A Home for the Redeemed

by Sue Behnke

  In that living room and at that moment, Carl felt his heart ignited with passion again. His heart had turned from the petty circumstances that had plagued him lately, and he was waiting for the orders of a king, a king he had crowned over his life decades ago. He sat and waited expectantly.

  In the lull after the whirlwind of his prayer time, a picture emerged in his mind—his mother scolding him a tad harshly for some trivial misdemeanor. A repressed emotion was bubbling up, words he repressed deep in the well of his seven-year-old soul. “Stupid woman, you don’t tell me what to do! I hate you!”

  He knew there were many other times when he had hated his mother as a child. It was his way of resenting her authority over him, hating his own helplessness.

  Carl allowed the emotion to be fully revealed to his consciousness, pushing away the shame that had kept it hidden from him all these years.

  As he was breathing out the anger that had been lodged in for decades, a picture of a teacher deriding him in front of the class and cutting him to size through ridicule popped up uninvited, reminding him of another female he had hated throughout his teenage years.

  It took Carl hours to release the rage at these incidents. It occurred to him that he had judged and avoided strong women all his life out of fear of a repeat of these humiliations. He suspected other painful memories would probably emerge soon enough.

  Maybe he had kept Maria at an arm’s length out of fear. He would need to explore this further.

  At the crack of dawn, Carl felt a deep peace washing over him. He went to bed and slept like a baby.

  Chapter 28

  Benjamin and the Angel

  Even the day after, Benjamin was still keeping very quiet. Jane had left the church steaming, but had regained her composure after prayer. She was concerned now for Benjamin, and in her sweet motherly way, she was trying to explain the humanity of churches.

  Benjamin lifted his head and interrupted her. “Janie, I knew what was happening there, the angel had already showed me that this pastor was near quitting. He told me the church needed to rally around him and help him if the group was going to survive. They are to become a family instead of an institution. They can no longer put their pastor on a pedestal and pelt him with filth. They have to embrace him and help him stand. There were a couple of other things I’m also supposed to share with him.”

  Jane just opened her mouth and then closed it. She decided to mind her own business. What pastor would listen to this? She felt sorry for Benjamin. He was going to get trampled by this experience for sure.

  She finished her tea quickly and stepped out, muttering some excuse.

  Chapter 29

  Rejection

  Geena was answering the most hilarious phone call to date. She was struggling to keep her composure, but she could not help a muffled laugh escape every few seconds.

  “Excuse me, sir. Let me get this straight. God took you to heaven. No, sorry. An angel took you to heaven. Ahem.

  “Yes, you were given a sublime message for our pastor. Aaah, I see.

  “I see. Er … you see, he cannot receive that call, sir. He is … otherwise engaged. Yes—

  “Can I perhaps let him know your name?” she asked as soberly as she could before covering the phone and letting laughter escape. “Yes, I’m sure he will consider your … request. He will call back when he can. He is very busy nowadays as you can probably surmise. Thank you. Good day, Mr. Vice. Oh, all right, Mr. Weiss. Good now.”

  Geena hung up and laughed heartily for a long time. It made her day. She would not disturb the pastor now with this. He certainly did not need more strange items on his to-do list; but they would laugh their little hearts out when he had a minute.

  Chapter 30

  Leaning on a Friend

  Carl was having yet another meeting with Bob. The old pastor turned out to be an amazing blessing, a wealth of wisdom, knowledge, and to Carl’s great relief, discretion.

  “You know, Bob, it has been years since I felt the manifest presence of the Lord and his guidance. I love my congregation, but I have to admit I have been ministering in the flesh for a long time. I feel I let the Lord down. It is like I appropriated his gifts and used them without him. I’m so heartily ashamed.”

  “Hey, Carl, welcome to the world of humans. It is so hard sometimes to see his glory, believe it or not. This is a well-trodden road, I’m afraid. The main thing is to stop beating yourself up and start the road to recovery. I believe the Lord is overjoyed to be back in power in your life. He never left you, Carl. He has just been waiting to be invited back. He is a gentleman that way, you know.”

  Carl was so consumed with the renewed vigor in his prayer life. He dreamt aloud of distant travels, of missionary work, or visits to terrible prisons, anything wild and difficult. Bob seemed quiet and attentive, clearly enjoying the newfound enthusiasm and hope in Carl.

  Sobering up, Carl spoke at length regarding his brush with lust, and he listened intently to Bob’s advice.

  “Bob, I could not have spoken of this to anyone else. Somehow, I lost my footing when it came to my marriage. I let things go stale. I think on some level I felt Maria let me down because she was not competing with what the world considers beautiful. She is a beautiful woman, but she does not flaunt it, if you know what I mean. I guess all men like to brag about their wives.”

  “Carl, my friend, you have believed a lie. These days the message we’re sending through the media and through our behavior is that a woman has to please all men before her husband can be proud to have her at his side. This is garbage and defilement. A woman’s worth is in the glory the Lord has deposited in her. She needs to be treated like a princess for the Lord’s sake and ours. My brother, I will pray that the Lord opens the eyes of your heart in this area. You are the chosen one to deliver God’s love to your wife as she delivers God’s love to you.”

