by Nella Tyler
That bothered me. Did he think that just because he had money he could flaunt authority? Did he think that just because he was a billionaire he could do whatever he wanted and get away with it? I didn't like that kind of an attitude in anyone, let alone someone I had grown fond of.
A myriad of emotions ran through me, as I got ready for work. I was somewhat worried that the minute I clocked in, I would be called upstairs, too. Just because nothing had happened yesterday didn’t mean something couldn’t happen today. For several moments, I rued the day that Ben had come up to my table and claimed it as his. I rued the fact that I had allowed myself to be charmed, attracted to him, and yes, that I had begun to fall for him. I felt a great deal of affection for him, but right now that affection was coupled with an enormous sense of annoyance, anger, and even betrayal.
Every time I thought of him asking me to help him cheat, I could do nothing but shake my head in disbelief, discouragement, and disappointment. How could he? How could he possibly have the audacity, the balls, to ask someone such a question? Did he think I was so google-eyed at him or swayed by the fact that he had money?
I suppose I couldn't blame him for thinking that of many women he went out with, but I had made it clear that his money held no sway over me. Yes, I had enjoyed our time together. Yes, I had enjoyed going to nice restaurants. But to be honest, I had enjoyed downtime just as well.
By the time I got to work that evening, my head was throbbing. As I put my purse into my locker, I pulled the aspirin bottle from it and, clutching three aspirins in my hand, walked to the nearby water fountain and swallowed them. It was going to be a long night, no doubt about it. Just as I was turning to leave the break room where we clocked in and where my locker was located, in walked Savannah.
"Savannah!" I said. "I've been trying to get a hold of you all day."
"Really? I guess my battery’s dead. I'll check it."
She walked right past me to her locker, her attitude rather cool. What the hell? "Savannah? What’s wrong?"
"I'm running late, Maggie, and if I don't get to my table on time tonight, I'm going to be in trouble."
This wasn't like her at all. I glanced at my watch, realized that she had plenty of time to get to her table. "Savannah, we need to talk." She glanced at me impatiently.
"I don't have time right now, Maggie, okay?" She quickly stuffed her purse and a lightweight sweater into her locker and then slammed it shut.
To my surprise, she began to walk out without even glancing back at me. What the hell? "When’s your break?" I asked.
She shrugged. "I don't know."
I frowned. Savannah always knew exactly when her breaks were scheduled because that’s when she stepped outside for a smoke. Something was definitely going on. I hurried and tried to catch up with her as she left the breakroom and hurried across the casino floor, weaving her way among the customers. I reached for her arm, not to grab her, but just to touch it and capture her attention. She spun on me so fast that I stopped. The expression on her face startled me.
"Seriously, Maggie, I've got a get to my table!"
She turned around and strode off. Unbidden, I felt the sting of tears in my eyes. What the hell? First Ben and now Savannah? I wanted to get to the bottom of this, but she was ignoring me. It appeared she didn't want to have anything to do with me. I slowly made my way to my table and began to work, forcing my thoughts away from anything that had to do with Ben, Savannah, or cheating. I was polite to my customers, paid attention to the deals, and basically minded my own business.
I tried once more to see what was going on with Savannah during my break. It did happen to coincide with mine. Moments earlier, I had seen her go outside with her cigarettes and a lighter.
I opened the back door and found her standing under the pool of the light attached to the side of the building. Smoke rose into the air. "Savannah, I need to talk to you-"
"I can't talk to you, Maggie," she hissed. She lifted her cigarette to her mouth and inhaled deeply. “If we talk about any of this right now, we’re both gone to get fired."
I felt my heart sink. Shit. Savannah knew something, although I had no idea what that something was. Had she been called up to the office? Did she suspect something of me? I didn't know and it bothered me immensely. Once again, I quickly returned to my table after my break and just focused on work. I expected one of the pit bosses to come up to me and say something at any moment. I expected a tap on my shoulder. I don't think my heart rate decelerated for the entire evening or the remainder of my shift.
