44: Book Two

by Jools Sinclair

  I had made it back from death to be with him.

  And it took me nearly a year to figure out that he wasn’t even here.

  My phone buzzed. It was Kate, calling to let me know she would be home for dinner.

  A heavy surge of sadness rushed through me as I walked back to the car. The engine started along with Adele, always willing to share my sorrow.

  CHAPTER 3

  The house was hot and stuffy when I got home. I threw down my bag and flipped on the air conditioning. After taking a quick shower, I headed to the kitchen.

  I had started cooking a few months ago after getting hooked on the Food Network. At first I made simple things, like steak and mashed potatoes and omelets and spaghetti. But then I went to the library and checked out cookbooks and started trying more complicated recipes. Lately, most of the dinners turned out pretty well.

  There was something special about cooking, about chopping onions and fresh Italian parsley and smelling the different spices. Florence and the Machine sautéed on the stereo while I did the same thing to the garlic. The sweet aroma flooded the house.

  I read over the recipe once more, double checking that I hadn’t missed anything before putting the glass dish into the oven. Then I sat at the counter skimming over other recipes in the cookbook and looking out the window. After about half an hour, I peeked in at the chicken parmesan penne bake. It was bubbling and almost done.

  I was trying to do more things around the house to help out. Kate was still a little mad about the river guide job and I was hoping that the dinners would help smooth things over.

  “Christ, Abby, couldn’t you have just found a summer job serving coffee or something?” she had said when I told her that I had been hired. “I mean, seriously. Why would someone with your history do something like that? I totally don’t understand.”

  She had a point. It wasn’t logical and maybe it was even a little insane. Most drowning victims probably didn’t want to go anywhere near water ever again. And with everything Kate had gone through while I recovered, she had a right to be angry.

  But I had to do it.

  I tried to explain to her why I liked being on the river every day. I told her that sometimes I didn’t understand it either, but that the dark lake where I drowned had taken something from me and being on the river allowed me to take back some of what I had lost.

  “Forget it, Abby. I’m putting my foot down on this,” she had said, her eyes wild.

  She must have been thinking I was still a kid or something.

  I took the job anyway. She didn’t speak to me for a few days, but after a little while she let it go. She still didn’t like it, but at least we didn’t fight about it anymore. Sometimes I felt guilty. I didn’t like for her to worry. But it was where I belonged.

  “Smells amazing in here,” Kate yelled as she dropped her keys on the entryway table.

  “Hey, Kate.”

  Her heels clicked quickly towards the kitchen across the wood floor.

  “Can’t wait to eat,” she said, patting my shoulder on her way to the fridge.

  She swung open the wide door and stared inside for a long time before grabbing a small bottle of water.

  As always, she looked great even after working all day. Her hair had been growing out and was pulled up loosely on top of her head.

  “Good day?” I asked, closing the cookbook.

  She drained half the bottle.

  “Eh,” she said. “That trial is long and boring. It’s hard to sit on those uncomfortable benches for hours and then head back to the paper and write up the story for deadline. But I guess it’s coming along. I’m hoping they’ll wrap up next week. How ‘bout you? Good day?”

  “Yeah, it was good,” I said.

  She slid off her shoes.

  “What are we having, by the way?”

  “One should never ask,” I said, quoting from a favorite movie. “It spoils the surprise.”

  “Thanks, Hannibal. Guess I’ll just have to wait to see then.”

  I got up and checked on dinner after she left. A nice, crusty brown layer had formed on top so I pulled it out of the oven.

  I served the penne on fancy white dinner plates with gold rims and put them out on the table with a bottle of white wine and a corkscrew. Kate appeared a minute later in sweats and a T-shirt and sat down.

  “This looks great,” she said, inhaling the thick steam rising up.

  She took the freshly-grated parmesan cheese I had put out and sprinkled some on the pasta while I uncorked the wine and poured her a glass. I served myself some sparkling water.

  “To the chef,” she said and we toasted our glasses together.

  She took a bite.

  “Delicious.”

  I agreed. It was really good. The flavors had come together nicely.

  Within a few minutes she had finished and sat back in the chair.

  “Want some more?” I asked.

  “No, let’s see if that holds,” she said. “But thanks. It’s really nice coming home to this. You’ve sure become quite the cook.”

  After a few minutes, we headed over to the living room and turned on the TV. Kate flipped through the channels, stopping at a news feature on CNN about a famous old basketball player who had written a book about depression.

  “So, you had a good day?” she asked again, rubbing her face.

  “Yeah,” I said.

  “And that Ty guy? How’s he doing?”

  It wasn’t like I had talked that much about Ty to Kate or anything, but she always asked about him ever since we bumped into him at Safeway one night. She didn’t understand about Jesse.

  I could see the wheels turning in her head.

  “He’s good,” I said. “Of course, Ty’s the type who is always good.”

  “Yeah, he seems like a happy guy,” she said. “Does he have a girlfriend?”

  “No,” I said. “I think he just got out of a relationship. At least that’s what I hear him tell the girls back at the office when they throw themselves at him.”

