Titan Magic

by Jodi Lamm

  Maddy padded down the long hall, her feet still bare, her hair tied back, and a storybook tucked under one arm. She turned the handle of her brother’s door without making a sound and pushed it open just enough to slip in.

  It was black as night inside. She closed the door behind her and waited until she could just see his shadow. He sat alone on a wooden chair and stared at one of his empty walls. A few slivers of cloud-covered sunlight found their way past his curtains, but did little to illuminate the room. For a moment, Maddy hoped Marcus had not seen her. She wondered if she could slip back through the door and leave without his ever having known she’d been there, but Marcus dashed her hopes with a word.

  “Maddy?” His voice cracked and bled.

  Maddy opened her mouth to speak, but closed it again when she saw Marcus had not turned to face her.

  “Why didn’t you tell me to stop?” he said.

  “I don’t know.” She tried to stare at the floor, but it was buried in shadows. “I was afraid.”

  Marcus left such a wide wake of silence after her answer she nearly forgot she was in the room with him. He was alone. No matter who stood beside him, he would have been alone.

  Maddy shifted her weight and squeezed the spine of her storybook. “I brought a book for you,” she said. “It’s a happy one. I wanted to repay you for… helping me, last night.” The more she said, the clumsier she sounded.

  “So are you going to read it, or are you going to tell me why you’re really here?”

  Glad for the shadows now, Maddy continued. “Mother told me about your curse, how you made it worse for my sake, how I might be able to break it. I want to break it. Tell me what I should do. I’ll do anything. I don’t want to see you hurt any more because I…” Here she paused, and Marcus turned in his chair to see her. She barely made out his two eyes and mouth, gaping like those of a skull. The sight of him made her shudder, but she would not look away. “I don’t want to see you hurt any more,” she said again, “because I love you.”

  He sprang from his chair. “How?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “In what way?”

  “I don’t know.” Maddy backed away from the statue that had come to life so suddenly.

  When she didn’t answer, Marcus crossed the room and listened at the door. “Does anyone know you’re here?”

  “No.” Maddy took another step away from him.

  “That’s not good. You shouldn’t have come.” He bit his knuckles and began to pace. “But is it true what you said? I mean is it possible? Maybe… Ah, if only I could wrench the demon from my head!”

  “Demon?” Maddy backed into the wall.

  “Did I say demon? Sorry. I meant to say wretch. I meant to say pervert. Deviant! Murderer!”

  Before she knew how it happened, the chair in which Marcus had been sitting was crushed to pieces. Maddy dared not blink. Marcus was strong, and he seemed to have gone madder than she’d ever been.

  “You’re afraid of me,” he said, as he approached her again, one creaking step at a time. “Don’t be afraid of me. If you love me…” He took her shoulders in both his hands, leaned in too close, and opened his mouth in an unearthly expression that left the air in Maddy’s lungs ice-cold. She tried to order him to stay back, but she couldn’t make a sound. “If you love me,” he continued, closing the gap between them so slowly he didn’t seem to move at all, “then there’s nothing to worry about.”

  The air Maddy breathed was thin, freezing, mountain air. It slipped between her lips as though she were not breathing at all, but being breathed into. She felt dizzy and helpless until she gathered her strength and shoved Marcus away. He stumbled back. She found her own breath and shouted, “Stop!”

  Marcus froze where he stood.

  “Don’t come any closer.”

  He fell to his knees and dug his fingernails into the carpet.

  Maddy circled around behind him. “It’s true,” she said. “You are possessed.”

  Then, gasping and panting, Marcus began a guttural scream that rose from his belly into his throat, and ended in such a terrible bellow Maddy had to cover her ears. This was the scream she had heard him utter just after her mother sent her away that morning. She dropped the book and rushed at him. “Stop screaming.” She moved to cover his mouth, but she didn’t need to. As soon as the words left her lips, Marcus was silent.

  “Help me,” he whimpered.

  Maddy knelt beside him and took his hand in hers. “I wish I knew how.”

