Hunger (Some Say Love #1)

by Jane Smith

  Seeing her like this turned him on more than physically, it lit his soul on fire. He wanted to be a bigger part of her life. He wanted to comply. He wanted to lose control with her. She could own him. In many ways, she already did.

  Kelsey couldn’t read his mind, so she insisted he answer. “Mike, must I restrain you?”

  Michael answered quicker this time. “I will control myself, ma’am.”

  Kelsey snapped. “No, Michael.” And she leaned down and looked him dead in the eye, clearly saying, “Tonight, I am controlling you. Got it?”

  Michael nodded his head, “Got it.”

  She reached into her purse and pulled out a small lipstick vibrator and turned it on. Then she lay next to him on the bed and told him to get on all fours, shimmying underneath him. “I want you to fuck my face, Michael. And I don’t want you to stop until you’re about to come.”

  Michael heard the vibrator speed slow down and then speed up again as she pressed it into her clit and then pulled it away for a second. He memorized the rhythm she was choosing so he could do it himself next time. He lowered his hips to her face and gasped a little as he entered her mouth. He could feel the vibration on the mattress and her hips grinding by his feet. When she moaned from the beginnings of her orgasm, he found himself fucking her face harder.

  Kelsey was having a hard time breathing and coming with his dick in her mouth, but she wanted this. She wasn’t about to let him win by allowing herself to gag. She tossed the vibrator onto the mattress and grabbed his ass with both of her hands, pulling him deeper into her throat. Her nails were digging into his thighs and she found that her pussy was still contracting without the vibrator. She needed him inside of her but didn’t want to let him stop thrusting into her throat until he was ready to blow. She cupped his balls into one of her hands, pressing firmly on his perineum so he’d get closer to coming faster. A growl from deep in her throat brought him to the brink and he pulled out quickly, raising his hands in the air in surrender. “Can I come now?” he gasped.

  Kelsey smiled and almost laughed. She loved having him in the palm of her hand this way and chuckled as she answered him. “No, I’m not done with you yet.” She turned around and pushed him onto his back, then she leaned forward onto his headboard and lower her pussy onto his face. “I want you to suck now. Don’t lick. Just suck my clit until I tell you to stop. Start gently and don’t increase the force or speed unless I tell you to.”

  Michael complied, knowing full well that he was suckling much more gently than she’d wanted him to. Michael knew her body well and Kelsey was completely aware that he was deliberately torturing her but she wasn’t about to let him think he was getting away with it. Instead of asking for more, she ground her pubic bone into his top lip, praising him, “Mmmmmm, that’s it. I love your tongue, yes…” She let it go slowly and gently until she couldn’t stand it any more and instead of asking him to suck harder, she lifted herself up a little and told him, “Lick me now. I want you to lick me while I’m coming.” His tongue began lapping at her folds as she became wetter and she rocked her hips to control the pressure, pressing his head into the mattress just as he’d done to her earlier.

  She lifted herself off his face and told him, “Stay there.” while she grabbed several pillows and told him to sit up. “I want you to suck on my tits while I’m riding you. Suck hard and don’t switch sides until I give you permission. Do you understand?”

  Michael answered, “Yes, ma’am.” and Kelsey smiled to herself, knowing he couldn’t see her face.

  She lowered herself onto his cock slowly, the thickness of it always made her pause. Michael loved seeing her face when he was impaling her, her eyes rolled back into her head always at the same speed that he entered her. This was his favorite moment. This time, she leaned over him as she was descending and he began to suck. He wanted to feel their fullness in his hands but he didn’t know if he was allowed to touch them. He opened his mouth as wide as he could, taking as much of her as he could into his mouth. He felt her hands near his face, squeezing her breasts while he sucked.

  The combination of being fucked and sucked at the same time made her come really hard, but she didn’t want to stop. She didn’t want him to think he had won. She knew that the minute she was too exhausted to continue, he would take control. She gathered her mind and body back together long enough to put his hands on her breasts before she crossed her arms and leaned completely on the headboard. She pushed his head to the other side to switch breasts for a new stimulation and rocked back and forth on his cock harder this time. This time when she felt the orgasm building, she jumped off him.

  Not sure of where she was going, Kelsey lowered her head to his erection and began sucking again. The only thing she loved more than sucking his dick was tasting her own orgasm on his shaft. Creamy streaks of her own lubrication and pleasure clung to the sides of his shaft and she licked each one off in a strategically spiral pattern. She looked up at his face and saw that he was staring down at her. “Good job, you didn’t forget.” And she flicked her tongue at his cock to retrieve a streak of fluid that stretched from her mouth to his cock like a string as she slurped it up, moaning softly to herself.

  She pressed his legs open and stopped swallowing the saliva and precum until he could feel it dripping down his balls toward her fingers. She felt it, too, and used the tip of her finger to spread it down toward his ass. As more and more dripped down, she pressed further and further into his anus, sending thousands of nerve endings into overdrive. His legs were shaking and his balls were contracting rapidly when she quickly stepped away from him and stood next to the bed.

