Love Is Not Lost

by Nikki Bolvair

  “Daniels?" she asked, curious to find me up and dressed. She headed down towards me and asked, “Why are you up so early?”

  I shifted to the side as she came closer, watching her reach the last step.

  “Raina McGuire, her friend Wendy and I had a sleepover," I told her, not completely lying. “I just got back and need to change my clothes for my classes.”

  Her eyes were speculative, but she seemed to believe me. She smiled and gave my arm a pat. “Well, you have some time. I haven't even started cooking yet," she said as she slid past me into the kitchen.

  I hurried upstairs to shower and change before I made my way downstairs to where I could smell breakfast.

  “Daniels," Brady stated as he looked over to me, sipping from his coffee mug. He was sitting at the kitchen table, and HotShot was nowhere to be seen.

  “Brady," I responded to him as I moved to a kitchen chair. “Where's HotShot?”

  Brady set down his coffee, sat back and folded his arms. “At the station. He had some overnight training, but let's focus on you. Did you make friends?" he inquired as he raised one eyebrow, his eyes questioning.

  I picked up my fork and took a bite of my eggs, murmuring a yes, trying to avoid his eyes. He was a cop, he would know if I was lying.

  “Did you punch any of them?”

  My head shot up as I looked towards him, my lips twisted in annoyance. “No.” But I did slap one of them on the back of the head, I admitted silently.

  “Honey, give her a break," Sarah softly broke in as she sat down at the table with her plate and a new pitcher of orange juice. She glanced at her husband, sending him a silent message. “She was with the McGuire's girl, Raina," she said slowly, then turned to me and smiled. “No harm there.”

  “Next time I want to hear from you, not Tyler, got it, Daniels?” Brady ordered, eyes trained on me.

  I met his eyes and nodded. “Um, sure.” I had known I was going to be in trouble, but this wasn't so bad. “I can do that.”

  “Good," Brady gruffed as he started to eat again. “I just don't want anything happening to you. I don't want to see you hurt again.”

  I swallowed thickly at that. Brady wasn't one for words, and that sentence, I could tell, was hard for him to say. In his own way, he had just told me that he cared. That he loved me as a father should love a daughter.

  “I'll call next time.”

  When Tyler honked his horn, announcing that he was here, I grabbed my stuff and headed towards the front door. Before I got there, Sarah was standing in my way with a twenty dollar bill in hand and a can of Cherry Dr. Pepper. She was good.

  She cocked one eyebrow and said, “Yellow room.” I rolled my eyes and took the lunch money as well as the soda.

  I was seated in Tyler's Jeep, and we were headed off when the questions started.

  “So you sleepwalk,” he stated while driving. “And don't like catching frogs. You have nightmares...”

  I grunted, folding my arms, refusing to look at him.

  “And an older brother, which is not here, and you're from our hometown. Did we know you?”

  “Yes, I sleepwalk, unfortunately, but I thought it had stopped. I didn't realize it had come back," I sighed. “Catching frogs brings back a lot of memories. The good and the bad, but I’d just rather not remember because when I do, the nightmares come.”

  “And your brother?” he asked me with a quick glance.

  I looked out the window, my heart aching. “I don't talk about him.”

  When we got to the college, we both headed to class, but not without Tyler telling me that we were eating lunch together again. I knew better than to hide, even though I might have to do it to spite him and just to see if he could find me again.

  This time, though, I would wait. I was still irritated with him for spilling my secret so I was going to let him pay for my lunch. He owed me.

  I went to all my classes and when lunch time came around, I waited for Tyler, but, this time, he didn't show. There was a commotion further down the hallway that I ignored and saw Kane waiting instead. When his eyes found mine, he grinned and caught up to me. He seemed to be in a hurry.

  “Hey, girl,” He put an arm around my shoulders in a friendly way, leading me away from the noise. “Let's go.”

  I was confused, and even more so when he looked over his shoulder. It seemed like he was nervous. Like he was trying to get us away from something. Was there something more to what was happening in the hallway than I thought?

