Past of Shadows

by Colleen Connally

  Kela turned to Siegfried. His lips tightened, his hands formed a fist. Kela wondered if a whore had made fun of him in the past, but she could not ask. Pulling her large, floppy hat down over her eggs, she shrugged.

  “Come, we must find the lord jostler.” Siegfried slapped her back. “His name is Kushner. He is the one that will find us masters to serve.”

  The two took no more than a few steps before a voice bellowed for Rolfe. More than once.

  Siegfried smacked the top of her head, almost knocking her hat off. “Are deaf as well as mute? Kushner is calling for you.”

  Kela nodded, rushing toward the voice.

  “Where is that boy? Rolfe!”

  It was not hard to spot the lord jostler. He was a large, shirtless man with a belly hanging over his belt. In his hand, he snapped a whip, an insurance for the pages to walk quickly.

  Kushner stood at the foot of the street beside a tall, handsome Sordarin—Cono.

  Her heart leaped with joy. Calm, yourself. Others are watching.

  “Come here, boy.” Kushner swung back his whip. “You have dishonored…”

  Kushner got no further. Cono caught the whip. “I’ll take charge of my page.”

  “Commander, let me have him for a day or two,” Kushner said. “You will not have any trouble with him…”

  Cono shook his head. “No.”

  My defender! My protector! Forgetting the strict instructions, she raised her head and met Cono’s eyes.

  His eyebrows rose in a reprimanding manner. He frowned.

  Immediately, she bowed her head. She had forgotten to show respect!

  “I can offer you another,” Kushner pressed. “A young, scrapping lad. Siegfried. He would serve you well.”

  “I have what I need.” Cono dismissed the lord jostler. He did not look back, nor did he slow down.

  Kela found it difficult to keep up with him. His strides were longer, more assured. She fell behind.

  He slowed his pace.

  As they walked, Kela heard many acknowledgements to Cono. They were brief encounters. Cono took no time to stop.

  She came to one of the larger tents. Holding back the flap, Cono ducked inside. She followed. Only then did she gather the courage to look up. She felt a sudden chill, and gooseflesh pimpled her bare arms.

  Cono stood in front of her, hands on hips. She could see the fury in his eyes.

  “You can never do that again. Any slip could expose you.”

  Words choked in her throat. “I’m sorry…”

  “Don’t ever scare me again.” He took her hand and pulled her roughly to him.

  He bent to kiss her. She kissed him back, weaving her hand into his hair. She forgot everything: the harsh journey, the whores, Siegfried, and the lord jostler. The only thing that matter was his lips on hers.

  Cono lingered on her lips, running his fingers over them. He stared into her eyes.

  He mesmerized her.

  “I confess I feared for you. Tell me that all went smoothly.”

  She nodded for suddenly the hardship was forgotten.

  He cupped her face. “I wish everything was different. That we did not have to put up this façade…having you so close within my tent…but we will have to be strong. We can’t be caught in each other’s arms like this. From now on, I will have to use more caution. There will be no more talks as I’m talking to you now.”

  “I know,” Kela said, though certain her eyes betrayed her want to be as she was now.

  “I will look after you. Do not doubt, but until we have proven ourselves, I can’t go to…” He paused with a smile. “Outside we will face perils, but there lies a danger within, between the two of us.”

  “Guilda has warned me. Of course…” Her voice rose with indignation. “I…know a lady would never find herself in the situation I have placed myself in, but, Cono, tell me how else I can fight by your side? Do you think less of me?”

  “No, my Euchoun. Never. I would plunge my dagger into one who questioned. In the way of the world, you are far too innocent, Kela. So…innocent.” His mouth descended down upon hers again. Breaking from her lips, he whispered, “This will not be easy, Kela, for this bond we have— we can’t let others see. Not yet.”

  She had no time to answer. The flap of the tent swung open.

  Without notice, Falco walked into the tent.

  Kela stepped back as had Cono. Kela saw Cono’s jaw tense. Quickly, she surmised Falco was one of a few that would enter in Cono’s tent in this manner.

