The Unbelievable Mr Brownstone Omnibus

by Michael Anderle

  “Sometimes it’s not about that. Sometimes it’s about a man knowing when not to fire or start a fight.”

  “Yeah, I hear you. I’ll keep that in mind.”

  The Currus pulled into the parking lot, and Royce resisted a frown. His time in the service had left him with a bad taste for autonomous machines. The military talked a good game about saving men’s lives, but trusting machines overmuch had led to good Marines dying when they shouldn’t have.

  He didn’t give a shit if the Currus included magic instead of being purely technological. A human should always be in control. Tools existed to serve humanity, and when they gave up control, it’d only hurt them in the end.

  Some genies you should keep in the damned bottle.

  “Problem, Staff Sergeant?”

  “Nah. Just lost up my own ass.” Royce gave Trey a nod. “Good luck, Trey, and good hunting.”

  Trey stifled a yawn as everyone scurried around the Vegas loft’s kitchen helping to put up the groceries they’d just purchased.

  “We got to do something about Brownstone,” Shorty growled.

  Trey spun on the man, his face hardening. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

  “He made us look like bitches in that mud pit. I’m saying we need some sort of strategy. Not gonna beat him on strength, so we need to apply all that Marcus Aurelius-Sun Tzu-Clausewitz shit the staff sergeant’s been teaching us.”

  Trey’s muscles loosened. “Oh, yeah. We just have to take him by surprise. The big man is strong, but it’s not like he weighs a ton.”

  “Ouch,” Manuel shrieked. “What the fuck?”

  What now?

  Trey rounded on the man. Manuel was frowning at Aunt Charlyce and holding his hand. She held up a rolling pin like some enchanted blade of yore.

  She nodded at a bag of chips. “You don’t need to be getting into that bag, boy. I’m gonna make some food here, and I’m not cooking for an hour to hear you say you have no appetite.”

  “Didn’t have to hit me,” Manuel muttered.

  Trey laughed and shook his head. He turned to leave.

  She’s acting just like Nana. We’re lucky she can still walk without a cane. Otherwise, she’d always be ready to beat our asses down.

  The bounty hunter made his escape to the balcony and pulled out his phone. He enjoyed the crisp Vegas night air and the bright lights of the city as he reviewed bounties.

  After a few minutes, Manuel and Shorty sauntered onto the balcony.

  “What are you doing out here, Trey?” Manuel asked.

  “Looking up bounties.”

  “Why here, though?”

  Trey laughed. “Because I know it’s safer to be finding and catching bounties than being in a kitchen where a Garfield woman’s cooking.” He glanced down at his phone. “Yeah. I found a quick one we can go pick up in under an hour.”

  Shorty frowned. “How are we supposed to find an asshole in under an hour?”

  “Because the big man has been letting me splash around cash, and now I can fucking go online and ask about low-level bitches to find out if anyone has seen them. Makes level ones easy.” He pocketed his phone. “Let’s go make some money before dinner.”

  Trey stepped out of the Expedition, and Shorty and Manuel jumped out after him. The rest of the team had remained at the loft with Charlyce. Two level ones weren’t worth the entire team.

  The men fell in behind him as he strode up the path to the front door. The ramshackle house lacked a lawn. Instead, it was covered from street to porch with small pebbles. A few small shrubs broke the rocky monotony, but their gnarled and overlapping branches suggested a lack of regular pruning. The closed blinds shielded the bounty hunter’s approach, and there was no sign of cameras or drones.

  Trey fluffed his suit jacket. “Rare to get street-dealer bounties. I don’t know if these guys are stupid or just greedy, dealing close to schools so many times.” He nodded to Manuel. “You take the back.”

  “You got it, Trey.” The bounty hunter jogged around the side of the house.

  “You want to take a shot at knocking, Shorty?”

  “Damned right, I do. I don’t have to be smooth and shit like you though, do I? I don’t want to do this shit Trey-style.”

  Trey laughed. “You do what you do best, brother. We ain’t all gonna have the same style.”