  “Where's Tyler?”

  “Busy,” he shrugged as we kept walking.

  I twisted my lips and stopped. “What's going on?” I asked, as I moved myself out from underneath his arm.

  “Nothing,” he frowned as he tried to hide his worry. “Honestly. Can't a guy be hungry?” He rubbed his stomach and grinned as it let out a growl.

  “Come on. Let's go meet up with the others.” He once again put his arm around my shoulders and encouraged me to move. I raised an eyebrow but walked.

  When we got out to his car, I saw Peter, Wendy and Raina were waiting for us.

  “Hey guys, what's up?” Kane asked as he left me and strolled over to Raina to give her a kiss. Raina pulled away and asked him the same question that I had - where was Tyler?

  “He's comin',” Kane told her in a nonchalant way, as he shrugged one shoulder. Raina pulled herself back from him and frowned. She crossed her arms with narrowed eyes on him before she started to tap her foot, like a woman about to demand answers.

  “What's he done now?" she demanded, as she glanced at around, I assume, looking for her wayward brother.

  “Whoa,” Kane spluttered as he put his hands up in a defensive gesture. “He's all right, no need to worry.”

  “I've heard that before,” Peter butted in, not helping Kane. “Did he pick a fight with Tucker again?” he asked, frowning.

  Kane turned his head to glare at Peter. I guess that Peter had guessed right.

  “Where is he?” Raina asked as she passed Kane on her way back to the college building.

  “Babe," Kane said, grabbing her arm before she could go find Tyler. She glanced at him, and Kane leaned in close to her to whisper something in her ear. Her eyes widened over the mysterious message, and then she nodded.

  She turned back to all of us with a smile, “Okay. Let's go. Tyler will meet us there.”

  I was suspicious of what Kane had said to her. Was Tyler really ok?

  Chapter 9

  When we got to the diner, I was surprised to find Kayden and Lincoln there. I guess they did have a half day and could do whatever they wanted. I had thought for some reason that they had jobs. How else would they get money to do things? Kayden got me my food, and I sat down, squished in between him and Lincoln. It was sort of awkward with all of us, but I just ignored it as I started to eat.

  “Last night was crazy," Wendy stated as she set her drink down after she had taken a sip. “Those frogs are slippery. You couldn't hold on to them for very long before they got away.” She grabbed a fry and bumped into Raina. “This chick here was like a pro.”

  Raina rolled her eyes. “You have to be quick, and I'm not a pro.”

  “Oh, she's a pro alright," Kane said, wrapping his arm around her. “My Baby's the amphibian queen.”

  “Ah, no," she said, backing away from him, giving him a look. “I am not the amphibian queen. May I remind you that I do not do snakes?”

  “Then you're the frog catcher," Peter mused.

  I chuckled, as did everyone else.

  “Or the frog snatcher," Lincoln said, joining in.

  “Oh, I got one!” Wendy chimed. “You're the frog-er-nator!”

  Our table erupted in laughter at that comment.

  “That was a good one, Wendy," I praised as I caught my breath. My stomach hurt from laughing too hard. Wendy leaned over with her hand in the air, and I high-fived it.

  When I settled back down in my seat, a hand caught mine from under the table, lacing o
ur fingers together. I looked to my left where Kayden was. He was sitting back, relaxing as he talked to Peter. His thumb rubbed over my wrist, but he never looked my way.

  I turned back to Raina when she called my name. “Yeah?”

  “Did you get a good night's sleep?” she asked me with a smirk, Kayden's hand tightening on mine.

  I was unsure how to answer that question. Did I get a good night's sleep? Yeah. Did I enjoy sleeping with her brothers, and soaking in their attentions? I think that's about every teenage girl’s fantasy. Having the attention of three guys.

  Before I could comment, Lincoln put his arm around me as a grinned played at his lips “Of course she did. I was her pillow.”

  I bumped him in jest as I gave him a fake glare. “I wondered why I thought I was sleeping on a rock.”

