Always Wanted Forever

by Sarah Tork

Silence.

  Three or four times and that was just the start of what he wanted to do to me?

  “What…I mean, I don’t…I can’t… You can’t be serious_”

  “You can and you will, and I’m very serious.” he interrupted. “If only you could feel my hard-on, you’d realize how important, how serious this situation is. There’s only one way, Baby…. don’t you want to ease my pain?”

  If I could just shut off my brain and focus on how gorgeous he was and that he was probably harmless…. then what was the worst that could happen?

  I could get cut up into hundreds of little pieces, thrown into a garbage bag, and dumped into a body of water.

  “Thanks for the offer but I’m going to have to decline,” I said smoothly, like it wasn’t worth my time. Before hanging up though, a little bit of fun was in order. You know, get him riled up a bit more, Psychopath or not.

  This was going to be great.

  My way that is.

  The fun way!

  “I’d like to thank you, though. You’ve provided great inspiration for the next hour. I’m glad I packed my double sided, vibrator. Its name is Carlos and he can’t wait to drill me with his ten –inch plastic rod. Both ways by the way, can’t waist my batteries by being selfish.” I sing into the receiver. “Bye, Sexy!”

  “What…. wait!”

  I pressed ‘end’ and threw my phone back on to the bed.

  “Jerk off to that why don’t you.” I laughed, flopping onto my bed. “All in a day’s work.”

  Satisfied with myself, I peeled off my shoes and folded down the duvet so I could crawl in. I was tired from the journey and figured a short nap would do me some good. Maybe later I’d go out, maybe find a bar and get wasted. I’d have a horrible hangover for the party tomorrow night, but who cared. My eyelids closed as my head hit the pillow.

  Four hours later…

  I was awoken by three sharp knocks on my door. My eyelids snapped open and I rubbed them as I glanced at the clock. It was just after ten at night.

  I turned on the side lamp as I pondered who could be at the door. Did the owners forget to tell me something?

  Yawning, I ran my fingers through my hair and opened the door without another thought of who it could be. It was slightly dark, only a single light fixture providing a soft glow for the entire quiet hallway. From the squint of my barely opened eye, I saw no one. I was about to step back inside my room when I noticed a dark figure to my left. Tall and wearing a familiar black cashmere sweater, I blinked a few times, thinking I must still be dreaming. My eyes grew wide as I hit the door.

  How was this possible?

  His arms were folded and his eyes, danger and anticipation burning from within were on me. A sardonic smile stretched slowly across his face.

  His blue eyes twinkled. “Hello again, Marisa.”

  Shit.

  CHAPTER 6

  I’m fucked!

  Xander pushed off the wall and walked slowly towards me.

  “So this is where you’re staying.” He stopped an inch from me, staring down.

  He was not coming inside.

  “How did you find me?” I asked, confused and scared out of my mind.

  “Ah, a gentleman never tells his secrets.” Xander smirked and entered my room.

  I entered right after him. “Who invited you in?”

  “Your eyes did.” He sat down on my bed, his long, strong fingers grasping the edge. “Well, what are we going to do now?”

  I shut the door¸ not knowing what I should be doing and leaned against it.

  My brain was turning off.

  What the hell was this, a booty call, a one-night stand, a random hook-up?

  “Come here.” Xander ordered quietly but firmly.

  Yeah, I want this… I decided and strode towards him. I sat on the edge of the bed next to him, carefully avoiding his eyes while my heart was beating at a thousand miles a second.

  “Look at me.” he ordered.

  Shit.

  “What?” I asked, examining the stretch of duvet between us. There wasn’t much room between our thighs, one shift from each of us and I’d be sitting on him.

  “Baby, look at me,” he demanded.

  The sanity ship was about to sink completely.

  “Okay.” I took my time travelling up his hand and body until I made my way to his perfect jaw line. I hesitated on his lips before moving up to the side of face and over his cheeks. Finally, I’d reached my destination, the X on the map. His eyes were ready and waiting. They scorched with heat, hypnotically demanding me to succumb to his every demand.

