Full Circle (Shattered Lives, Book Five)

by Rissa Blakeley

  “No.” Lie. Even the slightest movement made me want to curl up in a ball and die. “Just some bruising. Elaina thought I should put ice on it.”

  “I’m sorry. I just… I shouldn’t have done that in front of my kids, but I was so angry…and hurt. I’m fucking hurt.”

  “I fully expected it.”

  “What the fuck, mate? Why did you do that shit? My heart was broken for years, thinking I failed you…” His voice cracked. “Thinking I failed my brother.”

  “I left to go get treated.”

  “What?”

  “Tess and Erik developed an anti-serum. I was their guinea pig. It took almost a year and many medical procedures to finally get rid of the fucking virus.”

  “I can’t believe you would do that blindly.”

  “Blind faith, mate. That’s all I had left. I needed to do something and ran out of options here. We staged the suicide because we weren’t sure I would make it.”

  “That’s just… I don’t know. You were crazy to trust him.”

  “Like I said, I was out of options. It felt like a last resort kind of thing.” I looked at him, his gaze glued to his shoes.

  “Then who the fuck is in the urn on the mantle?”

  I shrugged. “Not too sure.”

  “So you killed someone?”

  “No. Erik and Xander took care of everything. All I had to do was get a mold made of my face, photos of my body for scarring, and stage the scene.”

  “But a gunshot… Cora called me, panicking about a gunshot. I’ll never forget the fear in her voice.” He shook his head.

  “I shot a round off into the woods.”

  “Jesus Christ.” He scrubbed his face with his hands and sat silent for a moment.

  I had a question of my own. “When you injected me, did you know mine was more potent?”

  He looked at me, eyes narrowed. “Nope. All I remember is Roger pointed that syringe out specifically for you. I just did what they said. It was easier that way.”

  “Yeah, no shit.”

  “So what happened?”

  “The contamination in my brain had spread so much, I was days from dying. I actually died in their care. Michelle brought me back. After a year, the scans finally showed my brain clear of infection, so they cleaned my blood and put me into suspended animation. And here I am. Healthy as a horse.”

  “That’s just…” He shook his head. “Who’s Michelle?”

  “She was my nurse, now my bird.”

  He nodded. “So you’re over Elaina?”

  “Yeah. Michelle and I worried about coming here. Last night, we…” I waved my hand through the air, “you know. Afterward, she was so upset, she cried in my arms, thinking the nostalgia of my past would make me want to stay with Elaina. I wondered how I would feel when I saw her again, but sitting and talking with her made me realize I’m right where I need to be. Michelle is where it’s at. Elaina and I were toxic. She has what I wanted for her, something I couldn’t give her.”

  “She’s happy.”

  “Exactly.”

  “How’s Elaina taking all this? You know, you coming back, being alive.”

  “Surprisingly, she’s been pretty cool. She chewed me out for a bit. Will, on the other hand, is in a snit.”

  “He’s a good man. He’s done well taking care of them.”

  “Yeah. How are the rest of the kids? Cora?”

  “They’re great. You saw Grey and Si. Both good lads.”

  “Grey is massive.”

  Gunther chuckled. “Yeah. He’s big. Always has been. Then there’s Evie…my youngest baby. She has been my little princess from day one. I swear, she’s an angel sent to me to heal the fracture in my heart.”

  “She seems like a nice girl. Nick is smitten with her.”

  “Just so you’re aware, if he touches her inappropriately, I will skin him alive.”

  I chuckled. “Because he knows you, I’m sure he is being extra cautious. How are the rest of the kids? Callie, Kate, and… What’s the other one’s name?”

  “Joel. My son with Carly from back when I was a total knob.”

  I smirked. “Everyone doing well?”

  “Callie is away at university in Paris.”

  “Oh, wow.”

  “I’m so proud of her. She’s training to be a chef. Kate is married to this Ian character. I’m not his biggest fan, but no one is good enough for my girls. Right now, she’s very pregnant. That’s where Cora is while Ian’s at work. As for Joel…” He sucked in a deep breath, then loudly let it out. “He’s in rehab.”