  Kate smiled.

  “Have you thought about going out with him?”

  She did this a lot, especially lately. I knew she was concerned that I was still in love with a dead boy and wanted me to move on. There was no use in trying to explain anymore, so I kept things vague.

  “Maybe,” I said. “But everyone seems to be after Ty as it is. I don’t think I would have a chance.”

  “Nonsense. You guys would make a great couple. Why don’t you invite him over for one of your dinners?”

  “That seems a little crazy.”

  She threw her feet up on the coffee table and stared at the ceiling. I watched the gray waves dance around her.

  That was one thing I had gotten really good at this past year. I was able to see other people’s moods, see how they were really feeling inside. Now I saw everybody’s energy all the time, whether they were friends, bosses, or strangers I passed on the street. Those waves were just a part of them, attached like their sweaters or jackets or faces. It was overwhelming and draining after a while.

  But sometimes it was good information to have. Like with the tourists in my raft. I liked knowing if they were feeling scared or cocky or bored. The energy I saw didn’t lie.

  And, of course, I didn’t mind seeing them around the people I knew, like Kate.

  But I had to be careful, especially with her. She didn’t exactly like it, me knowing how she felt about everything. So I was quiet, never saying much about what I saw and waiting until she was ready to talk to me.

  Kate flipped through the channels again.

  “Oh, I got a message from Ben today.”

  Dr. Ben Mortimer had brought me back to life after I died. Kate dated him while I was recovering. But when I started having visions about his brother Nathaniel killing people, everything went to hell.

  Nathaniel had murdered four people in Bend. He of course didn’t see it that way. They had been sacrificed for the greater good. He sa
id he had invented an antidote that when injected into people who had just died, could bring them back to life. Nathaniel told me he had given me the serum after I had been declared dead at the hospital. He said that I was his first and only success.

  Although we confronted Nathaniel one snowy night at Dr. Mortimer’s house, he escaped and left Bend without ever facing murder charges. But he told me he would be back for me. He said he would need me to continue his research.

  We hadn’t heard from Nathaniel since that night, and no one knew where he was. He had resigned from his job back East and had vanished into thin air.

  Kate never forgave Dr. Mortimer for letting Nathaniel get away. They broke up shortly after and she had barely spoken to him since.

  “What did Dr. Mortimer say?” I asked.

  “He wants to see us.”

  Her energy changed, moving quickly and turning into deep blacks and bright whites. It was always like that when she talked about him. She was surrounded by wild, turbulent waves that I guessed was love, and also hate. It made me a little sad, watching the intense emotions swell up around her.

  Unlike Kate, I still kept in touch with Dr. Mortimer through emails and phone calls. Once in a while I even stopped by the hospital and visited him during his breaks, just to say hi.

  Kate was angry because Dr. Mortimer had suspected his brother was killing people for his medical experiments long before we had put it together. She believed that if Dr. Mortimer had stopped him when he first realized what was going on, his last victim might still be alive.

  Over the past year I tried talking to her about it and tried to get her to see things from his perspective. And it seemed like that was never going to happen. But just when I thought that she would never speak to him again, she started answering his emails. They were still an ocean away from each other emotionally, though. And now that she was with Colin, I doubted they would ever get back together.

  “So have you talked to Ben lately?” Kate asked.

  It didn’t bother her that I still talked to him. In fact, she told me that I should, that Dr. Mortimer saved my life and that he was a real friend. He was someone I could always count on.

  “Maybe a month ago.”

  “He wants to take us out to dinner,” she said. “But I don’t know. Maybe you two should just go. I don’t see the point of me going.”

  I flashed back on the Thanksgiving we had a few years back, how he came over and how everyone was so happy. I really missed him. He was still like family.

  “Kind of weird to invite us out like that, all of a sudden,” I said. “Do you think something has happened?”

  Kate yawned as she pulled down the blanket from the back of the sofa, wrapping it around her. I had left the air conditioning on high while I was cooking and now the house was too cold. I got up and adjusted the thermostat.

  “I don’t know, yeah, maybe,” she said. “I actually talked to him on the phone. Probably gave him a heart attack, picking up like that. I can’t remember the last time we spoke. But he seemed pretty happy, so I don’t think it’s too serious.”

  “Gosh, you think? You mean he was actually happy that you talked to him after a year?”

  She smiled at me and kicked my foot.

  “Don’t be snide,” she said. “Besides, it hasn’t been a year. I saw him at that hospital charity thing in the spring. Anyway, I’m hoping that he has some good news. You know. About him.”

  We always avoided saying Nathaniel’s name out loud.

  “Yeah,” I said.

  Since Nathaniel had fled, Dr. Mortimer had been trying to find him, although so far he hadn’t had any luck. I believed him when he told us that he would search the world for his brother, but I could tell Kate still had her doubts. She said it was just human nature to protect family and while she understood that, she expected more from him.

  “You can’t protect a killer,” she had said often.

  And she was right. But, while he may have hesitated at first, I didn’t think Dr. Mortimer was doing that now.