It was extremely difficult to hold back the tears, to prevent myself from becoming overwhelmed by my emotions and my uncertainties. Damn Ben! As the evening wore on, I became increasingly frustrated with the situation, even though I didn't even know or fully understand what the situation involved. Was I in trouble? Had Ben been coerced to say something? Did the management suspect that I knew something about Ben’s card counting? It was impossible to know. It was that very uncertainty that pretty soon had my nerves so frayed that all I wanted to do was get out – to finish out my shift and get the heck out of Dodge.
I barely managed to hold onto my emotions for the remainder of my shift and heaved a sigh of relief when it was over. I knew Savannah would be finished soon, but I didn't bother waiting around for her. I knew she didn't want to talk to me right now – she had said that she couldn't. I knew the cameras were everywhere, so I didn't even want to risk it. I was still trying to decide whether Savannah had sounded more concerned than angry, but I wasn't quite sure. It could've been both.
Worry gnawed at my brain. What did she know about all this? Had management spoken to her? Had they questioned her about me? That was the problem. I didn't know and it was driving me crazy. Once again, I returned home, my emotions in turmoil. How long would this go on? I decided that tomorrow morning I would go to Savannah's apartment where we could talk in private. I needed to know what was going on, good or bad. I wanted to know whether I needed to start looking for another job.
I hadn't received any texts or phone calls from Ben, and I was torn between being pleased and feeling it was good riddance. Not even an apology? Not even an explanation other than he wanted the thrill he thought he could gain by cheating? What I needed was an explanation as to why he would even have considered asking me to do such a thing. Unbelievable!
By the time I got home, I was upset all over again. I took a long, hot shower, once again crying my eyes out. I had to get the stress out, had to achieve some sort of relief before I even tried to go to sleep. Nevertheless, I tossed and turned for several hours before I once again fell into a fitful sleep. I had nightmares of being carted out of the casino in handcuffs and thrown in jail, where I would spend the rest of my life.
*
The next morning, I was up just before dawn, not because I wanted to be, but because I was tired of not being able to sleep. I got up, turned the television on low, brewed a pot of coffee, and then sat on the couch moping and staring unseeing at the television screen for a couple of hours.
At some point, I dozed off because the next time I opened my eyes the sun was bright in the living room. I glanced at the clock and realized it was nearly ten o’clock. While I knew Savannah usually didn't get up until about eleven, I still had to take a shower, get dressed, and run a couple of errands. Maybe when I finished, I would run by her apartment and see if she would be willing to talk to me there.
It kind of miffed me that she had brushed me off last night, as if I was a pariah. Did she have to act that way? Did she have to be so rude? Couldn't she have just whispered something in the locker room, warning me that something was up, and then suggest that we get together today for a couple of coffee and talk about it? I began to wonder what the hell was going on and the thoughts and ideas I was coming up with were far from pleasant.
By the time I finished all my chores and run my errands, it was nearly eleven-thirty in the morning. I knew for a certainty that Savanna would be up, so I drove t
o her apartment complex. I saw her car in the parking lot. She lived upstairs, and from the courtyard where the swimming pool was situated, I saw that her living room curtains were open. She was up. I made my way up the cement steps from the courtyard up to the second floor, and then made my way toward her apartment. I knocked on the door. No answer. I knocked again, more loudly.
After several moments, I heard footsteps on the other side of the door. I saw a shadow over the peephole. I knew she was home, looking at me. I smiled, trying to act like nothing was the matter. Was that a sigh I had heard coming from the other side of the door? Finally, I heard the deadbolt unlatch, the doorknob turn, and then she opened the door a couple of inches.
"Let me in, Savannah. We have to talk."
She peered over my shoulder, to make sure that no one was with me. I frowned and began to grow alarmed. "Savannah, what the hell is going on?" To my surprise, she grabbed my hand and quickly pulled me into the apartment and then closed the door.