  At first, he cringed at her touch, but soon he melted into her. “You already know what to do,” he said. “Embrace your chaos, defy your master, find your voice.”

  “And this will remove the beast from your heart?”

  “The beast.” He chuckled bitterly. “Yes. When you have done those things, you’ll have the power to expel the beast. But before that…” He squeezed her hand and turned his face away. “Before that, say you love me one more time. Even though it’s impossible, I want to hear it again.”

  “Will it hurt you to hear it?”

  He didn’t answer. Maddy felt the blood pumping through his fingers, so tightly were they wrapped around hers.

  “I don’t want to hurt you,” she said.

  “I don’t care that it hurts. I want to hear it. I don’t even care how you mean it. Love me as a brother, as a friend, as anything. Let the beast tear me apart, only say it again because I’ve never heard it before.”

  “Not even from Mother?”

  He shook his head. “I am the shadow of her husband—just a memory she can keep. Before Mother, I was only a slave. I hated it. But if you loved me…” He trailed off, trembling as though he were afraid to say more.

  Maddy wished she could fix him immediately. She despised the beast, whatever it was. She hated anything that caused Marcus to suffer. But all this time, he’d suffered right beside her and she’d never seen it. He’d been her brother for three years, and she’d never known him at all. “I do,” she said, laying her head on his shoulder. “I do love you.”

  He breathed in the words she said as though they were more life-giving than air. “How do you know for sure?”

  “I don’t.” She felt for the book that still lay on the floor beside her, and spoke in a slow, clear voice. “But I used to watch your face whenever I thought you wouldn’t notice, just to catch your smile. I used to memorize your stories, not because I loved them that much, but because they came from you. And while I was away from home, every time I looked at Father’s coat, all I could think of was you.” She paused at that, realizing for the first time that it was true.

  Marcus grinned. “That coat is my everything, Maddy. I told Mother to give it to you.” He laughed and clapped his hands. “You really do love me! I think you must.” He leapt to his feet and began circling the room. “It’s like the story of the man whose coat was made of many furs, and his lover was faithful to him even when she thought he was a monster. Do you love me like that? Or maybe it’s the story of the boy whose father told him he loved him by giving him a beautiful coat. Maybe I gave you my father’s coat because I loved you.”

  The more Marcus spoke, the more excited he became. “Of course! I must have loved you before you had it, before the beast possessed my mind. I must have.” Then he grew pensive and bit his knuckles. “But I needed you. Maybe I only gave it to you because I needed you. Oh, I can’t remember now. Damn! If it’s the curse that makes me love you, how horrible to have it lifted! Because if you love me… Is it really possible? If only you knew how—in what way. Do you know how I love you?” Marcus waited for Maddy to answer. She gave him a tentative smile, and that was all he needed. “I love you the way the Death Lord loved his stolen bride. The way Osiris loved Isis. We could be Zal and Rudabeh. Or Romeo and Juliet…” He paused. “But we’ll make a better end, I think, don’t you?”

  “I think maybe you’ve lost your mind.”

  “Of course I have!” He shook her. “Of course I have, but wh
at good is a mind without a heart? I’ll give my mind for a heart any day, and now… and now…” He stopped, and his smile vanished like the smile of a thief who has just been caught. “This isn’t me.” He threw himself on his bed and punched his pillow. “Why can’t it be me?” Then he buried his face and lay still as a corpse.

  Maddy could think of no way to ease his madness. So she opened one of the curtains, sat in the square of dull, grey light, and read. “Once upon a time, there were twelve princesses, who wore out the soles of their shoes every night…” By the time she got to the scene where the old knight outsmarted the youngest princess by pouring his drugged wine into a potted plant, Lotte was calling them both.

  “Breakfast, darlings!”

  Marcus leapt from his bed and took Maddy by the hand. “Forget it. It doesn’t matter any more.” His eyes were bloodshot and his skin clammy, but his voice was resolute. “I don’t care whether it’s me, I don’t care. I won’t lose you to a beast.”

