrounds me so I can breathe a minute. I excuse myself from the table, avoiding eye contact with Jaden, and make my way through the restaurant for the ladies room.

  Once inside I quickly check to make sure that I am alone before slouching against the sink fighting the tears that threaten to escape. Jaden wants that someday. Seeing him radiating happiness while in their presence just confirms that not only was I wrong about him but that he truly desires that same life in his future. And despite me growing up wishing that I had that love I never did. And what if I am just like my mother deep down. I love my career with a seep seeded passion and would hate to give it up. If I was forced to leave my dreams behind would I regret it? Would I grow to resent Jaden?

  As I ponder this a knock sounds on the bathroom door and it slowly opens, Jaden poking his head in to see if it’s safe.

  “Is it safe?” He whispers and enters at my nod.

  “I will be right out. You didn’t have to check on me.” I say turning around the sink focusing on washing my hands. He comes up behind me, wrapping his long warm arms around me, catching my eyes in the mirror.

  “Tell me what’s wrong, Beauty.” He demands nuzzling him nose into my hair reaching to lay his lips in the sensitive spot right behind my ear. I lean into him accepting the comfort he offers.

  “I just needed a minute,” I say casting my eyes down. Instead of pushing the issue he just stands holding my close to him, silently supporting me. He lays soft kisses on my temple and my glaze flicks up to meet his. Happiness mixed with love shine in his eyes.

  “They all really like you.”

  “I like them too.” My voice only cracking slightly but it’s enough for him to catch.

  “Nell they will accept you because I care about you but they will love you because you are just that easy to love.” Rubbing his hands along my arms and despite the sadness that I feel his touch still sends soft tingles through me.

  “You are very lucky to have them, Jaden.”

  “I think I am pretty lucky to have you too, Beauty. Apparently, I am just a v
ery lucky guy.” He says full of cheek, causing me to smile up at the man I adore, and shake my head. Wanting to forget the loneliness, I shift my hips skillfully back across the front of him. He sucks in a breath and I send him a cocky smirk in the mirror. Desire flares in his green eyes changing them to more of a forest green color, a grumble of need rumbles in his chest, and he swiftly runs the tips of his wet tongue across his bottom lip.

  Bringing his hands to my hips and around to my flat belly before running them up my sides, along my ribcage, just barely brushing the up my breast, and over their tightened peaks. He nudges me forwards so I drop my hands on the counter bending forward at the waist. He rubs his growing length against my center.

  “I want to fill every part of you. Push my cock deep inside over and over until you cum all over me. Would you let me fuck you here, Beauty? You would have to be quiet, could you do that?” His desire for me bombards straight to my apex and I node my head and letting out a moan as he shifts running has hand up the back of my leg, bunching up the long skirt, baring my unadorned ass. Jaden sucks in another breath through his teeth as he sees that I am without panties.

  “Jesus, it’s a good thing I didn’t know about this before. I would have walked into dinner with a full chub, unable to talk, fantasizing about demolishing this sugary cunt.” He says running a lone finger through my weeping essence, wetting my inflamed lips, and just lightly coating the little nub of nerves. The tip of his finger starts to enter me, when there is a thump on the door followed by a knock. Jaden steps back and I stand straight fixing my skirt. He sends me a fast smirk then flips the lock on the door, and pulling it open.

  “Oh, I am sorry! How did this get locked!? Weird, huh?” He sends the teenage girl a blinding smile nearly hypnotizing the poor thing. With her eyes wide she scurries away without a word. With one last grin he saunters back out leaving me a hot and horny mess. I quickly fluff my hair and check my face. Besides the soft pink of my cheeks and my slightly increased breath I look fine. I double check the back of my dress once more making sure my ass isn’t hanging out and head back to the table.

  Chapter 27

  Jaden

  Our group ended up staying until the restaurant closed. None of us wanting the evening to end. As we were all saying our good-byes, my mother grabbed me up in her arms, whispering that she was over the moon with happiness that I have found such a wonderful girl. That she was so grateful that I was finally happy, that she hadn’t seen the look in my eyes in far too long. Knowing that Nell fit so perfectly into my family just reaffirmed to me that her place was to be by my side. Now just to get her on the same page. I could see in her eyes that she was falling in love with me but she needed to come to the conclusion on her own but no one said that I couldn’t pull out all the tricks to make her realizes it faster. I really should be in no hurry. She is stuck with me for the next 3 months while we are touring, I have all that time to get her to realize that she is crazy in love with me and never wanted to be without me. Because I knew that I didn’t want to live a moment without her.

  Nell is sound asleep in my arms. Once back to the bus, we made passionate love until she passed out from exhaustion. I know that she was upset for some reason tonight and I had every intention of getting to the bottom of it but tonight wasn’t the night to do that, so I jumped at her offer of a distraction. I hear voices out in the living area of the bus and decided to head out to hang out with my friends for a little bit.

