A Home for the Redeemed

by Sue Behnke

  Jane closed the diary as one closes a chapter of a life. She will leave Benjamin’s parents and move on. Benjamin will have to make his own decisions.

  Chapter 75

  Hugging an Urchin

  Carl checked the address again and knocked. He could hear a shuffle inside, but no one came to the door. He knocked again …… and then knocked one last time. He called out his name. Brendan opened the door slightly and looked at the pastor with obvious annoyance.

  “Yeah, it’s you! I thought it was the landlord. Insufferable nuisance he is! What can I do for you, padre?”

  “Brendan, can we talk?”

  “See, there is not much to say! I just am tired of listening, see. I’m tired of running around ’cause others are telling me to. I’m no longer jumping through hoops! No, padre. You once said I was in control of whatever the process you were juggling was. Well, I’m closing that door. If I was truly in control, you would not be speaking to me right now, see!”

  Carl was bewildered. As Brendan slowly closed the door, Carl managed to say, “You know where to find me, brother.”

  Carl walked to the car in a state of shock and drove straight home. His mind was reeling. He asked Maria for privacy, went straight into the bedroom, and closed the door.

  He kept reviewing in his mind the ministry he invested in this man, the hours of prayer, and the tears he had shed for Brendan’s life and victory. He sat on the floor for hours, fists clenched, screaming silently at God, “It’s not fair!” over and over and over.

  Chapter 76

  Blaming God

  Carl spent a few days in a daze. He was in despair over the relapse of Brendan. When his wife called again from the shelter, he had no idea how to comfort her. She wept and wept on the other end of the phone, asking for news, hanging on every word, seeking some hope to cling to.

  “I wish I had some good news. He looked in rough shape. He refused to speak to me.”

  “How could that be? I thought he was walking with God. I don’t understand why. Can you please explain to me why God would allow this. I don’t get it. I’m losing everything. I don’t know where to go from here. I’m so scared of even taking a short walk to a store or driving my kid to a park. Please tell me why God would do this to me.”

  Carl felt anger welling up, drowning the heartache. He wanted to shout and scream, stomp his foot, and swear that he was not God’s spokesman, that he did not sit in heaven at his right or left side. He wanted to yell his frustration at Brendan, who just gave up and fell apart, who is now shunning him. He wanted to tell her how much he had prayed and cried for Brendan, even after he was unceremoniously rejected, the door slammed in his face. He just wanted to tell her he could not take on anymore grief. His heart was full to the brim.

  Instead he took a deep breath, trying to reach deeper within, past the hurt and the sorrow, and draw some strength in order to reach out and comfort her. He was trying to find something to say. He knew God was not expecting to be defended. He knew that when she came to her senses, she would find that she knew this all along. He still spoke as gently as he could.

  “My friend, God is not to blame for this. We are the ones who decide how involved God gets to be in our lives. Brendan has chosen to walk it alone. He is angry, and he has made a few very bad decisions. He refused any help anyone could provide. He effectively shut me and the church out of his life. Please know that I will still be praying for him. I need to wait for him to allow me to help him. No one can force Brendan to receive when he flatly declared the door shut.

  “We want to be there for you meanwhile. We need to know how we can help you get back on your feet. Maria will be delighted to visit with you and determine your urgent needs.”

  The woman was understandably distraught. She appeared to have no interest really in any explanations. She started crying again, wondered aloud what would become of them, said a quick good-bye, and hung up.

  Carl slumped on his desk, head in hand, praying and begging God for more wisdom. What can a mere man do in these circumstances?

  In this whole affair, Carl was certain of one thing and one thing only. God loved Brendan more than any of them did, and he was probably the most heartbroken of all.

  Chapter 77

  Touching Heaven

  Bob withdrew and prayed for two weeks. He could not find it within him to take the call he received lightly. He was so eager to be productive and fruitful again, but he was concerned about being faithful to his walk with his God as opposed to walking with men.

  It took him a long time to kill the enthusiasm in his heart. He knew he wanted to jump on that opportunity. It was an inherent part of the problem. He needed discernment instead, and that was so difficult, given all the emotions in his flesh. So he withdrew and spent his days emptying his heart of fleshly desires in order to discern a direction or a sign from the heavens.

  He was not in the habit of accepting any task unless he knew he could devote himself and be counted faithful to that particular call. It was key to discover then by the grace of God what he would be held accountable for in the eyes of his Lord. His ultimate agenda was to finish the race faithfully, being counted a bond servant to the King, his ear pierced by an awl of the Lord, branded by his love.

  He knew Carl needed him, and he was waiting impatiently. He smiled at the thought of the pastor’s boyish expectancy, and he was grateful that he went to all the trouble he did to try to get him on board.

  Bob went to the Friday evening prayer, sat in a corner, and listened as people praised and prayed. He did not offer prayers or petitions. He was not sure what to expect really.

  When the meeting sort of ended and people were prayed out, they gathered around him and welcomed him home. They were asking him all sorts of questions, hungry for wisdom from his vast experience.

