Falling Hard

by Shelly Bell

  She nodded, closing her eyes, her fingers scratching my back. I reached for the metal bars of my headboard to give me more leverage. I bit into the soft flesh at her shoulders. She pulled my hair, my name a breathy whisper on her lips. I thrust into her, each movement bringing us closer to the edge. There was nothing more beautiful than the sight of Lilly coming. She shook, her face flushed, her back arched, her fingernails digging into my skin.

  I joined her in that place where we didn’t need words. Where our actions spoke vast amounts of dialogue all on their own.

  My sated girl flopped her head on my chest, her eyes half-lidded. “Best. Summer. Day. Ever.”

  I buried my face against the hollow of her neck. “Me too, sweetheart.”

  I’d promised there would be no tears today. I hated myself for breaking my own rule.

  Chapter 13

  Lilly

  Last night was possibly the best and worst night of my life. James had made it special for us, but my mind wanted to pause time or stretch it out so today would never come. But it did.

  James insisted on dropping me at the airport.

  “Do you have everything?” he asked, putting my carry-on bag on the bench.

  “I think so.”

  He gestured to the book sticking out of the side pocket of my bag. “You’re reading the Wizard of Oz?”

  “Yeah, I wanted something to read on the plane. Colton recommended this one, but I haven’t had a chance to dive into it yet.”

  He nodded, tucking the book securely into the bag. He fished out my little digital camera from his pocket. “I hope you don’t mind. I got up early and made a copy of all the pictures.”

  “No, of course not.” I hugged him hard, a gasping sob escaping me despite my best efforts.

  He shook his head, frowning. “None of that. This isn’t the end of anything. It’s the beginning of a new journey for you. You’re going to do great things.”

  I nodded because the lump in my throat began to grow exponentially. The butterflies all cursed at me, holding up protest signs as they fluttered.

  “I am your biggest die-hard fan, Lilly Franklin. I can’t wait to watch your career take off. If you ever need anything, and I mean anything, I will always have a seat saved for you.”

  “Will you be in it, Mr. Seat Stealer?”

  He smiled at the sad attempt at humor.

  He took me in his arms again and I breathed his scent while he embraced me, lifting me off the ground. He looked down at his watch after he let me go.

  “I’ll always be there for you, but you have to go. Your flight’s about to board.” His voice choked on the last few words.

  Tell me to stay.

  Tell me to stay.

  Tell me to stay.

  I’m sure I said it aloud, but he didn’t reply. Instead, he shoved his hands in his pocket.

  I turned swiftly, taking my rolling luggage with me, feeling the gush of fresh hot tears. I had been strong until this point, but I couldn’t hold it back anymore. Thankfully I had a window seat. I leaned against it, hoping the eight-hour flight would go fast.

  It was the longest eight hours of my life.

  I scrolled though the photos on the camera, my thumb hovering above the display. There were ones of me sleeping James must have taken. I chuckled at the sight of him and Blake at the wing-eating contest that was a Tuesday tradition at Billy’s Blues and BBQ. Then there was us at Roasted and the dance studio. The photos chronicled every magical moment of us. Toward the end, there was a photo I didn’t remember. James stood on the Pont d’Amour in his running shirt, a knit skullcap over his messy head of hair, the scar on his cheek peeking through his stubble. The pale light of a new day surrounded him, casting him in this surreal glow. He looked like Abercrombie and the MMA had a baby.

  The lady next to me, who’d made it her personal mission to tell me her life story, leaned over to get a look. Her name was Edna. She was going to visit her sister in Paris. She had three cats in a kennel back home. There were lots of other facts I could recite about Edna, but this wasn’t her story. It was mine…and his.

  “Oh my, he’s a handsome one.”

  “Yeah, he’s beautiful.”

  “Boyfriend?”

  “Um…no, not anymore.”

  She shook her head. “What a shame.”

  No kidding, Edna.

  “Did you take the video?”

  “Video?”

