Us: Book Three in The Everett Gaming Series

by Drew Sera

  Matt began feeling around her abdomen and lower abdomen. He made a few passes with gently feeling it. When he began another go around, he applied some pressure on her right side, and she winced again. Damn it!

  “Baby, how bad does it hurt?” I asked her. She better not sugar coat this.

  “Give me a number on a scale of one to ten. Ten being the worst and one being not so bad,” Matt instructed her.

  “Maybe a four. It doesn’t hurt all the time though. It just kind of comes and goes. It doesn’t hurt like it did at the tree lot. It’s starting to subside now.”

  Matt continued feeling around and then nodded and got off the bed.

  “Anth, do you guys have some ibuprofen?” Anthony nodded and went to our bathroom while Matt turned to face Sydney. “Sydney, I want you to tell Colin and Anthony when it flares up again.”

  “Okay.”

  Sydney took the two ibuprofen from Anthony’s hand and slowly swallowed them. We headed back downstairs to begin working on the tree. Gina had just pulled the cookies out of the oven, and Anthony grabbed one and shoved the whole thing in his mouth. I raised my eyebrow at him trying to figure out what the purpose of that was, but then I heard Sydney’s laughter and saw her warm smile. Anthony wrapped her up in a hug and started to gently tickle her, making her laugh louder. While she was laughing and being tickled, Anthony dropped his head to kiss her.

  “Like my cookie kiss, sunshine?” Anthony grabbed another cookie and broke off pieces and began to feed her.

  I glanced at Matt and shared a knowing smile about how much Anthony has changed because of Sydney. He loves her so much, and he’s so affected by her. Matt and I strung the lights around the tree while Sydney, Anthony, and Gina watched from the couch with a plate of cookies. When we were done, Matt set a box of decorations on the kitchen table for all of us to grab and put on the tree.

  “Ah, not yet.” Matt put his hands over all of the ornaments so none of us would grab any. It about killed Sydney. She was so excited about the tree. Matt had Gina by his side, and she handed a small gift bag to me. I took it but frowned and looked at Gina and Matt. The two of them had huge grins on their faces, but Gina looked like she had tears in her eyes.

  “What…” I began, but Matt cut me off.

  “It’s for the three of you. Gina and I thought it was perfect.”

  I smiled and Anthony pulled Sydney closer so that she was standing between us. I opened the bag, but held it out so Sydney could reach inside. She pulled out a clear glass ornament that had “Our First Christmas” etched on the glass. It was perfect. Sydney was so excited over it, and soon she was crying along with Gina. That definitely grabbed Anthony and I by the throat, and now my chest ached.

  “Look, Colin and Anthony, the bottom looks like ice and our initials are scratched on it!”

  I looked down in the ornament and the bottom was a mirror, made to look like an ice pond. Scrawled in the ice was a C, S, and A. Fuck, my chest. This must be the same chest pain Anthony keeps having.

  “Matt and Gina, this is perfect. Thank you.” I went over and hugged Gina and gave Matt a more rougher guy type of hug. I can’t believe how excited I was about this kind of stuff all of a sudden.

  “You guys are more than welcome. Gina and I were up at the Venetian eating dinner last week, and they had a little store where they engraved ornaments and that sort of thing. We knew it was a must for our tree, so it has to be the first one on.”

  Sydney sucked in a breath of air and had covered her mouth with her hand. Anthony put the ornament in her hands, grabbed another cookie, and led her over to the tree with the rest of us following.

  “Where looks like a good spot for that one, sunshine?”

  “I get to put it on the tree?” She turned to look at me, but Anthony turned her head to look back at the tree.

  “Yes, sunshine. You’re putting the ornament on the tree. Don’t worry, it’s impossible to make a wrong decision. I promise you,” Anthony said while he shoved the rest of the cookie in his mouth.

  She held the ornament in both hands and looked over the tree until she decided upon a spot. She fiddled with it until she was sure that it was secure on the tree. She stood back and smiled at it, pleased with how it looked.

  “Syd, want to help me hang the stockings?” Gina held out a box that had our goofy Christmas socks.

