Beloved Protector (Heartsong Presents)

by Darlene Mindrup

  Before she could speak, the woman told her, “My name is Nivia. Jason is my husband. I hope you don’t mind, but I have had your tunic removed to be cleaned.” She laid a yellow tunic on the tiles. “I hope you will accept this tunic in its place.”

  Embarrassed, Tapat gave her a hesitant smile. “I can pay you.”

  Nivia shook her head, returning her smile. “That is not necessary. We keep such garments for just such a purpose.”

  Tapat wasn’t certain she understood, but she nodded her head in acceptance. “Thank you.”

  She quickly searched for Hazaq and saw Euphemia bringing him over, cleaned and wrapped once again in clean swaddling cloths. He was beginning to fuss and Tapat knew that he was hungry. She was going to have to find out what they had done with the goat and her bag with the stylus.

  “As soon as you are finished, my husband and the other elders would like a word with you in the bibliotheca. Euphemia will show you the way.” Nivia patted the girl’s shoulder and Euphemia smiled up at her. “I will leave you now.”

  Tapat watched her walk away and felt a sudden sense of loss that was ridiculous under the circumstances. Perhaps it was the fact that Nivia reminded her so much of her own mother; even her coloring was the same.

  Shaking herself from her fanciful thoughts, she hurried to finish her bath. She didn’t want to keep the elders waiting. Ignoring the looks from the other women, she climbed the steps out of the bath and quickly dried herself off.

  * * *

  Andronicus stood in Jason’s bibliotheca and looked around at the numerous scrolls in their cubbyholes. His library was extensive, one of the largest Andronicus had ever seen.

  Jason and two other men came into the room, followed by servants bringing in more stools. Andronicus felt much like when he was called to come before the emperor.

  Jason motioned to a chair. “Please, have a seat.”

  Andronicus did so, looking around for Tapat. He lifted an eyebrow at the three men. Understanding the unasked question, Jason told him, “Tapat will be here momentarily.”

  The words were no more out of his mouth than Tapat walked into the room.

  Andronicus’s jaw dropped. Somehow in the past week Tapat had gone from being a dewy-eyed innocent to a woman of strong purpose. Her features had taken on a look of maturity that made one think she was a woman to be reckoned with. What had brought about such a change? He was sorry to see the one disappear, but this new woman’s eyes glowed with an intent that made him sit up and take notice.

  A soft yellow tunic clung to her feminine curves as she gracefully crossed the floor in her bare feet to stand, cuddling Hazaq, before the three men. Her still damp hair cascaded down her back in a soft black curtain, clean and shining once again.

  Andronicus swallowed hard and turned away, catching Jason’s eye. The other man was watching him intently, searching for something that Andronicus hoped hadn’t been visible on his face. Desire had flashed through him unlike anything he had ever experienced before. He donned the mask that had served him so well over the years, his features turning to stone.

  Jason indicated that Tapat should sit. Moving to the vacant seat next to Andronicus, she perched lightly on the edge of the stool.

  Andronicus reached over and stroked Hazaq’s hand, and the child grasped his finger, grinning toothlessly up at him. He grinned in return, but at a slight cough from across the room, he gave his attention back to the three men.

  Steepling his fingers in front of him, Jason bid them to tell their story. Andronicus opened his mouth to do so but was preempted when Tapat began speaking. As he listened to her telling the story, he couldn’t help but think that it would make a good play for a Greek tragedy. He also realized just how unbelievable it sounded.

  When she came to the part about Martha and Hazaq, the three men glanced at each other, their faces a study in astonishment. The look they exchanged left Andronicus slightly unsettled. They were concealing something, their eyes glittering with excitement.

  When Tapat finished her story, she sat waiting expectantly for them to say something. When they did, it was not what either of them had expected.

  The older man sitting next to Jason, who had introduced himself as Claudius, smiled at Tapat. “Surely you are an answer to our prayers, and we to yours.”

  Andronicus’s eyes narrowed skeptically. Tapat stared at them curiously.

  “Let me explain,” Jason interrupted, giving the other man a warning look. He turned back to Tapat and hesitated several seconds before he said anything else. He glanced at the other two men. “Perhaps it would be better to show her.”

  They nodded their heads vigorously in approval. Jason motioned a servant over. “Find Timothy and Bernice and bring them here.”

  When the servant had gone, Jason looked again at Tapat. “Two weeks ago, our sister, Bernice, and her husband, Timothy, lost their baby. We are uncertain what happened. They just awoke and found one morning that he had gone to be with the Lord.”

  Tapat’s face was a picture of horror. She glanced down at Hazaq, cuddling him even closer. It didn’t take much to be able to read her mind. Although Hazaq wasn’t her birth child, Tapat would be devastated if something happened to him. What she would do if Hazaq did not survive had concerned Andronicus the entire trip.

  Before Jason could speak further, the servant reentered the room followed by a young couple. The man gently led the woman into the room, his solicitous attitude speaking of great love. The woman, however, was entirely different. Andronicus had seen more life in a corpse.

