Full Circle (Shattered Lives, Book Five)

by Rissa Blakeley

  “Gun…”

  “That, too. Bang, bang. Goodbye to everyone.”

  “Don’t talk like that.”

  In a rush, Kate’s husband ran into the room. “A girl! We have a healthy girl! Kate’s doing great! Gotta go!” He ran off, leaving Gunther and Cora laughing.

  She shoved him a little with her shoulder. “Congrats, Gramps.”

  “You, too, Granny.” He leaned over and brushed his lips across hers.

  “Come on,” she said, standing and tugging on his arm. “Let’s go see our grandbaby.”

  Gunther stood and wrapped his arm around Cora, pulling her in tight. “I love you so much.”

  She looked up at him, happy to see him smiling. “Love you, too, you big beast.”

  “Mmm-hmm… Beast. Later, we can release the beast.” When he waggled his brows, she burst out laughing as they walked down the hall.

  After a short nap, I found myself ready to take on the evening.

  Forgetting about my ribs, I attempted to sit up. The pain stole all the breath from my body. “Fuck, fuck…motherfucking fuck,” I moaned.

  I gazed around the room, looking for something to help.

  “Not that it matters,” I grumbled, holding my side, knowing there would be shitloads of pain to push through no matter what.

  Lifting my head, I contemplated just rolling off the bed and landing on the cushy, thick-piled carpet.

  “Oh, fuck it.”

  In a crazed rush, I launched up from the bed, my feet hitting the floor, nearly falling over, catching myself on the handle of the closet. The pain was a little more than alarming, making me wonder if I would die from it.

  “Very possible…very possible.” I swallowed back vomit. “No, I’m good,” I whispered, trying to convince myself. “Good, good, so very fucking good.”

  Finally, after growing a pair of bollocks, I let go of the handle and hobbled my way to the door, definitely feeling better as I moved. Must have been why ’Chelle said to keep moving.

  “Yeah…I can rock this,” I said, knees wobbling as I headed down the stairs. “Suffering fuck.”

  Making it to the last step, I heard heated words from Will, Elaina, and Nick coming from the kitchen.

  “Perfect,” I whispered.

  Elaina leaned against the counter, sipping a fresh cup of coffee. She startled, nearly spilling the hot liquid on herself when Nick blew through the front door.

  “Mom!”

  “Kitchen!” she yelled. “Never a dull moment…”

  He lumbered in. “Cora just called Evie. Kate’s going to have to have surgery, a C-something-or-other, for the baby. She asked if you could check in on things while she and Gunther wait it out. Oh…and if you can help get the Erikkson brood their dinner.”

  “Oh, sure…of course. They are far from a brood now, though. They’re grown men, but if she feels they need help…” She trailed off.

  “She said she didn’t want them to order hundreds of dollars’ worth of pizza and chicken wings or set the house on fire.”

  Elaina laughed. “They would do that, too. Did she say what the issue is with the baby?”

  “Something about contractions and the heart rate dropping. She said the doctor is confident everything will be fine. They just need to get the baby out quickly.”

  “Okay, good,” she said, holding a hand over her heart. “Let me get dinner going. Si, Evie, and Grey can come over.” She paused, eyes opening wide. “Jesus, do we have enough food in the house for those boys?”

  Nick snorted. “Right? I once watched Grey pick clean two roasted chickens, then eat a vat of mac and cheese. Oh, he also had two slices of pie afterward, then wanted to stop and get coffee and dessert. Dude could eat a whole damn coop and bakery himself.”

  Elaina sighed. “Looks like I’ll be thawing out more chicken.”

  “Thawing out what?” Will asked, walking into the kitchen.

  “Chicken. The Erikkson squad will be coming over for dinner. Gunther and Cora are at the hospital with Kate.”

  Confusion crossed Will’s face, brows squeezing together, mouth opening slightly. “It’s family dinner night. We always go out.”

  “Shit,” Elaina said in a whisper, tapping her forehead with her fingers. “I’m sorry. I forgot. Things are a little hectic, leaving me out of sorts today.” She set her mug on the counter.

