Broken Survivor

by Jennifer Labelle

  “Yeah?”

  “We’ve now got fifty-six. See you soon.” She hung up before he could distract her anymore and began to sort through what she had left to wear in her closet. She needed a shower, to do a quick shave to make sure she was as smooth as possible everywhere, to blow-dry her hair, and to add some subtle makeup to her face. “Ooh, so much to do and so little time to do it in.”

  “Are you planning to go out with Alexander tonight?”

  “That’s the plan.” Holly turned to Lauren with a handful of clothes in each hand. “I have no idea where we’re going, but he said we might run late tonight. Is that okay?”

  “It is if you’re with Alex. I trust him. He’s a really nice guy, and I knew the two of you would hit it off.” She pulled a pair of dark skinny jeans and a T-shirt from Holly’s hand. “I suggest you wear these tonight. The green in this shirt really brings out your eyes.”

  “Thanks.” Holly put the other clothes away and took the shirt and jeans from her. “I’m not sure when we’ll be back, but I’ve got my keys.”

  “Okay, have fun!”

  ***

  Fun? Fun was something she never thought she’d have just as early as yesterday, but Zander had an easy, carefree way about him that you couldn’t help but draw from. He was laid-back, easygoing, and he really had a way of making her smile and think there was some hope in the black little world she lived in. He was a shining light, and she looked forward to what other surprises he had in store for the two of them.

  He’d taken her to a very cozy Mexican restaurant right in the heart of downtown. The candlelight flickered off the warm burgundy walls, and they sat close together around the petite, round table. It wasn’t busy, so while they shared entrées of loaded nachos and chicken quesadillas, they also got to enjoy listening to the mariachi band by the door.

  “I really needed this, so if I forget to thank you again, I’ll just get it out of the way now. Thank you. This is great.” She took a huge bite of meaty nachos, and salsa dripped down her chin.

  “I thought this might be something you’d like.” He grabbed his napkin and took his time wiping up the mess she’d made of her face. His thumb traced her bottom lip before he let go. “I like that I can take you somewhere and no matter how insignificant it is, you enjoy yourself.”

  “This is not insignificant, it’s incredibly sweet, and maybe it’s the company I keep. You manage to bring a little happiness into my dreary existence, and that’s rare for me at this point.”

  “I’m glad to be of service. Feel free to show your appreciation.” Typical male, he wiggled his eyebrows up and down suggestively. “Anytime you’d like.”

  “I may take you up on that tempting offer as soon as I’m able.” She sent him a grim smile. “I’m afraid we’ll still have to behave ourselves for tonight. I’m not in the clear yet.”

  “Sorry, I didn’t mean to bring it up.”

  “I know.” Holly reached over and held his hand. “I’m sure it’s not easy for you, either, and I appreciate everything. You coming to the hospital and staying the night with me too. I needed your arms around me to keep me from falling. You were like my lifeline of support to hang on to every inch of sanity I still had in me. I was barely even pregnant, it was so early, but I loved that baby regardless, you know? And as insane as this may sound, maybe it was better off it happened this way. We’re young, just getting to know each other, and I’m still a mess. I have to keep thinking there was a reason or a greater purpose for what went down, and all I want is to try and forget. If that makes me sound cruel or heartless, then so be it, but it still doesn’t wash away the hurt.”

  “Fair enough. You have to try and fight through the pain to get to the light.”

  “I guess.”

  “Well, good.” Zander stood and held his hand out to her. “Are you ready for more?”

  She nodded and followed him out. After paying for their meal, they took another moonlit stroll and ended up back at his place.

  “Come here.” They were alone in his room now, and he lightly tugged her arm, pulling her flush against him. “So what would you like to do now?”

  With him so close to her, she wanted plenty, and the need for an escape continued. “You know, there are several things a couple can do without penetration.” She wiggled her eyebrows up and down now. “How about we use our imaginations a bit here and…” She stood on her tiptoes and locked lips with him to finish the thought. Her tongue stroked his, and she felt the vibration of his moan on her lips while they kissed. It went from teasing to scorching in less than a minute, and soon she was gripping his shirt with both hands and struggling to get it off between breaths.