  “I may be old, but it’s clear I have a better handle on technology than you. Yes, it’s a video. I have the same camera, and it’s hard to tell with these older ones, but you see the little arrow there?” She pointed to it. He’d left me a video? Her finger hovered above the arrow. I moved it away before she tapped on the icon.

  “Excuse me.” I almost jumped over her into the dimly lit aisle of the 747. I wasn’t about to share this moment with anyone, especially a nosy stranger.

  I locked myself in the claustrophobic airplane bathroom. I took a deep breath and pushed the play button.

  “Hello Lilly,” he said, his lips curving into a slow grin. “You’re probably in Paris by now.”

  Guess again, James.

  “It took all the strength I had to leave you in that bed while I went for a run. But I needed this distance from you so I could say this with a clear head. A week ago, we kissed on this very bridge. I promised myself I would let you go, that I wouldn’t stand in your way. That I would support you and not be another burden. But I can’t not tell you this. I’ve shoved the words down my throat, silencing them, but stale words taste worse than sour milk so here it goes.” He took a deep breath, taking off his knit cap in the process. He ran his fingers through his hair. The camera angle became shaky. I wanted to scream at him to stop tormenting me and say it already.

  “I love you, Lilly Franklin.”

  Oh, fuck me.

  I absently wiped my face with the back of my hand. I opened my mouth to respond in kind before I realized it was too late. I’d be speaking to myself.

  “I wanted to tell you in person, but I guess I’m a coward. I also didn’t want to make you feel guilty. You don’t have to say it back. It’s probably better you don’t. You’ve shown me in so many ways. My purpose in telling you is simple. I want you to know that no matter where you are in this amazing, shitty, wonderful, fucked up, big-ass world, there is someone in a very tiny town in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan who loves you with all his heart. These last few weeks with you make me remember what it is to have hope again. I will never forget you. You will always be my girl.”

  And he would always be my guy.

  For the longest time, I’d been content to be on my own, believing I didn’t need anyone. Thinking it somehow made me stronger. Now, I didn’t think I could survive without him.

  Once I had my cry, the anger came.

  Why didn’t he say this at the airport? Or at his house the night before? Why the fuck hadn’t he fought for me or asked me to stay?

  I would have.

  I only left the bathroom when someone knocked on the door. Embarrassed by the long line of irritated passengers, I quickly made my way back to my seat.

  “Are you all right, dear?” Edna, who hated airplane food, asked me.

  “Yes.”

  She continued to prattle on about airplane sickness, handing me a bag.

  “I’m fine, thanks.” I took out the book I’d brought so I could excuse my silence.

  Thankfully, she took the hint.

  I meant to read a few pages and then try to doze off.

  Despite Edna’s piercing snores, I managed to read the whole thing. I got it. I finally understood why Colton called his brother The Tin Man.

  Just as I realized why my handsome, humble Marine hadn’t asked me to stay.

  Chapter 14

  Hutch

  A little over a week had passed since Lilly left. Time and distance may have increased the gap between us, but my love for her only continued to grow stronger with each passing day. She texted m
e on arrival. That was the last I’d heard from her. We’d both agreed we shouldn’t keep in touch. It would make the transition too difficult. I missed her every day. I saw her in all the places we’d gone to—the bridge, at Billy’s, in my apartment, lying next to me in bed on my crumpled sheets.

  Roasted was exceptionally busy today. Grayson snagged us a table by the door. I shook off the snowflakes clinging to my coat before I set it on the back of a chair, depositing my textbook on the table.

  “I’ll get the coffee,” I offered.

  It was as if everyone on campus had decided to get coffee at the same time. The line was long, and I swore someone had gotten a hold of the soundtrack labeled “Lilly and Hutch.” Every fucking song held a memory of us. I considered covering my ears when Matt Nathanson’s Come On Get Higher mocked me.

  By the time I got our coffee, there was no sign of Grayson. He was gone and so were his books. In fact, the other chair at the table had been snagged, too.