  16: A Proposal

  Breakfast that morning was a feast of soggy eggs, blackened sausages, and dry biscuits. Lotte apologized for the lateness of the meal and the poor state of the food, explaining again that she had released the staff for a few days due to the illness of her son. Every time she mentioned Marcus, he muttered, “I’m fine,” in a tone that suggested to everyone else at the table he was not.

  Will piled eggs onto his plate with a meaningful grin. “This looks delicious,” he said. It didn’t, but Will didn’t seem to notice. “I’ll need all the energy I can get today. I’ll be facing more death threats than usual, no doubt.” He shot a smile at Marcus, who glowered back. “I didn’t warn any of my clients before I left. Though, I’m not as worried about the magicians. Our gentry are far more ferocious than our rogues. I’ll catch up and be back in a day or two. This trip might be bad for business, but who could resist such a gracious hostess?”

  “Ha!” Marcus sneered at the tailor. “You call what you do business?”

  Will pointed his fork at Marcus. “You know, you’re the angriest boy I’ve ever met. Let me give you a word of friendly advice. Don’t burn your bridges so carelessly. You might need someone like me one day.”

  “For what?” Marcus laughed.

  “Marcus!” Lotte stood, her face growing paler by the minute. “Please.”

  “What? He thinks he’s going to lecture me? He thinks I’ll need someone like him one day? I’m no magician, and I certainly won’t be hiring him for any of his other services.”

  “Not a magician?” Will swallowed another mouthful of food. “That’s not what I hear. I hear you fouled up a little experimental spell you did on your sister and lost your mind because of it.”

  Now it was Marcus’ turn to reproach his mother. He did so with a single look that sent her sinking into her chair. “Mother,” he said, “you always talk too much when you drink.”

  Lotte tore at her thumbnail with her teeth. “Oh, why does everything have to be so serious?”

  While everyone else focused on Lotte, Maddy watched Eli, who continued to eat without saying a word. His eyes greedily drank in the fretful, knowing glances between mother and son. Maddy could not see how anything would ever escape his attention. She hoped Marcus wouldn’t do anything stupid, but her hopes were crushed when he opened his mouth again.

  “Well, Mother, I have some news that might cheer you.” Marcus stood, planted both palms on the table, and beamed. “Do you want to hear it? It’ll make you so happy. I know it will.”

  Lotte gazed up at her son as though he were about to announce his plan to murder the queen. As it turned out, she’d underestimated his madness. His announcement was far worse.

  “I’m going to marry my sister.”

  Lotte dropped her chin to her chest.

  Will snorted, choked on his coffee and pounded the table in a vain attempt to stifle his laughter.

  Eli frowned. “Shouldn’t you be asking permission of her father?” he said in a tone that would have sent any sane boy back into his seat.

  But Marcus was far from discouraged. “Oh? And who might that be?”

  “Me,” Eli answered, without hesitation.

  “You. If you’re any sort of father to her, you’re the worst sort. As soon as we’re married, I’m taking her as far from you and that deviant you call your protégé as I possibly can.”

  “Who’s the deviant: James or the boy telling me he plans to marry his five-year-old sister?”

  Marcus flushed at that, and Maddy nearly leapt out of her chair. Five years? Was that all the longer she had lived? Her clothes suddenly felt much too tight.

  “She is not a child,” Marcus finally managed.

  “She may not look like one to you, but she is. Please wipe that expression off your face, Lavoie. We both know far more than we’re telling.” Eli winked. “You didn’t think I would deduce that you were instrumental in her recent self-discovery, did you? Your expressions sing clear as crystal, boy. Though, I’m still questioning how you came by the information, in the first place. Perhaps my general’s tongue was loosened the day he decided to make a son of his slave. Still you should remember your place and practice more caution when you speak to those in authority.”

  “I know my place,” Marcus said, barely masking his rage. “Because of people like you, I won’t ever forget it. But let’s speak frankly, since we’re all aware. Maddy is a golem. She is neither capable of childhood, nor has she ever been a legal member of the Lavoie family. Don’t pretend otherwise. You won’t shame me into changing my mind. I’m not as easily manipulated as the rest of Frieden.”