  He stilled her hands after she undid the button on his pants and stepped back. “Let’s get you naked too.” He grunted and began peeling off her clothes. Her shirt, pants, and lacy bra were thrown into a corner of his bedroom, and he made quick work of getting rid of his pants. She stood there in nothing but her thong, and Zander stalked forward.

  He backed her up to the edge of the bed, and they both tumbled, tangling their arms and legs together in their haste to get as close as possible. His kiss turned tender, and he stroked the side of her face as if she was something precious.

  Holly was lost, so absorbed in him she didn’t even realize Zander had all but a moment to pull the covers over their partially naked bodies before they were interrupted.

  “I want to play too, I want to play too!” Tiana squealed as she climbed up onto the bed and began bouncing up and down.

  Uh-oh. Holly bit her lip again to keep from laughing. This had to have been a record for fastest deflation of a hard-on in history. It was priceless.

  “Tiana,” Skye called from down the hall. His niece must have been spending the night. “You turn around for only a second,” she mumbled.

  “In here.” Tiana still bounced. “Unc Ex plays wrestling. I want to play too!”

  “Alexander!” His mom turned beat-red the same moment Holly did, and she hid her face under the covers in mortification. Thankfully, she didn’t address them again. “Come on, Tiana, me-mere baked some cookies, and there’s a big chocolate chip one waiting with your name on it.”

  When the coast was clear, Zander pulled the covers from her face. “They’re gone, thank God.” He turned his head to look at her, and they both laughed at the same time. “Talk about killing the mood.”

  “Plans sometimes change on the spur of the moment.” Holly moved closer and rested her head on his chest. “In light of the situation, I’m good with just staying like this for a bit.”

  “Me too.” He took a deep breath, and she enjoyed listening to the beat of his heart while remaining in his arms for the remainder of their date. “There’s always next time.”

  Chapter Twelve

  “I’m really gonna miss you,” Holly slurred. It’d been a while since she’d last had a drink and smoked up, but she’d relapsed, and a lot of that had to do with the miscarriage. Jules was leaving in the morning, and this was her bon voyage party. It felt good to be numb again. It was just the two of them shooting the shit together. There was boy talk, of course, and talk about Jules’s sick mother and Holly’s brief hospital visit. But so far in the two hours they’d spent together, neither of them had brought up their last visit or the unexpected kiss.

  “Then come with me.” Jules hiccupped.

  “Get serious.” She waved her away and sat back. “I wish it were that easy, but I can’t, Jules. Everything and everyone I know is here. Like my sister, for example. I can’t leave her too, and I’ve got my new apartment…”

  “I get it.” Her friend snorted. “You can’t blame a girl for trying. I’m going to miss ya too, but we’ll keep in touch, right? There’s always the phone, letters, and maybe one day a visit. That may be more wishful thinking, though.”

  “Hey, you never know.” Holly shrugged and took a chug of the bitter-tasting beer. She shivered slightly as it went down. “We’ll definitely keep in touch as muc
h as we can. I’m here for you, okay? Even with the distance between us.”

  “Well, that’s good to hear. Now what about the other day? Have you thought any more about it?”

  “About what?” She licked her lips, playing coy, and drank some more for a little liquid courage.

  “Oh come on, Hol, you know what. This conversation was inevitable. You had to know I’d bring it up eventually. It’s been a few weeks.”

  “I did.” Holly sighed. “And I’ve thought about it a lot. That kiss was amazing, but I don’t want to ruin anything with Zander. No matter how tempting the offer is to be with you just this once, there is a lot going on. I’d feel like I was cheating on him, and I can’t do that. I’m sorry.”

  “So you’re tempted, huh?” Jules smirked. “Is there a chance I can persuade you?” Her voice turned husky, and she moved a little closer on the couch. “I’m kicking myself for waiting too long to tell you. I wasted so much time with Ron.”

  “I agree, you should have said something sooner.” Holly licked her lips again. “It might have happened, but there is still the matter of Zander, Jules. I’m really falling hard for this guy, and I can’t betray that.”

