Hunger (Some Say Love #1)

by Jane Smith

  Charles put his head in his hands and shook his head back and forth. “I need a wife, Kelsey or I’m going to go crazy. Every relationship doesn’t need to be perfect. She and I can make this work, there are arranged marriages all over the world that end up lasting because people can force themselves to get along if they just value the marriage. I think she does. She’s an old-fashioned girl in many ways. I think we can make this work, but I can’t have you messing it up for me.”

  Kelsey was shocked. “How am I messing it up for you? By asking why you proposed? Honestly, I was trying to get you to remember how committed you were to finding a wife. You’ve found her now and it’s time to start acting like a husband and instead of lying to her about whatever we were in the past, I think you should be honest with her and face the reality together. Isn’t that what couples do?”

  Charles couldn’t take any more of the heartbreak and confusion. He knew he would rather marry Kelsey than Lana. Kelsey had a point, though, and in the end he would need to apologize to Lana and come clean. But in the meantime, here he was with the woman he loved and they had tonight. He wanted so badly to pull her on top of him and see her breasts bouncing as she rode his cock one last time. He was sure she wouldn’t agree, though.

  His thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door. Charles got up to answer it and Kelsey could hear Adam’s voice booming down the hall. “Lana called, she was worried about you.”

  Charles placated him. “It’s nothing, we just got into a little argument.”

  Adam could tell that Charles was hiding something. “I’ve got salmon on the grill. I’ll bring you a plate later.”

  Charles declined. “That’s OK, we’re going to have Indian later.”

  Adam jumped at his slip. “We? Are you here with someone?”

  Kelsey came around the corner and greeted Adam with a hug. “It’s great to see you again. Charles and I are figuring out how he can fix the mess he got into with Lana before it snowballs into something worse. Do you have any advice for him?”

  Adam looked at Charles, who was clearly uncomfortable and would probably be angry with Kelsey later for coming out to greet his neighbor. “Honesty is the best policy, Charles. You can never go wrong when you’re honest.” He looked at Kelsey, who was nodding her head.

  “That’s exactly what I was telling him, thank you, Adam.” And she retreated back into the house while Charles said goodbye.

  He returned to the living room annoyed and she interrupted him before he had the chance to say a single word. “Indian food for dinner? I’m starving. Let’s go.” And she walked right past him to the front door to put her shoes on.

  Charles opened the garage door and they slid into the seats of his other car, a Tesla. Kelsey whistled. “This is amazing, when did you get this?”

  Charles rolled his eyes. “I ordered it online before my first date with Lana. I wanted to impress her. Katya and Natasha both said my Honda made me look like a bednyy starik - a poor old man.”

  Kelsey laughed. “But you loved that car. I hope you still have it?”

  Charles smiled mischievously. “It’s at the farm house. I do love it.”

  Kelsey smiled. “Well, I guess it worked. And speaking of Lana. You should really call her. Did you leave in anger, then? Like, is she sitting at home wallowing in sadness and wondering where you went?”

  Charles shook his head. “No, I told her where I was going.”

  Kelsey raised her eyebrow. “But you didn’t tell her you were seeing me, did you?”

  Charles kept his eyes on the road. “It’s just one night and we’re not officially married yet. Give it a rest.”

  Give it a rest. Kelsey repeated in her head. Was she micromanaging his love life? Was it really OK for him to be out taking her to dinner when his bride-to-be was home alone, probably crying and confused about their future? If this is the kind of husband he’s going to be, then maybe it’s better if she knows what kind of man he is. On second thought, if she knows, then she won’t marry him and then I’ll be stuck listening to his tale of woe for god knows how long. He’s much more attractive when he’s not hounding me to marry him. Then again, seeing him treat her this way really seals the deal. I wouldn’t marry him in a hundred years.

  She looked across the car at this troubled man and still felt a brotherly love toward him. He was lying to his fiancee, he was still probably pining away for her affection, and Kelsey knew that all she had to say was, “I will marry you.” and he’d call it off with Lana and he’d probably be happy for the rest of his life. She wouldn’t have to worry about money or her children’s financial future and she could write novels and have hobbies like a normal person.

  But she couldn’t do it. He wasn’t a magnet for love, he was a magnet for chaos and she wanted no part of that. She’d lived in a drama-heavy home for long enough to know that peace was priceless and the one thing that Charles couldn’t afford.

  But he wanted her to give it a rest. The Boss said to give it a rest. So she did.

  At dinner, they talked about the days he spent following the Grateful Dead after college. They talked about his first love and about his marriage to Donna. They talked about international politics, the worldwide economic effects of the British pulling out of the EU and about recipes that contained anchovies. After dinner, they headed back to his place and enjoyed a couple bottles of wine and he promised to call Lana in the morning to make peace.

