Falling For Fear (A Grim Awakening Book 4)

by Michelle Gross

  I tilted my head. There was the sound again... it almost sounded like voices. I glared. “Are you messing with me?” I asked him.

  He gazed down at my body again with a lustful grin. “Not yet.”

  There’s no way I could ever handle someone else touching me after Ryan… I shuddered. I sighed and shook my head. “I hear something,” I grumbled.

  He studied me curiously and pulled me into him. I stiffened. The voices were louder now though, and my eyes traveled over him and widened when I noticed the necklace. A green three-dimensional diamond rested against his chest. It shimmered with a very powerful spell.

  Hmm, what was so important that he kept it around his neck…

  “Like what you see?” he asked, and I suppressed a snort. “Easy, Molly, just because I’m being nice now doesn’t mean it won’t change. Who do you think I created Fear from? I can sense your moods. I see everything, and I know everything that goes on in the Underworld and human world.” Was he bragging about being Satan? I didn’t say anything in hopes that he would just shut up. I stepped further away from him once we were out of the stairway.

  This was the very place I delivered Melanie to him all those years ago, only one could never be too sure as to what the room really looked like. It constantly shifted and changed with the Devil’s mood. Right now, it was empty and soulless.

  “What? No throne?” I couldn’t help but say.

  “I’m not Marcus.” His eyes flickered with mayhem. “I don’t need something to prove my power,” he claimed. He grabbed my arm suddenly and I jumped. “Everyone knows I’m in charge down here.”

  “Then why can’t you just let Fear and Ryan be?”

  He lifted his hand and rubbed one of his horns casually. “Because he’s making Fear weak.”

  “He’s not weak.” I glared.

  “Am I going to have a problem with you convincing Fear?” he asked. I gripped my fists and blinked a few times until I was calmer. Just put up with him for now… “I may have disliked Marcus but at least with him, Fear had been a true monster. The things he’d do were downright wicked. If only Marcus hadn’t been consumed by his need for more power… anyway, my entities were created to cause problems and disrupt the human world. The more it’s tainted, the quicker I rise.”

  “Wow,” I whistled. “That’s something to look forward to.”

  “Play along and I might keep you around to see the day I crawl out of Hell and destroy what Heaven tries so hard to protect.” The smile on his face was disturbing.

  “I don’t see what the point is,” I said, shrugging my shoulders.

  His eyebrows pinched together. “You might not understand but I do.” He laughed then stopped abruptly. “It’s show time.” He pulled me into him. “Our guests are here already.”

  I tensed from his words and looked around the room anxiously.

  “You got here sooner than I expected,” the Devil said. “Most can’t even find my place.”

  Melanie and Grim faded across the room from us, followed by Fear who ported. Melanie was the first to speak, “Have you forgotten that I’ve been here before?” She smiled.

  The Devil pulled me close, piercing my side with his claws. I knew it was a warning to play my part. I placed my hand on his chest. “I don’t see how you were able to find it just because you’ve been here before,” he told her.

  “There’s a lot of things you don’t know I can do,” said Melanie.

  “And that’s the very reason I tried to get rid of you.” The Devil groaned. “I knew you’d be a pain in my ass.”

  “Let her go,” Fear growled.

  His tail shot forward but stopped inches in front of us when the Devil said, “She belongs with me now, right Molly?” He looked at me.

  “For now,” I mumbled and his claws pressed further into my flesh. I winced. “Until someone better comes along,” I added. He smiled, pleased with my response and looked back to Fear.

  Fear’s tail backed away. Fear ate on emotions to survive. He read my lies. Without a doubt, he at least had an idea of what was going on. I was confident I could outplay the Devil as long as he wasn’t thinking about Fear’s ability like I was.

  Fear straightened his back and stepped toward us. “I know what she wants,” he said, eyeing the Devil with mockery. “And you are not it.”

  “Neither are you,” the Devil retorted then proceeded to smile afterward. I felt him shift and change next to me. I looked up and tried to back away from him. “But I can be whoever she wants me to be.” The Devil wore Ryan’s handsome face. “Ryan will never forgive you but I can look like him while I bury myself inside you.”

