The Broken Girl (Lonely Girl Book 2)

by Wilson, Gracie

  “I don’t want to feel like this anymore.” If Jake doesn’t want me, and the Keegan I love is gone, then why bother. If they are both like this, I’m better off lonely and broken.

  Chapter Seventeen

  It’s been two weeks. I haven’t so much as talked to Jake or Keegan. They have kept their distance, which I think hurts more. I know I said to stay away but I thought they would try at least. Instead I see them laughing and talking with friends as if they didn’t just break me into a million tiny shards. They’ve looked at me but I always turn and look away. Alec eventually dropped the questions and gave up. It’s not hard to believe that my love life is really that screwed up. He didn’t like that I wouldn’t hang out with him and his friends anymore. I made a joke about dating another one of them and he dropped it. Telling him it is time I live away from them all and get my own friends was really freeing.

  It was the most heart-shattering thing I’ve ever done. Not knowing what is going on in Jake and Keegan’s life is unbearable but there is just too much damage done. Meeting girls from the dorm was awesome. They were all about having fun but keeping out of trouble. Until tonight, which I knew if my brother or Charlotte knew about, they’d be pissed.

  Standing in front of my mirror, I feel like I’m not Bec or Becca anymore. For tonight, I’m not. I’m Larissa Cole. At least that’s what my fake ID says. The girls thought it would be fun to play dress-up with Becca. I’m wearing six inch silver stilettos and a red short dress that I swear is cutting my breathing off.

  “Damn girl, where were you hiding that body of yours?” I turn and see Nicky standing at the door. She is taller than me and curvy in all the right sort of places. Her hair is jet black and curly.

  “I don’t know, maybe I just didn’t have a reason to flaunt it.” I am trying to be the new confident, Becca.

  “No, you had no reason to get all dolled up with those boys from the team chasing you, but tonight it’s all about new prospects.” Lily has arrived at my door as well. She has chestnut brown hair with blonde streaks and has a body a runway model would kill for. She also doesn’t work for it. She eats more than any girl I have every seen and just spouts some crap about a great metabolism.

  “Come on, bitch. It’s game time.” They say in unison. I laugh at them. “Let’s go, bitches.”

  When we arrive at the club, my confidence has gone down. Lilly seems to pick up on it. “Don’t worry, we will get right in and get you some liquid courage.” We walk up to the bouncer who takes our IDs. He barely looks at them. Instead he is just looking at us in our outfits and nods us in.

  “He only takes the IDs to check them to cover his ass. He’d let us in if it was my grandma’s ID.” Nicky is all about the truth. She doesn’t sugar coat anything, which I find pretty awesome. Looking around the club, it’s not what I’ve expected. It doesn’t seem to have endless possibilities. Really, it is just four walls with some fancy lights and a DJ. I hear a familiar laugh and I don’t have to turn around to know it’s Jake.

  “Drink time,” I say to the girls and they cheer, hauling me off to the side bar.

  “What can I get you ladies?” The bartender asks what we’d like; I don’t wait for the girls to answer before I order. “Nine shots of Tequila.” I hand him money and he starts pouring our shots. I take the first one and down it.

  “Come on now, don’t make me do them alone.” Nicky just laughs while Lily is shaking her head. Nicky grabs one and down it goes like nothing.

  “Lily doesn’t do tequila.” I look to Lily hoping for some explanation.

  “Tequila makes my clothes come off and it’s too early for that shit.” I laugh and grab my other two shots and down they go. It burns but I’m using this to keep my mind off the group behind us. I don’t want to think about Jake or Keegan tonight, that was the deal. Nicky grabs her two and downs them; I look to Lily and smile.

  “Last chance.” She shakes her head, laughing. “More for me,” I say, then drink the last two shots.

  “Dance time!” I cheer. They both giggle and agreed. Not before we each have another drink to take with us though. I’m not even sure what mine is but it’s fruity and yummy. I make my way into the middle of the dance floor, making sure I’m covered so Jake won’t see me. Not that I’d care if he said something. I just don’t want him to make me leave. Tonight is about my fun and having it my way.