  Carl resolved to effectively change his life and strengthen his marriage. He would speak to Maria the same day.

  As the meeting broke, Bob rose up to leave. Carl opened the office’s door, and he saw that Geena was standing, grinning, her face eager. “I have just answered the funniest call in this century.” She could barely contain herself, bursting out laughing in the middle of sentences and then repeating herself with a bit more sobriety.

  “A man claimed he was taken to heaven to give you a message.”

  At first Carl was smiling broadly at the silliness of it all. One glance at Bob stopped him short. Bob stayed quiet, eyes looking far away. When Geena finished her account, he gently excused himself and left.

  “Geena, did you get the name and number of the gentleman?”

  “Dear heavens, no! His name was Weiss, but who wants a raving lunatic ranting around the office? I honestly would be too scared.”

  Carl was not sure what to think.

  Chapter 31

  Maria the Beautiful

  Maria had spent a peaceful afternoon with her aging mother. She took such pleasure combing her thinning hair, baking a few wonderful meals for her, and helping her with various needs. She gave her oodles of love and blankets of hugs. She came home satisfied and content.

  As she opened the door, a wonderful aroma of stew took her by surprise. She looked in and saw four bouquets of flowers lighting up the room. She smiled. What was Carl up to now?

  He was in the kitchen, cleaning up a spill of gravy off the floor. He looked discomfited and so helpless, smearing the brown goo over the tiles instead. She burst out laughing and ran to help him.

  Carl held her hands affectionately and led her to the dining room. He had a beautiful meal set up, the fancy plates and cutlery on the table.

  “Okay, Carl, what are you up to?”

  “Maria, I received an amazing revelation.” Carl opened his heart about the night before, trusting Maria would see his vulnerability and become his strength. He spoke at length of the incident with Barb and the old traumas in his heart that he was addressing now.

  “Maria
, I promise you before the God whom I serve that I will endeavor to open my heart to you and let you closer to me. I want to invite you to love me again, and I hope you will trust to let me closer to you. I love you with all my heart.”

  Maria was moved to the core of her being. She put her head on his shoulder and just held on to him for the longest time.

  “Maria, would you marry me again? This time, it will be a true stage-two marriage with an oath to trust each other and allow each other closer, no matter what fears we need to break. What do you say, Maria?”

  Maria’s tears were streaming down her face.

  She barely whispered a yes.

  Chapter 32

  A Naked Isaiah

  Carl did not attend his church that Sunday. He did not want to face the people while he was still undecided on some very important matters.

  He asked one of the elders to speak, and the man eagerly obliged. The subject dear to the elder’s heart was evangelism in the workplace. Carl did not have the energy to even look at the points the man was proposing to share. He no longer felt like a leader or a member of the congregation. He was going to focus on his marriage instead.

  Bob called that evening.

  “Carl, my dear friend, I hope you rested well.” Bob inquired about Maria and her family as well as Carl’s. He took some time listening attentively to Carl, even though it was obvious he had something on his mind. Bob never seemed hurried or frustrated about much. He concentrated on the task at hand and “did his due diligence,” as he liked to say, to solve every issue that came his way. Bob was mostly a man of prayer, trusting that everything would turn out for good for those who loved God and waited on him.

  “Carl, I have two points to discuss. The first one is more of a request. The elders from your congregation called this afternoon and asked to see me. I would like your approval before I answer them. I think they want to discuss their concerns and come to an understanding of sorts.”

  Carl, though curious, had no issues with the meeting.

  “The next item on my agenda is nagging at me. It is about this gentleman who called to say he had a divine message. It is troubling me that he did not get a chance to be heard.

  “Carl, when I first started my ministry, a question hounded me for the longest time. What would I do if God sent me a naked Isaiah?

  “You know as well as I do, that Isaiah walked naked in Israel for three years. What if God decided to send a naked Isaiah in my church? Would I be able to discern the hand of the Lord, or would I dismiss him as a maniac?

  “What if God asked someone in your congregation to dig through a wall like he asked Ezekiel? Would we have more discernment than the people of his days? After all, we have their stories that teach and forewarn us. Would that help us discern?

  “This man could, of course, be out there, but what would it cost to listen to him and pray?”

  Carl explained that he had no way to communicate with the person in question.

  “I guess that settles the matter then. I must say this is bothering me a bit, Carl. Anyway, see you soon, my friend.”

  Carl was extremely uncomfortable now. He could not help but wonder if he missed a crucial message.

  Chapter 33

  Jane Takes a Stand

  Jane was facing a dilemma. Benjamin did not think she should be involved in the conflict between God, the church, and himself. He did not even share the full details of the last supernatural encounter, firmly believing that it was a message for the pastor of that particular church.

  She held court in her own mind and debated the matter for days. After a very short conversation with Benjamin, they decided not to go to church on Sunday. She knew Benjamin was deeply humiliated and resentful.