  Well…hot damn!

  Xander raised an arm and caressed my cheek, outlining my lips with his index finger. I closed my eyes as he circled them for a second time, slower. A strange wave of emotion reverberated through my body and my head involuntarily tilted back as if to make it easier for the blood to rush about.

  He grabbed the other side of my head with his free hand and straightened my neck. I opened my eyes and he slowly leaned in. I closed my eyes again, waiting for his lips to touch mine, but instead I felt him lower into my neck, inhaling.

  Was he smelling me?

  “You smell good.” he mumbled into my skin.

  I rested my head on his shoulder. “Um, thanks.”

  He took another smell, exaggerating the sniffle. “You smell real good.”

  “I have good body wash.” I shrugged.

  “What brand?” he whispered.

  Really?

  My eyes widened in amusement at his questioning. “Sea Bath Lilies.”

  “You do smell like flowers and fish.” He spoke to my skin. “It smells amazing.”

  I snorted. “Fuck off, I don’t smell like fish. Flowers on the other hand… that’s what I smell like all the time.”

  “Stop it, you’re making it harder.” he warned, burying his lips further into my neck.

  “Making what harder?” I was still as he buried his face into my neck.

  “Not asking you what I’ve wanted to since the train.” he murmured into my skin.

  “Okay… What’s that?”

  He exhaled. “Can I try on your underwear?”

  My head jerked back from his shoulder in alarm. “What!”

  He let go of me and held the edge of the bed tightly. “Baby, please, let me try on your underwear.”

  “Why do you want to wear my underwear?” I asked, feeling like nothing made sense anymore.

  “Let. Me. Try. On. Your. Underwear.” Xander ordered quietly, enunciating each word.

  WHAT.

  THE.

  FUCK!

  I jumped off the bed and stood in front of him with my arms crossed. “You’re joking right?”

  He leapt off the bed and halted an inch from my face. “Why not?”

  I cringed. “Because I’m not into that shit, that’s why.”

  “You’ll like it, trust me.” He spoke in his sexy voice again, but I was too freaked out about this new development to be affected

  “Stop acting like a sexy gigolo! You’re a fucking fake! My underwear stays on, jerk off!” I yelled at him.

  His jaw dropped, but he quickly snapped it shut and pointed to my bag. “Then let me try one on from your luggage, you must have spares.”

  “I don’t have another one.” I replied coolly.

  He grimaced, looking at me like I was crazy. “Yes you do, that’s gross.”

  “That’s gross?” I practically laughed in amazement. “Mother Fucker, you’re the one who wants to try on my panties.”

  He had the audacity to shrug. “Yeah, so what? It’s not a big deal.”

  “It is a big deal,” I retorted. “And you’d probably rip them!”

  His eyes widened like I’d offended him. “No, they wouldn’t, my ass is smaller than yours!”

  I wanted to skull fuck this guy to the moon. He was pissing me off! “How dare you! My ass is not bigger than yours, you’re a guy!”

  “My ass is firm a
nd small. If you’re good and let me wear your panty’s, I’ll let you grab this.” Xander’s hand glided down his left buttock, erotically. “Let me slide your panty’s on and jerky jerk in them.”

  Crack, crack, crack! Shocked to the billionth degree. Before I could respond he bursts out laughing, shaking his head at me like he got me on a prank.

  “You’re playing me now, aren’t you!” My head shook frantically, incredulous to the millionth murderous degree. “You’re not serious at all!”

  He grinned. “Maybe I am, maybe I’m not.”

  “A menace!” I yelled, pointing at him. “A trickster!”

  In two seconds he’s in my space, lowering my arm down. “And?”

  “Tell me you’re not serious.” I pleaded with him.

  “Why?” he asked. “Is it that bad?”

  I yanked my arm out of his grasp and went to the door. “You need to leave.”

  He raised an eyebrow like how dare I. “And if I don’t?”

  I exhaled before answering, trying to calm myself down. But it didn’t work. I was still crazy. “Then I’ll be going to jail… for murder.”

  CHAPTER 7

  Why me?