  “I’m sorry to hear that. Is he doing okay?”

  “He’s doing better now. They’re talking about releasing him into a halfway house soon. He’s made great progress.”

  “How’s Carly handling it?”

  “She wrote him off. I haven’t spoken to her in years because of it. Joel was misguided. He wanted to be in the comfort of our big family, but his mother’s jealousy finally got the best of her. She bad-mouthed Cora and me to him, keeping him away, making him think I didn’t love him because I didn’t love her. He struggled with not being allowed to see or live with me when I offered. He wanted to be here with his siblings, away from her toxic shit. Mostly, I blame myself for his stupid behavior, but she told him one day she was done. He came to my door, strung out, begging me to help him. I sent him to rehab. This is his third stint. I hope this new facility will be the key to getting him healthy.”

  “I’ll keep him in my thoughts, mate.”

  “Much appreciated.”

  I looked him up and down. “You look good. Little more rounded than cut, though. Cora taking good care of you?”

  “Oh, fuck off, you twat.” He rubbed his belly. “That bird of mine is everything I need. Tell me about yours.”

  “She’s brilliant.” I dug into my pocket, grimacing, and pulled out my phone. After finding a picture of us, I held it out for him to see.

  “Good-looking bird. Are you married?”

  “Nope.”

  “I married Cora.”

  “I heard. Congrats.”

  “Thanks. When you heading back?”

  “About a week. I can’t stay away too long. ’Chelle and I own a bookstore.”

  “I sold the gym to the kids.”

  “I heard. Hope you scored on that.”

  He chuckled. “I did my best, but they weaseled me down. Pulling the ‘We’re your family’ card. Little bastards.” We both laughed. “I hold the loan. They pay me a small percentage from their profits monthly. Do you have any more kids?”

  I sucked in a hard breath and shut my eyes for a moment. “I haven’t said anything to anyone except Nick, but Michelle was pregnant twice. Both were stillborn. As if I don’t have enough tragedy in my life.”

  “Ah, mate. I’m sorry to hear that.”

  “It was tough…” I bit down on my lip, thinking about the only time I got to hold them. Seeing each child, both boys, dead in my arms brought new meaning to pain. I never knew unconditional love could hurt so much.

  Obviously empathetic, Gunther rested his hand on my shoulder.

  “After the second, I had a vasectomy so she wouldn’t get pregnant. I couldn’t see her like that again. It was brutal knowing I couldn’t do a thing to make her feel better. All I could do was hold her and nurse her through the pain.”

  “I’m sorry. That had to have been devastating.”

  I needed to change the subject. “So… Feels good to sit here and chat with you.”

  He gazed at me for a moment, then smiled. “Yeah. I’ve missed your batty self.”

  “If you and Cora ever head to the UK, let me know. Michelle and I would be happy to host you.”

  “Thank you. I fully plan to take Cora there at some point. She wanted to hit up a few beaches first, so that’s where we’ve been traveling. But I eventually want to show her where all the bullshit happened to me.”

  “No can do.”

  He glanced at me. “Why?”


  “Erik died about a week after I left. He was sick, but ignored it until he cured and released me. He promised me the doctor would treat him, but he passed away before he could. Xander Meade… Remember him?”

  “Sure do.”

  “He burned the place to the ground.”

  “Damn…”

  “Yeah.”

  “Hey, Dad?!” Grey yelled as he jogged across the lawn. “You left your phone at the house. Mom called. She’s taking Kate to the hospital.”

  “Shit. Gotta run,” Gunther said, leaping from the chair and running down the steps.

  The door opened, making me turn, hissing from the pain. “I heard one of the boys yell. Is everything okay?” Elaina asked.

  “Yeah. Grey said Kate is on the way to the hospital.”

  Her face lit up. “Oh? How exciting!”

  “I’m happy for them.” I groaned as I stood. “Fucking hell…” I staggered as I walked into the house. “I think I need to lie down for a few minutes. Can I?”

  “Yeah, of course. Follow me.” She turned and headed up the stairs.