  He pulled his arm out from behind me and flexed. “Muscles, baby. Pure muscle.” I couldn’t help it. I laughed, as did his sister. Wendy snorted.

  Kayden released my hand and brought his arm up to flex too. Each one of them wanted me to test the firmness of their muscle, and that is exactly how Tyler found us.

  “What in the world are you doing to my brothers, Daniels?” I jumped, as my heart stopped before it started racing. I turned to face him, surprised. He didn't look too happy, and his lip was cut.

  “What happened to you?” I asked as I motioned for Kayden to get up so I could take a good look at him.

  “Tyler, what on earth? Are you ok?” his sister asked, concerned.

  When I was standing, I reached over to grab a napkin from the table and dabbed it into my water. I turned back towards Tyler and grabbed his chin to wipe off the blood as he tried to talk to his sister.

  “You should see the other guy,” he told her, wincing when I hit a really sore spot.

  “Sorry," I mumbled when his hand reached up to grab my wrist, pulling it away, preventing me from continuing.

  “Who was it?” Lincoln asked “Was it, Tucker?” Tyler nodded, and he pulled me to him, my body fitted into his side as he wrapped his arm around my waist.

  “Yeah, it was. He was spouting some BS about how he was going to bone the new chick. He insinuated that a hot piece like her must be crazy good in bed. I was going to ignore it, but then he called out to me and asked if I had boned her yet. I didn't know who he was even talking about, and dismissed it. But then he said 'That fine piece you always drive with. Daniels is her name, right? If she had a go with you, I'm positive she'll take me on. I have so much more to offer.'”

  “You can't be serious!” Raina exploded. “I hope you beat him to a pulp!”

  “Uncalled for!” Wendy exclaimed. “I hope you tore into him! That dick-wad needs to be fed to the crawdads in Uncle Denny's pond. The nerve of him!”

  I felt the anger rolling off of Tyler, and I was furious myself. I turned to him, grabbing his chin once more to bring his eyes down to mine. “Is that why you're bleeding? Did you fight him?” His jaw clenched as his eyes flared. He gave a nod.

  I pursed my lips and let go of his chin. I grabbed my stuff and headed out of the diner. I was angry with him as well.

  “Daniels! Wait up! What's wrong?”

  I turned towards Tyler as I stood in the parking lot. “Have I ever once gave you the impression that I ever need saving?” I called out to him. “Did you even think that by challenging him, you’ve made things worse? That it was just a thought, an idea in his mind,” I told him, striding back towards him, “that now he's never going to back down.” I got up in his shocked face. “That I am now a prize in a flipping' GAME! Did you? You made me a target, Tyler!”

  “I never saw it like that,” he admitted slowly, now understanding.

  I backed away from him “Well, you should have.” Then I turned around and walked off.

  What. A. Mess. What a flippin' mess.

  “Where are you going?" he called to me once more.

  “Anywhere. I just need to be alone.”

  ***

  I didn't know where I was going. All that I knew was I needed to get away. I needed to think. Whoever this Tucker was, he was now going to be seeking me out. I had to be careful not to run into him. From the way the guys talked about him, and from the brief conversation he and Tyler had had, I wanted nothing to do with him. If someone was that crude and insensitive, they needed to be knocked down a notch or two, but that person was not going to be me.

  I made my way towards the little strip mall, with a few shops that lay ahead, and I couldn't help but think about how upset I was with Tyler. How could he do something like that? I knew he was trying to protect me, but it frustrated me. I didn't want people to care for me. I didn't want people to protect me. I just wanted to be left alone.

  I need to avoid the guy, but how? By not arriving at school with Tyler anymore was one way. That would be a start, but I needed to think about how I was going to accomplish that. By getting a car? I had no money except for what Sarah gave me. I would never ask. I didn't want to have to rely on anyone.

  I reached the step of the sidewalk in front of the shops and looked ahead to the one standing before me. It was a small antique store, and in the window was a sign that said ‘For Hire.' I could get a job. I could work there. It would just have to be after school, and I wouldn't have any time for anything else.