  Shit! I hadn’t remembered to pick up a Christmas sock for Sydney. Anthony and I have been trying to think of everything to make this a Christmas that she should have experienced as a child, but failed in the sock category. Anthony knew it too because he and I gave each other “oh shit” glances.

  Sydney headed over to the fireplace with Gina, and Matt sat down with a plate of cookies. He looked over at Anthony and I and raised an eyebrow.

  “What? What’s wrong?”

  I motioned towards the girls and the fireplace. Matt leaned back and put his snowman sock clad feet on the coffee table.

  “Relax, fellas. I told you I had your backs,” Matt said as he shoved an entire cookie in his mouth, mimicking Anthony from earlier.

  I frowned at him before hearing Sydney’s excited voice.

  “Look! I have a sock! I have a Christmas sock!”

  Sydney turned and showed us her red velvet sock that had her name stitched in the white fluffy top in an elegant script.

  “Hang it up, sunshine. Put it right between mine and Colin’s.”

  Anthony and I each shot Matt a “thank you” look. Now, we each had our sock hung on the fireplace. In years past, we would put gag gifts in each other’s Christmas socks. Anthony and I were going to fill that sock full of sex toys and naughty things. Initially, we were just going to put them in a gift bag, but now I think the Christmas sock is the perfect place.

  We all munched on cookies as we filled the tree with ornaments. Most of the ornaments were round balls with either satin or glitter. Matt and Gina also found ornaments in the shape of each of all of our first name initials. They were perfect.

  After we had it decorated, we all sat down to marvel at it and eat more cookies while the fire roared and Christmas music played quietly in the background. It was quite possibly the most beautiful tree we’ve ever had. It was clearly the most special tree for obvious reasons.

  We sat up until nearly 11:30 sharing stories of our favorite Christmas gifts or memories from when we were little.

  “Mine was a blonde Cabbage Patch doll. Lauren Marilyn was her name. She went everywhere with me and had the most beautiful gingham dress,” Gina shared with us.

  Matt stroked Gina’s hair as she spoke fondly about her doll. When she was done going on about Lauren Marilyn, Matt told everyone how he and I loved football so much when we were kids, and how we’d always end up with a new one each Christmas.

  “We’d play in Colin’s yard; our houses were right next door. And every now and then, we’d lose the ball over a fence. His brother Jeff would always kick the ball, and that’s how we’d lose it,” Matt looked over at me, and we both warped back to my backyard. He and I shared a laugh while I pictured Jeff kicking the ball over the fence unintentionally. We had a rule that if you were the one who lost the ball over the fence, that you were the one who had to go get it. It was usually Jeff going over the fence to get the ball. “Remember when he tore his shirt and got cut going over the fence?” Matt asked me.

  “Yeah, and our parents thought we got in a fight and were covering it up,” I added as we went down memory lane, laughing harder.

  “Fuck, that’s right!” Matt pounded his hand on the arm rest of the chair. “Our dad’s tried to play mind games with us to trick us to tell the truth.” Matt and I continued to laugh hard. “Fuck, we were what, eight or something?”

  “We were nine. That was at the beginning of November.”

  I looked up at Matt. It was a few weekends before Jeff died. Matt knew what the timing meant, and I’m pretty sure Anthony did too. Our conversation hit a different tone now, and Matt looked at me with sad eyes.
Not only did I lose Jeff, but Matt did too. The three of us were best friends and inseparable. I didn’t want to turn tonight into sad memories though and nudged Sydney.

  “Baby, what was your favorite toy?” I asked her and lowered my head to kiss the top of her head. I prayed that there was a good toy memory in her past.

  “My hairdresser Barbie. She came with hair accessories and also a hair clip for me.”

  I relaxed some as we heard about her good memory. Gina grabbed Anthony’s attention and asked him what his favorite toy was. He was very non-committal though, and I glanced up at Matt. We both knew what was in his past and feared he never really had a Christmas.

  “I don’t know, probably a basketball or something like that,” he said, but avoided looking at Matt and I. He occupied his mouth with another cookie.