  This shit was not supposed to happen to people like me. I didn’t invite him inside my room. He came in on his own.

  I was the innocent one here.

  Honestly!

  I slid down the door, plopping onto the floor, my head resting on bent knees. Tears of frustration began flowing down my face, dripping on my skirt. The bed springs creaked as Xander pushed off. With watery eyes, I glanced at him and aqua blue pierced back at me. The charm, the kink, the sexy look had disappeared, replaced by an expression that on some would have resembled empathy. He sat down and wrapped his arm around my shoulders. I looked at him in surprise.

  I should have punched him, but his sincerity shocked me. My head found its way onto his shoulder and I focussed on breathing.

  “Thanks.” I mumbled.

  “It’s all good.” Xander whispered back, squeezing my shoulder.

  “Thanks for the hundred dollar tip too.” I said, my brain starting to feel like mush.

  Xander chuckled lightly. “No problem.”

  “Are you really into that shit?” I asked, my head still on his shoulder.

  Xander pulled his arm down and leaned back, smirking. “Does it even matter anymore?”

  “So you…. really were joking with me?” I asked, hopeful.

  He gave my shoulder a friendly squeeze and got off the floor. “Maybe I was, maybe I wasn’t. It doesn’t matter anymore. Enough of this wallowing.”

  I stared up at him. “I’m not wallowing, you’ve traumatized me.”

  “Get up.” he ordered.

  “Why?” I asked as I got up. “So you can fuck me up so more?”

  He smirked. “Because we’re going out.”

  “Why the fuck would I go anywhere with you?” I snapped and got up.

  He’s just a little kinky…. it’s harmless.

  “An apology for what just happened. I’ll take you to a place you’ll never forget.” Xander explained.

  I sighed, unsure of what I should do. “But… what if you try and kill me?”

  Xander smirked and shook his head at me. “Darling, if I wanted you dead, you’d already be dead. I’m in your room, nobody’s outside and there are no cameras. I could have my way with you and nobody would ever know. Trust me.”

  He did kind of make a good point….

  “If there’s any funny business, I’ll rip your dick off.” I warned and leaned down to pick up my shoes. “Let’s go.”

  “Oh, no.” he exclaimed, eyeing my outfit with a horrified look. “You have to change first.”

  “What are you talking about? My outfit is brand new, why would I change?” I asked, offended at his disapproval.

  He sneered, eying my outfit. “Because it’s all wrinkled and belongs on the streets rather than where we’re going.”

  “I don’t have anything else,” I sighed, suddenly exhausted. “I only have one other outfit and that’s for my dad’s birthday tomorrow.”

  I’m never going to be good enough for anybody, not even maybe kinky ladies’-underwear-wearing Xander. My life sucks!

  I kicked away my shoes and sat on the edge of the bed with my head down. I could feel those fucking tears coming again….

  “Oh no, not the waterworks again,” he muttered worriedly, coming over to sit by me. His arm circled my shoulders, pulling me into him.

  “I don’t have anything good enough,” I mumbled, choking back the lump that was building in my throat.

  “It’s all right. Easy enough to fix,” he explained sweetly.

  I looked at him confused. “What do you mean ‘easy enough to fix’?”

  “Show me what you’re wearing tomorrow night.”

  I hesitantly got off the bed and crouched next to my bag. I unzipped it and took out my shiny black skinny jeans, and a transparent black blouse with the white tank top I planned to wear under it. He scanned the items with his assertive eyes.

  Well?

  My patience was wearing thin, I wanted to know whether he approved, because, because, because… I had no fucking idea!

  He nodded once. “Yes. This is what you’re going to wear tonight.”

  I shook my head. “No, this is my outfit for tomorrow. If I stain or wrinkle it, I’ll have nothing for tomorrow!”

  “Don’t you worry about that, it’ll be good to go for tomorrow,” Xander told me calmly.

  I eyed him warily. I couldn’t believe him. I looked back at my outfit, then the realization hit me: I hadn’t packed shoes to go with it!

  “What now?” he asked, seeing my worried look.

