Pieces of Love

by PJ Sharon

  “Do you want to ride with her to the hospital?” One of the medics yelled over the noise.

  My mouth went instantly dry, the thought of flying bringing on a rolling wave of nausea. Ethan must have seen the expression on my face. Before he could decline on my behalf, I grabbed his hand and pulled him into the helicopter. I sucked in a breath and said one more prayer to Mary as we lifted off the ground and my stomach lurched.

  Chapter 33

  By the time the chopper set down on the roof of the hospital in Izmir, my nerves were frayed. My legs wobbled as Ethan helped me climb down and pulled me away from the thunder and wind created by the whirling blades. Despite wanting desperately to drop and kiss the rooftop, I took up a spot alongside the stretcher and followed Maddie inside the building and onto the elevator. Her face was pale beneath the oxygen mask. Only her blue eyes, filled with fear and edged with pain, stared out, looking for something—someone—to hold onto.

  “I’m right here, Maddie. You’re going to be fine.” I clutched her hand in mine, trying to pour life into her frail body. The words sounded hollow in my ears, as if someone else were speaking. The voice was sure and strong—two qualities far from me at that moment. Maddie nodded and closed her eyes. The medic pushed me aside. Forced to release her hand, I drifted into the corner of the elevator to make room for them to work. Ethan ducked in beside me.

  When the elevator doors opened, the medics handed the gurney off to a bustling group of doctors and nurses, all dressed in green scrubs and speaking a foreign language, which cut me out of the conversation completely. Ethan grabbed my arm as I tried to follow them down the hall.

  “We need to let them work.” He looked over his shoulder. “There’s a waiting area over there.” His head tipped toward a spot down the hall in the opposite direction. Chairs lined the walls and magazines lay fanned out on a coffee table next to a vending machine. I looked back toward the giant double doors that had just swallowed Maddie. The knot in my chest tightened.

  “What if...what if she doesn’t make it?” I couldn’t bring myself to say the word that flooded my mind.

  Ethan slipped his hand into mine and stepped in close, forcing me to meet his gaze. “Maddie’s a tough lady. She’s going to pull through this. I think we got her here in time.” In spite of his words of reassurance, his face held deep concern.

  Tears erupted and all the tension from the past hour rushed out in a flood. Her collapse, Ethan jumping in to perform CPR, waiting for help to arrive, and the dips and twists of the forever-seeming helicopter ride. Remembering the sensations of the flight over the mountains and across the foreign landscape, a queasiness rolled through my insides. My legs threatened to buckle but Ethan wrapped his arm around my waist, leading me to the waiting area to sit down before I collapsed.

  “I don’t know what I’ll do if she...” A sob escaped my lips even as the word stuck in my throat. Ethan lowered me to a chair and settled into a seat beside me. Despite the warm hands surrounding my icy fingers, a cold numbness seeped into my bones. “I can’t lose her,” I whispered. “I just found her...”

  “Don’t even think like that.” Ethan rubbed my hands between his as if trying to warm them and shake me out of the shock I was in. Every nerve inside me crackled like burning embers waiting to ignite the next piece of fuel that came my way. I stared down the hall at the doors, willing someone to come through them to tell me Maddie was going to be all right. My knee bounced furiously until I popped up off the chair.

  “I can’t sit here and do nothing,” I cried, tears burning to the surface again as I wrung my hands together.

  “Try to stay calm, Lexi. Maddie wouldn’t want you to be all upset like this. It won’t do her any good for you to fall apart. You need to stay strong.”

  “I don’t know if I can.” My face fell into my hands as my shoulders shook. I turned away to hide my pitiful display of weakness. He was right. Maddie needed me to be strong. Mom and Mitch were continents away and I was on my own to make whatever decisions had to be made for Maddie’s care. She needed me to be tough and there I was, crying like a baby and thinking about myself and how much I would be hurt if she...died. Reining in my emotions, anger rode to the surface and the realization hit me. I hadn’t told her I loved her. I’d waited too long—just as I had with Amanda. “I can’t go through this again,” I said, dropping fisted hands to my sides and clamping down on my tears. I wiped my cheeks with the backs of my hands as I stared out the window at nothing.