  The music is pounding through the speakers and the bass makes the floor vibrate up through my shoes. A few guys have come up to me but I just wasn’t into it and told them I was out with the girls tonight. The lights are spinning and I’m feeling great. I’m not tanked but I have an awesome buzz going on. My drink needs to be filled again so I take off to the bar, leaving the girls on the dance floor with guys flocking towards them. I laugh as I walk away.

  As I approach the bar, I don’t even think about where I am. I’m all about the fun right now. The bartender gives me the same thing I’ve been getting all night, which I found out is called a jolly rancher. I decide to hang out at the bar for a bit before returning to the maze on the dance floor.

  “Hey, what’s your name and can I buy you a drink?” He sounds cocky. I turn around to find Jake and Keegan standing next to this guy who I have seen around. I know he plays hockey with them. Keegan and Jake’s back are turned to me so they don’t see who he’s talking to. “Wait a minute… aren’t you Potts’ sister?” With that, both Keegan and Jake spin around to find me standing here trapped.

  Before they even get a word out, I turn to the bartender. “Two shots of tequila.” He pours them for me and I down them. I don’t even feel the burning anymore. I turn to leave but Keegan and Jake are standing in my way. “What are you doing here, Becca?” Jake says.

  “It’s neither of your business what I do or where I go. Now, if you will excuse me. My new friends who aren’t interested in fucking with my heart are dancing and I’m going to join them.” I go to step around them and they both get in my way, causing me to bump into a guy I recognize as the teacher’s assistant for Charlotte’s English class.

  “You’re not going anywhere but out that door with us, Bec,” Keegan says. “He’s right. Fun time is over, Becca,” Jake adds.

  “I don’t believe I’d asked for your permission.” I go to leave and I notice that the guy I bumped into is watching me. So I get brave and spiteful.

  “Hey, do you happen to play hockey?” He looks puzzled.

  “No.”

  I smile. “Well, if the way you’re looking at me is any indication of interest, how about we dance?” He smirks at me and takes my hand, guiding me out to the dance floor. We end up next to Lily and Nicky who give me the thumbs-up.

  “I’m Tracey,” he says.

  “Becca,” I add. He smiles and puts his hands on my waist moving against me to the music. After a few songs I’ve somehow loosened up and am now turned around with my backside grinding into his front. I look up, seeing Keegan and Jake staring at me. Jake is on the phone and he doesn’t look happy. Great, they are probably calling my brother or Charlotte.

  I’d forgotten I was dancing with Tracey until his lips graze my neck. I see Keegan and Jake glare this way and I know it won’t be long before they start over here. I motion for Lily and Nicky to come to me and they do.

  “See those two guys? Those are my old boyfriends. Distract them so I can get out of here.” They nod and Nicky gives me a wink.

  I turn to Tracey. “Want to get out of here?” His face lights up as if he just won the jackpot. I’m not really sure what I meant by what I said. At this point, I can’t screw things up any more. Linking arms with Tracey, I maneuver us out the side entrance and he waves down a cab. We quickly get in and set off. I’m assuming it is towards his place.

  As soon as we pull up, his lips are on me. I don’t even get a chance to take in my surroundings, but instead of doing the Becca thing and overthink things. I say screw it. I give him everything I have, causing him to gasp at my willingness. I am always trying to do ever
ything right in my life, so maybe it’s time to try something wrong. We somehow make it inside of his building and he fumbles with his keys. As soon as his door is open, we are inside. His mouth hasn’t left mine. I want to say it’s hot and amazing but it nothing compared to my more recent kisses.

  I hear the door shut behind us and before I know it, we are crashing into his bed. His shirt is gone and I feel his skin against me. He brings his hands up my back, undoing the zipper of my dress. It slides off easy, exposing the black Victoria’s Secret set Charlotte had told me was to die for. He seems to agree because I hear his belt buckle undo and his pants are now off. All that’s left is his boxers. I try to pace things but his hands are all over me. He’s just about to slip his hands into my panties when I hear a noise. “Get the hell off of her right now.”

  Tracey jumps back, leaving me exposed on the bed. I rush to wrap his blanket around me. Alec and Drake are staring at me. “Oh shit.” I say.