  Fear’s tail was around my body the next second, jerking me from the Devil’s grasp. A sword materialized in Fear’s hand right as he attacked the Devil who blocked it with his hand alone. He tilted his head at Fear and said, “You keep forgetting who created you and the reason why you were created.”

  “Things change.” Fear pressed his weight into the sword trying to get it to move. “Even monsters like me can change but don’t worry, I’ll never stop killing… it just won’t ever be the way you want it to be.”

  The Devil’s—Ryan’s face darkened with anger. “I know. I made you, Jackal, and Harvest so that you’d always need a certain something to survive in this world, trying to deny yourself that would only turn you into a bigger monster.” I was slung in the air by Fear’s tail as the Devil threw him backward. “I won’t allow you to merge with Ryan again,” the Devil hissed shifting back into his true form. Fear safely planted me back on my feet and released me from his tail before it slid back behind him. He walked toward the Devil again.

  “Where’s Ryan?” Grim asked, and for a second I had forgotten they were here too.

  “The stairway,” I yelled, and that got the Devil’s attention. His piercing red eyes, so similar to Fear’s, turned toward me.

  “You really don’t care what happens to Ryan, do you?” he asked right before he disappeared.

  I looked around desperately, the panic was hitting me like waves. “Fear,” I screamed but he was already next to me, taking my hands in the oddest, yet sweetest gesture that made the panic hit me harder. “He’s going after Ryan.”

  “I’m right here,” Ryan called out, and I turned to the sound of his voice. I smiled in relief as my feet moved but Fear’s hand shot out to stop me.

  “That’s not Ryan,” he told me as his eyes fixated on Ryan. It was the Devil? Of course, it was. My hope deflated. Ryan was still locked in a cell.

  “It’s really me,” he promised, stepping closer. “Melanie just helped me out of the cell.”

  “Stop the games,” Fear hissed.

  “Come here, Molly,” this overly sweet Ryan whispered. I lifted my hands to Fear’s arm and gripped it tight. “We don’t need Fear.” The real Ryan still hadn’t forgiven me.

  “Like hell, she’d believe that,” that had to be the real Ryan that yelled as he moved out of the stairway with Melanie. She must have released him while the Devil had been distracted. I smiled.

  The Devil sighed before switching back to his true face again. He rubbed his horn. “You guys aren’t very entertaining.” He looked around at all of us. “Neither of them are leaving this place, no matter what you try.”

  Fear shoved me back as he moved for the Devil but when the Devil vanished, Fear turned back around and grabbed a hold of me. Grim faded and reappeared next to Melanie and Ryan. My eyes met Ryan’s for a passing moment then the Devil was in front of Fear and me. “I’m trying to help you,” the Devil told Fear then they were attacking each other. Fear’s tail wrapped around the Devil just as he vanished and reappeared behind him, kicking him down to the ground. Fear was only down for a second before going back at him.

  “Enough!” Melanie screamed, and they stopped and looked at her.

  “This is between us, you and Grim may go but you aren’t taking Ryan with you.” The Devil smirked. “Why don’t you try?”

  “They don’t
belong to you,” she told him.

  He chuckled and looked at her like she was foolish. “Every tainted soul belongs to me,” was the Devil’s answer.

  Melanie’s face hardened. “So, you are willing to break the very rule you created for the Underworld?”

  He studied her before turning in her direction. “Is there something you’re trying to get at?” he asked.

  “The mark,” the only two words she had to say, and I understood what she was saying. So did the Devil because he looked pissed. “Fear owns both of them, not you.”

  “She’s right,” Grim stepped in. “It’s the law, and you are the one that created it, not us.”

  “The rules don’t apply to me,” the Devil sang.

  “I wonder how your demons would react to hearing that what’s theirs can be yours anytime you want it?” Fear asked, stepping into the Devil’s face. “You made the rule to keep the demons from tearing each other apart.” Fear smiled. “Hmm… I wonder what they’d start doing if they thought they could get away with taking each other’s marks?”