  Will stared at her for a moment. “Yeah, suppose they are.” He crossed his arms, leaning against the doorway.

  Nick rolled his eyes. “Here we go,” he muttered.

  “Okay, well… We’ll take them with us. Nick can bring them in his Jeep, and we can take Charlotte and Luke. Let me run upstairs and see if he’s up and wants to go.”

  As she started to leave the kitchen, Will grabbed her arm. “Him?”

  “Yeah…” She looked down at his hand gripping her forearm. “Is that an issue?”

  “Actually, yes, it is. It’s family dinner night. Not family plus one and others who could each eat enough for three.”

  “Really?” Nick asked, standing straight. “First off, Cora asked Mom to help out since Kate is having surgery. Second, that’s just damn rude.”

  “Please, don’t get riled up…either of you. I can’t do this if you two are at each other’s throats.”

  “I’m at nobody’s throat, Mom. Luke, my father, is family to me. And I am willing to bet Granny and Charli feel the same.”

  “He’s not tagging along. I’m not going to be part of a goo-goo for Henry—”

  “Luke!” Nick yelled, hands balling into fists at his sides.

  “Nicky, calm down,” Elaina said. She looked at Will. “Please, don’t be like this.”

  “Be like what, Elaina? He just traipses right in here and we cater to his every need? That’s bullshit. He’s only been here a couple hours, but all of you act like the king of the world has returned.”

  “That’s not the case.”

  “You made up the guest room for him, Elaina!”

  “Why is this an issue with you? This is really unlike you and, frankly, I’m not a fan of this version of my husband. When will I get you to understand I don’t want him, and he doesn’t want me. We’re staying friends for our children’s sakes.”

  “Maybe you should’ve asked me first. Maybe he…” He jabbed his finger at Nick, “should’ve said something, and not just ‘Hey, look, my sperm donor is claiming me as his son’. Now I have my wife’s former dead ex-husband bunking out as if this were some sort of hostel! Who knows what that jackoff will do once he gets his claws into everyone again!”

  “Fuck you, Will!” Nick yelled.

  Elaina whipped around. “Bite your tongue right now, Nicholis.”

  “We’re going out and we are going as a family—you, Nick, Charlotte, and me. That’s how we’ve always done it, and I’m not changing it due to an inconvenience and an uninvited guest.” He spun around to leave, practically knocking Luke over.

  I stepped off the last stair, feeling really shitty about the drama happening because of me. Henry would’ve probably charged him and threw him up against the wall for talking to Elaina and Nick that way, but Luke? I had to hand it to Will. I couldn’t imagine being in his position.

  The situation had gone balls-up. I needed to find a resolution before things got infinitely worse. Grasping the newel post, I stood in thought for a moment.

  Knowing what I had to do, I walked through the dining room. Just as I was about to interrupt and tell them I would head to Reede’s, Will turned and ran right into me. I about died from the impact, but I managed to stand straight…cringing, but straight.

  “Seriously? What the fuck? Now I have to watch my back, too? Were you going to put me in a sleeper hold or something, you fucking psycho prick?”

  “Listen, mate, I didn’t come here to cause trouble. That isn’t who I am anymore. I came here to spend some time with my mum and kids. I apologize for getting in the way of your family time. I’ll just call a cab and head to Reede’s.” I turn
ed and hobbled back toward the stairs.

  “Pops, wait up.”

  “Shit,” I whispered.

  “Pops.” Nick touched my shoulder as he stepped in front of me. “I want you here. You are family. You should go to our family dinner. We’re taking Si, Grey, and Evie, too.” He spun around, looking at Elaina. “Right? Cora and Gunther wanted us to make sure they were good for the evening.”

  “I’ll spot them cash for pizza,” Elaina mumbled, looking distraught.

  “What? This is bullshit,” Nick yelled. “Absolutely fucking ridiculous!”

  I raised my brows. “Cool down, mate. It’s just a meal.”

  “It’s not, though! He’s been spitting on your shadow since the moment you arrived.”

  “And rightfully so, Nick. This thing…this family thing…” I circled my hand toward Elaina and Will. “This is your thing. Your immediate family.”