  Her time alone with Cono ended. Her mission had begun.

  Sister, there is no time for pleasantries. We have much to discuss.

  But of course, Brother.

  It was the first time that Kela looked over the place she would lay her head. The tent was spacious. An elongated table with seven chairs sat to the far side. In the middle, a fire pit had been placed for the smoke to go out the top. Yet, it was the one bed that her eyes fixed upon.

  Where am I to sleep?

  A pallet on the ground.

  She shot a look at her brother. She hadn’t meant to ask him the question.

  “Are you two holding a conversation?” Cono asked.

  “I’m sorry,” Kela apologized. “It is instinct.”

  Falco made no apology. “I want only to go over the duties and responsibilities that will be expected.” He looked at Cono. “I don’t suppose I need to remind you of our previous conversation.”

  “No, Sire,” Cono said.

  “Then let us make this quick.”

  Falco took a seat at the table, followed by Cono. Kela stood and listened to what lay ahead for her. Most, she had expected, but her heart soared with the revelation that she was to observe the maneuverings.

  “Do not call attention to yourself, but it will be imperative that you learn,” Cono said. “I have a place for you to watch.”

  Anticipation excited her.

  She was to prepare to fight…to battle alongside of Cono.

  Battle Faced

  A routine emerged. Kela worked from sunup to sundown.

  At first, it had not come easy. She had been told, but never had experienced the heat. The harsh, unforgiving endless heat drained her energy while she completed tasks. The soles of her feet blistered, the muscles in her arms and back were wracked with pain.

  She held firm, never missing any maneuvers.

  At night, she supped alone and waited for the time Cono returned. Those were the times Cono taught her about the intricacies of the Sordarins.

  “Total, there are ten thousand Sordarins within the encampment,” Cono said. “Composed of the different clans of Scarladin. Each has their own division. The Challow clans are from the middle region of Sordarin, small, but quick; the Acciptritutes from the north, are muscular and strong. The Mortalita come from the south, known for their strategies and intelligence. It is from the Mortalita clan that King Edulf came.”

  The last Cono mentioned was his own. “The Lanka clan are dark-skinned and agile. The fastest fliers. Our camp sits within the Lanka border.”

  Kela listened intently, drinking up each detail.

  “King Edulf uses each of the clans to their strengths, which makes us stronger as a unit. We fight together. Never as one,” Cono stated.

  She watched from a distance. Pride surged forth in her observation of Falco as well. She found that her brother's unpretentious nature and unmistakable courage made him extremely well liked by his men. Yet, none compared, not even Falco, to Cono.

  The days wore on. Kela began to feel Cono’s movements in the sky. Meditating, she felt as if she could almost see what he saw while he flew. No, there was no doubt within her that they held a strong bond.

  Within the camp, she became like a shadow. She was merely a page, a silent one at that. It allowed her the freedom to observe. Keen observation of their soaring skills was needed to be able to protect her warrior in battle.

  She took to the task.

  The nights were the h
ardest. Her will was tested in the coolness of the nocturnal darkness.

  She slept on a pallet at the foot of Cono’s bed. She could not resist the temptation to sneak glances of his sculpted muscles on his legs and chests, broad shoulders, and wings. He showed no shame in his body.

  He had not tried to kiss or hold her in an embrace since her first day. Yet, he teased Kela often when they were alone, offering to help her with the bindings around her breasts. Her face would flush, lending to strange yearnings she had never experienced. At times, she wanted nothing more than to crawl into his bed.

  She had not given in to the impulse, reminding herself that nothing came before the mission.

  Nothing.

  * * * *

  Two weeks passed. Kela still watched. Yet, the strategic maneuvering meant only one thing to her—there was no opportunity to do battle with Cono by her side. There had been no battle to prove their bond.

  The only action she had seen had been in her imagination. The waiting, anticipating are surely worse than the fighting would ever be.

  Despite the constant skirmishes over a month ago, all had been quiet since her arrival. There had been no sightings of the Arachnidans. The rumors of a stirring calmed.