  She kept quietly to herself, praying frequently, pondering, and wondering. On one hand, she thought Benjamin did not present his case wisely, which left him vulnerable to reproach and ridicule. On the other hand, her beloved Lord had entrusted Benjamin with a message for his bride, the church. Was it really a good idea to take offense and walk away?

  She prayed long and hard about this, and she sought peace and confirmation for her theory. She ended up with one conclusion. The church was her Father’s house, and therefore, she could consider herself a coworker there, welcome or not. She had to help somehow. She had to try.

  Chapter 34

  Maria’s Revelation

  “Maria, what do you believe you were created for? I mean, do you have an unfulfilled dream you would like us to look at, if you had the time?” Carl looked at her tenderly, giving her all his attention.

  He was expecting Maria to speak of a women’s ministry or the children on Sunday mornings. Her answer took him completely by surprise.

  She was speaking very slowly and thoughtfully. “For a while now, Carl, I have been very interested in creating a center where we can serve our community in a multitude of capacities.”

  “What do you mean, dear?”

  “I would love to help manage a place where there would be a kitchen for those who need a meal, knitting once a week, teaching crochet and sewing, giving free haircuts once a month, helping children with homework a couple of evenings a week, teaching music. Oh, Carl! There is so much that can be done. It can be so exciting. We can also have a team that helps with social issues like helping people off the street and out of prostitution or addictions. The opportunities are endless.”

  Her face had lit up, stars dancing in her eyes. He could see the sincerity of her heart written on her face.

  “Maria, I’m so grieved, but I understand why you did not come to me with this dream before. How do you see such a center being run?”

  “Carl, I honestly don’t believe Christians belong in the pews. Everyone has talents. Depending on the strength of the members of the church, we can create different groups that serve the community. We keep telling them to go and share God’s love, but we have never given them a safe place where they can learn and make mistakes.”

  Carl was intrigued. He kept asking her question after question just for the pleasure of extending that moment and seeing her joyful and full of hope. That was the Maria he had fallen in love with.

  Chapter 35

  A New Day

  Another Sunday was looming. Carl’s heart was still undecided and heavy. He wanted to take a sabbatical, but the elders would not hear of it. He did not prepare a teaching, so he finally decided to speak from the heart. At the last minute on an impulse, he turned to Maria as they were driving to church and said, “Love, would you be willing to share the microphone with me today? Would you speak to the congregation about your dream?”

  Maria started laughing. She was delighted and nervous. At first, she felt she wasn’t prepared enough, but then it was too exciting a project, so she finally agreed, if he promised to stand with her and help if she messed up.

  He felt such joy looking at her face, realizing he had not seen her so happy in such a long time. He looked through the rearview mirror at his teenage son staring blankly out of the window, and he silently prayed for an opportunity to see him that happy and fulfilled too.

  Before Maria had a chance to get to the microphone, the elders rose and addressed the church. They wanted to be the first to repent for their behavior against the pastor and ask for his forgiveness. They set up a chair up in front of all and asked the pastor to sit and face the church, after which they proceeded to wash his feet.

  Carl was extremely touched. He had loved on these people for so long, but he had been so hurt by their seemingly callous behavior toward him.

  He went on his knees and addressed his beloved spiritual family.

  “I need to ask your forgiveness as well. I have struggled in my heart with judgement and resentment. I love you all too much to allow bitterness to bind my soul. The finances of the church have been giving me cause for concern. I allowed himself to feel abandoned. I had been so immersed in the affairs of the building that I had forgotten that the assembly was the church, not the walls. W
e can get a smaller building if need be. We will have the building serve you, not the other way around.”

  He eagerly wanted to keep loving and serving them, if they would still have him. The response was eager acceptance from most. He could hear Brendan hollering his approval from somewhere in the pews.

  He asked Maria to stand by him as they rekindled their relationship with the church, vowing a new ministry outlook. Finally, Maria shared her dreams to excitement and applause.

  As his eyes were drawn to the far left, he saw Jane Weiss sitting alone in tears. Carl knew the congregation was witnessing the revival of loving-kindness, and it was touching the heart of the people.

  Jane sought him after the service to let him know that she understood why God would want to intervene and help. She had resolved to be part of this wonderful family. She was finally home. Carl was overjoyed. He noticed that she was struggling with something else she wanted to say, but she shied away, so he moved to other people standing behind her, waiting to hug him and welcome him back.

  Chapter 36

  Addressing Barb

  At Maria’s request, Carl invited her and a few elders to join him as they called Barb. He put the call on speakerphone so that Maria would be able to hear Barb and participate in the conversation.

  Carl introduced Maria and the elders into the conversation immediately, but Barb sounded very uncomfortable.

  “Barb, I realize people called you and have made outrageous assumptions. I was on a short prayer retreat and could not handle the situation on the spot. I ask your forgiveness for any discomfort and confusion that resulted from this.”

  “This is probably the most confusing thing ever. I don’t know why you’re all gathered against me. I don’t understand what has gone wrong here. Your secretary said I acted inappropriately, but I don’t know. Anyway, please be informed, all of you, that I’m not planning to come back to your church. So let’s not talk about this anymore.”