  “You sent for us?” the man, Andronicus assumed him to be Timothy, asked, never taking his eyes off the woman.

  Hazaq cried and the woman, Bernice, quickly looked up. Her eyes lit on Hazaq’s squirming form and tears pooled in them. She looked longingly at Tapat, her lifeless eyes now sparking with interest. “Is he yours?”

  Andronicus noticed Tapat’s hesitation and realized that to answer affirmatively would be for her to lie, something he couldn’t imagine her doing. She looked to him for help.

  His scrutiny encompassed the occupants of the room, ending with Hazaq. He knew with sudden conviction what these men were suggesting. Truly it would be an answer to the problem. With Bernice having lost her child such a short time ago and Hazaq struggling to feed through a reed straw, the solution was obvious.

  He looked at Tapat and saw when she realized exactly what was happening. Her eyes opened wide and she slowly began to shake her head from side to side. “No,” she breathed softly.

  Jason half rose, intending to speak. Andronicus silenced him with a quick motion of the hand, and he settled back into his seat. Their gazes collided.

  Andronicus stood, glancing down at Tapat. “If you would all leave the room, I would like to speak with Tapat alone.”

  He knew that he had some gall making such demands in a house that wasn’t his own, but right now he didn’t care. His only concern was for Tapat and Hazaq.

  “I think that’s a good idea,” Jason agreed, rising from his seat. The others followed suit; Timothy led Bernice out the door last, as she continued to look yearningly at Hazaq.

  Andronicus stared at Tapat hovering protectively over Hazaq. He knew what he had to do for both her sake and the child’s.

  “Tapat?”

  She angrily shook her head. “Don’t even suggest it!” she practically snarled, pulling Hazaq closer.

  He seated himself beside her again and took her hand. She tried to pull it away, but he wouldn’t allow it. He could feel her shaking and, without thinking about the consequences, pulled her and Hazaq across his lap, holding them as one would when comforting a child.

  She sobbed softly into his shoulder and Hazaq began to fuss, sensing her distress. “I can’t. Please don’t ask it of me.”

  “Carrisima, we have to think
of Hazaq. He can’t continue the way he is or he will die. You know that. He’s not getting enough to eat.”

  She sobbed harder, and he thought his heart would break for her.

  “Can’t you see that this is all a part of your God’s plan? Aren’t you the one who has always told me that all things work together for the good of those who love your Lord?”

  She stared up at him in astonishment, the sobbing lessening but the tears still running in an unending stream.

  “Yes, bella,” he told her softly, “I have been listening to you.”

  She searched his eyes for several seconds before her face crumpled once more. She buried her face in his chest again.

  “I can’t, Andronicus! I just can’t!”

  He held her tighter, placing his cheek against the top of her head. His own throat clogged with suppressed tears. He had grown to love the little boy, as well. How was it that he hadn’t considered what parting with the child and Tapat was truly going to mean? It was suddenly tearing him apart to even think about it. But he had to consider what was best for everyone, and so did she. A boy needed a father, and a single mother would have a hard time supporting herself and a child. And Bernice could give the child what he needed most now: nourishment to grow and thrive.

  “Yes, you can, mea amo,” he whispered harshly.

  Tapat dropped her head back, the pleading in her eyes not reaching her lips. He cupped her chin with his hand. “Yes, you can,” he repeated much softer. “You had the strength to keep him. Now you need to have the strength to let him go.”

  Hazaq’s crying grew louder. Tapat slid from Andronicus’s lap and stood. Her face had gone from strong and sure of purpose to hopeless and haggard with grief. She stared forlornly down at the child before raining kisses across his face and, in an action that took Andronicus by surprise, handed Hazaq to him.

  “I can’t do it!” she cried and ran from the room, leaving Hazaq with him. He realized just what she was saying by her action. It was up to him to be strong for both of them. He swallowed hard against the lump forming in his throat.

  Jason and the others returned to the room, their questioning looks going from Andronicus to Tapat as she fled down the hallway.

  Andronicus got up and went to Bernice. Her eyes were focused hungrily on Hazaq, and there was more life in them than when she had first entered the room. He had to believe that this was for the best.

  Jason met his look with understanding. The older man nodded slightly, giving him the courage to do what must be done.

  He kissed Hazaq, and without saying anything, he handed the child to Bernice, leaving it to Jason to explain further. He quickly followed Tapat’s fleeing figure.

  Chapter 15

  Andronicus found Tapat sitting next to her favorite place—the waterfall that tumbled over the mountain to the Jordan River flowing in the distance. She was staring out over the lush green hills, the mist from the waterfall creating a beautiful rainbow in the chasm below.

  He had followed her here the night they had arrived and she had fled from Jason’s house after relinquishing possession of Hazaq. He knew at the time that she was blinded by her tears and wouldn’t pay attention to where she was going; she just needed to escape.

  Following a safe distance behind her, he had imprinted landmarks in his memory while instinctively knowing that she needed the space as she struggled with her fragmented emotions.

  The rushing water had at last impeded her progress and she had stopped and fallen to the ground, her sobs tearing him apart inside. Although she had tried to push him away, he had lifted her from the ground and wrapped his arms about her, snugging her head beneath his chin.