  Evening descended. Kela had returned to the tent to prepare a meal for Cono. Once again, there had been no Arachnidan activity.

  Sodden with sweat and sand, Cono returned in a foul mood. He snapped at her soundly when the wine hadn’t been poured in wait for him. Moreover, most nights Falco and Johannes accompanied him, but this night he returned alone.

  “Are you, too, questioning your involvement with me?”

  Stunned, Kela whirled around to face him. “I question nothing about us, Cono. I never have.”

  He shook his head. His wings fluttered in obvious aggravation. He walked over to the edge of his table, banging his hand down so hard the table shook. He sat.

  “What is wrong?” She knelt, placing her hands on his knees. “Tell me, Cono. I am not a child.”

  He grimaced, taking her hands in his. “Silas has come from the capital. He brings news. King Edulf has reconsidered this approach…our bonding. Silas says that King Edulf believes you need to be exposed to other warriors.”

  “No,” she whispered. “He can’t separate us…not now.”

  “It is useless, Kela.” His tone bitter. “I have argued to the point where I have been relieved of duty. I have been ordered back to the capital.”

  Kela’s expression tightened. “I don’t understand. We haven’t even faced the Arachnidans.”

  “You are supposed to report to your brother.” His voice devoid of emotion. “I will take you.”

  She shook her head, violently. “No, I won’t go. I will not be separated from you…”

  “The orders are not to be questioned,” He added harshly. “King Edulf wants you to be paired with Silas to see if you will bond with your cousin.”

  Rising, Kela stumbled backwards. “Never. I’m bonded with you.”

  “I hold no doubt of that fact,” Cono said, but he made no movement towards her. “It gives me comfort that you feel as I. I will hold to that. In time, they will see.”

  “Don’t leave me,” Kela pleaded. Her words hung in the air.

  He said nothing more, but his eyes betrayed his knowledge. He lowered his gaze.

  There wasn’t a choice.

  He hadn’t a choice, but she refused to be taken from his side. She was not a passive soul, nor would she simply be exchanged from one hand to another like a coin in trade.

  She ran out the tent.

  Falco, answer me. Tell me this is not so. One cannot undo a bonding!

  It is not an undoing, Sister. There was no test done to ensure that in fact you are bonded with Cono as was done with Johannes and myself!

  What nonsense do you talk!

  Silas told Grandfather that he, too, feels the pull.

  Silas? Surely you jest. It is Cono…I will not be taken from him.

  Kela, you are a Euchoun. You are born to protect. One cannot dictate their own fate.

  I know who I am, Brother, as I know whom I am bonded with! Do not tell me about my destiny.

  I’m telling you to calm yourself.

  Silas…he is here?

  Silence angered Kela. Coward!

  Don’t do anything foolish!

  Kela stopped and swallowed a lungful of cool night air. It was slow going, not knowing which way to head. She glanced one way, then the other. Where would Prince Silas’s tent be? Close to Falco’s?

  Rounding Falco’s tent, she saw Siegfried, carrying a barrel of ale.

  “Siegfried! Siegfried!” she cried.

  The lad turned to the sound of his name. He gave her a strange look. “Rolfe? You talk?”

  How quickly she had forgotten! “Only when necessity dictates,” she said in a deep, hoarse voice. “I need to find Prince Silas’s tent.”

  Siegfried nodded his head to the left. “He arrived this morning.”

  She saw it now, the one beside Falco’s with two sentries guarding it. Smiling her thanks, Kela left Siegfried staring after her.

  Straightway, she decided the best course of action was surprise. The two sentries would never do.

  Taking note of two brawny Sordarins walking beside Silas’s tent, she had a plan. With a flick of her hand, she pushed one into the other. The shortest fell, got up and lit into his companion. One more flick had the other sentry falling into the fight.

  Kela slid behind the commotion and through the tent curtain. She had gained entrance. Inside, the air was heavy with scents of lavender and sweet lemon.

  She moved inside, only to halt abruptly. Silas was directly in front of her…in bed naked with a women. Wide-eyed and shocked, her breath tightened in her throat.