  He felt he was given to put his finger on the pulse of the church, a glimpse at the needs of the believers there. His mind was set. He was ready to meet with the leadership.

  Chapter 78

  Bob the Wise

  “So Bob, would you be inclined to take the yoke with us and carry this church forward?”

  Carl was obviously excited, trying to steer the meeting toward positive results. They chatted about Bob’s skills and past experience. They chuckled with Bob at his transparency, at the mistakes he had made, sometimes with hilarious results. When the time finally came for him to share his expectations and what he was hoping to achieve in their church, Bob had definite and precise plans.

  “Well, gentlemen, you know I’m very honored to be considered for the team. I’m no longer a young man, and I don’t pretend to the vigor of the present elders. I’m also eager to do a few things for the kingdom before I join my Lord.”

  Bob rubbed his chin pensively and continued, “My number-one priority at this stage of my life is building up the army of believers. I would like to create a training unit, discipling five or six people at a time. I believe I can help them grow in courage, self-control, and discipline. In a small team, it is easier to discern their personal needs, help them overcome their fears, and perceive where they are tripping otherwise. If you feel that the title of elder would not fit this task but would still allow me to do this work, I don’t need a title. Being Bob is fine with me.”

  He looked to Carl now as if asking for his permission.

  “Another important task for me is to take Benjamin on as maybe a deacon. I would oversee and train him. The Lord has brought up this man and singled him out. We need to be faithful and train him until the Lord reveals his plans.”

  He smiled now and added, almost encouraging them to join in on the next point of order, “A last task, if you would indulge me, is gathering the leaders of the city once a month. Unity is precious before the Lord. We need to pray for the city and for the homosexual community. We need to address the issues facing the church and pray for the peace of Jerusalem.”

  It was obvious the leaders were impressed but needed to consider the matter of Benjami
n joining the ranks, even in principle. The meeting ended cheerfully. Bob knew Carl was convinced and undoubtedly on his side.

  Chapter 79

  Litany of Self-Pity

  Brendan’s mind was spinning. He sat up in bed, seething, trying to figure out where they might be hiding. At his side a woman was sleeping, another wretch he picked up at a hangout, eager to share his booze, his drugs, and his bed. He felt sick to his stomach. It occurred to him that the diseases he had just exposed himself to would probably finish him before the drugs had a chance at his miserable life.

  He pushed her roughly and told her to leave. She swore at him and left the room. He could hear her rummaging for food in the kitchen, not finding any, cursing, and slamming the front door.

  Self-pity grabbed at him again. He gave himself to its temptations eagerly. They had all betrayed and abandoned him. They probably would all be happier if he were dead. The pastor might even pretend to shed a few tears during the eulogy, describing how they left him to the dogs! Anger replaced his inner whining. He wanted revenge. Maybe he could call the media and give them a piece of his mind. He would! He could tell them how the church left him high and dry, left him to die, no less!

  A few pitiful tears started flowing. His life was in ruins! He kept repeating to himself.

  He did not miss his wife. No, she had betrayed him too. Instead of helping him and loving on him, she pushed him away, and then she took the child and ran. She deserved his hatred. She had been careful not to visit her sister, not at the times when he lurked in the neighborhood in any case. He made sure to visit the parks that his little girl loved, even where her little best friend lived, but to no avail again. No the shrew had been wise. How he loathed her!

  Finally, he turned his hatred to God. “I hate you,” he screamed aloud. He wanted the world to hear it. “I hate you! It is all your fault! This crappy life is your doing, O lovely one, I hate you! Don’t you ever come near me again! I’m out!”

  He looked around the room and found a bottle of beer that had escaped their notice the night before. He put it on his lips and guzzled down the whole thing.

  Chapter 80

  One Last Chance

  Carl addressed the congregation. So many of the men and women of the church were aspiring, both secretly or openly, to the elders’ positions. Carl’s heart was stirred with compassion. He knew of the desperate desire to serve and the need to feel a certain progression in one’s spiritual life. He was also concerned that some would be offended by the prospect of bringing in an elder as opposed to raising a mature man from the local pew to the position. He humbly explained the issues closest to their hearts and what they believed the church needed. He also explained that they felt the optimum answer was going to come from outside the local congregation—pumping experience, wisdom, and new anointed blood into the leadership and the direction of the church.

  He could see the disappointment registering on some of the faces. He spoke of the center they were hoping to start, how every member would be able to exercise their skills and grow their ministries in a safe, hands-on place where they could make mistakes and be mentored. Now that the people were prepared, it was time for Bob to join their ranks.

  At home he got a call from Brendan. The man was ranting and raving on the phone, accusing the pastor of plotting with his wife to hide his child.

  “Brendan, can you please get hold of yourself. You don’t sound sane, man. What’s the problem?”

  “Where have you hidden my child? I know she contacted you! I just know she did!” He was growling now.

  “You are absolutely right she did. She was distraught. She’s in hiding, Brendan. She’s afraid for her safety and that of the child. Do you want to talk about it?”

  Brendan’s tone became cold and slightly menacing.