She stared at me a moment, and then sighed, gesturing that I sit on the sofa. I did.
Want a cup of coffee?" she asked, almost reluctantly.
"No, I don't. I want to know what the hell is going on." She said nothing, but stood there, deciding whether she would say anything. Finally, she shrugged. I decided to just come out with the question I needed answered. It might explain everything. "Savannah, I can't quite remember, but did I give you any indication that I believed that Ben was counting cards?"
Reluctantly, she nodded.
"Did you tell someone at the casino about my suspicions?" To my horrified surprise, she nodded again. "Oh my God, Savannah-"
"I didn't tell them that you suspected it, but that I suspected it," she interrupted.
I opened my eyes wide, my heart pumping, and my mind in a dither. "But why?” I gasped. “Why would you do such a thing? That was a private conversation, not meant for anyone but the two of us!" Savannah began to pace the small living room in front of me.
"I admit I told one of the pit bosses about a suspicion that Ben was counting cards, but I only did it to help you."
"To help me?" I gasped again. I was stunned. "How the hell does that help me? What are you talking about?"
She sighed and quit pacing. “After you told me that Ben asked you to help him cheat, I tried to figure out a way that we could make him go away. All I did was try to make it so that you didn't have to see Ben anymore."
"But you didn't have to say anything of the sort!" I exclaimed. "You and I both know what happens to people who are accused of cheating-"
"And I was trying to get you out of a situation where his presence might make you do just that!"
I shook my head, shocked that she would think such a thing of me. "I already told you that I had no intention of helping him! Why do you think I told him to take back all that stuff he bought me? I-"
"I knew you never would, but I also knew how difficult and awkward Ben was making it for you. I know you like the guy. You don't have to say anything. I can see it in your eyes!"
I sighed and buried my face in my hands. "Oh my God, Savannah, do you know what you've done? I could've worked everything out by myself, without the entire casino management knowing Ben was cheating. I only thought he was… I had no proof! You do know that he was banned from the casino, don't you?"
Savannah frowned. "Well, of course I do, Maggie. That was the whole point, wasn't it?"
I sighed and shook my head. "I can't believe this. It's gone from bad to worse!"
"You don't have to be so ungrateful about it," she complained. "After all, I was only trying to help you. Do you realize that I put myself under suspicion just talking about it?"
I frowned, shaking my head again. "He's been at my Blackjack table for the past month or so," I exclaimed. "Do you know that now I’ll be under scrutiny, as well? I'm surprised I haven't been dragged upstairs to answer a bunch of questions!"
"But you don't have anything to worry about, Maggie," she protested. "We all know that you are trustworthy-"
"You know I could very easily have helped Ben cheat, if I had wanted to. You also know that I just wouldn't do that, not ever!" I rose from the sofa, infuriated. "I didn't tell you that stuff so that you could go and blab it to management, Savannah! I was just telling you to get it out, to have someone to talk to.” I felt the emotion choking me. A hard lump formed in my throat and tears filled my eyes. “I can't believe you told someone-"
"I told you why I did it, Maggie!" Savannah shot back. "I thought you'd be grateful, not mad."
I sighed. "Oh my God, this is awful. I never intended for any of this to happen.” I heaved a shaky sigh. “Like I said, I can handle Ben and I did. I told him under no circumstances would I ever, ever help him cheat. He knows that, and as far as I was concerned, the topic was closed."
"But you are still seeing him, aren’t you? After all, he's so rich and handsome-"
I waved a hand in dismay. "I don't give a shit about how rich he is or how handsome he is…” I said. "I told him I wasn't going to help him cheat and there was nothing he could say or do that was going to get me to change my mind.” I stared at my friend in disappointment. “I thought you knew me better than that."