  I glanced behind me to find Lincoln walking towards me. His eyes were centered on my face. With hands shoved in his pockets, he wore a determined look. He wasn't going to let me get away with distancing myself from them.

  It was weird. I knew he would be the one to come after me. The two of us had shared a sort of moment, a connection I guess, since that night in the truck when he held me while I cried. No one did that anymore. No one had held me while I fell apart, until Lincoln.

  What was I going to do with the three of them? Those McGuire brothers. They all seemed to like me, and I liked them, but then again, what was I doing? What were they doing? Was this something more than brotherly affection between all of us, or was it my imagination? They acted like brothers towards me, but didn't. I had thought that maybe they each saw me as another little sister, but now I wasn't sure. Was this thing between the four of us something else?

  Lincoln finally reached me and pointed behind him, “Tyler said that you were upset. He told me to come and talk to you.” His hand fell, and he looked at me intently. “Are you ok?”

  I didn't let any emotion show as I nodded.

  “Daniels, Tucker is bad news. You don't want him in your sights. Tyler just did what he thought he should. He just didn't want you to get hurt.”

  “But he made me a target," I argued as I gestured towards the diner, “by fighting him. By even acknowledging anything, he made me a target.”

  “Look,” Lincoln said, frustrated, his face becoming hard. “I know you think that, and you're probably right - that he made you a target but...”

  “No, Lincoln!” I growled as my eyes flashed. “He could have walked away! He could have just left it alone! I bet this Tucker guy only wanted to rile him up. To taunt him. All Tyler did was confirm that I was someone he knew, and by getting into a fight, Tyler also gave the guy the impression that I was someone important to him! That I was more than his father's friend’s...” I halted my speech, my eyes going wide as I realized I wasn't anything. I wasn't Brady's daughter, I wasn't even related to him. They were just my guardians. Someone who had taken pity on me.

  “I'm not sure what I am," I sighed, dropping my head to look at my feet. I should have known. It was only me.

  “You’ve got it wrong.” There was so much conviction in his voice that I looked up, surprised. It was almost as if he had read my mind. His face was dark and his eyes intense. “You don't get it, do you?” He shifted closer to me as he slid his hand into mine.

  Surprised, I glanced down at our hands. It felt so tiny in his. “Get what?” I whispered, afraid of what he was going to say next.

  “That we care.” His other hand tipped my head up so that I looked in
to eyes that held so much seriousness, “We all do.”

  “But I didn't ask you to," I softly argued.

  A ghost of a smile appeared as he leaned in a breath away from a kiss. My hand tightened on his, and he tipped my chin up higher. “Too bad. Tucker was disrespecting you, and Tyler was doing the only thing he thought was right. No one should be talked about like that. We will always defend you. It's not something we can control. It's not something we can just turn off.”

  “I didn't ask you to care.”

  “Too bad,” he said, repeating himself.

  “You've known me-”

  “Shut up, Daniels,” was all I got before warm lips touched mine. Lincoln's hand moved from my chin to the back of my neck, holding me to him as he thoroughly kissed me. His lips were soft and welcoming.

  When we finally broke apart, we were both breathing hard.

  Whoa. That definitely was not brotherly affection.

  “None of us are sure what we're doing when it comes to you. We can't explain it, but we want to protect you,” he said, letting go of my hand to wrap me into his hug. I held onto his sides, not sure about a full on hug, but the guy had just kissed me. My first one.

  “We want your friendship.” His voice rumbled through me. “And later... I don't know, but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.”

  “It seems like we've already come to that bridge.”

  He chuckled. “Yeah, well. There are more bridges to cross.”

  Not sure what to think about that comment, I blurted out what I really wanted. “I need a job!” He chuckled, and I liked that feeling.

  “You don't need a job,” he said as he pulled away from me. He put his arm around my shoulders as we walked back towards the diner. “You have us, and you have the Bradys. You don't need a job.”

  I stopped and turned towards him, “Yeah, I do,” I pointed to the sign at the antique store just behind us. “I need a job, Lincoln. Right there. They're hiring.”