  “Who is Angela?”

  Chapter 29

  Michael’s face went white and he groaned in pain. “Angela?” he asked.

  Kelsey slipped her sweater dress back on and picked up her purse, heading straight for the door. She just couldn’t do it anymore. “I gotta go. I thought we were having a ton of fun and I thought you really enjoyed me but I don’t know who Angela is and it looks like she wants to see you, so…” She gestured, waving one hand toward his cock and the other toward his phone. “You have fun, ok?”

  Michael followed her to the door. “Don’t go, I’m sorry. It’s not what you think… please…”

  Kelsey headed down the elevator with a determination and seething anger that kept her from bursting into tears. Once she got into the parking garage, her eyes were blurred; the dam was about to overflow and she only needed to make it to her car to release the floodgates.

  She sobbed in the front seat of her car until she was able to talk herself back into a state of “I don’t care, it was only sex,” resisting the urge to remind herself that it was only the best sex ever.

  Her hand probably smelled like spit and cum and ass, so she opened the glove box to retrieve the wet wipes and found a months-old check from Charles with “I will always love you” written on the memo line. She crumpled it up and tossed it into the center divider with the wet wipe.

  Kelsey headed home, broken and not entirely sure what to tell Amanda. She’d want to know why Kelsey came home a day early and then Kelsey would have to face her and the kids with this mountain of grief on her shoulders. Instead, she pulled into a roadside motel to spend the night so she could compose herself.

  She stopped into the corner store to purchase a bottle of whiskey and a pack of cigarettes. It seemed like a drinking and smoking occasion. Kelsey hadn’t had a cigarette in years, but this was a special occasion.

  By midnight, she was passed out, drunk, reeking of cigarettes, and lying sideways on a king-sized bed in the Oregon Motor Motel in Bigg’s Junction. She resisted the urge to send him any sort of text message or email and stayed off of social media easily. This was not a mood she wanted to share with anyone. Instead, she’d just pouted and chain-smoked until she passed out.

  In the morning, she showered and headed home, reminding herself, “It was just sex.” She didn’t believe it, but the sentiment was enough to k
eep the tears away long enough to get home and immerse herself in “real life” without her kids noticing what a mess she was. Amanda noticed, but respected her response. “I just can’t talk about it yet. Please. Let’s talk tomorrow, ok?”

  Chapter 30

  Tomorrow came and went several times. Kelsey still didn’t want to talk to Amanda about it and Amanda was growing very concerned.

  Kelsey’s doorbell rang just as she was taking the lid off her hot tub. She greeted Amanda at the door in her bikini, shushing her not to wake the kids up. Her back and arm muscles were sore from writing all day and she needed to soak before she could sleep.

  Amanda walked in the door, set a bottle of wine on the kitchen counter. and spread a newspaper out on the counter as she reached into the cupboard for wine glasses. She waved her arm toward the newspaper and asked, “Is this what you’re upset about?”

  Kelsey leaned in to focus on the newspaper. Charles and Lana’s beaming faces stared back at her and she read aloud, “Socialite marries billionaire in fairy tale wedding.” Kelsey choked on the words, not in sadness but in amusement. She smiled, hugging Amanda and answering, “No, I hadn’t even seen that. If you have time for a dip, we can talk. I haven’t been ignoring you, I just had to wrap my head around my new reality and adjust to my new writing schedule.”

  Amanda hugged her back. “I know it takes you a while to process things sometimes, but it’s been like a month since I’ve seen you. I’m here for you and you know you always feel better after you get it out. Come on,” Amanda said, slipping her top off and sliding the patio door open, “Let’s soak.”

  Kelsey followed her out with the wine glasses in one hand and two towels in the other.

  The summer nights in Bend were a lot colder than the days. The hot water was a relief and both women sat in silence for a little while before Kelsey started to speak. “How is Sarabeth doing these days?”

  Amanda shook her head. “Now it’s my turn to not want to talk about something. Sorry, babe. She’s not doing well and they still don’t have answers for us. New meds aren’t working and I have nothing to add to any of that. I’m here for you. Rescue me from my reality, please. Just spill it.”

  And spill it, she did. Everything from her growing feelings for Michael, including her fear of those feelings, her conscious decision to never discuss monogamy because she felt bad about seeing Charles, and her tantrum over the whole Angela thing.

  Amanda was confused. “Did you read the texts? How do you know he was making arrangements to see her?”

  Kelsey shook her head. “No, I didn’t read his texts, but he’d been texting through our dinner and again while I was in the shower. He’s never mentioned the name before and he often mentions the names of people he works with. It’s like he was pretending he wasn’t texting someone. I can handle him having a life, but I can’t handle being honest and open with someone who isn’t honest and open with me.”

  Amanda nodded her head. “Sure, right. I mean he’s always been great about listening to the situation with Charles and offering helpful advice and accepting your situation. But how do you know he’s seeing this Angela?”

  Kelsey’s head was woozy and her stomach turned sour; it was time to choose between soaking in hot water and drinking wine. She slipped out of the hot tub and lay down on a patio chair to wait for the dizzy feeling to pass. “I just know.” And then she laughed. “Oh my god, you should have seen his reaction when I confronted him, too, it was priceless.”