Savannah gestured, her hands out to her sides. "I was only trying to help, Maggie-"
"I get that, Savannah, but now you're being watched, I'm probably being watched, and now we can’t even speak to each other at the casino without raising suspicion. You know very well that the eyes in the sky and the security teams now know all about the accusations. We saw security take Ben upstairs. When you cast suspicion on him, you also cast suspicion on me, and by default, even on yourself."
She said nothing. I had nothing left to say. It had all been said. I just shook my head, amazed that things had gone from bad to worse – again. My stomach was in knots and I had a sick feeling in my belly. What would happen when I showed up for work tonight? Did I have to walk on eggshells now, wondering when security, the pit boss, or someone from upper management started watching me, coming to my table, making sure that I wasn't being tempted to cheat?
"Oh my God, this is so horrible," I groaned. "I've got a go get ready for work.” I stared at Savannah. “If I still have a job, that is."
Without saying another word, I left Savannah's apartment, closing the door softly behind me. Once again I found myself blinking back tears. My best friend had inadvertently made things worse. Ben was banished from the casino. It felt strange to know that I wouldn't see his grin, his smiling face, or listen to his pleasant conversations with the players. Now, I had to be even more careful of everything I said, everything I did. There was no doubt in my mind that the pit bosses and security would be watching me closely through their bubble cameras for any signs or indications that I couldn't be trusted.
Great. Things just kept getting better and better.
Chapter 3
I couldn't believe I had actually fallen asleep last night. It must've been pushing four o’clock in the morning by the time I quit looking at the clock, tossing and turning. My emotions were all over the place. I was infuriated with Savannah, and despite what she claimed were her best intentions, I wasn't sure whether to believe her or not. Why would she have done that? Why did she care about how I was dealing with Ben? She had not only put herself in jeopardy, but me, as well. And, she claimed it was because she wanted to help me get rid of Ben?
I hadn’t exactly told her I wanted to dump Ben, but that I was uncomfortable with the situation, which didn’t mean to imply that I couldn’t handle it myself. I was a big girl. For crying out loud, I had only been venting to Savannah, not asking her to solve my problems for me!
To make matters worse, I realize I owed Ben an apology. I had said something about his counting cards, even though inadvertently, to someone else. When I had spoken to him earlier, I had completely forgotten that I had said something about it to Savannah. Not really surprising, considering my state of mind lately. I hadn't had any intention of tell
ing anyone about it, or allowing anyone else to find out about it, let alone the casino staff!
By the middle of the morning, I had showered and then paced my apartment numerous times over, trying to figure out what the hell I was going to do. I realized that my job might be in serious jeopardy and I probably wouldn't even find out until I showed up for work. Unless, of course, I got a call telling me not to bother coming in or to come in and pick up my termination papers and paycheck.
The thought of being terminated left me feeling sick to my stomach. I had no backup plan, nowhere to turn. What if I ended up sleeping in my car? Homeless?
Regardless of what had happened or how, I did realize that my first order of business would be to attempt to apologize to Ben. What happened after that would happen. I had to let the chips fall where they may. It didn't make anything that he had done up to this point okay. In fact, if he hadn't mentioned my helping him cheat in the first place, all of this wouldn't have happened.
It was like a domino had been tipped, and now, one after the other, bits and pieces of my life were falling apart. I wavered between wishing that Ben had never even shown up at the casino, let alone my Blackjack table, and wondering why all of this was happening to me. Why now? Was this is a test? Was this ordeal supposed to make me stronger, to encourage me to work harder? To quit my job at the casino?
Maybe it was time for me to consider taking on the burden of a loan and go back to school. Maybe I could get a job as a waitress or something. In fact, maybe it was time for me to go pick up a newspaper to look through the classifieds or look online for another kind of work.
This casino business had turned my life upside down. By eleven o'clock in the morning, I was a stressed-out bundle of nerves. However, I had worked up enough courage to go over to Ben’s mansion. I was going to take my car, but then changed my mind. I was running low on gas. If I was going to be fired this evening or anytime soon, I needed to be conservative with money. I decided to take the bus as I still had some credit on my bus card.