  Against her better judgment, Kelsey didn’t object when she felt his mouth moving from hers, licking and pecking his way down her neck and toward her chest. She loved the way he sucked on her breasts and wasn’t thinking very much about Lana or the importance of ensuring that Charles reached marital bliss. She wasn’t thinking about how important it was to release him into the wild or how obsessive his attachment was. In her mind, this was a job, it was just sex, and in spite of his lack of prowess, she let him take her. He bent her over the back of the couch and she could see Adam next door in his kitchen, washing the dinner dishes. She felt perfectly scandalous making eye contact with him while Charles fucked her from behind.

  Chapter 27

  “I can’t believe you slept with him. I thought you liked Michael. I thought Charles was getting married.” Amanda passed Kelsey a tissue and urged her to finish her confession. Pouring another glass of wine, Amanda tried not to ask any more questions so that Kelsey could hurry up and tell her story.

  “I don’t know what happened. I was a little drunk, I guess. I don’t know. It’s not like I’m suddenly in love with him or anything, it was just sex. Can’t two adults have meaningless sex?”

  Amanda shook her head. “Maybe it was meaningless to you, but you’re not Charles. He’s probably breaking off the engagement right now and planning to try and woo you again. I thought your goal was to get him married off so you could be free? Now he’s going to end up single again and you’re going to be stuck with him because he’s obsessed with you.”

  Kelsey cried into her tissue. “I know, I can’t believe I did that. I bet that was his plan all along. What do I do now? Should I text him and say ‘last night didn’t change anything’ or should I just leave it alone?”

  Amanda shook her head, “I don’t know what you should do, this is some weird tricky business. I have no idea. If you send him that text, you’re going to end up in a big long conversation where you have to explain yourself yet again and you don’t want that.”

  Kelsey nodded. “You’re right. I don’t want that. I guess I should leave it alone and just pray that he makes up with her. Here I am telling him to be honest with her, and tell her that he and I aren’t a thing… and then I go fucking him, and to make matters worse, I think his neighbor saw us.”

  “The cute one?” Amanda asked. “What do you mean that you think he saw you? Either he did or he didn’t. Did he see?”

  Kelsey nodded her head. “Yeah, I’m pretty sure he definitely saw. I mean, I made eye contact with him through the kitchen window while Charles was fu
cking me on the couch. At the time it was really hot. He’s so sexy. I mean, I was drunk, Mandy.” Kelsey’s bottom lip stuck out as she was pouting in shame.

  Amanda laughed. “Well, if you made eye contact, I’m pretty sure there’s no denying that he saw you. Shit. Do you think he’s going to tell the fiancee? What does Michael say about it?”

  Kelsey pressed the home button on her cell phone. “Shit. I’m supposed to be at Michael’s place in a few hours. My god, this has been the longest day ever. OK, Mandy I have to go. I haven’t talked to Michael about it yet, but I will, I promise. See you Sunday?”

  Amanda walked Kelsey to the door and locked it shut behind her.

  Chapter 28

  Kelsey sat across the table from Michael, feeling slightly distracted by the events in Charles’ world and listening to him tell an absolutely fascinating story from his childhood, about the time he was in boarding school and found a dinosaur bone in an excavation site on campus.

  Michael was an excellent storyteller and Kelsey had learned not to interrupt with questions, because he always laid everything out to reveal the details in the perfect order. She remembered his stories and tried to remember the way he told them so she could apply the technique in her writing practice.

  “You look a little distracted, honey. Is everything ok? Or are you just nervous about your new career?” Michael sipped his gin and tonic and peeked at his cell phone while he waited for her response.

  In the chaos over Charles’ engagement and cheating, she’d forgotten that next week was to be her last day at the preschool. Charles had given her enough money that she wouldn’t have to work for a while and rather than shopping it away, Kelsey’d decided to invest her time in finishing a novel she’d started before her divorce. It began as therapy; Amanda had suggested she write a new and happy ending to all her terrible marriage stories. She knew the process would help her heal, but thinking about the marriage triggered her PTSD. It was helpful work, but emotionally exhausting.

  “I’m good. I saw Charles last night. He kinda tricked me into coming up. He said it was an emergency, but in reality he’s having trouble with his fiancee. I’m just a little stressed about how that’s going to turn out. It’s been really nice not having to see him so often.”

  Michael nodded. “Yes, it’s been really nice seeing you more often. I’m glad you were able to come in spite of the… work obligations.” He turned his phone over and peeked at the screen while Kelsey wiped her mouth to speak.

  Kelsey reached across the table and held his hands. “I’m glad, too. I don’t know what it is, but seeing you makes all of the stress lift away. Maybe it’s the sex. But I think it might be something more. I’m really enjoying you.”

  Michael smiled and squeezed her hands. “I’m really enjoying you, too. You’re so easy to be with. You’re funny, smart, wild in bed, and beautiful to look at. I’m glad we’re a thing.”

  Kelsey smiled and excused herself to the restroom. When she returned, Michael was sending a text message. He turned his phone over and put it down on the table to sign the bill so they could go home and have more wild sex.