  “Yeah, Becca. Oh shit is right. Time to go.” I shake my head, not really wanting to stay but definitely not wanting to deal with my severely pissed off brother.

  “Alec, no. Drake, take him home.” Drake shakes his head at me and I know I’m all alone in this one.

  “I don’t know what’s going on here but it isn’t anything she didn’t want. It was her idea to leave the club.” Ugh, thanks, Tracey. I could have lived without my brother knowing that.

  “That is my sister and she’s leaving,” Alec says.

  “She looks grown up enough to me to make her own choices and I don’t think Becca wants to leave.” Oh, this guy is going to end up getting his ass kicked.

  “Did my very grown up sister also tell you she is only eighteen?” Tracey turns to me, looking shocked, and I just shrug.

  “I didn’t know but it’s still not a big deal. She’s still an adult. She’s hot and I’m not making her leave.”

  “We aren’t asking buddy. Becca, Alec will either walk out of here with you or he will drag your drunk ass out of here,” Drake replies.

  “Seriously, you both are killing my buzz. Fine, clearly next time I have to go out of town if I want to get any.” I throw the blankets off me and grab my dress, slipping it back on and zipping it up. Grabbing my shoes, I just glare at Alec and Drake. I turn and walk up to Tracey and kiss him. He responds and I hear my brother growl.

  “Now, Becca,” Drake says.

  “Thanks for some fun, Tracey.” I smirk at him before stalking out of the apartment.

  It isn’t until I am walking out the front that I realize this is Keegan’s apartment building. Once I clear the bushes I see Keegan and Jake standing there waiting.

  “Thanks for ratting me out. Clearly unless I’m screwing one of you, you can’t keep your damn mouths shut.” I know it’s the alcohol talking but I don’t care at this point. I don’t stop and continue walking right across the street to my brother’s house. Charlotte is standing at the door wide eyed.

  “Yeah, I’m not doing this right now, Charlotte.”

  She just laughs and shakes her head at me. “Becca, I don’t have to say anything. You are going to have one hell of a hang over tomorrow.”

  I laugh. “Hey, I’m okay with that. I had some free no strings fun tonight. Can’t beat that, can you?

  “Really, so that’s who you are now?” I turn and see that Keegan and Jake have followed me back here with Alec and Drake.

  “You both destroyed me. You don’t get to judge me on how I put myself back together. It doesn’t matter who I am, Jake. I am an adult and will do what I want.” He just shakes his head.

  “Yeah, I saw that tonight. How’d it feel with some random guy taking you home?”

  I feel as though he slapped me. “A lot better than when my best friend broke my heart.”

  “Guys, let’s not do this right now,” Drake says.

  “Just everyone cool down.” Alec shakes his head. “Man, I’m done being a referee. Maybe what they need is a good fight where no one is afraid to say the wrong thing.” Oddly, my brother makes sense or it may just be the tequila.

  “Bec, what the hell where you thinking? Getting drunk like that and then going home with Tracey?” I’m shocked that he knows his name, only making this slightly embarrassing to my drunken brain.

  “I wanted to have some fun… you know what that’s like right, Key? At least I stayed out of the party favors.” Keegan looks hurt and nervous but I don’t stop. “What I do and who I do it with is no one’s business but my own. Got it?”

  Jake is just shaking his head. “The hell it is, Bec. You can’t just screw around because you want to or because you want to get back at us.”

  Who the hell does he think he is? “My screwing had nothing to do with you two. Unbeknownst to you two, my love life or sexual life doesn’t revolve around you.”

  “Apparently it revolves around whatever guy gives you attention.” Keegan says.

  “Really let’s not talk about attention seekers right now. Why don’t you go fuck Sarah some more? She’s always looking for some screwing around isn’t she… or wait, better yet, why don’t you fuck me and call me her again cause that was one hell of a time.”

  Keegan’s face goes bright red. “I’m done with this shit. I’m leaving.”

  He goes to walk out and I yell at him. “At least this time you’re leaving me awake, better than last time isn’t it, Keegan.” He stops for a second but then continues out the door.

