Past of Shadows

by Colleen Connally

  He soared.

  Her arms instinctively clutched his neck. He laughed heartily. “It is better than blasting at me, much better.”

  At first, she burrowed her face into his chest and closed her eyes. Then, ever so slowly, she opened her eyes.

  Oh, the taste of what freedom! Kela was intoxicated in the feeling, the sight, and the remembrance of once before flying high in the sky with the one that held her.

  She wanted these feeling to go on forever…for this Sordarin warrior to bring her out of the Forbidden Forest. Instead, he landed upon the cliffs, high above the woods. He released her, leaving her to stand along the edge.

  Kela blinked at the moonlit scene below. So tiny! Everything looks so small. Oh, the splendor!

  She turned to find him smiling at her. The anger she held only moments before dissipated.

  “Thank you,” she whispered. “This is so beautiful.”

  “It is,” he agreed. He stepped closer. So close she felt his warm breath upon her neck.

  He rounded his arms about her. Embracing her gently, he leaned his head against her. Their eyes locked. Her heart pulsed with his touch. No, it was more. The whole of her body shivered from his proximity.

  She pressed her lips together. What am I doing acting like a fool!

  His dark eyes considered her…lured her. Their color deepened. He was muscular, strong, and handsome.

  She couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t think. It felt like she was drowning when he lowered his head. His lips lightly touched hers. Then kissed her.

  For a moment she resisted, but then her mouth opened under his. She was lost, forgetting everything except his lips on hers.

  It was a long kiss. When it ended, she took a step back, but he didn’t release her.

  “I don’t want you to fall.”

  Placing her hands on his arms, she stared up at him. There was no denying Cono evoked a deep feelings within her, but she couldn’t. Guilda’s voice echoed within her. Trust no man!

  “Please, let me go,” Kela demanded. “You may do this often, but I refused to be treated so loosely. I may look as though…”

  “I have never done this before, nor wanted to with anyone else.” He laughed. “It has been over four years, but I have never forgotten the power that surged through me when you were by my side. I believe it was the same for you.”

  “I don’t understand what you are saying.”

  “I’m saying I witnessed a Euchoun almost destroy the King’s Wings. One blast when I touched her. It happened again when I fought alongside of her when she helped destroy an Arachnidan leader. I have dreamt of a girl in a mist for years. I have felt a pull toward something I couldn't explain until I saw you fighting off the Hallow Minions. Did you not hear me when I called to you? I did not speak a word, but you heard me. Didn’t you?”

  “Perhaps…I heard something…but it means nothing. Guilda says I’m too naïve. I promise you I will not be used. I am loyal to my brother, my king and Scarladin. I know what my purpose is…I will not be deterred.”

  “So you shall…with me.”

  “With you?”

  “Kela, can you not understand? From the beginning, we have been destined to fight side by side. Even though you try to push me away, I know you do not fear me.” He embraced her tighter. “You feel the pull, the call, the same as I. There is no other reason, except that we have been fated to be bonded.”

  “Bonded? With you? Impossible…” Her protest faded.

  He shook his head. “Kela, you have a power within you that few have seen. If the legend hold to be true, it will be needed. Do you doubt me?”

  “I know of no other bonds that find one in another’s arms.”

  “In that, I’ll admit I have no answer. I should keep my hands off of you, but, in that also Kela, I feel drawn to you as I have never before. Tell me you don’t feel it also.”

  “How am I to compare?”

  “Then I take it as a yes. I don’t want you comparing. Not Johannes?”

  The question took her by surprise. “He is my friend only.”

  “Good. I want your eyes only on me,” he said. “This is good, but beware, Kela. I have not the best of tempers and my patience is non-existent at times. I put nothing in front of my mission. Nothing.”

  “Neither do I.”

  Cono cupped her face in his hands. “I promise you this…I know we are to fight together, be together, Kela. I don’t know why King Edulf has hidden you for these years, but I do know that we are preparing to go to the Payelaga Desert. I want you there with me.”

