Midwife...to Mum!

by Sue MacKay

  That had her spine cracking as she straightened too fast. ‘Isn’t that enough? I’m dedicated to my career.’ Apart from shopping for high-end clothes and getting in the minimum of groceries once in a while, what else was there to do?

  ‘Your career shouldn’t be everything. Don’t you ever want a partner? A family? Your own home? Most of us do.’

  ‘I’m not most of you.’

  ‘What about this Flynn? Do you want to see him again?’

  Yes. But she wasn’t about to admit that. ‘No,’ she muttered, hating herself as she lied.

  ‘You haven’t fallen in love with him, have you?’

  And if I have? Ally raised her eyes to Darcie and when she went to deny that suggestion she couldn’t find the words. Not a single one.

  ‘I see. That bad, huh?’ Darcie leaned back in her seat. ‘I don’t know what’s gone on in your life, Ally, and I’m not asking.’ She paused, stared around her beautiful apartment before returning her gaze to Ally. ‘Sometimes we have to take chances.’

  Ally shook her head. ‘Not on love,’ she managed to croak.

  ‘Loving someone can hurt as much as denying that love. But there’s always a chance of having something wonderful if you accept it.’

  There really wasn’t anything she could say to that so she kept quiet.

  The buzzer sounded throughout the apartment, its screech jarring. Darcie stood up. ‘That’s probably Mary from the ward. We’re heading out to St Kilda for a few hours. Want to join us?’

  Ally shook her head. ‘Thanks, but, no, thanks. I’ve got a couple of chores to do and then I’m going to blob out right here. But with coffee, not wine.’

  She tipped her head back and closed her eyes, pulled off the band from her ponytail and shook her hair free. Her hand kneaded the knots in her neck. What was Flynn doing? Had he taken Adam around to see Jacob? Her heart squeezed. I miss you guys already.

  ‘Hello, Ally.’

  She jerked upright. ‘Flynn?’ Couldn’t be. Her imagination had to be working overtime.

  ‘Ally, we came to see you.’ No mistaking that excited shriek. Or the arms that reached for her and held tight.

  Not her imagination, then. Adam was here. Flynn was here. Meaning what? Lifting her head, she stared at the man who’d stolen her heart when it was supposed to be locked away. The man she’d walked away from only hours ago without a word of goodbye or a glance over her shoulder—because any of those actions would’ve nailed her to the floor of his home and she’d still be on Phillip Island.

  Adam tightened his hold. ‘I’m missing you, Ally. You didn’t wait for us.’ Out of the mouths of babes—came the truth.

  Her head dropped so her chin rested on Adam’s head. ‘Adam, sweetheart.’ Then her throat dried and she couldn’t say a word. Finally, after a long moment of trying not to think what this was about, she raised her eyes to find Flynn gazing at her like a thirsty man would a glass of cold water on a hot day. The same emotions she’d been dealing with all day were glittering out from her favourite blue eyes. ‘Flynn,’ she managed.

  ‘Hey.’ He took a step closer. ‘The house didn’t feel the same when we got back from our walk. Kind of empty.’ Flynn didn’t sound angry with her, but he should. She had done a runner.

  She owed him. ‘I’m really sorry but I couldn’t wait.’ If I did I’d never have left. Her heart seemed to have increased its rate to such a level it hurt. ‘It’s an old habit. Get out quick. Don’t look back.’

  Bleakness filled his gaze, his tongue did a lap of his lips. ‘I see.’

  Adam wriggled free of her arms and sat on the floor beside her.

  Flynn didn’t move, just kept watching her.

  Suddenly Ally became very aware that this was the defining moment in her life. Everything she’d faced, battled, conquered, yearned for—it all came down to now and how she handled the situation. She loved Flynn. Before—Gulp. Before she told him—if she found the courage—she had to explain. ‘It’s an ingrained habit because of all those shifts I made as a child. I learned not to stare out the back window of the car as my social worker took me away from my latest family to place me in the midst of more strangers.’

  Flynn crossed to sit in the chair Darcie had been using earlier. He still didn’t say a word, just let her take her time.

  Her chest rose and fell as she spoke. ‘I know it’s not the same as what I did today, that you do care about me and never promised me anything that you haven’t already delivered, but I come pre-conditioned. I’m sorry.’

  ‘You were waiting for one of those families to adopt you.’ Flynn looked so sad it nearly brought on her tears.

  Adam, who shouldn’t be taking the slightest notice of this conversation, stared up at her and asked, ‘What’s adopt mean?’

  ‘Oh, sweetheart. It’s when people give someone else a place in their family, share everything they’ve got, including, and most importantly of all, their hearts.’

  ‘Don’t you have a family?’ He’d understood far too much.