  Amanda’s face grew dark. “You confronted him for receiving a text message?”

  Kelsey looked worried. “I know it sounds a little crazy. I mean, I tried to just proceed through the evening as if nothing had happened, because in a way, I don’t even know what was happening.”

  Amanda nodded her head. “Yeah, all you knew was that he received a text from someone named Angela. So, what did you say when you confronted him?”

  Kelsey answered quickly. “All I said was ‘who is Angela?’ so nothing too confrontational. It was a simple question, really, but I left before he answered. All he had a chance to say was, ‘It’s not what you think.’”

  Kelsey’s head was spinning now, and not from the wine but from the realization that she might have made a huge mistake. For the past few days she’d been forcing her mind to focus on recovering from her broken heart, convincing herself that her relationship with Michael was only about sex and trying not to let herself wallow in self-pity or anger toward him. He was, after all, just a fuck-toy. Right?

  Amanda wanted Kelsey to be happy and she knew that Michael had brought her more joy in the past six months than Brian had in the past six years. “Have you called him to apologize yet?”

  Kelsey shook her head.

  Amanda continued, “Has he called you?”

  Kelsey nodded her head. “I blocked his number right away. I don’t want to deal with it. I just want to move on.”

  Amanda shook her head and stepped out of the hot tub. She towel-dried her legs and wrapped up, retrieving Kelsey’s phone from the patio table. “What’s your unlock code?”

  Kelsey was afraid to give it to her. She didn’t want to be forced to talk to him right now, or ever again, and she wasn’t sure what Amanda was going to do. “We’re not calling him.”

  Amanda responded, “Of course we’re not calling him, but we are going to see if he’s left you any messages. What’s your code?”

  Kelsey said ,“Seven four two three, and I’m not sure I want to hear his messages.”

  Amanda unlocked Kelsey’s phone and found the blocked messages screen. “He’s left you one message. It was the night you left. It’s been almost a month. You haven’t listened to it yet? What are you afraid of? We can just listen to it together. I’m dying to know what he has to say.” She put on the speakerphone mode and pressed ‘play’.

  Chapter 31

  Michael’s heart was racing. I’m only going to leave one message. If this was just about sex, why am I so upset about this? I can’t do this, I need to be able to focus on work. I shouldn’t have gotten involved with her. What the hell was I thinking? I need to let her go. If she gets this bent out of shape over nothing, then what if I actually do mess up one day, she’s going to make my life miserable. I’ve gotta shake this off. She was a toy and now she’s broken.

  Only, I broke her. Except I didn’t, she wouldn’t even let me answer. Is this how she handles things? I could never stay involved with such a drama queen. And why is she so bent out of shape when she’s the one who has been sleeping with someone else the entire time, not me. I should have been sleeping with other people. Maybe then I wouldn’t be so broken up about losing her.

  But I haven’t really lost her, have I? I don’t know what’s worse, feeling like I lost her or knowing that she has the power to destroy me like this.

  I don’t think I want to see her again, but she needs to know the truth.

  One message. No apologies, I have nothing to apologize for.

  Michael listened as Kelsey’s phone went straight to voicemail. Her battery couldn’t be dead, she always plugged it in while she was driving so she could stream music through the car speakers. She must have blocked me. Damn, that was fast.

  “Hi, Kelsey, it’s Michael. I believe you misinterpreted what you saw and I’m not happy about the way this night has ended. From what I know of you, I would have expected you to have an adult conversation about this. I guess I was wrong. Our story could have had a much different ending.”

  Michael dropped the phone into the drawer on his bedside table, not sure if he had the strength to answer her call and hoping she’d stay away for good, this type of pain was the exact reason he was avoiding relationships.

  He lay in bed, aching from the abrupt ending to their night of passion and annoyed with himself for letting his heart get away from him again.

  Chapter 32

  Kelsey locked the door of her office, determined to write the happy ending to her romance novel. The instant she sa
t down, her phone rang again. Dammit, Charles. Leave me the fuck alone. Enjoy your fucking honeymoon and stop calling me. She switched the phone to silent and sent a quick text to Amanda. “Have fun at the park with the girls. Thank you for hanging out with them. I think I only need a few hours and then I’ll take us all to dinner tonight.” She slid the phone into her top drawer to focus on writing.

  Amanda stuffed the book she was reading into her purse and shuffled the kids out the door toward the park. As they walked away from the house, she saw a Tesla pulling into the driveway. She watched from across the street while a well-dressed older gentleman rang the doorbell. Was Kelsey lying about her plans for the afternoon? Was that the real Charles St James?

  If Kelsey was anything, it was not a liar. He must be surprising her. I wonder what she’ll think of this. She continued on to the park with the kids and decided she’d hear about it later. Jerk thinks he can just pop in unexpectedly and she’s got nothing better to do than receive him as a visitor. No wonder she doesn’t want to be with him. But is that what’s really happening here?