  Matt, Gina, and I kept the conversation going with talking about holidays growing up. Sydney even contributed to the memories, but Anthony had little to say, and when I looked over at him, I could see how he was starting to detach from the conversation.

  Even before I knew exactly what was in Anthony’s past, I had worried he never had much of a Christmas. Now that Matt and I knew what his childhood was like, I was pretty sure he didn’t have any nice memories that Matt and I had in abundance.

  As we began eating more sweets, Anthony stood and said he was going to sit on the deck for a while and get some mountain air. Matt and I knew he was withdrawing, but neither of us spoke up. Neither of us wanted to draw attention to him, when it was clear he didn’t want to make a scene.

  The girls started talking about gift wrapping some things but told Matt and I that we couldn’t look. It ended up being the perfect way for us to excuse ourselves to go outside with Anthony while the girls wrapped some gifts.

  “We’ll let you two wrap for a little bit and go join Anthony with that mountain air.” I kissed Sydney and headed towards the door to the deck with Matt. Matt tossed my coat over to me and grabbed Anthony’s for us to take.

  The freezing air hit me before I even got both feet out the door. Anthony looked over as we approached, and I set his jacket on his lap. He was trying to play it cool and like he wasn’t bothered about something. Matt and I knew better though.

  “You guys decided to come get some pine air?”

  “Yeah, it’s fucking freezing though,” I said to him and looked up at the heat lamp that stood behind our chairs.

  As usual, Anthony didn’t give much away in regards to how he was feeling. But Matt and I have grown to expect that, and after we saw the police and medical file, neither of us have pushed at him. He’s had enough shit, and sometimes he just needs nothing more than quiet company. I’ll always do that for him, and I’m sure Matt will too. The three of us had unconditional love, respect, and support for one another. When Matt needed a shoulder to lean on, he’d always come right out an say what was on his mind, and Anthony and I would be there to listen and offer support and advice. I was a lot like Matt when I had something on my mind. Anthony was polar opposite. When he needed to lean, he just needed someone around. Just someone to sit with him in case he wanted to talk.

  We sat in silence for a while, just listening to the wind moving through the trees. It was peaceful out here. Maybe the peacefulness is what prompted Anthony to build the cabin all those years ago.

  “The Christmas tree looks good, huh?” he asked us, though his eyes didn’t move from the nothingness he was focused on. “Sydney was so excited…and she has a Christmas sock. She’s so happy.” Anthony loved to talked about Sydney. I knew he was trying to keep her at the front of his mind right now, rather than dwell on old stuff. We could hear the girls inside giggling, and the three of us looked back towards the door.

  It was pointless to bring up the obvious, so Matt and I just sat with him for a while. Matt finally tried to start a conversation to see how he was feeling.

  “So, a basketball, huh?” Matt asked him cautiously.

  I thought back to Ross from the shelter and how excited that little boy was over the ball and hoop. Anthony saved his Christmas and gave that kid something that I don’t think anyone gave him when he was little - hope.

  Anthony smirked and let out a small laugh as he shook his head. I knew the basketball wasn’t really his favorite gift, but it was what he thought of inside with the girls. He looked over at Matt and I with a frown.

  “My favorite Christmas gift was one where I didn’t see my mom, Bruce, or Connor.”

  He returned his gaze back out over the blanket of darkness. Sometimes I take for granted my childhood. While I lost my family at nine years old, I was fortunate enough to have spent nine years with a caring, loving family. Anthony grew up in hell.

  Matt stood and put his hand on Anthony’s shoulder and jostled him some. It was a silent reminder to Anthony that Matt and I are both here for him. Matt and I consider Anthony our little brother, and we’d always be here for him. He knew it too.

  “You want to stay out here longer and freeze your nuts off?” Matt asked him, causing him to laugh.

  “No, I’m good now. Thanks guys.”

  The three of us stood, and I put my arm around his shoulders as we headed back inside. The girls scampered to hide whatever it was they were gift wrapping, and we were shooed into the kitchen while they cleaned up. Sitting across from Anthony in the light made me relax some. He looked calm again, and I was pretty sure his mind was clear of his mom and step-dad.