  The Devil stiffened, and I thought he would blow but instead, he smiled and nodded. “You’re right,” he agreed, stepping away from Fear. “I can’t have any of that.” Then his face morphed into fury. “Guess I’ll just have to obliterate their souls instead.”

  The Devil’s hands were reaching out to me—Fear cut in and the Devil’s hand buried itself into his chest. I gasped and slipped my hand across Fear’s back.

  “Don’t get close,” Ryan hissed as he jerked me backward into him. I realized it was to protect me, the Devil was still coming after us.

  Melanie and Grim stepped in front of us as the Devil jerked his hand out of Fear. Fear roared as the Devil tried to step by him. Fear grabbed his shoulder and prevented him from going any further. The Devil tilted his head and smiled at Fear. “You don’t get a say in when they die,” Fear growled, “even their deaths belong to me.”

  “Very well,” was the Devil’s reply. “You’ll grow tired of them eventually, but I wonder…” His eyes locked on Ryan. “If things will go as you want.” I turned my head so I could see Ryan. He looked furious but also torn.

  “Let’s go,” Ryan said, choosing to ignore the Devil. My heart fluttered the moment he took my hand. Let’s go… I heard his words over again in my head… he had meant me too?

  Someone snatched my other hand, I looked back to see that it was the Devil. Fear grabbed his hand, the one that snatched mine, and said, “Stop with the games.”

  The Devil didn’t listen, instead, he pulled me into him and smirked down at me. “Tell me, do you want to stay? You can never go back to what you had with him before, now that he knows the truth.” His words hit a nerve but I knew an opportunity when I saw one. I smiled and leaned into him. I let my hands slide up his chest as he placed his arms around me, then my hands were around his neck as I smiled up at him. “I knew you were bad,” he whispered.

  Before I could give my response, I was jerked out of his arms and came face-to-face with an angry Ryan. “You crazy—you drive me fucking insane, you know that?” he yelled at me. “You’re in love with me, remember?” I blinked a few times unable to respond then he shoved me away.

  “Ryan,” I started but stopped when I felt Fear’s hand press into my back. I watched as Ryan walked away from me and Fear.

  “Let’s go,” Fear told me. “He’ll be going to the same place we are.”

  “Let’s not have another family reunion too soon, okay Fear?” The Devil chuckled behind us. “And, Grim?” Grim turned. “You will regret pissing me off time and time again.”

  How ominous…

  I glanced toward Ryan again as he grabbed Grim’s shoulder and Grim faded with him, Melanie followed behind them. I wrapped my arms around Fear as he ported us far, far away from the Devil and his Hellhole.

  I was greeted in Grim’s woods by Ryan’s scowl. I frowned the moment I saw him stalking toward us. “I still don’t get why the hell you hugged him back,” he said. Was he, perhaps, jealous?

  I cocked my head and smiled. “Because.” I looked back over his shoulder at Grim and Melanie then met his eyes again. “I knew Grim and Melanie were trying to find all those good demon souls—your friends,” it almost sounded like I was stammering. Jesus, was it that hard to do something good? “To send to a better afterlife now that Melanie was here…”

  Melanie’s eyes widened and she hurried to Ryan’s side. “Why does that have anything to do with what you did?” she asked quickly. “He told us he destroyed them.”

  I raised my eyebrows and lifted my hand out, letting the necklace dangle from my middle finger. “I can’t be sure… but I think they are in here,” I said nervously. I placed the necklace in Melanie’s hand and retreated my hand hastily. “Luckily, it was spelled with powerful magic, otherwise, I wouldn’t have been able to carry it out of his place without it dropping through my ghost hands,” I added quickly. “Might need to hurry up and see if they’re in there so you can send them away before he realizes that I’ve taken it,” I couldn’t help my rambling.

  Melanie studied the necklace then met my eyes—something was in them I’ve never seen before, and I was too uneasy with myself to try to figure it out just yet. She turned and her scythe materialized in her hand as she did. She tossed it on the ground and Killian stood by and watched, crossing his arms. Their powers were so much alike. What must it be like to get to be with someone you loved and were meant to be with?