  Maybe he was worried about her getting too serious with Colin. Last time I saw him, he asked me about their relationship.

  “I guess there could be news,” I said.

  Kate was quiet for a moment.

  “Would you mind just going by yourself? I don’t know if I can face him quite yet.”

  “Come on,” I said. “You should come too. It’s really not such a big deal. It’s just a dinner.”

  And he did save my life, I thought. It seemed to me like we owed him. She sighed, like she had read my mind.

  “Okay. You’re right. No big deal.”

  “Good. And don’t worry. I’ll provide the sparkling conversation.”

  “It’s going to be a long night then.”

  Kate was always joking about my conversation skills because I essentially had none. While she would walk into a room full of strangers and have a dozen new friends on her Facebook account within an hour, I would be in the corner petting the cat. We were different like that. I didn’t even have a Facebook account.

  I wasn’t sure if my awkward social skills were because of the accident or not. When I came back from being dead, a lot of people started treating me different. They thought I was a freak, blessed and cursed at the same time. And living in a small city, my story had gotten around. It felt like everybody knew about what had happened. They would stare at me with large eyes, suspicious of where I had been when I had died and what I had seen.

  But it was finally getting better. In the last few months a veil had lifted and I was becoming more comfortable with who I was. People were leaving me alone too. It helped that I was free from high school. Away from old friends who I now scared or who just hated me.

  “Yeah, okay,” Kate said. “We’ll do dinner. Can you go next Friday? We can meet up after work over at the The Old Mill.”

  “Sure.”

  I was happy she decided to come.

  After he had escaped, I promised that I would always tell Kate about any new visions. And I kept that promise. Since the college instructor, I never had another one of Nathaniel killing anyone.

  But I did have feelings about him sometimes, especially as I drifted off to sleep. Murky and dark, like he was watching from far away. I knew he was out there somewhere, lying low, still working on his research. I figured that as long as he was far away, I didn’t have to tell anyone. There was no use stirring all that up again.

  “Okay, I’ll let Ben know,” Kate said.

  “Good.”

  It was silly, but I was kind of excited that we were all going to be together again.

  It had been a long time.

  CHAPTER 4

  It felt great to be able to play soccer again.

  To be out on the field, kicking a ball toward goal was one of the best feelings in the world. Those terrible memories of sitting on the bench in my senior year and watching my varsity team play without me were slowly eroding. Dr. Mortimer had been right. My body healed. It just took time.

  It’s not like I was as good as I used to be, good enough to get a college scholarship or anything. I was just playing on a Parks and Rec team, made up mostly of 30- and 40-year-olds. There were a few people my age, but not many.

  Our games were on Tuesday and Thursday nights in the summer league, sometimes late and under the bright lights. And even though I was playing with and going up against a bunch of rec players, I was getting better. I was dribbling and scoring and we were winning. Like old times.

  And I was even making a few friends.

  I walked up to the sidelines, dropped my soccer bag down on the grass, and took out my ball.

  “How ya doing, AC?” Jack Martin asked as he walked up to me smiling.

  He usually called everyone by their initials.

  “Hey, Jack. I’m good.”

  Jack was obsessed with soccer. He played on three different teams with a game every night of the week. He loved Real Madrid and DVR’d a lot of the Spanish league game
s, inviting the team over for soccer parties on the weekends. He was friendly and outgoing, but didn’t have that insane white energy surrounding him like Ty. Everybody liked Jack and he seemed to know all the players on all the teams.

  “Another new jersey?” I said, checking my shoelaces.

  He showed off the Real Madrid shirt and then turned around, modeling it. I cringed. I was a Barcelona fan.

  “Just came today.”

  We walked to the center of the field for the kickoff. The ref blew the whistle and we started the game.

  “Give it to Abby, she’s open,” I heard Tim yell a few minutes in.

  Bree passed me the ball and I took it in and shot hard, but the goalie had time to get in position and plucked it out of the air.

  “Good try, AC,” Jack yelled from midfield.

  Some of the players were brutal. Something about rec soccer seemed to bring out the worst in some people. High school girls could be clumsy, but this was beyond that. As they worked through their issues, some of these players became aggressive and crossed lines. Mostly large, overweight men in their 40s desperate to prove something to themselves and anyone who got in their way. It was dangerous out here and I was surprised there weren’t more injuries.

  There were two of those guys on the team we were playing now. Fortunately I was a lot faster, but I still had to keep my eyes open and watch my back.

  As I ran back, I noticed Kate and Colin were standing on the sidelines. It made me happy to see her there, watching me play. She waved and I waved back.

  At the half, we were tied 0-0. Jack walked with me and I introduced him to my sister and her boyfriend.

  “She’s a great player,” Jack said before leaving to get water.

  Kate smiled.

  “Wow, Abby. I still can’t believe you’re playing again. I love being out here watching you,” Kate said.

  “Thanks for coming,” I said. “You too, Colin.”

  He nodded.

  Colin was always a little shy around me and usually didn’t say too much. I could tell that he was uncomfortable too. I figured Kate told him my story and it made him nervous. But at least he didn’t ask any questions.