  In his years running the gang Trey had become used to micromanaging everything, but the Brownstone Agency couldn’t be run the same way. His boys would need to learn to start thinking for themselves, especially if things kept growing.

  Shorty glanced down at his suit. “Still not sure about this look, but whatever. I look good in whatever I wear.”

  Trey grinned and followed the other man to the front door. Shorty knocked loudly.

  “Yo, open up. Need to chat with you.”

  They waited for the sounds of the back door closing or any shouts from the back of the house. Instead, after a moment the door swung open, and a huge man with a scarred face glared at them.

  “Who the fuck are you supposed to be?” the man rumbled.

  Shorty glanced at Trey, who nodded back.

  “We’re with the Brownstone Agency,” Shorty explained, his low voice full of implied menace. “We’re here for you and your buddy. Come along nicely, and we won’t have any trouble.”

  The man’s hand dropped to his back. Shorty and Trey whipped out their guns before the bounty had even touched the grip of his gun.

  “Don’t do it, bitch,” Shorty growled. “You ain’t worth nothing to us dead. Put your hands on your head, turn around, and get on your knees. Or die. I don’t give a fuck which, but it’ll mean we wasted gas money.”

  The bounty frowned and turned around. “Fuck you, assholes.”

  There was a shout from the back, and then a loud moan.

  Trey nodded to the bounty. “You take care of him. I’m gonna go check on Manuel.”

  Shorty nodded. He already had his cuffs ready.

  Trey sprinted around the corner, his gun out. A body lay on the ground, Manuel kneeling on his back.

  “You okay, Manuel?”

  The other man grinned. “Yeah. Don’t worry, Trey, I didn’t kill this bitch. I just knocked his ass out.”

  “Makes him easy to handle.” Trey chuckled. “Let’s take these asses to the 5-0 and go get some food.”

  Aunt Charlyce glared at Trey as he stepped into the room. “I thought you said you’d be right back, but it’s been two hours, boy.”

  “I thought it’d only take an hour, but Sergeant Choi wasn’t in. It was some other bi…some other cop who didn’t even know how to work the damned computer. Sorry.”

  “Go heat up your food in the microwave. And I’m still holding you responsible, Trey.”

  “I’ll do all the cleanup. That make up for it?”

  She narrowed her eyes and looked him up and down. “For now.” She stormed off.

  Shorty laughed. “Next time we should just throw your aunt at the bounty.”

  “Nah.” Trey stared down the hallway. “You don’t use a nuclear weapon for low-level bounties.”

  Tyler stepped into the Seven Hills, thankful that he’d chosen a nice suit. Everything he’d heard about the Seven Hills suggested a swanky place, but you could never tell in Southern California. Sometimes the most elite restaurants maintained a casual atmosphere.

  At least this place also has a reputation for being discreet and exclusive. It might be a nice place to do high-end business, but I’d need some serious customers to justify the prices.

  He stepped up to the maître d’ and cleared his throat. “I’m here with Lieutenant Maria Hall.”

  The plastic-looking maître d’ gave him a cool smile and motioned behind him. “Right this way, sir.”

  Tyler fell in behind the man as they stepped into the darkened main dining room. Light chatter filled the room along with the faintest hint of classical music.

  As he was led to a table he spotted a familiar fac
e, the starring actress from the Oriceran Dark Avenger franchise and her long-time but allegedly currently ex-boyfriend.

  Huh. From what I heard they were supposed to hate each other. I would have put money on it.

  “Your table, sir.”

  Tyler tried to not let his jaw drop. Maria sat at the table. Her dark hair was up, and instead of the loose uniform, she wore a low-cut and high-slit black evening gown. He slipped into the chair across from her, swallowing.

  Makeup, skin and toned body on display, and even sweet perfume. The tough AET lieutenant had been transformed from a cop into a woman. For the first time since meeting Hall, she kindled the flames of desire in Tyler.

  Maria snapped her fingers in front of him. “Hey, you there?”

  Tyler blinked and shook his head. The maître d’ had long since wandered off.