  “Pops…” The hurt in his eyes was not lost on me. I wanted to comfort him, tell him everything would be okay, but I wasn’t sure Elaina and Will could ever get past this. “You’re my family, too. Why would you say that?”

  “Who raised you?” He turned and glanced at his parents, then faced me again. “They did. I’m the outsider here. If it helps the situation, I will go to the room I booked. You and your sister can come over. We’ll hang together, get coffee, meals, shop, watch TV. I don’t care what we do, as long as I get to continue to bond with you and start a good father/daughter relationship with Charli.”

  “But Granny… What about her?” he asked. It was hardly audible through the emotions gripping his throat.

  “I can’t ask her to leave Jeb’s side. Not while he’s in such a sickly condition. I will speak to her before I leave, hoping Jeb understands me only popping in for a few to say hullo.”

  “Pops…no.” His voice cracked. “This is a family dinner. I want you there.”

  “Nicky, don’t make such a big deal out of it.” He gazed down, looking defeated. I reached out and grabbed his shoulder. “It’s okay. We’ll figure something out around everyone’s schedules. We will spend time with one another, but I think I need to be out of sight for now.”

  “Yeah…I guess.”

  “What’s going on?” Mum asked, coming down the stairs. “I heard shouting and…” She shook her head, “I don’t know what.”

  It occurred to me that my mother probably hadn’t left Jeb’s side for more than five minutes at a time in ages. “Mum, why don’t you go out to dinner with them.”

  “Oh, I can’t. They usually get a meal to go for Jeb and me.”

  “Mum…” I took her arms. “I’ll watch over Jeb for you.”

  Her smile was weak, eyes watery. “I can’t ask you to do that.”

  “You’re not asking. I’m offering. Get out of the house for a bit. Have a nice meal. I’ll take care of Jeb.”

  She gazed over at Elaina and Will.

  “We would love to have you come,” Elaina said. She turned to Will. Holy shit, the angry look she threw him. I had seen that many times when we were together. “Won’t we, Will?”

  He cleared his throat. “Yeah, yeah. Of course.”

  “Just leave me instructions on what he needs, medications or otherwise.”

  “I would feel guilty leaving him. What if he…?”

  “It’s fine. I will take care of everything. Go have a nice meal. Please.”

  She nodded. “Okay, but if anything happens, you have to promise you will call.”

  “Of course. Anything, Mum.”

  Without speaking another word, she went back up the stairs. I sighed and looked over at Nick.

  “I’m glad Granny is going, but this sucks, Pops.”

  “I agree, but we’ll figure it out. Okay?”

  He nodded. “I’m going to go tell Charli to get ready.”

  After he went up the stairs, Will dropped his arms to his sides and walked toward me. I wondered if he was about to break my nose. Instead, he held out his hand.

  “Thank you. What you said… That means a lot to me. In the back of my mind, I have this worry that he doesn’t see me as his dad. He’s never called me dad, even by accident.”

  I took his hand. “It’s all true. I may be his blood, but you are his dad. You’ve done well raising him. He’s a top-notch kid. I think he’s just a little confused and emotional about everything. There’ll be plenty of time for us to hang out while I’m in town.”

  Elaina walked up to us, slipping a hand between Will’s body and arm, holding onto him. “Thank you for understanding.”

  “No problem. I’m not here to cause waves.” I shoved my hand through my hair. “On many occasions, Michelle tried to convince me to come back here and mend things with everyone. I didn’t have the bollocks to look you all up on social media. Fear crippled me. But when I saw Nick standing in our store, ready to beat me to a pulp, I knew I had to try to make things better.”

  “You have to understand how screwed up this is,” Will said.

  “I do. I’ve fucked up everything in my life. Every relationship…” I glanced at Elaina, “every action… It all hurt someone.”

  “Don’t say that,” Elaina said. “You haven’t screwed things up with Michelle…yet.”

  “I live in a separate flat than she does because I have this cramp in my brain that just won’t allow me to enjoy what I have, leaving me to find things that aren’t there, making my head get swimmy.”