  “How? Openly flaunting…”

  “I have thought of it. Johannes is going with Falco. He can help. I will take you there as my page. We will face our fate together. Then, we will see where it leads. Are you ready to meet your destiny, Kela?”

  Cono sounded so confident…so assured.

  She answered, “Yes.”

  Twiten’s Decision

  Kela’s life changed from that moment. No longer was she alone in the world.

  Cono’s words had touched her. Within her, the truth had been made known. Kela had no knowledge of the world outside her existence, but Cono lived within her.

  She had not confessed her revelation to Cono. For although she trusted his word, Kela could not chance her heart…not yet.

  After Cono made his intentions known, Twiten cautioned Kela. Twiten wasn’t certain of the connection, of which neither she nor Cono held any doubt.

  “Cono is a brave, courageous warrior, but he will not be the only one to try to influence you,” Twiten warned, no more than a week after Cono’s declaration.

  A week filled with her every waking moment beside Cono. There had been no more kisses or promises made in the dead of night, but Kela read Cono’s commitment in his eyes.

  “Is he not the greatest Sordarin warrior?” Kela asked Twiten with assurance that she already knew the answer. “Would it not be logical that I would bond with one such as he? Who else? My brother has bonded with Johannes. Surely, you have to believe I’m to bond.”

  “I do not believe that any other can fly, dive or soar as Cono. I will concede his prowess in battle. He is an outstanding fighter, and, I am certain, he could defeat almost anyone in single combat. But he has offended seasoned warriors with his arrogance.”

  “I cannot see a problem. How long do you plan to hold me back? You hesitated not with Johannes. Am I not stronger?”

  “We cannot make a mistake with you. It could prove fatal.”

  “Are you scared, Twiten?” Kela laughed. “Where is your faith in the Great One? You have taught me for well over four years. I know only that Cono feels the same pull as I do.”

  “Perchance.” He grimaced. “Pardon my frankness, but the pull you feel has nothing to do with being Euchoun.”

  Her eyes flamed, as did her face. “Explain yourself quickly, because I will not be insulted in this manner. I have sacrificed, denied my birthright, to become what I was born to do. Do not question me!”

  “It is not you, Kela, I question. You have trained, but in that training you have been sheltered from the world. Cono is an ambitious man. Though, there is not another warrior with the skills he possess. I hold only to your interest.

  “Even with your brother, King Edulf has had to tread softly. After your father died, the old traditionalists seemed content with Prince Fenwick as heir. Your grandmother, King Edulf’s first wife, was not well loved. Queen Althea had been a commoner.

  “With the rules of lineage, Prince Falco holds the direct line. Make no doubt, Kela, that your brother has had his own difficulties to face, but over time he has emerged from the shadow of your grandfather.

  “King Edulf understands one may know how to fight, but not how to rule. How to train a unit of men for battle, but not how to bend a man to his will. The king feels Falco’s course is set to become a great leader.

  “But within the court, one has to know that all eyes are upon you. Acknowledge the deeds of the brav
e, but take care. In a blink of an eye, the brave can turn to an arrogance of believing they, too, have been chosen. There is potential for a clash, pitting you against your own, when we have a greater evil to defeat.”

  Confused, Kela stared at Twiten. “What are you telling me, Twiten? That Cono is a traitor?”

  “No, I’m saying there are those that hold to their own ambitions, which could be said of Cono.”

  Shaking her head, Kela refused to believe it. “I have held my faith to you, Twiten, but in this you are sadly mistaken. I was there when Cono saved Grandfather.”

  “My intent is only to caution you.” Twiten pulled at his long gray beard “You are right. Cono has never exhibited any signs of deceit.”

  “Cono said he felt the power…the bond…from the first moment we touched,” Kela added.

  Twiten nodded. “Perhaps…perhaps. I will think upon it.”

  Within the week, it was decided. Twiten acknowledged Kela was bonded with Cono.