  “No, as I mentioned before, I’m not interested. I want my little girl. That’s all. Now where is she?”

  “Brendan, this is enough. You can’t scare or intimidate me. If you’re only calling to inquire about your family, I believe they’re well, but I don’t know their whereabouts.

  “Since you are on the phone, I will plead with you this last time. Don’t throw away your life and your loved ones. Your wife and child love you, but they are terrified of where you are heading. You are the man of the house. They trusted you when your life was in control, when you were trying to walk upright. They were proud of you. What are you doing with your life? Let us help you! You may need more specialized help. We can help you find the answers you are looking for.”

  “I want to see my girl, man. She’s mine! That’s all I want! As to the shrew, tell her I can easily find a younger, slimmer, and a better-looking woman anytime!”

  “Brendan, I’m sure you can find another woman, but judging from the criteria you’re using to judge women, you will only end up with a shallow, empty relationship. There’s no happiness in that. A marriage is not about parading a wife around like jewelry or fine furniture. It’s about overcoming, maturing, and breaking through together. There’s so much more to marriage than age and looks!”

  Brendan snickered. Carl suddenly felt insecure for a moment. He was wondering if Brendan was laughing at Maria’s looks, or maybe the man assumed that he was ashamed of his wife.

  Carl was not going to allow him to put down Maria. He loved her far too much to allow anyone to shame her looks or her age. He was deeply proud of her. She did not need to earn it. He chose not to chastise Brendan, knowing it would just lead nowhere at this point. He kept the man on the subject at hand.

  “Brendan, I don’t doubt that you love your child though. A selfless love looks for what is best for the beloved. Do you think she’ll be happy being around you now? Do you truly believe it’s the best course of action to seek her and rip her from her mother’s arms, where she’s incidentally safer? Can’t you see that if you truly loved her, you would get well for her sake and determine to stay strong for her?”

  “Maybe I should just kill myself then. I’m best to be dead. You’d all be better off, won’t you!”

  “Brendan, your life is your own, my brother. I can’t let you control mine or manipulate my emotions. Unless you empower me to help you, you are effectively on your own. It’s breaking every part of my heart. I don’t want to let you go, but I need to release you. This is your life and your freedom to live it. Just remember I’m one phone call away. The moment you decide to come back on track and put your life back in order, I’ll be right at your side. I’ll be praying and waiting.”

  He heard a click, and the phone went dead.

  Chapter 81

  Reaching the Community

  The preparations for the center were going full steam. Many meetings and sessions were held to discern the various skills needed and the existing talents in the members of the church. Bob hoped they did not overlook too many details. They found amazing knowledge and experience right in their pews—people with pioneering hearts, financial skills, managerial strength, organizational experience, creativity, and servant hearts.

  Mature men and women were invited to form a leadership team and carry the load of the vision to fruition. Bob was having the time of his life, encouraging and building up the team, fusing the hearts around that of the Lord. It was a time of much excitement and bubbly joy, the anticipation of an explosion of sorts.

  They took two months to advertise and prepare a big community event day to celebrate the opening of something new. Maria and her team organized a barbecue and refreshments to serve. They were hoping it was a forerunner for a community kitchen pantry of a sort, distributing dry and canned foods.

  Another team had two teachers on board. They devised some math games for kids with prizes. They were offering to help kids in the community with their homework through the center.

  Younger children had a station of their own with toys, a bouncing castle, and loving supervisors. The leader had worked with children who suffered with disabilities and was hoping to create a small team that helped ove
rwhelmed parents and offered occasional babysitting.

  Old James Duff requested—and was granted—a booth for free hugs and prayer. A few prayer warriors cheerfully promised their support.

  A youth station was put together by the young men and women of the church, serving soda drinks and offering a gaming competition. A rock climbing wall was rented for the more adventurous sporty kids, and a corner with colorful cushions on the floor to make a cozy atmosphere for hanging out was organized too.

  A makeshift cafe was set up, and they served hot chocolate, tea, and coffee. Finn and Jamie offered to work there alongside a few others in order to welcome the guests and answer their questions. A chocolate fountain was the cherry on top of a great cake, and it promised to be a roaring sensation.

  Every available room in the church was opened as well as the beautiful gardens around the building.

  The community day was a megahit. Even old James Duff and his warriors were kept busy for the length of the day. They ended their day with a list of people desperate for prayer, grateful for their presence and their commitment.

  Chapter 82

  A Phase-Two Marriage

  That Sunday was a long-awaited one. Carl and Maria had invited the congregation to something different. They asked all couples who wanted to renew their vows and make a deeper commitment to one another before the Lord to join the new venture.

  It was so like Maria to be selfless and share her special day with the church. They took two weeks to prepare the interested couples, teach them, and mentor them about what soon became new lingo in the church, namely “a phase-two marriage.”

  As a first phase, the marriage would be mostly concerned with a couple adapting to each other, concerning the things of the flesh and meshing emotionally to face life together, and then a phase-two marriage was mainly spiritual, a marriage that was focused on the Lord.