My Sister My Momma My Wife

by Lipsey, Shelia E.

  Francesca slowly walked past him with Tim holding on to her.

  Tim turned. “I’m going to pray for you. It’s all I can do,” he told Pastor as they walked out of Pastor’s apartment leaving the door open behind them.

  20

  "A pure hand needs no glove to cover it." - The Scarlet Letter

  Stiles had been at Holy Rock most of the morning, and so Detria took a chance and did something she’d never done before; she invited Skip to come to the house for a quick rump in the same bed she and Stiles shared.

  She had promised God that she wouldn’t sleep with him again, but she was too weak to resit Skip Madison. There was just something about him, something that drew her under like a curse or a spell.

  She had just finished her bath and putting the soiled linen in the washer when she heard Stiles enter the house with a bang. She jumped. He had slammed the door with what sounded like full force. She rushed into the kitchen to see what was going on.

  “What’s wrong with you?” Detria asked after she saw the look on Stiles’s face as he entered the house. “You look like you just witnessed a murder or something.”

  He paced back and forth across the hardwood floors of their family room while Baby Audrey sat on a throw in the floor playing with toys.

  “I’m just. I don’t know what I am, Detria. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to believe. God, help me,” he said before he went to his favorite chair and sat down.

  “Stiles, please, you’re scaring me. What’s wrong with you.”

  Detria quickly dismissed the thoughts she was having about her earlier tryst with Skip. For a second she thought Stiles had run into Skip leaving their house, but then she realized that couldn’t have been possible because Skip had been gone for at least thirty minutes.

  “Detria,” he was shaking his head from side to side as he came near her.

  “Tell me, what’s wrong? You’re scaring the baby too. Look how she’s looking at you,” Detria said, looking over at her daughter. “She’s getting ready to cry.”

  “I know. I’m sorry.” Stiles got up and walked over to Baby Audrey, squatted down next to her and started playing with her. For the next few minutes he entertained her, while toying over in his mind the events that had transpired earlier. How much more was being hidden? Was Pastor really telling the truth about Audrey? Where did the truth end and the lies begin? These were questions he tossed over and over again in his mind.

  “Baby, did something happen at church? Did somebody die?”

  Stiles always took it hard when one of his members went to be with the Lord. Folks at the church didn’t witness that side of Stiles, but Detria often witnessed his hurt first hand. He would sometimes go into his study and cry and pray for hours after funeralizing one of their church members, especially those who he had come to know on a more personal level. It was hard for Detria to watch him, to see him during those times of despair. Most people seemed not to realize that pastors grieve too. Detria hadn’t thought much about it herself until she became Stiles’ wife.

  “No, everything’s all right at the church. It’s Pastor. Pastor, Audrey, Francesca, everybody.” He stuck a toy in one of Baby Audrey’s hands and stood upright while rubbing his own hand back and forth on the crown of his head.

  “What about them? What’s going on, Stiles? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

  Stiles walked over to the nearby king-sized ottoman and sat on its edge. He told Detria everything that had happened. When he finished, Detria’s hand covered her open mouth.

  “Are you serious? I can’t believe this. What was Pastor thinking? I don’t know why he would tell y’all something like that anyway.”

  Stiles looked at her. “What do you mean by that? I guess the man finally realized that it was time for him to cough up the truth. It’s so unbelievable though. It’s left me more confused than ever. I don’t know what to believe.”

  “Well, seems to me there’s no reason for him to lie about it. I mean, all lying is going to do is make things that much worse.” Detria paused. “That is, if things could get any worse. And poor Francesca. I know she must have taken it hard. That woman has been through so much. I don’t know how she does it.”

  “It’s not just Francesca,” Stiles said in a biting tone and cut his eyes at his wife. “I’ve been hurt by this whole thing and then on top of all at that, my poor dead mother’s name has been ruined. How could he do that? As much as she loved that man and he sits up and tells us that she had an affair on him. It just doesn’t make sense for her to lie like that. And what about the newspaper clippings. Why did she have them? None of it makes sense.”

  Detria shifted nervously in her seat. A wave of guilt came over her as she listened to Stiles talk about Audrey’s affair with another man. But things were different, or maybe they weren’t. She heard Stiles talking but she couldn’t for the life of her understand what he was saying. Skip, you wouldn’t walk out on me. You wouldn’t do me like that man did Audrey would you. What we have, well it’s different, and I’m in control of the situation anyway. I wouldn’t fall weak to you like it’s obvious that Audrey did. Stupid woman.

  “I’m sorry, honey. Maybe your mother found it easier to cope with the thought of being raped than to face the fact that her husband caught her with her lover. The same lover who turned around and walked out on her. I really don’t know,” Detria said sounding just as confused as Stiles.

  “But, look why don’t I make us something to eat. And while I’m doing that your daughter can keep you company. That way your mind won’t be occupied with worrying about Pastor and his confessions. It’s a crying shame the way that man has done you and Francesca. And he’s supposed to be so righteous and upright. I tell you, it’s those kind of─”

  Stiles put up a show of hands. “Stop it, Detria. Just stop it. I don’t want to hear it.” He pounced up like a panther from off the ottoman. “I’m not hungry,” he said and stormed out of the family room.