  I glanced at Ryan but he looked away from me the moment I caught him staring. I turned back to Melanie just as she swung her blade down over the emerald. A green light flashed around it and within seconds, souls began to appear all around us. The souls of demons that never became ghosts the way humans did. They mostly appeared as a sort of fog or smoke. The eviler they were, the darker their color was, but all these demons… they were white. Good.

  Melanie lifted her gaze and the first person she saw was me, and she was smiling. She couldn’t be smiling at me, I was just standing in her line of sight first. But she kept smiling toward me, and it was making me feel odd… She finally turned toward Killian and I felt like I could stop being a statue when she did.

  I jumped when someone tapped my shoulder. I looked to my right to see Fear holding his shirt out to me. “Here,” he told me.

  “I’m a ghost,” I mumbled, just realizing that I’d have to walk around naked all the time now.

  “You’re a ghost with my mark,” he replied, pushing my arms up. I raised them up as he slipped the shirt over my body. And it worked. My body seemed more like flesh around Fear. “See,” he brought his hand out to touch my cheek. “I can still touch you, still cover you with clothes and whatever else I want because of the mark.”

  “It’s them,” Melanie said to Killian, and I looked back toward her just as she laughed while covering her mouth with both hands. Killian stepped in front of her and wrapped his arms around her and smiled with her. “We can send them where they belong now,” she mumbled into his chest.

  Every time I saw them, I wanted Ryan. Not just Ryan… I wanted Ryan as Fear. I wanted him to forgive me so that we could go back to the way we were.

  Could we ever go back to what we were when he thought of me of as only Blue?

  While I had been staring toward Killian and Melanie, Ryan had been looking at me the whole time. I knew because the moment I looked over at him, it took him a second to realize I was staring back. He met my eyes once more and my heart twisted when I saw how much I hurt him—was still hurting him.

  “Shouldn’t they be more than this?” Melanie wondered, and Ryan turned to her voice. I shook away my thoughts and looked too.

  “These are probably the only ones that held on this long,” Killian told her, and her smile faded. “It’s not your fault, you weren’t here yet but you are now and will be always to give demons something to look forward to, even in death.” He smirked. “The ones that deserve it, of course.” She smiled and nodded slowly.


  “Do you think Lincoln and the others are among them?” Melanie asked.

  “Penny?” Ryan croaked as one of the white souls floated in front of his face. Everyone gasped, including me when the soul took form. Not just that, one by one all of them began to take the forms of the demons they once were. The woman in front of Ryan was an older demon, but she was still beautiful. I could imagine she was even more so in her youthful years.

  She smiled at him. “Well, I had hoped to disappear as the hot babe I was, but… it was worth revealing myself one last time to see you again,” she told him and he gave her a genuine smile. I hated the way it made me feel even though this was one of the reasons why I took the necklace.

  “You know, the showing of your age wouldn’t have made a difference to me, right?” he asked her. “I would have still fucked you.” There was a murderous twitch in my eye as I listened to them.

  “Relax,” Fear muttered next to me. “It isn’t what you’re assuming.”

  “Does he love her?” I choked.

  Fear turned me around to face him. “I’ve been inside his head, and there have only been two people he’s ever loved.” My stomach bottomed out. I didn’t want to hear this. “And she’s not one of them.” My eyes widened. “But he cared an awful a lot of about her… looking at her now I realize that maybe I did too because I’m still him. Even now.” Somehow, I didn’t feel better. Now I was irritated that Fear cared somewhat about her too, and he wasn’t supposed to like anybody but me. “I was trying to make you feel better, why is your mood ten times worse now?” Fear asked, and like a little brat, I ignored him.

  Penny chuckled softly and shook her head, gaining my attention again. “I know,” she told him then she turned her head and spotted Fear next to me. “I see you’re still causing trouble.”

  “It’s a long story,” he told her with a sigh.

  She nodded. “Things are changing, I can tell.” Ryan stiffened. “And that’s okay, ya know? About damn time, actually.”

  “I’m sorry,” he told her quickly. “You don’t realize how much it helped that you were around when—”