  “Uh, sorry. Just got distracted.” Another quick check of the room revealed several famous actors and musicians, and a few local politicians.

  There’s no way I could ever get into this place without an invitation.

  “I just wanted to give you a little thank you for your help with everything,” Maria explained. “Even if I’ve changed my mind about a lot of stuff, that doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten how you helped hook me up with Dannec. I don’t know if I’d be alive today without that. You saved my life, and those of my men.”

  Tyler took a sip of wine, some of the tension dissipating. Chatting over food and booze, he could handle.

  “Well, I’m earning money, so I’m benefiting from it. Not to mention you’re helping enforce neutrality.”

  Maria traced the rim of her glass with her finger. “Yeah, you were running a business before I ever showed up. You could have told me to fuck off. I know how you feel about cops.”

  “Maybe, but this is a nice place. Probably nicest I’ve been in a while.”

  Maria picked up her glass and took a sip. “Good to relax. I forget that a lot. The world’s always going to spin on, and there will always be new scumbags. It’s hard to not obsess over them.”

  “Can’t worry about that. I mean, it’s not like you’re going to solve all crimes. All you can do is protect people.”

  “I guess you’re right.”

  Tyler took a sip of wine. The arrival of the antipasto cut off more responses. They both spent some time sampling meats and cheeses before Tyler spoke again.

  “You look good, by the way,” Tyler commented. “Haven’t seen you looking like that before. Took me by surprise.”

  Maria laughed. “Like an actual woman?”

  “Just saying I’m used to seeing you in a uniform, not a dress.”

  “You’re not looking so bad yourself. I mean, your little bartending outfit is nice, but you fill out a suit well.”

  Tyler raised a glass. “I try to please.”

  His gaze cut to the side. A too-young busty blonde was draped over a local alderman. A married local alderman who was rather famous for his commitment to family values.

  I could use that. Wait. No, I shouldn’t. This place is like the Black Sun. Anything that happens in here is off-limits. Might be nice to know, but I’m not going to screw things up by using it. Instead, I’m going to concentrate on the woman in that killer dress in front of me.

  Tyler smiled. “I appreciate the invitation, Maria, and I’m glad your recent opinion changes didn’t involve deciding I was a scumbag.”

  Maria grinned, her eyes twinkling with amusement. “The night’s still young.” She raised her glass. “How about a toast to befriending people you least expect?”

  Tyler raised his glass. “To befriending people we least expect.”

  They clinked their glasses.

  Still not sure if this is a date, but I’m glad I came.

  5

  The next evening, Tyler polished glasses and hummed. The Black Sun might not be the Seven Hills, but he owned it, and it was a far classier joint than it used to be.

  “Someone’s in a good mood,” Kathy commented with a grin.

  “What? Am I not allowed to be in a good mood?”

  She shrugged. “Just wondering if something good happened.”

  “Nothing happened. I just had a nice night.”

  Kathy tilted her head, her eyes narrowing. “Yeah, that sounds about right. You should enjoy it while it lasts, though.”

  Tyler frowned. “What do you mean?”

  “Just saying that Brownstone might be quiet, but he’s going to get his revenge on you for that stunt with the women sooner rather than later. This is a guy who basically wasted an entire gang for killing his dog, after all.”

  Tyler groaned and slumped against the bar. “Shit. You’re right. I keep letting it slip my mind, but that bastard already doesn’t like me. There’s no way he’ll let this go.” He scrubbed a hand over his face. “What if he wrecks my place? Even if I could afford it, I can’t have a decent business if we’re undergoing a bunch of construction.”

  “I doubt he’ll do anything too direct. He doesn’t want to piss off the cops.”

  “He doesn’t have to do anything directly. He could pull bullshit like he did last time, send high-level criminals at me and then tell the cops they are there and hope for trouble. It’s not like Maria can guarantee every cop will leave this place alone.”

  Kathy eyed him with a faint smirk. “I’m sure Maria can do a lot more than you expect.”