  In the next second, Ethan was behind me, his arms wrapped around my waist in a tight embrace that instantly shored up my quivering limbs. “You aren’t alone in this, Lex.” He turned me around and pulled me to his chest, where I gladly buried my face and let him stroke my hair, drawing strength from the steady beat of his heart against my ear. Whatever happened up to now was beyond my control. But what I did have control over was how I handled what came next. I clung to Ethan for a long minute and then reluctantly pushed away with a sigh.

  “Thanks for the pep talk. I needed it.” I held his hand and mustered a small smile. “I mean it. I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t been there today. You were really amazing. If anyone is responsible for saving Maddie’s life it’s you. The way you jumped in and started CPR, contacted your dad and got that helicopter—that was really something.”

  A slight pink tinge crept up Ethan’s neck. “I just reacted—that’s all. I figured it was as good a time as any to call my dad out on what he owed me. I told him if he did this for me, we’d be square.” He looked at a clock on the wall. “I only hope he comes through. He said he would come as soon as he could get on the Embassy jet. He probably needed all kinds of clearances to fly into Turkey. No telling how long it will be before he’s here.” Seeing the look of panic that rose on my face, he added, “I’m sure Maddie’s in good hands.”

  I hoped he was right. The corridor was now quiet and empty, and the hospital, though clean and smelling of antiseptic, seemed small and not at all what I was used to seeing in the States. Before I had a chance to voice my opinion, a tall, round faced man in a white lab coat pushed through the double doors and headed our way. It took all my strength not to rush him, but Ethan’s hand in mine held me in place.

  “I am Doctor Rossoff,” said the man as he tugged off his surgical cap, revealing a short curly mop of black hair. His long craggy nose and deep set, dark eyes, identified him as Turkish as much as his thick accent and broken English. “The patient is your grandmother, no?”

  I nodded, my mouth dry and my palms clammy.

  “Mrs. Hartman is stable and has been moved to our cardiac care unit. We will monitor her closely. She is a very lucky woman. If treatment was not started so quickly, she would not have made it.”

  I flashed a sincere look of gratitude at Ethan and then addressed the doctor. “When can I see her?”

  “Mrs. Hartman is not out of danger yet. We need to do further testing, but I believe she will need bypass surgery. She says this was not her first heart attack, and I suspect we will find blockage of her arteries. I’ll have more information for you after we complete our tests.”

  A nurse came up behind the doctor and handed me a clipboard. Dr. Rossoff smiled reassuringly. “The best you can do for your grandmother is to be patient and wait, fill out the required forms, and perhaps get something to eat in our café down on the first floor.” Speaking Turkish, the doctor instructed the nurse and then turned to me and Ethan again. “Our nursing staff will assist you with any questions. Most speak some amount of English. Please be patient with the language barrier.” He turned to leave.

  Ethan called after him. “Doctor, did my father, Martin Kaswell, contact you about consulting on the case?”

  The doctor turned halfway and remained in mid-stance. “I did receive a call asking to grant Doctor Kaswell hospital access, but I’m sure you understand how unusual a request that is on such short notice. His participation needs to be approved by our administrators. It seems the Fren
ch Embassy is working to expedite the process, but none of that will matter if Mrs. Hartman takes a turn for the worse and we need to move forward with surgery before Doctor Kaswell arrives. We will do everything possible to include him in our plan of care, but rest assured, we are quite capable of caring adequately for our patients.”

  A strong sense of pride rolled off the doctor, and he was obviously insulted by the prospect of a foreigner moving in on his turf. Before Ethan and I could respond, he added, “Why don’t we take things one step at a time? I’ll keep you updated on your grandmother’s progress.” He nodded formally, turned away, and walked briskly down the hall. He disappeared behind the double doors again, leaving me holding a clipboard with paperwork written in what I assumed was Turkish, the pages covered in artful swirls, dots, and slashes. I sighed and lowered myself into a stiff, hard backed chair.

  “What if your father doesn’t make it in time?”

  Ethan stared after the doctor as the door swung shut, his brows pulled together in a frown. “He’d better make it—and soon. If anything happens to Maddie, he’ll have more to deal with than me never speaking to him again.”