  Silas glanced up and smiled. Yet, he said nothing as he ran his hand down between the legs of the woman lying beneath him. She started to moan, begging Silas for more in a low, weak voice.

  The woman reminded Kela of the whores on the holdgate. Her long, scarlet hair, fell loose around her face. There was a gold chain about her waist and a multitude of bracelets on her wrists. Her sandals weren’t flat, but had a high stub on the heel with ribbons tied up the calves.

  In awe, Kela stood there with her floppy hat low on her head. Silas has a whore! She thought of withdrawing, turning her head, but she couldn’t take her eyes from the sight. Moreover, she refused to be intimidated.

  He had seen her…knew it was her…and still continued.

  The whore dug her fingers into Silas arms and pulled his face down to her breast. Soft, wet sounds of kissing made Kela want to throw up. Then, in one quick motion, Silas pulled the whore up and rode her from behind. He thrust into her over and over while her breasts dangled downward.

  Finally, Silas stopped and slung the woman down on the bed.

  “Thank you, Sire,” the woman said. “Would you like...?”

  “Be gone for now.” Silas slid off the bed and grabbed a robe off the bed. He walked toward Kela. “Dear cousin, if I had known you were coming, I would have waited. Deila so enjoys company.”

  “Put some clothes on, Silas. I have no desire for those antics. You know well why I’m here.”

  “Antics?” Silas teased, tying off the belt of his robe. “Not with you, it would not be.”

  “Nor will it ever be with me. Tell me now what game are you playing?”

  “Temper, temper,” Silas taunted. He walked across the tent and picked up a glass of wine. “Would you like some?”

  “I want only to be reunited with Cono.”

  For a long moment, he studied her and then, took a large sip of wine. “It is quite simple, Kela. It has been established that you have abilities as a Euchoun that far surpasses others. Scarladin needs you.”

  “I need Cono.” She gave him a look of sullen admonition.

  “Oh, yes, Cono.” He gave a contrite smile. “He, too, was quite upset. I’m afraid he will have to be disciplined.”


  “Am I going to be sent back to the Forbidden Forest?” Kela questioned stiffly. “I am no less guilty.”

  He winced. “You did not confront your Prince.”

  She stared at Silas in stunned disbelief. “Cono fought with Falco?”

  “Silly, girl.” He clutched his heart with fended pain. He walked over in front of her. “Have you forgotten I am your Prince?”

  Taking off her hat, he undid her bun. Her braids fell loose. He reached over to touch her face…she thrust her hand forward.

  He was tossed back onto the floor.

  “Don’t ever touch me,” Kela commanded. “It is you who forget who I am.”

  Sobered, he crawled to his feet. “Don’t ever do that again.”

  “Don’t ever touch me again.”

  Kela regarded him coldly. She wanted nothing more than to dismiss her sly and cunning cousin, leave and never deal with him again. One important fact kept her there. He had the ear of the king.

  “Do you truly believe we could bond?” She exhaled deeply. “You know nothing.”

  Silas rubbed his head. “Little fool, have you not learned that I want to protect you—you!”

  She was lost. “I don’t need protecting from Cono.”

  “It is not what I said,” he stated. “King Edulf wanted only to follow the tradition when Euchoun bond. There is a process most follow. Cono is greatly skilled, but if there is no battle to test your strength, who is to say you are not meant to stand alone.”

  “I know that Cono and I are bonded.”

  “Do you?” He straightened his robe. “Or are you looking for an escape?”

  “Escape?”

  “From your prison?” He grimaced, stepping over to his wardrobe. He took out pants and put them on in front of Kela.

  She turned her head.

  “Don’t bother with a false sense of modesty,” he said, slipping on a white tunic. “You are not a delicate flower as most noble born ladies.”

  “I was not raised as such,” she retorted, though her face flamed thinking of the scene she had moments before witnessed. “A tent gives only a false sense of privacy.”

  “What would you know of fucking?” He walked over to her side and took her hand, turning it one way then another. “It is not by experience.”