  Even worse, despite my books and coat, someone was sitting in my seat, reading a newspaper.

  What kind of ass plants themselves in someone else’s seat? I set down the cardboard cups, but the newspaper remained, blocking my view of the person.

  “Excuse me, this is my seat.”

  No acknowledgement.

  “Hello?”

  This time, a page of the newspaper flipped. I caught a whiff of vanilla. It wasn’t coming from the coffee bar. I shook it away and took a deep breath, ready to have words with the seat stealer. I was no mood for this. “Get your ass out of my seat.”

  The paper folded. The girl smiled. My heart went still.

  “You’re lucky I’m willing to share, Corporal Hutchinson.”

  She stood, reducing the space between us.

  “What are you doing here, Lilly?”

  “Blake said you’d be here.”

  “I mean, why aren’t you in Paris?”

  “I was, for a few days.”

  I grabbed her arm and led her out the door.

  “What are you doing?”

  “I’m driving you back to the airport. Maybe you can get your spot back. Tell them you had a lapse in judgment.”

  “Stop!” She pulled her hand from mine. “It’s over. I got out of my contract.”

  The snow circled around us. I watched as the flakes danced and melted against her skin.

  I took a deep breath, drawing the energy I needed for this conversation. “Why would you do that?”

  “I want to be here. Here with you, James.”

  “I won’t let you do this.”

  The wounded look on her face was enough to kill a man, especially when her lower lip quivered. Don’t make this harder than it is, Lilly.

  “I don’t understand. I saw the video on my camera. You said you loved me.”

  “I also said I wasn’t going to stop you.” I looked down. The emotions fired at me in successive rounds—hope, hurt and fear. “I will not let you give up your dreams for me.”

  “I’m not, James. This is what I want. You are what I want.”

  I kicked a fresh pile of snow. The drift flew against the brick façade of Roasted. The move provided no satisfaction, but it did release an avalanche in my heart. I had to make her understand. I had to be as naked with my emotions as I had been with my body.

  I flattened my palm against the building, covering her body with my mine. “I don’t want you to ever have regrets. Not now, not a year from now and especially not ten years from now.”

  “I won’t.”

  “You say that—”

  She grabbed a fistful of my shirt and pulled me toward her. Either my balance was off or she was freakishly strong, probably both. Her lips met mine. Whatever shred of fight I had evaporated in the aggressive kiss. God, how I’d ached to taste her, clinging to cold memories all these lonely nights.

  She backed away, breathless. “Hutch.” She chuckled at my expression. “That’s right. I’m calling you Hutch.” I opened my mouth, but she clapped her hand against it before I could form a word. “Shut up and listen to me. I didn’t come to this decision lightly. I wondered on the flight to Paris why you didn’t ask me to stay with you. Then I read the book, and I got it. I know why Colton calls you the Tin Man.”

  “Care to enlighten me?”

  “The Tin Man was a good man, a brave man who loved fiercely. He gave up everything he had…sacrificed it away. The last thing to go was his heart. I know the things you’ve done for the people you love. And you didn’t fight for me, but that’s just another example of the kind of honest, protective man you are.”

  “Baby, I was fighting myself every day.”

  “Yeah, I can see that. Me, too. But you let me go because you are selfless. You didn’t want to walk between me and my dream.”

  “That’s right.”

  “But I’m not selfless. I’m selfish. I want you more than anything else. I can dance anywhere, even this small one-coffee-shop town has a dance studio. I don’t care where I dance as long as you’re my partner.”

  “I hope you mean that figuratively cause I’m a crappy dancer.”

  She chuckled. “In every way. I love you, James Hutchinson.”

  “I have nothing to give you.”

  “You have your heart. I promise if you give it to me, I’ll protect it.”

  “Sweetheart, it was yours the day you climbed out of that basket.”

  I kissed the tear from her cheek before wrapping my arms around her. “How did you get out of your contract?”