  I took a deep, stabilizing breath before explaining. “I forgot my shoes at home.”

  Xander chuckled lightly. “That’s it? That’s why you’re upset?”

  He took my shoulders in his hands, squeezing them. “Have no fear, that’s another easy fix.”

  *~*~*

  I heard Xander make a phone call while I changed inside the tiny en-suite bathroom. I stared at the outfit I was supposed to wear to Dad’s birthday party tomorrow night. At this time of night, I figured we were either going to a bar or a restaurant. Whichever one it was, I’d have to be extremely careful not to stain my clothes. I would be wearing them again tomorrow night.

  Why the hell was I going out with this psycho trickster, maybe ladies underwear wearing, princess boy, again?

  My brain quickly answered. “We’re sorry, Marisa’s common sense department is closed for the entire weekend. Don’t leave a message, nobody up here cares and won’t remember to bring it up on Monday morning when shit hit’s the fan and that’s only if she’s not dead by that time from making this horrible mistake of going out with a complete stranger.”

  “Are you ready, darling?” Xander’s muffled voice asked the door.

  Taking one final glance in the mirror, I zipped my makeup case and opened the bathroom door, finding Xander lying on my bed with his arms crossed behind his head, gazing at me expectantly.

  “Hey panty boy…. Where are we going?” I asked while still in the doorframe.

  A giant, mischievous grin spread across his face.

  What am I in for tonight and will I make it out alive?

  CHAPTER 8

  LETHE… The large, neon blue sign blazed, brightening the dark alley the taxi idled in. I stared open-mouthed at the large double doors – there were no knobs or keyholes, the only way in was if someone inside opened the door for you. The sound of rusted locks creaked. Both doors swung open under the thrust of a pair of black-suited bouncers with neon blue neckties. We entered a dark hallway with neon blue tiles stretching towards a lone elevator.

  The elevator chimed and the door slid open, a hint of trance music trickling out. My hand was tugged forward and I followed Xander into the elevator. I stood with my sweaty hand in Xander’s tight palm. He had sunglasses on.

  Wh
y did he need sunglasses when I could barely see as it was?

  “Why are you wearing sunglasses?” I whispered.

  He didn’t glance my way, but under the dim glow of the number pad I saw his lips begin to move.

  “You’ll see,” he replied nonchalantly. The elevator chimed to announce our arrival on the main floor. He turned slightly towards me. “Are you ready, my dear?”

  “I hope so, panty boy.” I murmured as the elevator door opened.

  Blue smoke filled every inch of my vision. I was tugged forward as Xander exited first. We collided with blue smoke and pulsing bright blue lasers that glided over our bodies. I’ve never seen a club like this before. In the centre was a circular bar where servers were dressed in sexy white outfits that the lasers turned into a glowing blue. In the centre of the bar was a round stage with three poles extending to the ceiling. Pole dancers, in incredible costumes of white feathers and wings, moved their bodies artfully to the music and lights.

  Upstairs, we entered a private room with a white sectional, a white coffee table in front, and an amazing view of the entire club, including the dance floor that I hadn’t been able to see from below. A staff member appeared, carrying a tray with six small glasses filled with blue liquid. He placed the tray on the table and left.

  “What’s that?” I stared, hypnotized by blue liquid. The cups looked like they were carved out of ice.

  “Have you ever had a Blue Lethe?” Xander asked, leaning over the table, his hand hovering by the glasses.

  I shook my head, “What’s a Blue Lethe?” I was growing more and more apprehensive. Maybe… going out with this sketchy fuck wasn’t the best idea.

  A sardonic smile stretched across his face, his eyes still covered by shades.

  “That’s precisely what you’ll be asking yourself tomorrow.” He smirked and grabbed two drinks, handing me one. I took it reluctantly.

  Explosions erupted all across my tongue as if I’d just downed a cup of Pop Rocks. I stuck my tongue out in shock and turned to Xander, who was beside himself as he tried to stifle his laughter.

  “What is this?” I screamed hysterically, pointing to my extended tongue.