  “I will take off soon. I just need to rest for a few, then I will be out of Will’s hair.”

  “We’ve already been over this. You can stay. I want you to. Your mother needs you.”

  As I followed her, I admit that I stared at her ass for a moment. Still glorious. She would always be incredibly beautiful to me.

  “Here we are…” She opened the door across from the bathroom. “I made the bed. There are fresh towels on the dresser. I’ll have Nick bring your bags up in a bit.”

  “Thank you.” I looked around.

  “If you’re wondering… Your mother and Jeb are in my parents’ room. Charlotte is next to Will’s and mine. And Nick’s is where it has always been.”

  “I’d like to chat with Charlotte more. I want to get to know her.”

  “I’ll see what I can do to get her to open up.”

  “After I rest a bit, I’ll hang with her, see if she wants to go do anything.”

  “She hates clothes shopping, but really likes going to the grocery store.” I chuckled and grabbed my side. “Let me go get you a fresh ice pack. Have to keep plenty around with the Erikkson boys next door. I swear, they are like bulls in a china shop. Add Nick to the mix… It’s like MMA fighting mixed with a goddamn circus with a bunch of untrained bears.” She shook her head. “Did Gunther mention that Si and Grey set their kitchen on fire cooking grilled cheese sandwiches? Those boys…”

  I laughed, followed by a groan. “I’ll have to hear that story at some point.”

  “It’s a doozy.” She took the thawed ice pack from me and headed back down the stairs. “I’ll be back in a minute.”

  “Thanks.” After shutting the door, it took me a good minute to lay on the bed without screaming in pain. “I’m such a pansy-assed motherfucker…,” I mumbled, resting an arm across my belly.

  Minutes later, there was a light knock.

  “Come in.”

  “Look who I found in the hallway.” Charlotte, an ice pack in her thin, bony hands, peeked around Elaina.

  “Hey, beautiful,” I said, smiling.

  The more I looked at my daughter, the more I saw a younger version of my mother—frail, broken, beat down, far too thin. I didn’t notice her weight too much before with her baggy shirt, but she was now in a tank top and sweats.

  My heart broke for her. If I had raised her, would she be in such bad shape?

  “Go on…” Elaina stepped away, pushing her forward.

  “Hi,” she said with a small wave, her gaze locked on the floor.

  “Is that for me?” I pointed at the ice pack, wondering if she would ever look me in the eye.

  “Yeah…” She meekly walked over and handed it to me.

  “Thanks. Pull up a chair. Maybe we can chat for a bit.”

  Unbeknownst to Charlotte, Elaina had quietly exited the room, closing the door behind her.

  She sat in the chair, but kept it across the room.

  Knowing my daughter wasn’t comfortable around me made me feel sad and a little defeated. It was much different with Nick.

  We sat in silence. I didn’t know what to say, and I couldn’t blame her for not starting the conversation.

  “Have you finished school?”

  “Yeah. I did school online,” she said, pulling at a thread hanging from the hem of her tank top.

  “Did you like it that way?”

  “I went away so much, Mom and Da—”

  I looked over at her, giving a small smile. “Dad. Will’s your dad.”

  “Yeah. It was all they could do to keep me from flunking out.”

  “Sounds like it was a good decision.” She nodded. “You did much better than I did. I am the proud owner of an eighth grade education.”

  “Mom said you spent a lot of time reading and educating yourself because your childhood wouldn’t allow for school. I found it inspiring and wanted to do the same.”

  Taken aback, I said, “You did well then. What’s your favorite thing to study?”

  “History.”

  “Mine, too.”

  Her gazed still focused on that thread, she smiled, slight and quick, but I saw it.

  “I was thinking… You and I should do something together. Is there anything you would like to do?” She shrugged. “Nick can tag along, too. It would be nice to hang out, just the three of us.”

  “Yeah.”

  I suppressed a yawn. “Well, you think of something you would like and we can go do it. Sound good?”

  “Yeah.” She stood and walked to the door. Hand on the handle, not looking back, she said, “I hope you feel better.”