  When they got back to his place, Kelsey hopped into the shower to freshen up before they went to bed. When she got out, she sat on the edge of his bed and towel-dried her hair, detangling it with a wide-toothed comb. Michael set his phone on the nightstand and went in to shower, as well. When she heard the water running, she picked up his phone to see who he had been texting.

  Who the fuck is Angela?

  Kelsey’s legs went limp and her heart began to race. She wanted to scream or cry or hit something. She and Michael had never discussed monogamy and she couldn’t very well be upset about it, given that she was also sleeping with Charles, but why was he texting her during dinner? Shouldn’t he either be open about it, the way Kelsey was, or at least hide it better?

  Besides, Charles is a job.

  Her world was spinning and she didn’t know what to grab onto. The fact that she was about to have mind-blowing sex again or the fact that he was probably fucking Angela every time she wasn’t around.

  She couldn’t handle the weight of this realization. For so long, she had fought the urge to be jealous of his big city life, with happy hour and esteemed coworkers. He probably didn’t even like her as much as he said he did. He was probably just making her feel better about herself and having his own fun when she was away. Come to think about it, maybe the reason they rarely went out was because he already had a girlfriend. Maybe it wasn’t because he thought the sex was incredible.

  I’ve been played for a fool. He never liked me. She had to get out of that bedroom before he got out of the shower so she could have another minute to process this.

  She went to the kitchen to get a drink of water and sat down on the couch to drink it. He’d have to get out of the shower and put his robe on and then he’d be here, looking at her and wondering what was wrong.

  Nothing is wrong. I need to talk to Amanda.

  Nothing is wrong.

  Nothing is wrong.

  “Hi, sweetie, what’s wrong?” Michael asked. Kelsey took a deep breath and looked across the room at the man she’d been falling head over heels in love with and answered,

  “Nothing.”

  She took his hand and led him into the bedroom, where she mauled him like a tiger, pushing him down onto the bed and ripping his robe open. He wasn’t erect right away, he was in shock that she was playing the aggressor and he wasn’t sure if he liked it or not.

  She kissed his mouth furiously, bringing her hand down to his shaft and stroking his limp cock, squeezing it each time she felt the gentle throb of his building tension. When she felt that he was almost erect, she got down on her knees, licking at his nipples while she pinched her own. She let out a little moan in ecstasy. This is what Michael is for, she reminded herself.

  She looked up at him, seeing that his eyes were closed and his neck was tilted toward the ceiling. “You’re not even looking at me.”

  She stood up and took a step backward. “Do you want me to suck your cock, Michael?”

  Michael spoke to her that way sometimes and it always drove him wild when she answered “Yes, sir.” So he answered her appropriately. “Yes, ma’am.”

  She smiled and pursed her lips together for a moment, enjoying the role reversal and suddenly filled with ideas to make him work for it. The dynamics in this situation were therapeutic and empowering. “Then look at me while I taste you.” Michael nodded his head and complied, moaning deeply at the sight of her tongue gliding along the length of his shaft and her lips closing around the head of his cock.

  She loved having him in her mouth more than anything in the world and she could have done this forever. Usually, he’d stop her and lift her to his chest so she could ride him. The change in sensation helped him prolong his erection and by that time she often wished she could be penetrated as well. The truth was that she’d never stop sucking his cock, even with the incentive of having him inside her pussy. She often wished she could fuck and suck at the same time.

  She continued to suck him even when she could feel his balls tensing up. She didn’t want to let him come just yet, but she wanted to see if he would dare try and lift her in this state of mind.

  She saw his hand flinch and responded right away. She moved his cock down to her neck so he could feel her voice vibrating when she said, “You wouldn’t dare try to make me stop right now, would you?”

  Michael took a deep breath and moaned in protest. He didn’t know how much longer he could comply. He felt the weight of his cock pulling as she let go of him and stood up. He saw her hovering over himand she asked, “Are you going to listen to me or are you going to try to take control of this?”

  Michael was confused; she was acting dominant and he was trying to wrap his mind around the switch. He was trying so hard to hold back and let her take control, he was excited about where this was going to go. But at the same time, he wanted to turn her over his knee and
smack her ass for sassing him, then fuck the daylights out of her to kill the notion of turning their sex life into something he had no control over.

  But most of all, he was surprised that she could slip so easily into this role. And he was a little relieved to not be in control.

  She had been completely submissive to him in the past. She took pain well, in fact, she enjoyed it, and he enjoyed pushing her to her limits. He loved seeing her arrive a strung out mess of stress from work and kids and Charles and life, then sending her home a couple days later nearly sedated; calm and satisfied and peaceful.

  He was falling in love with Kelsey and found himself distracted by thoughts of her all the time. He tried to fight it, forced himself to fill up his social calendar with happy hours and coffee dates with old friends from his old job, from college and from work but every time he was alone, he thought of her.