  Kela was to go with Cono to the battle front.

  She had never felt so alive.

  The Payelaga Desert

  The royal apartments were in Gold Tower. Kela had never ventured into the massive fortress in the short time she had lived in Yucca, except once. The time she had fought the Arachnida alongside Cono.

  Tonight, she had returned, cloaked in darkness.

  Twiten had transported her through his portal to his chambers. Within, an inexplicable chill went through her. She was no longer within the boundaries of the Forbidden Forest, freed from her prison.

  She was met by two winged guards and another, who brought tears to her eyes—Falco. Her heart swelled.

  She wanted nothing more than to embrace her brother, but that would never do, not here. She swallowed any emotions.

  She had come back, not as a princess, but as a Euchoun.

  There would be no acclamations, no glory in her appearance. King Edulf had given her explicit instruction in allowing her return. Kela was not to be acknowledged.

  Disconcerted, Cono was not there to greet her. He had left more than five days before her.

  Kela had only to look at her brother to know that nothing was amiss.

  Falco had grown into a man since her departure. The glimpses she had of him in the Shimmering Pool had not done him justice. He was dressed richly in a golden brocade laced up doublet and tight black satin breeches. His dark beard was trimmed short, his hair tied back in a queue. Yet, it was his poise that caught her attention.

  He carried himself as the Prince he was.

  She curtsied.

  It is good to see you, Sister. Forgive me for not being more expressive. Know though, my heart sings.

  As does mine…does Sareta know?

  Not yet, but soon. I will make certain of it.

  Cono?

  She saw Falco smile at her question.

  I will send for him soon. I wanted to see you first. You are well?

  I am now.

  He frowned. You know I thought you dead. I would have never left you as such.

  I know.

  Nothing, not even time, had diminished their connection.

  Grandfather said it was a necessity. Seeing you protect Sareta, I found myself in agreement. We cannot deny the path we have been destined to follow.

  Nor will I.

  Twiten stepped between the two. A reminder that they were not alone.

  Falco waved his hand, dismissing his guards. “Summon Cono and Johannes,” Falco commanded his guards. Then with a wave of his hand, he dismissed them. He turned to Kela and Twiten, “We have much to discuss.”

  Behind her the wooden door opened with a loud thud. Kela breathed out deeply. Cono must have been waiting in the hall. Johannes followed.

  Falco gestured to the long table behind them. “Let us begin.”

  * * * *

  The allure of her adventure had long left Kela.

  She had thought the worst of it had been the disagreements between Cono and Falco before she left. She had been wrong.

  Only now, she had begun to understand the hardship of her role...to understand why her training had been so harsh.

  The plan had been put into place. Kela was to follow Cono into battle as a page. The need for secrecy had placed many restrictions upon her, thrusting her into a dangerous, unknown world.

  At first, Kela had been amused at Cono and Falco. The two differed in their views on how to disguise her as a boy.

  There was no argument about her disguise. She was given a loose buttoned brown shirt, breeches, and sandals. She had no need for other clothing. The desert was hot and dry. Her chest was bound.

  She wore a large, floppy hat to cover her braided hair, which had been twisted into a bun. That decision had been disputed.

  “If this is to work, her hair needs to be cut as the other pages. Short. Over her ears. One burst of wind and all our planning with be for naught!” Falco warned.

  “If discovered, it will not expose her for being female. Kela can contend a love for her hair,” Cono countered. “It is not like other pages have not done the same. The Mortalita clan takes pride in the length of their hair. Moreover, if she is discovered to be female, it will be my reputation that will be tainted.”

  Her eyes caught Cono’s in thanks. She had never had someone defend her needs, no matter if it was indeed vanity.

  Kela had been prepared to cut her hair. Yet, to her shame, the loss of her long hair would have been a great sacrifice.

  She had not dreamt of much, but there had been one dream, where she had returned to her family. That she, too, would be acknowledged, dressed in the same finery she had seen in the Shimmering Pool with her hair fashioned as the other ladies of court. Not in the manner of a page!