  “Thanks.”

  Charlotte opened the door and quietly snuck out, closing it behind her. I wished I could fix her, help her, take away the pain in her mind.

  I felt like she needed me—a veteran to the games the demons played in one’s mind. It was sick and twisted, but I was the only one who could truly understand my daughter’s suffering.

  Mending Charlotte was on me.

  Chapter 67

  Gunther jogged into the Labor and Delivery wing of the hospital and right to the nursing station.

  “Can I help you?” the older, fatigued-looking nurse asked.

  “My daughter, Kate Erikkson-Barclay, is here. My wife, Cora, is in with her.”

  Her face lit up. “Oh, yes! Follow me!”

  “Is everything going okay?” he asked, keeping pace with her.

  “I can’t discuss that with you, but I’m sure she will…” She paused and knocked before opening the door.

  Hearing a quiet whimper, Gunther pushed past the nurse. “Kate? Cora?” He whipped open the curtain, getting an eyeful of something he didn’t need to see. Not knowing what to do, he turned around.

  Cora rushed him out and closed the door. Looking into his eyes, she knew there was something wrong with her husband. He was tweaky, but she wasn’t sure if it was from being worried for Kate or something else. “Sorry… They’re prepping her for a cesarean section. She’s not progressing fast enough, causing the baby’s heart rate to dip too low.”

  His eyes went wide. Fear made the hair on his body stand on end. “That’s bad, isn’t it? Is the baby…going to live?”

  She rested her hands on his chest, feeling his muscles twitch and flex under her palms. “As long as they can get the baby out soon enough, everything will be fine. I was about to head out and call the boys and Evie, let them know what’s going on, then Elaina to see if she would help our clan out for dinner tonight. Last thing we need it those two boys blowing up the house.”

  Gunther laughed a little, easing his worry slightly. “Is her good-for-nothing husband in there?”

  “Stop.” She lifted her brow. “Ian’s a good man. He left work early and is in there holding her hand, doing a great job supporting her through this.”

  “He better…”

  “You are bad.” He shrugged. “Come on. Foll
ow me.”

  They walked down the hall and into the waiting room. She was glad to see no one else was there. Lately, since she had been spending so much time helping Kate, they had hardly seen one another.

  After Cora made her calls, she settled into the chair next to Gunther. “We need to talk about something,” he said, leaning forward in the chair, resting his elbows on his knees.

  She reached over and wrapped her arm around his, leaning into him. “You do seem a little out of sorts. What’s going on?”

  “Henry…”

  “Are you missing him again?”

  He chuckled. “Nope. Not in the least.”

  “Okay… Would you care to elaborate?”

  “He’s back.”

  She shoved away and stared at Gunther as if he had grown an extra set of eyes. “What?”

  “I just beat the fuck out of him, then we chatted like grown men.”

  “Come again…?”

  “He’s not dead. Nick found him hiding out in London using his birth name, Luke Richards.”

  “Why on earth… Why would he do something like that?” she exclaimed.

  “He faked his suicide and went back for treatment.”

  “And please tell me you didn’t beat him up in front of the kids.”

  He rolled his lips into his mouth. “Maybe.”

  “Gunther! Wait… Did you say treatment?”

  He looked around for a moment, making sure they were alone. “Sure did. He says he’s cured.”

  “I’m sure he is just making stuff up. God!” Cora grabbed her head, then threw her arms down on her lap. “What is wrong with that man? He put his family and ours through so much! I bet he’s lying. What an asshole.”

  “I saw his eyes, Cora. Blue. Normal.”

  “I’m still not convinced.”

  “Trust me, love. It’s true.”

  She sat in thought for a moment, then grabbed his arm, gasping. “Does this mean they can cure you, too?”

  “Nope.”

  Her shoulders slumped. “Why not?”

  “The scientist died, then the facility mysteriously burned to the ground.”

  “Oh no…”

  “It’s fine. I wouldn’t have gone back anyway. One minute in that hellhole and I probably would’ve beat the fuck out of everyone, then maybe even set the place on fire myself.”