  Detria heard him as he pounced up the stairs. Suit yourself. “I was just trying to be nice,” she mumbled. Baby Audrey started crying. “Stiles,” Detria called. “Stiles, the baby’s crying.”

  Stiles didn’t respond nor did he come back downstairs.

  “Dang,” she said and walked over to where Baby Audrey was flailing her arms and going into one of her temper tantrums. The baby hated to be left alone. She loved to have someone up in her face all the time. “You’re just like your grandmother. You always want the spotlight on you,” she said to the baby as she grabbed her off the floor and placed her on her hip. “Be quiet,” she said in an elevated voice. “I’m not for all this crying.”

  She walked into the kitchen and went over to the refrigerator. She removed an orange sippy cup and closed the door to the stainless steel appliance. “Here,” she said and gave Baby Audrey the sippy cup full of apple juice. “Now shut your mouth and drink this. You’re sleepy anyway.”

  Detria returned to the family room and pulled out Audrey’s portable crib and placed the child in it before she turned and walked off and went back into the kitchen. “I’ll be right back. I’m just going to go in here and fix me a sandwich. So don’t start all that crying again. I mean it too.”

  Detria made herself a turkey sandwich with the fixings and a glass of iced tea, and then returned to where Baby Audrey was sitting in her crib, nodding. She was barely holding on to her sippy cup. The scene would have made for an adorable picture but Detria wasn’t the picture taking type. She sat her food on the nearby table and then walked over to the crib to lay Baby Audrey down.

  Baby Audrey started crying again. “I told you I wasn’t going to have all this noise. Shut up and drink that juice and go to sleep,” she ordered the infant who seemed to understand her mother because instantly she became quiet, put the sippy cup in her mouth, and closed her eyes

  Detria took a couple of bites of her sandwich and then retrieved her cell phone from the same table where she’d set her food.

>   She listened to the phone ring. The voice mail came on. “Hi, this is Skip. Sorry I’m unavailable to take your call, but if you leave a message I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.”

  “Hey, Babe. It’s me. I’m still thinking about our little meet and greet earlier. That was fun.” She laughed into the phone. “Anyway, call me when you can. You are not going to believe what I have to tell you.”

  ◊

  Francesca cried almost all the way to Jackson. Tim was furious. The Graham family was looney tunes in his book. How could they go around destroying each other’s lives over and over again? Didn’t they practice what they preached? It was becoming more apparent to Tim that they didn’t or else his wife wouldn’t be sitting across from him distraught.

  “Francesca, please, baby. Please don’t cry. It’s going to be all right. I promise you it will. You don’t ever have to go back there again. You don’t ever have to see them or talk to them again if you don’t want to.”

  “I just want to be at home. I want to go home, Tim. Please, just get me home,” she pleaded tearfully.

  “I am, honey. Just hold tight. And stop crying. You’re going to make yourself sick. And you know we don’t want that. The enemy is just trying to mess with your head, and we aren’t going to let him do that. We’ve got too many positive things going for us.” He reached over and massaged her shoulder with his free hand.

  “I love you, Francesca. I love you so much,” he said in a soothing voice. “Shhh, it’s going to be all right.”

  Francesca began to calm down but her breathing remained heavy. “It’s not fair, Tim.” She shook her head. “It’s not fair.”

  “I know it isn’t, but God is still a just God. He knows your pain and he’s got your back. You have to believe that. You have to trust Him, baby.”

  She sniffled a few times before she answered. “I know, but I still wish I knew the purpose for all of this, for everything I’m going through. I just don’t understand any of it, Tim. I swear I don’t.”

  “Shhh, don’t swear. Just trust Him. He says we shouldn’t lean to our own understanding. His ways are not our ways and his─”

  “His thoughts are not our thoughts,” she finished. “But it still doesn’t make me feel any better. I feel like my heart is about to burst wide open. Those folks act like they want to see me dead.”

  “Well, those folks,” Tim repeated, “are not going to get the satisfaction. Believe that.”

  Francesca looked at her husband. “You’re a Godsend. I don’t know how I would have made it this far without you.”

  Tim smiled and quickly leaned over and pecked her on the cheek.

  ◊

  Sister Josie walked into the apartment to a stoic and quiet Pastor. “What’s wrong? I saw Stiles and what looked like your daughter leaving a few minutes ago. Is everything all right over here?”

  Pastor nodded.

  “Chauncey, I know you. And you don’t look right. What is it?” she asked.

  “Nothing. Everything’s fine. The kids and I had some things we had to clear up. Everything is done and over with. Nothing for you to worry about.”

  “Well, I am worried because you don’t look right. Is your daughter okay?”

  “Josie, it’s nothing. Believe me. Everything is fine.”

  Pastor didn’t mean to tell them about Audrey’s affair, but the words spewed out before he could stop them. With Francesca down his throat and pounding him with one question after another, he couldn’t keep up the web of deceit any longer. He’d lived with the secrets of Audrey’s indiscretions for far too long. He hated that Francesca and Stiles had to find out the way that they did, but the lies were too much. He loved his wife, loved her for over thirty years, but it had never been enough for Audrey.