  Her friend nodded and held her hand. “Can I just have one kiss to see if the chemistry is as amazing as I remembered it?”

  “I suppose I could handle that.” She winked. “Come here, honey.” Holly didn’t waste time locking lips with her again. She wrapped her hand around her friend’s long blonde hair and tugged it, forcing Jules to lean to the side so she could have better access. They both moaned when their tongues tangled, moved, and caressed each other for the ultimate taste, and the kiss was instantly hot. Jules’s hands looped around her neck and she leaned forward, so Holly was forced to lie back. Then Jules took over. One of her hands left Holly’s neck and ever so slowly copped a feel of her breast. She tweaked the nipple, making Holly gasp and push Jules off the top of her. “Woah there.”

  “Too much too soon?” Her friend arched a brow and moved back to catch her breath.

  “I’d certainly say so. Anymore and it would’ve gone all the way.”

  “Really!” she exclaimed with excitement. Jules was like a kid on Christmas Morning. “Do you think Alex would mind if he joined in? You can always call him and ask, you know?”

  “You want a threesome?” Holly should have been shocked but instead became intrigued. “A one-off before you go. That’d be a hell of a farewell gift.”

  “Hell, if it’s the only way to get what I want, then yeah. Look, Hol, I know he’s yours, so you wouldn’t have to worry about that. If this is what it takes to make you comfortable enough to let me have you, I say get him over here pronto. Will you call him?”

  “It doesn’t hurt to see what he says about it. The worst-case scenario is he’ll say no or get mad, but somehow I doubt it.” She snickered and gave Jules a quick peck on the lips. “Hand me the phone, will you?” She was now in the clear to have sex anyway, and she needed the extra love at the moment.

  ***

  “Are you serious or are you just messing with me?” Zander had just stepped through the door, and he looked good, really good. He had on snug jeans that molded against his butt and bulge to perfection. His hair was messy again, as if he’d run his hands through it several times, and she loved the look of hope in his eyes.

  “I’m completely serious. I’m drunk and feeling good, and Jules is leaving tomorrow, so we thought, what better way to celebrate before we have to say good-bye? I’ve got only one request before this happens, though.” She held up a finger and pressed it to his lips. “I get to call the shots. This’ll be the first time I’ve shared, and I need you to be okay with that.”

  “You had me at serious, babe.” He chuckled. “I’d be a fool to turn down being with two women at once, so I’m on board. Let’s do this.”

  “Hold on there.” Holly wrapped her arms around his waist and stood on tippy-toes for a quick kiss. “Let’s loosen you up first. Jules is rolling some green, so let’s smoke one and then see where this goes, okay?”

  “Anything you want.” He kept hold of her hand and pinched her butt when she turned around to lead him to the bedroom.

  The room spun a bit when they’d finished smoking, and she was relaxed enough to proceed with the plan. Jules and Zander were waiting for her cue to start things, and she could see he was rocking a nice chubby in his jeans. The tip of him was almost reaching out the top of his waistband.

  “I’m so ready,” she whispered and stood to take everything off. Her friend scooted off the bed and followed suit, discarding her own clothes to add to Holly’s pile on the floor. Her man leaned back against the headboard, watching patiently and waited for her instructions just as he’d promised.

  “Would you like to watch us first?” she asked, and without taking her eyes off him, she closed the distance between her and Jules. “And then you can join in, or we could both work on you,” she offered.

  Zander’s “whatever you want” was met with Jules’s “let’s put on a show for him” almost at the same time, which left Holly with the final word.

  “I feel so loved at the moment.” She moaned when her friend took the initiative to grab her boob and maintained eye contact with him. “Zander, why don’t you get undressed? You have way too many clothes on. We’re going to test out our voyeur side a little while you watch, and then you can join us anytime.”

  He hurried to get undressed and lost his footing in his haste to obey. After bouncing on the bed a couple times before he succeeded, he was now in the buff while the girls embraced in a kiss that was a mixture of tongues and teeth. Their hands and mouths explored through touch and taste, and it wasn’t long before he joined in for their night of blissful satisfaction.