  I think we were all getting tired, because we started getting giddy. Anthony and I took Sydney to bed for the evening, but I think Matt and Gina were going to sit up a bit longer by the tree.

  38

  Monday, December 23rd

  Anthony

  I woke up in the middle of the night to Sydney’s restless body. Fuck! Not another nightmare, I begged to myself as I rolled to my side. Colin was still asleep. I pulled her closer to me and stroked her hair, hoping that would calm her and the dream would pass.

  “No…’lease…burns," she mumbled against my chest.

  Fuck that shit. I shook her gently until she woke up. Being out of my element, with our room at home, I hadn’t turned the light on yet but wished I had. She flew into a panic not being able to see me right away and didn’t know where she was. She was so scared and began frantically pushing at me and trying to scramble off the bed. I let her push and pound on me until Colin flipped the light on. When she saw me and Colin, she pulled her legs up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. She let her head drop to her knee and began to cry.

  Colin and I tried to calm her, but I think this dream scared her pretty bad. She kept holding her stomach and tried rocking back and forth. I hate seeing her like this.

  “I’m sorry, Colin and Anthony. I wish I didn’t have to sleep,” she managed to get out between sobs.

  I looked at Colin and sighed. The nightmares are taking their toll. Chris needs to think twice about giving her something to help with sleeping. She can’t keep going on like this. Colin’s expression told me that he was thinking the same thing and was going to talk to Chris again.

  “Don’t apologize to us. It’s not your fault, baby,” Colin said and tried to get her to lie back down.

  She was wound too tight to rest though. I knew Colin was really tired still, especially after the drive yesterday, and we were up late.

  “Come here, sunshine.” I got out of bed, pulling on my lounge pants and looked at Colin. “I’m going to take her downstairs for a while. We’ll sit by the fireplace, and she can relax some.” Colin nodded and handed me his tee shirt from the foot of the bed to put her in so she wouldn’t be cold.

  When we got downstairs, she and I sat down on the couch, and I wrapped her up in a blanket. She shook for a few moments in my arms. I leaned back on the arm of the couch and propped a leg against the back of the couch while Sydney lay with her chest against mine. After we got settled, I gently rubbed up and down her back. Every now and then, I’d kiss the top of her head when she’d quiver,
hoping that it would help chase whatever terrible image was floating around in her head.

  “Talk to me, sunshine. What were you dreaming about?”

  It took a few minutes, as usual, but she got it out.

  “Being burned.”

  I gave her a squeeze, reminding her where she was at and who she was with. “Give me more, Sydney.” I kissed her forehead but felt her frowning. She didn’t like being pushed for this kind of info, but she needed it. That’s one thing I learned a long time ago in this lifestyle. Sometimes what you wanted wasn’t the same as what you needed.

  “I was in trouble, I can’t remember what over though. It’s hazy. But he cut my wrist and it bled a lot.” In one quick move she pulled her hands out from under the blanket and looked at them. I knew what she was doing: making sure she wasn’t bleeding. I had done this same panic checking when I went to live with my dad and had nightmares. I took hold of her hands and watched her panicked eyes. I wished she and I didn’t have this in common.

  “Eyes, sunshine.”

  We held each other’s gaze. “No blood, sweetheart. You’re safe.”

  Her bottom lip quivered, and the tears spilled out of her pretty blue eyes. Fucking tore my heart out. I pulled her back down to rest her head on my chest. I loved this girl and wished I could erase the damage that has been done to her.

  “It was so real, Anthony,” she whispered.

  “I know. Dreams can be very realistic. Sunshine, when I was younger and was having nightmares, I’d wake up scared too. I’d have dreams about being cut again. When I finally woke up, I always checked my side to see if there was blood and some gash in my skin. The gash was always there, but no blood as if it had just happened.”

  I found talking to Sydney calming. I knew what kind of pain and anguish she was going through when she had nightmares. I also knew that I have been there and had some knowledge on the subject. And just maybe talking to her about my nightmares, will help her and give her comfort when dealing with hers.