  “What the hell was that about, Becca?” Alec asks. “Nope, I’m not talking about it some things in my life are not your business.” I’m not drunk enough for this conversation.

  “The hell it isn’t.” Alec replies.

  “God, Alec, you’re fucking with my buzz. Just stop, okay? For once I wasn’t trying to screw one of your friends, so be happy about that.” Alec winces and I know I went too far, not only throwing Keegan and Jake in his face, but Michael too.

  “Guys, let me talk to Becca for a minute,” Jake says.

  I look to Drake, Alec, and Charlotte, hoping for some help but they don’t look impressed enough right now to save me from this awkwardness. They all leave and head to the basement.

  “I’m leaving,” I say.

  “No, you’re not leaving until you talk to me, Beckers.”

  I snap. “Don’t call me that any more, Jake. I’m nothing. Remember you said goodbye? You don’t get to be all ‘Beckers’ now.”

  “I lied to you, Becca.”

  Woah, what?

  He sees my confusion and continues. “I was an idiot and I didn’t want to lose you so I ended it first. I pushed and pushed because I figured you’d go back to Keegan and I’d be without you.”

  My heart stops. “You did what?” I ask.

  “Sending you away was because I didn’t want to let you in and then lose you. It’s enough losing you as my best friend but losing you, and not having all of you? That’s just too much.”

  Jake wants to be with me or he had wanted to. “Becca, I did something I regret.”

  My heart jumps up to my throat. “What did you do, Jake?”

  Seeing his eyes, I know this is going to crush me. “I slept with someone. I’d been drinking and she was there. It didn’t mean anything.” With that, any of the warm feeling I was having for Jake vanished.

  “Well, go do some more things that don’t mean anything. If I meant anything to you that wouldn’t have happened!”

  Jake’s face turns rigid and I can see him getting angry. “So, wait. You tell Keegan you can do what you want, but we can’t?” I know he has a point but my heart and brain aren’t connected.

  I scream. “I only hooked up tonight because you broke my fucking heart Jake. You said goodbye not one but three times. I may not remember one of them but, trust me, the two I remember did enough damage. Now you say you did it to protect your heart. Well dumb fucking move. My heart was always yours, but now it never will be.”

  “CHARLOTTE!” I scream. She comes running up the stairs. “I’m l
eaving and I’m not sleeping here. I doubt I’m going to be ‘allowed’ to leave alone. So either come with me or tie me down because that’s the only two options you have.

  “Okay, let’s get you out of here.” Thank god for Charlotte and knowing what I really need.

  We grab her bag, leaving with Jake just standing with his mouth wide open in shock.

  “Now it’s my turn to say goodbye, Jake.”

  Chapter Eighteen

  Jake hasn’t stopped calling my phone or texting me. They are all apologies. I only sent one message back. Telling him I just needed some space. What I wanted to say was goodbye but my heart just couldn’t do it. He never wrote me after that message today. Jake is hurting, and I get that pain. No need to add salt to the wound. Keegan hasn’t so much as looked at me. Sarah and him are close again. That’s about all I noticed and it made my stomach turn. They deserve each other. Charlotte never said anything about what happened. I never talked about it with Nicky and Lily. To top it off it’s exam time so I’m studying and have no social life. Not that I could even handle one right now. I was working in the library most the time but Jake always seemed to be there. I’ve now started hiding in my dorm, studying. Over-studying is a true fact. I feel like I may be bordering that right now, but with my mind in a book I don’t have the energy to feel everything from the last few weeks.

  There is a knock at my door and I take my time getting up. It’s either Drake or Charlotte. They have been ‘popping’ in to check on me. Charlotte hasn’t told Drake yet, but we have talked about it. I am going to leave. My art program for the summer starts right after exams finish and I’m ready to get out of here for a while. When I open my door, all thoughts leave my head.

  “Please don’t shut the door.” Standing in front of me is a disheveled Jake. His hair is a mess but still very Jake and sexy. But something about him is off. He’s not confident or vibrant. He looks like he hasn’t slept in days.

  “Jake? Are you okay?” I ask because something isn’t right here. This isn’t the Jake I know.