  “I wish you wouldn’t think that way. You know how you feel about each other. I could see it when we called her earlier. Personally, I think you should make that final step to show Michelle she doesn’t have to worry about you walking away.”

  “My therapist and I worked hard to give me coping mechanisms for my C-PTSD and anxiety. Every now and again, though, it explodes in my head. It’s much less now than ever before. For the most part, this is me. Level and calm. But when that shit gets going in my head, I lock her out.”

  “If she loves you like you believe she does, she will help you through everything.”

  Will looked between the two of us. “I’m going to run upstairs and let you two talk about this.” He peeled himself away from the situation and jogged up the stairs.

  “Medication has helped, but I’ve had a few episodes over the years that terrified her. I’d rather just ride it out on my own so I don’t scare her.”

  She flashed a sad smile. “I’m sure she would want to help you through it, though.”

  “Yeah. The last one I had was about…” I scratched at my beard, “five years ago, I think. She found me in the hallway between our flats, sitting against the wall, shaking all over, sweating so badly, my clothes stuck to me.”

  “What triggered it?”

  “A nightmare…about the girl.” My eyes welled. I would never forgive myself for raping her. I turned, dropping my gaze to the floor. “The one I hurt.” Feeling her stare, I did my best to suck back my emotions.

  She reached out, giving me a gentle, quick hug. After pulling away, she rested a hand on my cheek. “Allow her to take care of you. I promise, that’s what she wants to do. Don’t shut her out during those moments. Allow her in to help you through it.”

  Spoken from experience.

  We stared at each other for a few moments, the silence between us not feeling as loud as it used to.

  Elaina smiled. “You’ve changed so much. I can see the calm, even with you talking about your issues. It’s amazing to see you so well.”

  “Thank you. I worked hard, and it’s paying off. I wish I could’ve stepped up sooner. I’m grateful Nick found me.”

  “I hope having you in her life will help Charlotte, too.”

  I held my hand up. “Definitely. I want to help with that. I have some ideas.”

  “Good. I’m interested in hearing what you think.”

  “As soon as I make some calls, I will let you know.”

  “Looking forward to it.”

  I turned and put one foot on the bottom stair, then lo
oked at Elaina again. “Do you think Jeb will have any issues with me?”

  She shook her head. “No.”

  “Luke?” Mum called from the top of the stairs.

  “One sec,” I said, gripping my side. “Once you guys get back, I’ll see if Nick can drive me to Reede’s.”

  “You are staying, and that’s final. I’ll talk to Will. I have a feeling it’ll be easier after what you said about and to him.”

  “Just don’t get into another fight on my account.”

  “No worries. I can handle him.” She winked.

  “Don’t I know that. Always been a tough bird.” She laughed. “I’m so happy for you, Elaina. Honestly. You’ve really done well for yourself.”

  “Thank you. I’m happy for you, too. Being friends is good for us.”

  “I agree. I’m sorry I was such a knob back then.”

  “I have long forgiven your behavior.” A little mischievous grin lifted her lips. “Oh, and I’m willing to bet Michelle would say yes.”

  I had to laugh. “It’s funny to hear you give me relationship advice.”

  “It is a bit bizarre, but we never did anything by the book.”

  “Isn’t that the truth. Thank you.” I thumbed over my shoulder. “I should get going so Mum can introduce me and show me everything Jeb needs.” I headed up the stairs.

  Chapter 68

  Feeling nervous about meeting my stepfather for the first time, I knocked on the door to their bedroom. I feared what I would see, how I would react. All of it made me fidget. Was he good enough for my mother? Elaina said he was, and I trusted her opinion.

  I really didn’t have much choice but to accept him with open arms. The poor man was on his deathbed. How could I make judgments about him?

  The door creaked as it opened, Mum peeking out. “Oh good.” She opened the door, then motioned toward the window.

  Sitting in a chair, Jeb had his feet propped up on an ottoman while looking out the window. He was very slim, almost wasted away. Skeletal, his clothes baggy on his frame. He had only a few small patches of wispy white hair, his skin blotchy spots of brown and purple.

  I gazed at my mum for a moment. Judging by the smile alone, I could see she was thrilled to pieces for this moment.