  Chapter 34

  “This waiting is killing me,” I groaned, slumping into a chair in the large but stuffy cafeteria. Tables crowded with workers and visitors filled the room. Everyone spoke in Turkish, as chaotic a spoken language as it was in written form. Ethan placed a cup of aromatic tea in front of me, the tea bag floating in the darkening water. I mindlessly played with the string, watching the bag bob up and down.

  Ethan’s phone chirped out a tune. We both froze. Gingerly, as if handling a detonation device, he answered. His face remained stern for several seconds as the person on the other end spoke. Then his shoulders relaxed and a small smile appeared. “Great. We’ll see you in an hour. And Dad...thanks.” Hanging up, he tucked the phone back in his pants pocket. “He has to go through customs but should be here in a little while.”

  I let out a slow breath. “Thank God. I’m sure Doctor Rossoff is good, but Maddie deserves the best.” This bit of good news bolstered my mood better than anything could—other than seeing Maddie. My heart squeezed when I thought of her on her own in a room with all those doctors and nurses poking and prodding at her and running all kinds of tests. “Maddie must be freaking out,” I said, my smile dimming.

  “We’ll get you in to see her as soon as possible, okay? Look, here comes the doctor now.”

  I turned to see Doctor Rossoff approaching. The expression on his face sent my stomach plummeting.

  "Miss Hartman, we need to talk.” His words crawled along my skin and lifted the hairs at the base of my neck. As he pulled up a chair, my worry meter shot through the roof. “Your grandmother does have significant arterial blockage. She needs bypass surgery immediately. Although there are always risks with any kind of surgical procedure, I assure you, I have done this many times before with good success.” He slipped the paperwork in front of me. “I need your permission as her nearest relative to proceed with surgery.”

  My mouth went dry and sweat broke out on my forehead. “I can’t make this decision,” I said, my hand too shaky to reach for the pen. “I’m not even eighteen.” I looked to Ethan.

  “Can’t the surgery wait an hour? My father is on his way.”

  “I’m afraid that waiting any longer will put Mrs. Hartman at risk for further damage to her heart or may even possibly cause a stroke. She isn’t getting enough blood flow and oxygen to her brain and other organs. Left untreated, her organs may begin to shut down or she could sustain permanent damage.” Seeing my expression turn to panic he rushed to add, “Since your grandmother is from outside our country, the circumstances are complicated, but out of respect for your wishes as her closest relative, we will wait. I am simply giving you an update on her current condition. For the moment, it is still up to you whether I proceed.”

  The only other life and death decision I’d ever had to make was when I knew my sister was in too deep and I decided to keep my mouth shut. I’d made the wrong choice then. What made anyone think I was capable of making the right choice now? I shook my head.

  “I need to call my mom.”

  The doctor looked as if he wanted to argue, but instead, simply nodded and walked away, leaving me again with the clipboard—and the weight of the world on my shoulders.

  ∞∞∞

  It took over fifteen minutes to get through to Mitch and have him get me in touch with Mom—at my hysterical insistence and against his better judgment. When I finally heard my mother’s voice, I broke down all over again. Through intermittent hiccups, I choked out the details leading up to the current crisis. “I don’t know what to do.” The uncontrollable trembling in my body carried into my words.

  “Try to stay calm, Ali. Is anyone there with you?” Even though I knew my mother was in a hospital recovering from a nervous breakdown and that I shouldn’t be depending on her for stability and support, the sound of her familiar voice gave me an instantaneous burst of strength. I pulled myself together enough for a conversation.

  “Ethan Kaswell is here with me.” Briefly explaining who Ethan was, I looked over to see him standing by a window watching me intently. Hollow eyes showed not only how worried he was for Maddie, but how much he cared for me. In only a few short weeks, it seemed he had become part of our family. My heart swelled as he nodded reassuringly and a small smile curved his lips. I relayed my dilemma regarding Ethan’s father and the decision I was faced with.

  “Is this Doctor Kaswell really the best?” Mom sounded unsure, making me falter in my resolve.