  “It was clear how miserable I was. Madame M asked me what was wrong. I told her our story, and she cut me loose. As it turns out, she knew my mother. They danced together in New York.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah, I didn’t know that myself. I’d always thought Mom’s life was somewhat tragic because of her fall, but Madame put it into perspective. She told me how Mom said the fall was painful, and it made her sad. But it was also one of the best things that happened because she met my dad. You’re right, James. Their story was romantic. I was just too cynical to see past my misery and remember how much they really loved each other. I should have recognized it in us. It’s the same way I love you.”

  I crushed my lips to hers, sweeping her hair away. I picked her up and squeezed her so hard she squealed.

  “I’m never gonna let you go again, Lilly. I love you so much.”

  “You better not.”

  “Never. You. Are. Mine,” I proclaimed, wanting to scream the simple statement from every building.

  “I’m yours, James, just as you are mine.”

  A harsh sneer interrupted us. “Get a room,” someone said, trudging through the snow.

  We laughed. We kissed. We got a room, eventually. But one thing we never did…we never let each other go again.

  Other Books by MK Schiller

  In Other Words Series

  The Other C-Word

  The Other F- Word

  The Other P-Word

  Stand-Alone Titles

  THE DO-OVER

  A GIRL BY ANY OTHER NAME

  VARIABLES OF LOVE

  About MK Schiller

  I am a hopeless romantic in a hopelessly pragmatic world. I have a full time life and two busy teenagers, but in the dark of night, I sit by the warm glow of my computer monitor, reading or writing, usually with some tasty Italian…the food that is!

  I started imagining stories in my head at a very young age. In fact, I got so good at it that friends asked me to create plots featuring them as the heroine and the object of their affection as the hero. You've heard of fan fiction... this was friend fiction.

  I hope you enjoy my stories and always find The Happily Ever After in every endeavor.

  I love hearing from readers so please write to me!

  Website – www.mkschillerauthor.com

  FB author page - www.facebook.com/MKSchillerauthor

  FB personal Page - www.facebook.com/mk.schiller

  Amazon Author page
- www.amazon.com/MK-Schiller

  Twitter – @MKSchiller

  Goodreads author page - www.goodreads.com

  DARK HEARTS

  (A Paranormal New Adult Novella)

  By Aliza Mann

  Mitchell Rowland wasn’t looking for trouble. Having sworn off crazy girls, he needed to keep a low profile. It wasn’t a good idea to be in the spotlight with vicious Seekers and heartless demons out to kill him. The fantasy of blending in disappeared when he met half-human, half-demon, Aurora Tanner. Gone were the cares of hiding the wolf he was, replaced with an urgency to claim her. Could he help the woman of his dreams avert certain death at the hands of her demon father while maintaining his own secret?

  Aurora was simply trying to live a normal life. One where she hung out with her friends, enjoyed campus life and wasn’t being stalked by her deathly father – the demon Alchoe, who vowed to kill her if she didn’t return to Hell with him. In fact, when Mitch approached her at a frat party, she knew she should walk away because there was nothing normal about him – but she didn’t. Instead, she ignored her apprehension. One night of passion left her spiritually bound to him. Fresh with imprint from the werewolf she barely knew, she would have to find a way to save her life, while protecting her heart.

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  As an author, you find there are so many people who are necessary to your very survival. A great critique group, people who you can depend on when the cynics say something awful and who will be there to dry your tears, a family who loves and supports you, good friends who will blindly follow as you kill the wrong character or create possibly one of the most trite endings in the world, fans who randomly walk up to you and ask questions about your book - because it means they’ve read your work - and the list goes on and on. I am lucky enough to have all those people and many more in my corner.

  It is nothing less than a blessing to be able to follow your dreams and everyone who fits in one of the previously mentioned categories is absolutely vital. I am so thankful to the core group of individuals who remind me every day why I write and keep me from falling off the ledge. To those who pick me up when my wall comes crashing down, thank you. #smutastik4Life