  Yet, there had been a stiff stipulation placed upon her. She had to appear mute and keep her head down.

  “Never let one look into your eyes,” Cono cautioned. “Everyone would know they did not belong to a boy.”

  It was the last she talked to Cono for over a fortnight.

  * * * *

  Kela endured the journey to the Payelaga Desert.

  For most of the flight, she had leaned against the side walls of the holdgate. Her stomach churned with each sway. A sudden resentment surged through her. How unfair it was for only the males to fly!

  Though, in truth, travel for the army was harsh on any that could not fly. Flagons pulled the holdgate through the air, attached to the front and back. It was the quickest way to transport supplies to the units.

  Twiten had seen Kela was assigned to a holdgate that was filled with food and livestock. He had warned her. “I have arranged the safest route for you to take, but it is not without its dangers.”

  Kela understood. To be accepted into camp without questions, she had to arrive in the same manner as the other pages. She was to go by the name Rolfe. Moreover, she was expected to perform the same task as any other page, which included overseeing the care of the livestock during the flight.

  She had not been told of the overwhelming stench or the sweltering heat. Her arms chafed against the binding of her chest when she carried water to the troughs for the cows and goats to drink. Sweat oozed from her every pore.

  There was only one other that flew with her. Another page named Siegfried.

  Tall and skinny, he was eleven. His father served in the kitchen at the Great Hall, overseeing Siegfried’s appointment at page. A good sort, he seemed eager to please in his attempt to honor his father.

  He worked hard. In doing so, he talked, taking no mind that she made no response. “’em whores, ya know, on the other holdgate.”

  She looked at him confused by his words. Whores? They do not battle.

  Siegfried must have seen her question. “Are ya a dupe? Warriors need ‘em whores to fuck…ya do know what fuckin’ is?”

  Nodding, she lied. Whores, she had heard about the women of questionable reputation. Guilda had said used the word more than once. But fuck, she had never
heard that word.

  “Well, then ya know how ‘em be. The other pages will be teased and made to wait upon ‘em. I ain’t going to wait upon no whore. ‘em mean and steal anything you have. Rather be shoveling manure.”

  Quickly, Kela nodded again.

  Yet, she had doubts that riding with the whores wouldn’t have been better. The air was heavy in this container. Moreover, Kela found it hard to breathe. She was filthy, covered in slime and dirt. Her white tunic underneath her jerkin had taken a brown tone.

  Never had she been more pleased when she felt the fleogans ease their pace with their descent downward. An eternity later, the holdgate’s door finally opened.

  She walked out into the gateway and sucked in the burst of fresh air, hot though it might have been. The camp sat on the edge of the desert. She looked around in wonder.

  To the west as far as the eye could see, there was nothing but endless sand. The cloudless sky held a merciless sun. Yet, Kela took comfort in the sight of Sordarins in flight.

  In front of her, she saw a city of a thousand tents, the golden banner of the crowned hawk flying over each. The streets were dusty and rutted torn by wheel and hoof, filled by hordes of men. All men.

  The encampment’s noise was much like the busy streets in Yucca. At least until the women from the other holdgate emerged. Most were barefoot, wearing little to nothing. Kela gawked at the sight.

  A few of the young and pretty ones walked with only a ruffled scarves hanging down around their bellies and tulle used as a semblance of a top. Their breasts, round and full, were seen clearly through the transparent material. They were followed by older, experience women. Yet, there was little difference in their wear.

  Abruptly, the men stopped and started to yell vulgar words as they walked by, grapping their groin and making rude facial expressions with their mouths. Burly guards pushed back any that lunged at the provocative females, who giggled and laughed.

  “A sample only gentlemen!” a small, lean man yelled. He wasn’t Sordarin, his skin was darkened by the sun. “You know where you can find my ladies.”

  “I told ya our ride was better. That’s all they would have done to us. Taunt us for fun.”