  ‘No, Adam, I don’t.’

  ‘We can adopt you. Can’t we, Dad?’

  Ally’s mouth dropped open. Her stomach tightened in on itself. Her hands clenched on her thighs. What? No. Not possible. He didn’t understand. It wasn’t that simple.

  She leapt up and charged across to the floor-to-ceiling window showcasing Melbourne city. Her heart was thudding hard, and the tears that should’ve run out hours ago started again.

  ‘Ally.’ A familiar hand gripped her shoulder.

  She gasped. ‘You’ve taken your ring off.’ Could she start believing?

  He tugged gently until she gave in and turned around. But she couldn’t look up, couldn’t face the denial of Adam’s silly statement if it was staring at her out of Flynn’s eyes. ‘Ally, look at me. Please.’

  Slowly she raised her head, her eyes downcast, noting the expanse of chest she’d come to know over the last month, the Adam’s apple that moved as Flynn swallowed, that gorgeous mouth that had woken every part of her body and could kiss like no other man she’d known. Expelling all the air in her lungs, she finally met Flynn’s gaze. There was no apology there, no It’s been nice knowing you but we don’t want to know you any more. All she found was love. Genuine love, deep love that spelled a bond and a future if she dared take it.

  ‘Flynn,’ she whispered. ‘I have to tell you something.’ The breath lodged painfully in her chest, but if she was going to gamble, then she had to start by being honest. ‘Today was different. For the first time ever I didn’t want to go. That’s why I ran.’ Tremors rippled through her. This was way too hard. But there was a lot to lose—or gain. A deep breath and she continued. ‘I’ve fallen in love with you. Both of you.’ And then she couldn’t utter another word as tears clogged her throat.

  His arms came around her, held her loosely so he could still watch her face. ‘This is the last time you’re walking away. You’re not on your own any more. You have me, us. We are your family.’ His mouth grazed hers.

  ‘You want to adopt me?’ she croaked against his lips, being flippant because she was afraid to acknowledge what he’d said for fear his words would vaporise in a flash.

  ‘Try amalgamate. We want to bring you in with us, make us a threesome, a family.’

  ‘Amalgamate? Sounds like a business deal.’ But the warmth lacing his voice was beginning to nudge the chill out of her bones. ‘I’ll bring two bags of clothes and my music player and you’ll supply a home.’ She smiled to show she wasn’t having a poke at him. Then she gasped and dashed to her bag to pull out the dogs. ‘Plus these two. I take them everywhere. This time when I put them on the shelf they’ll stay there so long they’ll gather dust.’

  Flynn looked ready to cry. ‘That’s the closest you’ve got to owning a pet?’ His arms came around her again.

  ‘Bonkers, eh?’

  He stepped back, shoved his hand through his hair. ‘You have no idea how much I mean every word. I love you so much it hurts sometimes
.’

  She gasped. Had Flynn said he loved her?

  He hadn’t finished. ‘I could’ve told you that days ago, but I got cold feet. I put Adam before everything else. Which I have to do, but I used him as an excuse not to let you know where my feelings for you were headed. I didn’t want you to leave, yet I didn’t know how to tell you that. I think I was kind of hoping you’d just hang around and that would solve my dilemma.’

  She stared at him as a smile began breaking out across her lips, banishing the sadness that had dominated all day. ‘You said you love me.’

  ‘Yes, Ally, I did. I mean it. I love you.’

  ‘No one’s ever told me that before.’ Oh, my goodness. Flynn loved her. But it wouldn’t feel so warm and thrilling and wonderful if she didn’t love him back. ‘I’ve never loved anyone before.’ There hadn’t been anyone to bestow that gift on. ‘This love is for real, I promise.’

  ‘Hey, I can see it in your eyes. It’s been there for days if only I’d known what to look for.’

  ‘Adam, look away. I’m going to kiss your father.’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘Because I love him.’

  ‘Do you love me?’

  ‘Absolutely.’ She bent down to press a kiss on his forehead. ‘Yes.’ When she straightened Flynn was waiting for her, his arms outstretched to bring her close. His head lowered and his mouth claimed hers.

  This kiss was like no other they’d shared. This was full of promises and love and life.

  ‘How long are you going to kiss Dad?’ Adam tapped her waist.

  ‘For ever,’ she murmured against Flynn’s mouth, before reluctantly pulling away. She was afraid to let him go. She needed to keep reassuring herself he’d always be there.

  Flynn took her hand and laced their fingers together. ‘Want to come home with us for the rest of the weekend?’

  ‘I can’t think of anything I’d rather do.’

  ‘Thank goodness.’ Until he’d relaxed she hadn’t realised how tense he’d become.

  ‘I have to be back here on Monday.’