  When he walked in on her and Jerry in his own house that day, he wanted to commit murder. It was only by the grace and mercy of God that he didn’t. Instead he and Jerry had fought fist to fist with Audrey screaming and yelling for them to stop. Actually for him to stop pounding the life out of Jerry. Pastor’s anger had produced a crazed like maniac and a hulk like strength took over. The only thing that stopped him from killing Jerry back then was Audrey. When she hollered that she was pregnant, it threw him into shock and his hands seemed to stop in mid-air.

  Audrey didn’t hide her feelings back then. She made it clear that it was Jerry she loved, Jerry she wanted to be with. She wanted to have his love child. But Jerry didn’t want anything to do with her or the child she was carrying. But it was too late for Audrey. She was forced to go through the pregnancy because she was too far along in her pregnancy to have an abortion.

  The pregnancy was harsh on Audrey and even the labor was long. Pastor tried to support her while he was going through his own personal torment. He had no one to turn to, so he endured the pain of his wife’s blatant infidelity in silence. Knowing full well that she was carrying another man’s baby almost killed him.

  Audrey was to blame for the decisions she’d made back then, and from the time Francesca entered the world, she had raised her at a distance. She never really bore an attachment to the child.

  Pastor wanted to ignore the truth, tried hard to ignore the truth, and he succeeded to a point by keeping busy with whatever was going on at Holy Rock. As time passed, he immersed himself more and more into church business, and spent as much time as he could building up the church while his family structure slowly crumbled.

  “I’m going back home. I see you’re not in the mood for company.”

  Pastor looked up like he was just stepping into the room. “I’m sorry, Josie. I guess my mind drifted off for a moment. You don’t have to go.”

  “No, I just came over to make sure you were okay. You hadn’t said anything about your daughter coming to town, so I was just concerned when I saw her and Stiles.”

  “Thanks for caring about me,” he said, his voice fading away.

  Josie brushed her lips against his. “I’ll be back in time for Judge Judy,” she said and then turned to leave. “And don’t bother getting up, I’ll lock the door behind me.”

  “Thanks, Josie. I’ll see you in a couple of hours.”

  Pastor went to his bedroom, and sat in the chair next to the window. From his bedroom chair, he could see the family of birds and squirrels that had claimed the massive oak tree as their home. He stared outside, and began to reminisce about how he had fallen in love with Audrey almost instantly. The day she strolled into Holy Rock was forever etched in his mind and stamped on his heart. It was that deep, abiding love that he had for her that made him forgive her. Adding insult to injury, when tests proved that he was not Francesca’s biological father, it was another blow he took to his heart, but yet again he couldn’t see himself being parted from his dear beloved Audrey.

  ◊

  Upstairs in his study, Stiles tried to drown out everything that had happened out of his mind. He turned on his IPod and the music blasted from the iPod speakers. The first song that came on was “For Every Mountain” one of the songs on Sunday Best Winner Amber Bullock’s debut album. I’ve got so much to thank God for. So many wonderful blessings…

  Stiles didn’t want to admit it, didn’t want to think it, but somehow the human part of him, the man part of him, the fleshly part of him, questioned how he could give God praise when all around his world was crumbling.

  21

  “All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else.” Mae West

  Rena was thrilled about the way her life was unfolding. Her marriage to Robert was picture perfect. They had recently found out through an ultrasound that Rena was not carrying one baby, but two. She couldn’t believe that she was actually carrying twins. Twin girls at that. It was a welcoming surprise.

  Her first trimester had been fairly easy, and now she was going into her second without any complications. She’d been following doctor’s orders to the letter, being careful to heed to everything that would increase the chances of giving birth
to two healthy babies.

  She’d experienced only one outbreak since the pregnancy. It had been troubling to Rena at first, but Robert tried to convince her that the babies would be just fine. Right away, she called and made an appointment with her OB/GYN. She was not about to do anything that would compromise the health of her babies.

  “Mrs. Becton, I understand your concern about transmitting the disease to your babies, but I told you, please don’t worry,” the doctor stated. “I need you to take care of yourself during this pregnancy. You’re carrying twins, and that’s enough added pressure, strain and stress on you.

  Remember that I told you that it is rare for expecting mothers who have recurrent genital herpes to transmit it to their babies. I’m not saying that it’s one hundred percent, but I’m saying it’s rare. And also,” the doctor said, “because you’ve had the disease for some time now, you have a natural protection formed from antibodies,” she patiently explained to Rena once again. “Those antibodies are in your bloodstream. They connect with the placenta and move on to the fetus which in turn helps to protect your babies from the disease. So, please, let your body do what it was designed to do. Okay?”

  Rena nodded and so did Robert. He put his arm around her shoulder.

  “Stress and worry isn’t good for you, or the babies. Period.”

  “That’s what I keep telling her, doc,” Robert interjected.

  “Listen to your husband, Mrs. Becton. Stress and worry can also increase the chance of outbreaks. Your body is going through a lot right now. So much happens when a woman becomes pregnant. But you can do this, Mrs. Becton. You can make it through this. And I’m with you all the way.”