  It was a time neither would forget that brought them closer than ever. Holly had fulfilled a fantasy for him, while he continued to give her the hope and love she never imagined she’d receive. It was a win/win all around.

  Jules left bright and early after a long, gratifying night without sleep to catch the train back to her childhood home. They each received a kiss, and then they went their separate ways.

  Holly and Zander ended up back at his place to catch some much-needed Z’s, and after their rest, the two of them made love again. It felt like heaven.

  ***

  “Psst, baby, wake up.”

  “Mom?” Holly stretched and put her pillow over her head before rolling over again. “Do I have to get up? I was sleeping so good.”

  Emma laughed. “Wakey, wakey! It’s your special day. Come on, sleepyhead.”

  “Where are we going?” She groaned when her mother tossed her pillow toward the end of the bed and tugged on the blankets. It appeared as if she’d gotten her answer.

  “Hey, how come she still gets to sleep and I’m awake? It’s not fair,” Chrystal huffed as she walked into her room.

  “Relax.” Emma shook her head. “Holly’s up, you’re up, and we, my girls, are going to start this day right. Come on, let’s go get the birthday girl’s surprise ready.”

  “Surprise?” Holly sat up quickly. “What kind of surprise?”

  “It’s in the living room. Come out and see.” Her mother left them both to follow her lead. “Close your eyes.”

  Chrystal came up behind her and put her hands over them so Holly couldn’t see. “Relax, Hol, I won’t let you fall.”

  Holly exhaled the breath she was holding and blindly reached out to touch things on her way.

  “Okay, on the count of three,” her mother exclaimed. “One, two, three—ta-da!”

  Holly blinked a few times and gasped. “Oh my God, thank you, thank you, thank you.” She squealed and ran into her mother’s arms to give her a great big hug. Right in the middle of the living room carpet stood the bike she’d been admiring for months. It had rainbow streamers coming out of the handlebars and a big white banana seat for comfort. The body was light pink, and it had a pretty white basket in front with little flower
s along the top. For the mid-eighties, it was the Cadillac of all bikes that didn’t involve anything florescent. “I love it!”

  “Well good.” Emma beamed. “Let’s eat some breakfast and then we’ll go for a ride before your party starts.”

  They’d spent the entire day together, the three of them, and extended the celebration with family and friends, minus Christian. There were games, cake, presents, and a whole lot of fun, including a little embarrassment.

  Holly sat in her special birthday chair feeling happy, admiring all of her gifts when Chrystal surprised her. “There’s one more gift for you. Here.”

  “What is it?” Holly pressed on the wrapping paper and then tried to shake it to figure out what it was.

  “It’s something Mom and I noticed you needed.” Her older sister gave her a wicked grin from ear to ear.

  “O-okay?” She shrugged and tore into it. Her mouth dropped and her face heated once realization dawned. “You couldn’t have waited until later?”

  “Nope.” Her sister snickered and clearly loved that Holly was in front of an audience for this.

  “Mom?” She tried sitting on the little gift to keep it out of sight, but everyone was curious.

  “What is it?” Karen asked and decided to physically move her over to get to it. She opened the small box and revealed Holly’s very first bra to the entire party.

  Emma came to the rescue and embraced her tightly. “It’s perfectly natural, honey. You’re growing up. Why don’t we poke fun to ease the embarrassment? Put it on over your shirt, and I’ll get the camera. You’ll get the last laugh that way.”

  Holly nodded, grabbed the small white cotton thing, and put it on over her bright pink-and-blue shirt.

  Holly bit her lip while she remembered that birthday as though it had happened yesterday and stared at the picture of her younger self in that very bra. As mortifying as it seemed on the day, the experience was certainly memorable and something she’d file away as a good memory. Her mom was right. Once she’d put it on over her shirt and taken the picture, she’d laughed along with everyone else and they were able to move on. Looking back, it wasn’t so bad. She ran her fingers over the portrait and put it back with the others to pack up for the big move. There weren’t many things from her past that she was able to take with her, but anything was better than nothing. And remembering something like this lessened her fear of ever forgetting those little moments with her mother.