  Slipping slowly out from under Nell’s embrace I throw on some black sweats and sneak out the door. Entering the living area, Ryker is sitting in his captain’s chair, paper and a pencil sitting on the table. An acoustic guitar in his arms as he fiddles with a song. Finn and Ashton are snuggled up together on the couch playing hockey on the Xbox One.

  “Hey Bro, dinner was fun, yeah? I miss your family.” Finn says as I sit in the other chair across from Ryker.

  “Yeah, I miss them too. I think after the tour is over, I would like to take a break before starting the new album. It feels like we have been going non-stop, and I would just like sometime to breath. Nell doesn’t have much of a family relationship and I would like to bring her up here to spend some time with them.”

  “A break would be nice.” Ashton chips in and Finn nodes but Ryker’s fingers have stilled.

  “I am not talking forever, Dude, just a month-ish. Just enough to get some energy back. It feels like we have been touring since we signed.” Ryker nods his head but still doesn’t say anything. Of the four of us Ryker is the one that loves the tour the most. When not on tour he doesn’t know what to do with himself when his life isn’t surrounded by the music.

  “I want to go to a secluded beach somewhere with a hot chick in a tiny bikini, bringing me beers and sucking my cock.” Finn says adjusting himself missing the frown that crosses Ashton’s face.

  “Yeah, I could go for a beach.” Ryker finally mutters.

  “Fuck, yeah that sounds fun.” Thinking of Nell’s in a little bikini, my cock with her pretty pink lips wrapped tightly around it.

  “We should all meet up somewhere.” Finn suggests.

  Making a face Ashton throws out, “Yeah, like I want to see your cock more than I have too. Pass!”

  “Aw come on Ash, we miss that sassy mouth of yours when it’s gone.” Finn says grabbing out at her tiny waist with his huge hand, hitting her in just the right spot so she squeals. Ryker and I share a knowing look. Finn and Ashton have been playing this grab as game for years. She runs her mouth taunting him and he uses that as an excuse to get his hands on her. We both know that she has deep feelings for Finn going back to high school but by that point we were all so close that she has never said anything. While Finn has had a girlfriend or two over the years, however Ashton has always remand at a distance from any guy that showed her interest. Finn lived in a happy bubble of oblivion, never noticing the beautiful girl standing right in front of him.

  “Meeting up would be awesome, I will talk to Nell about it and see if her schedule will allow it.” I say to a nodding Ryker over the wrestling match. Ashton gains some relief when she plants both feet into Finn stomach, effectively launching him off the pull out and on to the floor with a loud thud. Instead of jumping back up Finn remains on the floor catching his breath.

  “How are things going with Nell? The family seemed to love her,” Ashton probes as she pulls her tossed hair into a mess bun thing.

  “I think Mom is filling out the adoption paperwork tonight when she got home” I say with a snicker unable to contain my elated smile “And we, are brilliant.” I could elaborate and gush for days about how insane I am for this woman, though while I am perfectly happy admitting to myself, and even Nell, that I am completely fascinated and smitten with her, I don’t want to deal with the loads of shit from my band. I know I am pussy whipped but they don’t need to know that.

  Unexpectedly Ashton launches herself into my lap, choking my neck in a hug, before grabbing my face up in both hands, and leaning her forehead onto mine.

  “I am so happy for you, J.” she whispers, “it’s been way too long since that smile has been on your face and I have missed it.’ She adds then kisses my cheeks and I wrap my arms around her allowing her to cuddle into my chest.

  “Thanks Ash. I am pretty damn happy.” I say hearing the bedroom door pop open, I turn, to see my woman appear. My heart rate picks up and a big grin spreads across my face, just for her. When she frowns, I remember Ashton on my lap, but make no move to push her off. Ashton is my family, my little sister that I never had. We have always been close and despite Nell’s unease with it I am not acting in any way I ever would around my family. She needs to see that this is how an affectionate family is with each other.

  “Hey Beauty,” hearing this Ryker and Finn both release disrespectful snorts of amusement, “I hope we didn’t wake you?” I stretch an arm out towards her and she comes forward allowing me to wrap it around her hips.

  “No, you guys didn’t wake me up, the cold
empty bed next to me did. She says rubbing my neck and threading her fingers into my hair. My eyes close at her fondling and a deep grumble of pleasure rumbles in my chest, causing Ashton to jump off my lap quickly and Nell to drop down into her place with a laugh.

  “Gross…” Ashton mutters from her spot on the pull out.

  “We were just talking about how madly in love with you I am.” Her eyes widened and her cheeks are stained with the pink of her blushing. “Ashton was expressing how happy she is for us.” I explained even though Nell doesn’t seem worried about it. Maybe she understands family better than I thought or maybe she just trust me that I do love her.

  “Did you tell them that I am madly in love with you right back?” My face breaks out into a huge smile which she returns before I attacked her mouth causing my band to groan in protest. Making us both crack up with laughter.

  “See are you two going suck face or can we discussed our vaca?” Finn says from the floor. I quickly fill Nell in on the plan.

  “A warm beach sounds divine!” She all but purrs. And I have to shift her ass in my lap as my cock stirs awake.