  “Ethan seems to think so...and I trust him.” What I didn’t say was that Doctor Kaswell’s track record for being a man of his word was more than a little shoddy. If I decided to wait for him and he didn’t show up, it could cost Maddie her life. My heart tripped into overdrive and I took a shuddering breath. “Please, Mom, tell me what to do.”

  “I never thought I’d hear you say those words.”

  An involuntary laugh escaped my lips. “Me either.”

  “I’m sorry I’m not there to help, but I can’t tell you what to do. You have to trust your instincts. I know you’ll make the right decision,” she added. Her voice faltered. “You were right. After what happened to...Amanda, I overreacted. I’ve been suffocating you and I have to start trusting you.”

  “Now you want to trust me?” I wanted to revel in hearing those words but disappointment and frustration seeped in. “I don’t know if I can do this.”

  “Yes, you can,” she argued, her voice strained. “It sounds like it’s out of your hands anyway. If this Doctor Kaswell doesn’t get there soon, the doctor in charge will have to do what he thinks is best.”

  “I suppose you’re right,” I sighed.

  “Wow, another first,” she said with a weak laugh. A moment of silence later, she added, “I’ve missed you, kiddo.”

  “I...I’ve missed you too,” I said, my throat tightening as I held back another round of tears and tried to sound strong. “How are you feeling, anyway? Will you be able to go home soon?”

  “I think so. I’m hoping to be there when you get back. Mitch really misses you, too.”

  “I bet,” I snorted. My old snarkiness came through and I immediately regretted it. “I’m...sorry, Mom. I didn’t mean that. I know I’ve been a pain in the butt this past year, and you and Mitch have only been trying to help.”

  A long silence had me wondering if we’d been disconnected, but before I could ask if she’d heard me, she responded, “I’m glad to hear you say that, sweetie. I hope you know how much we love you.” Her voice broke and I could tell she was crying. “It’s been so hard—without your sister—”

  “I know, Mom. Please don’t cry. I’m going to do better when I get home—I promise. I’ll go to those stupid rehab classes and I’ll work harder in school. It’ll be okay.” By now I was crying right along with her.

  Ethan crossed the cafeteria in three strides and took
the phone from my hand. After a few words of consolation to my mother, he hung up. “Are you okay?”

  I nodded and sniffled, wiping my nose with a crumpled tissue that was in need of replacement. He wrapped an arm around my shoulder and walked me back to the waiting room. It wasn’t long before Doctor Rossoff found us.

  “Your grandmother is stable for the moment.”

  “Can I see her?” Despite my mother’s leaving the decision to me, I wanted Maddie’s opinion if it was at all possible. It really should be left up to her and not a sixteen year-old who couldn’t even make sensible choices about what shoes to wear. Peering down at my flip-flops, I suddenly felt young and wanted nothing more than to be at home in my room, even if it meant I was grounded for life or forced to attend meetings for the next six months. All of the problems I had been dealing with for the past year seemed distant and less important than they had even a few days ago.

  “Mrs. Hartman is sedated, but I can let you in to see her for a few minutes.” He nodded to Ethan. “I’m sorry, but only family members are allowed.”

  I released Ethan’s hand and sent him a reassuring smile, then I followed the doctor back down the long hall and through the big double doors—once again trying to imagine what lay beyond them. My heart raced as I looked back and watched my tether to sanity grow further away. The doors swung shut behind me, and Ethan disappeared.

  Shocked by the brightness of the light and the sterile conditions, I immediately noticed the white walls, the spotless floors, and the staff members all dressed in green scrubs scurrying along, focused on their various tasks. It all made me a fraction less fearful of putting Maddie’s life in their hands.

  A nurse stood over the hospital bed, blocking my view as I entered the room behind the doctor. He took a medical chart from her hands and they exchanged a brief conversation in Turkish. The sound of their voices faded to the buzzing of insects, and my focus honed in on the beeping monitor beside Maddie’s bed. When she came into full view, I sucked in a breath. Her shiny red hair was now matted, her face a sickening shade of gray. Tubes came out of everywhere. A hard lump formed in my throat and I swallowed past it. Scooting around the bed to a chair on the other side, I lowered myself down on shaking legs and slowly reached for Maddie’s hand.