  Eli dropped his fork and Lotte lost all the color in her pretty, round cheeks. It was clear to everyone there that Marcus had said too much.

  “Marcus darling, I think maybe you should have stayed in bed,” Lotte said.

  “No, Mother, I’m fine. It’s all right now. I’ve made a decision. I don’t need to be released from any curse. I may be burdened with the heart of a beast, but it’s a heart and I’ll use it the way I choose to use it. It’s mine now, do you hear?”

  “Marcus,” Lotte moaned, “you’re breaking my heart.”

  “That’s impossible, Mother. Your heart was broken years ago; it hasn’t worked since. That’s why you’ll never love me or anyone else.” Maddy watched, open-mouthed and silent, as Marcus carved their mother to pieces. “I would rather have the beast’s heart than yours,” he said.

  Lotte passed a hand before her eyes, but quickly put it down again. Her lips trembled from sorrow or rage—no one could tell which. “Madeleine,” she said, “please tell your brother to go to his room. He won’t listen to me. Tell him to stay there, will you? For your mother?”

  Maddy nodded and pretended to write in her book. As she showed the blank page to Marcus, she bowed her head and muttered, “Marcus, go to your room and stay there for a while.” As an afterthought, she added, “Please.”

  Without another word, Marcus turned from the table and left. Maddy watched after him. When she could no longer hear his footsteps, she wrote to her mother. I will release him from his curse. I think I know what I have to do.

  Lotte nodded, brushed a tear from her cheek, and excused herself from the table.

  When she was sure Eli was watching her face, Maddy said, “I need speak to you, privately.”

  Eli nodded. “Follow me.”

  ***

  Charlotte Lavoie didn’t work her land for anything more substantial than a small vegetable garden and orchard. She lived quite comfortably off the pension she received from the palace. The Queen of Silence paid her soldiers’ widows remarkably well, and this was a credit to her, even among other nations. So work consisted of garden care, horse care, and a decorative stone wall Eli had been building around the house.

  Maddy followed the duke all morning like a faithful dog, waiting to speak with him. Every once in a while, he asked for her help, but for the most part, he worked alone. His mind seemed to be elsewhere, and Maddy often thought
he might have forgotten she was there at all. Still she waited and followed him until he decided to break from his work.

  In the cold grey of the afternoon, he pulled a badly packed lunch from his pockets and turned to Maddy. “You know, I hadn’t thought to bring something for you. Has James eaten?”

  Maddy felt the pain in her stomach and shook her head.

  Eli sighed. “That boy. Doesn’t he know he’s making you uncomfortable? I’ll be sure to scold him properly when he returns. I suppose it doesn’t matter whether you eat. You’ll feel hungry until he does. We can ride to the river, if you like. It will give us some privacy, and the horses need to be run, anyway.”

  She nodded.

  “Good.”

  In all the time Maddy had with Eli that morning, she’d learned little about him. She’d spent the silent hours he gave her to think about what she would say to him that afternoon—what she would reveal and what secrets she would keep. So when they finally dismounted and sat on a fallen tree opposite each other, she did not hesitate to start.

  “Your Grace,” she said, when she had his attention. “Can you restore my memory?”

  Eli expressed no shock at her question. In fact, he looked as though he expected it. “I can,” he said. “Years ago, I gave you a name. Only you and I know it. That name is the key to your mind. Should I ever address you by that name, all your memories will return to you.”

  So it was as easy as that. Any moment, the man could speak one word to Maddy, and her world would change. She might find a way to release Marcus from his curse, or she might be destroyed. Her courage wavered. She did not want her life to end so soon. But then, she had already lived longer than she ought to have, hadn’t she? She thought of Joseph, who had been created to protect a people. His life had ended after he finished his task, but what was her task? Who was she to protect? Jas only waited to kill her. Father Androcles wanted to use her in his own holy war. She began peeling bark from the tree, one little strip at a time. Marcus was the only person to whom she could give something real. Why shouldn’t she risk everything for him?