  Tyler glared at her. He didn’t have the time or desire to deal with the other bartender messing with him. Right now he had a huge target painted on his back, and he needed to figure out the best strategy to protect himself from Brownstone.

  “Maybe the best defense is a good offense.”

  Kathy crossed her arms over her chest. “I’m not following you.”

  “Maybe if I hit him with another prank, that’ll convince him not to hit me back.”

  “I doubt that.”

  A customer at the bar chuckled. “I agree with Kathy. You hit him again, the man’s not gonna walk away. He’s gonna come back twice as hard. He’s fucking James Brownstone, not some punk kid from middle school.”

  Tyler rubbed his chin. “But maybe I could prove to him that I’m not worth messing with?”

  “How?”

  “That truck of his. Maybe I do something to his truck.”

  Kathy grimaced, and everyone sitting at the bar shook their heads.

  “I’ve heard the only thing Brownstone loved more than his dog is that truck,” Kathy commented. “You fuck with that truck, he might very well come and blow up this bar.”

  Tyler scrubbed a hand over his face. “Then maybe I give up on offense and go back on defense.”

  “How?” asked another customer.

  “You know, have people follow him around. Watch him or some shit.”

  “That’ll just piss him off. He’ll think you’re trying to fuck with him.”

  The first customer gulped down some of his rum and Coke and set the glass down. “You know, you could just apologize to him.”

  Tyler stared at the man like he’d opened a portal to Oriceran right there in the Black Sun. “What?”

  “You know, tell Brownstone you’re sorry.”

  “Fuck that. I’m not apologizing to that asshole. This was revenge for something he already did to me.”

  “Maybe you’ll get lucky, and he’ll let bygones be bygones.”

  Kathy snickered.

  Tyler shook his head. “I can’t plan on that. No, that fucker’s got something up his sleeve. He’s just waiting for me to let my guard down before he comes at me.” He stared at the front door. “He’ll come. I just need to be ready.”

  You won’t win this time, Brownstone. Not against me.

  A couple of hours passed, and Tyler’s thoughts had gone from paranoia back to his favorite subject: money.

  Brownstone would come for him. That much was certain, but there had to be some way to make money off it. Maybe he could start a pool for when Brownstone would get his revenge, with b
ets about the exact type of revenge, the monetary value of the damage, and that sort of thing?

  I’ve made a shitload of money betting on Brownstone. I know I could make money off this. Or shit, for that matter, maybe money off something other than when assassins are going to take his ass down.

  Maria pushed into the Black Sun. She was still in uniform, much to Tyler’s disappointment. After seeing her in a dress, he couldn’t help but wonder what it’d be like to see her without any clothes.

  Yeah, right. Not like a cop and a crook are ever going to get together, even for a one-night stand. And she’s on Team Brownstone now. She’ll probably start hating me soon.

  The AET officer marched up to the bar.

  Then again, in the meantime, she might be helpful in a different way.

  “Hey, Maria.” Tyler nodded toward the hallway. “Wanted to chat with you about something in private.”

  She shrugged. “Okay, but I hope it won’t take too long, because I could really use a drink.”

  “It won’t take long. After that, you can have whatever you want on the house.”

  Maria grinned. “Free’s a great price.”

  A quick trip brought them to Tyler’s office. Once he sat behind his desk, he spoke. “I was wondering if I could ask you a few questions off the record.”

  “Maybe. Remember, just because we have a few deals going doesn’t mean I’m going to leak a bunch of cop shit to you.”

  Tyler waved a hand. “Nothing like that. If anything, I’m more interested in information that hasn’t even got any current value.”

  “What are you playing at?”

  He leaned forward with an eager gleam in his eye. “The Drow. I mean, unlike your last takedown there weren’t a zillion news choppers around, and your official statements have been pretty lacking in detail.”

  She shrugged. “This is one of those diplomatic messes. The mayor and the chief want to keep that shit as quiet as possible. It’s one thing if it’s some Earth witch causing a mess, but if we make too much noise about Oricerans causing trouble, it’ll raise tensions or some shit. That’s the message I’m getting.”