  He nodded. ‘But now you have a home to go to when you’re not on a job.’

  Her heart turned over. ‘You’re not expecting me to give up working for the midwifery unit, then?’

  ‘You’ll do that when you’re good and ready. We’ve got all the time in the world to learn to live together and for you to feel right at home on the island. I won’t be rushing you, sweetheart.’ Then he really stole her heart with, ‘When I say I love you, I mean through the best times and the worst, through summer, winter and Christmas and birthdays. I’m here for you, with you, Ally, for ever.’

  ‘But what if I fail? This will be new for me.’

  ‘You won’t fail, Ally. You’ll make mistakes.’

  ‘Fine. What happens when I make these mistakes?’ she asked, her heart in her mouth.

  ‘We sort them and we move on. Together.’

  Her heart cracked completely open. Could she do this? ‘Can I do this? Really?’ She locked her eyes on the man who’d turned her world on its head.

  ‘Your call, sweetheart. But I believe you can do anything you set your mind to.’

  Was Flynn not as scared as she was? For all his understanding, maybe he didn’t get it. But looking into those eyes she’d come to trust, she saw nothing but his confidence in her. He trusted her to look out for Adam to the best of her ability, even if that ability needed fine-tuning along the way. He trusted her to love him as much as she’d declared. Her mouth was dry. Finally she managed to croak, ‘Let’s go home.’

  ‘Yes.’ Adam jumped up and down, then ran circles around the lounge. ‘Yes, Ally’s coming back home with us.’

  Flynn reached for her, his smile wobbly with relief. ‘Home. Our home. The three of us.’ Then his smile strengthened. ‘And the dogs.’

  Eighteen months later…

  Ally laid baby Charlotte over her shoulder and rubbed her tiny back. ‘Bring up the wind, sweetheart, and you’ll feel so much better.’

  Flynn grinned. ‘Look at you. Anyone would think you’d been burping babies for ever. Charlotte is completely relaxed lying there.’

  Ally’s heart swelled with pride and happiness. ‘Seems I got the mothering gene after all.’

  Flynn’s grin became a warm, loving smile. ‘Ally, I was never in doubt about that. I’ve seen you with Jacob, with Chrissie’s Xavier and half the other new babies on the island. You’re a natural when it comes to making babies happy.’

  She blinked back a threatening tear at his belief in her. That belief had helped her through the doubts that had reared up throughout her pregnancy, had meant he hadn’t hovered as she’d learned to feed and bath and love her baby. And Adam. Well. ‘Adam’s been complaining this morning. Apparently I should’ve made a boy so he had a brother to play football with.’

  ‘He’ll have to wait a year or two.’

  ‘We’re having more?’

  ‘Why not?’

  She blinked. That told her how much he believed in her. In her chest her heart swelled even larger.

  The bed tipped as Flynn sat down beside her and reached for his daughter. ‘Hello, gorgeous.’ He laid Charlotte over his shoulder and held her with one hand.

  ‘Hello,’ said Ally, her tongue in her cheek.

  He leaned over and kissed her. ‘Hello, gorgeous number one. Did you get any sleep last night?’

  ‘An hour maybe.’ Charlotte had had colic and nothing had settled her. But Ally had been happy, pacing up and down the house, cuddling her precious bundle, kissing and caressing. Just plain loving her baby. She’d known what to do, hadn’t had any moments of doubt when Charlotte wouldn’t settle. And this morning she was being rewarded with a contented baby.

  Yep, she did have the right instincts. When Charlotte had been born three weeks ago she’d been stunned at the instant love and connection she’d felt for her baby. It had been blinding in its strength. For the first time ever, Ally realised how hard it must have been for her mother to give her up. She might have desperately wanted to keep her baby but had been too scared, troubled or unable to support herself. Now, as a mother, Ally knew it wasn’t a decision any woman would make lightly. She’d never know the reason her mother had left her on that doorstep. But now at last, with Flynn by her side, she was moving on, making a loving life for her family and herself.

  ‘Flynn.’ She wrapped her hands around his free one. ‘I love you so much. I’m so lucky.’

  ‘You and me both, sweetheart.’

  ‘Let’s get married.’ She hadn’t thought about it. The words had just popped out, but she certainly didn’t want to retract them.

  His eyes widened and that delicious mouth tipped up into a big smile. ‘That’s the best idea you’ve had since we decided to get pregnant.’

  ‘I thought so.’ Her lips kissed the palm of his hand, and then his fingers. Life couldn’t get any better.

  ISBN: 978-1-474-00453-4

  MIDWIFE… TO MUM!

  © 2015 Sue MacKay

  Published in Great Britain 2015

  by Mills & Boon, an imprint of Harlequin (UK) Limited

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