  He had held her for several long hours, until her copious weeping had been reduced to intermittent sniffles, and then he continued to hold her beyond what was probably advisable. That night, he had been the friend she needed. Now the sound of the rushing water couldn’t even begin to compare to the blood roaring through him as he saw her sitting there. Friendship was the farthest thing from his mind.

  It was time to return to Jerusalem, but he couldn’t bring himself to do so until he was certain that Tapat was well.

  At his approach, she turned, looked up at him and gave him a tired smile. Despite the dark circles under her eyes, he marveled at her serene features and realized that he had interrupted her communing with her God. It always unnerved him when he saw her like this. At these times, he felt a great gulf between them and, though he longed to span it, he didn’t know how.

  But then, that wasn’t exactly true. All he had to do was give himself up to this God of hers. At times he longed to do so; at others he felt a fear greater than any he had ever known. He had learned long ago that when surrendering to anyone, you then became a slave. It was that thought more than anything that kept him from taking such a drastic step.

  He seated himself next to her and studied her face. She looked weary, and he wondered if sleep had eluded her as it had him. At his continued perusal, her cheeks bloomed rosily, giving at least some semblance of color to her wan face.

  It had been a week since Tapat had handed over Hazaq. She had come to terms with the fact that she had done what was best for the babe long before he had. He had questioned himself over and over about whether he had done right by talking Tapat into giving the child up, but in just a week, Hazaq had put on weight and his coloring was much improved.

  He picked up a stick lying on the ground close by and threw it into the water, watching as it bobbed and swirled and then tumbled to the gorge below.

  “You have not been to see Hazaq,” he stated.

  She watched the stick moving in the water below them. Shaking her head she told him, “No. I thought it best to allow him to bond with his new mother without my interference.”

  He didn’t know why he was surprised. If she had the courage to give the child up in the first place, then surely she was strong enough to do whatever was best to see him happy. It took a great depth of love to be able to do such a thing. An unselfish love. Something he had learned long ago that she had in abundance.

  He narrowed his eyes and wrinkled his nose as he stared up at the hot Palestinian sun. They were shaded by the green overgrowth, the grass on the hillside cooling the temperatures around them. In a way, this place reminded him of Rome, except without the stench of the polluted Tiber River. He could see why the Christians had decided to settle here. It was a beautiful area.

  “I haven’t seen you for a few days.”

  He recognized the statement for the question it was. Had she missed him?

  “The magistrate asked for our help. They have been having problems with the zealots invading the Decapolis and wreaking havoc on the outlying settlements. I’m assuming they are allied with the same ones that attacked us.”

  She didn’t ask further, and he was glad. He didn’t want to have to tell her about their excursions, nor the lives they had taken.

  He glanced at her. “I understand you have purchased a house.”

  She turned to him in surprise.

  “Jason told me when I came to see you. Because you weren’t at the house he indicated, he thought you might be here.”

  She looked around at the hills and rushing water, her face alight with her feelings. The spark that had died when she had given up Hazaq seemed to have been reignited.

  “I feel closer to the Lord here than anywhere.” She sighed softly.

  He followed her look, nodding. “I remember you once telling me that God spoke to us through the beauty of His creation. At times like this, I can almost believe it.”

  The expectant look on her face brought him up short. He didn’t want to give her a false hope that he believed in this God of hers. It wasn’t her God that he had come to talk about, nor the beauty of the hills and trees. What he needed to say his lips were reluctant to utte
r.

  “I have to return to Jerusalem,” he finally said.

  She turned to him, unable to conceal the emotions shining out from her dark eyes. He had thought for a time that she had become enamored of Crassus, but that look told him otherwise. He had experience enough with women to recognize love when he saw it. His heart began thundering in response and he forgot what he had been about to say.

  He struggled with whether to accept the unintentional invitation in her eyes. It would be so easy to take advantage of her innocence, but the complete trust on her face made his baser instincts die a quick death.

  “Must you?”

  He noted the rapid rise and fall of her chest, which spoke of her own checked emotions. He looked away, fighting the urge to take her in his arms and show her just how much he loved her. But what good would it do? More than likely he was going to die in the coming battle and she would marry one of her Christians and live a long and happy life with a passel of children running around.

  That bitter thought made him turn back to her. All of his good intentions floated away like the stick he had thrown into the river. He couldn’t die without knowing what it would be like to just once be held in her arms, not as a consoling friend but as a man, to kiss those rosy lips until they both forgot that they were mortal enemies.

  He moved closer, cupping her cheeks with his palms. Her startled eyes met his. She placed her palms against his chest, but she didn’t move away. Needing no further encouragement, he brought his lips down on hers.

  Her inexperienced response forced him to rein in the passion that had been longing to escape for some time. Drawing on willpower he didn’t know he possessed, he gentled his kisses.

  * * *

  Tapat had given in to the desire to be treated like a woman who loved and was loved in return. She had seen in Andronicus’s eyes a desire that matched her own and, against her better judgment, had allowed his kiss.