Only Tyler

by Jess Dee

  Tyler’s orgasm triggered fresh waves of sensation, and they came together, lost in the rapture they’d found in each other’s bodies again.

  When it was over, he collapsed in Katie’s arms, and she collapsed back against the bed. The two of them lay there, spent, until they finally drifted off into a deep, satisfied sleep.

  FOURTEEN

  The guilt woke her. It tapped mercilessly at her head, making sleep impossible. As she lay in Tyler’s arms, spooned against his chest and his legs, with his warm breath on her neck, all she could think about was the fact that she was an adulterous bitch.

  She’d betrayed her fiancé.

  She’d slept with another man.

  Remorse clawed at her stomach, which clenched in its attempt to absorb the blame. She’d cheated on Steve.

  Katie’d had some low moments in the past. She’d done things she’d regretted, but never had she committed a crime of this magnitude before. How could she live with herself? How could she face Steve, knowing what she’d done? She was lower than life. She was a rat. Nope.

  That was too good for her. She was a flea on a rat. A filthy flea on a disease-riddled rat.

  And she still lay in her lover’s arms.

  Quietly, so as not to wake him, Katie removed Tyler’s hand from her waist and slipped from the bed. He muttered incoherently, rolled over and continued sleeping.

  She tiptoed into the bathroom and turned on the shower. Even the pulsing jets could not wash away her guilt. Though the soap and hot water removed the last sticky traces of their lovemaking, it could not clean her sullied actions.

  She’d cheated on Steve.

  For a long time she stood under the streams of water, hardly conscious of the stinging as the hot liquid washed over the scratches on her back. The scratches she’d inflicted on herself as she’d ground her shoulders against the rock while she and Tyler made love again for the first time. On some level she wished the pain was worse. At least that way she’d be punished for her deeds.

  Her body refused to cooperate with her head. While guilt and self-recrimination ate away at her mind, her breasts still tingled in the aftermath of their pleasure. Her legs felt pleasantly stiff, and her groin still hummed in tune to Tyler’s passion. Just thinking about him made her body tighten. The drumming of the water against her skin felt like the soft caress of a lover’s hand.

  Tyler loved her. He’d never stopped. He’d left because he thought he might have an incurable, insufferable disease.

  Thank God he didn’t.

  Now what was Katie supposed to do? She was torn between two lovers. Torn between the man she fantasized about and the man she intended to marry.

  She loved Tyler with her heart and her soul and her body.

  She also loved Steve, the man she’d committed herself to for the rest of her life. Not in the same way she loved Tyler, but she loved him nevertheless.

  It was up to her to decide where to go from here. She could break off her engagement and be with Tyler at the expense of the man who’d offered her nothing but love and support and friendship for over seven years. Or, she could follow through on her threats yesterday and insist Tyler leave at the expense of losing the only man who made her feel alive.

  One thing was for sure. She couldn’t go another day cheating on Steve.

  She had to make a choice, and she had to make it soon. What the hell was she supposed to do? No matter what actions she took now, someone was going to get hurt and she was going to be the one doing the hurting.

  A noose around her neck couldn’t have been more frightening than that knowledge.

  She turned off the water, dried quickly, cleaned her teeth and with a towel wrapped around her breasts, padded out of the bathroom.

  Tyler shifted as she walked into the bedroom. “Why didn’t you wake me?” He looked at her, all sleepy, and smiled. “You know what showering with you does to me.”

  Just like that her body dissolved. Regardless of the remorse that drilled away at her, she was aroused again. Her heart rate increased, racing in her chest.

  “Tyler, we need to talk.” She tried her best to sound severe, but her voice was breathless, and it ruined the stern effect.

  He kicked the doona off the bed, exposing her to all his naked glory and what a glory it was. His erection stood proud and thick and she couldn’t stop herself from staring or licking her lips as molten heat pooled between her legs.

  “C’mon over here,” he invited, his voice low and sexy. “We can talk in a few minutes.”

  “No.” She shook her head, although the effort nearly killed her.

  “We have to talk now.” She pulled the chair away from her dressing table and sat, crossing her legs primly in the process. The wicked smile on his face and the lascivious glint in his eyes as his gaze followed her movements told her the towel covered far less than she’d assumed.

  “Stop looking at me like that,” she said, flustered. Hurriedly, she uncrossed her legs and sat with her knees pressed firmly together. “I mean it. We need to talk.”

  He sat up slowly and stretched his lithe body. She stared spellbound as the supple muscles rippled under his skin. Each one was clearly delineated as his arms reached above his head and his chest was pushed outward. Her mouth watered and she bit back a whimper.

  “So let’s talk about last night,” he said. “It was good, Katie, wasn’t it?”

  He flipped his legs over the edge of the bed and stood, his hard body wickedly tempting.

  She fixed her gaze on his face, determined not to look down as he walked towards her. He dropped to his knees in front of her.

  “It was more than just good, Katie,” he said. “It was damned near perfect.”

  As he spoke he reached for the towel, right where she’d tucked it neatly against her breasts, and began to unravel it.

  Katie gasped and clamped her arm against her chest, holding the towel and his hand in place. If he touched her bare skin she’d be history. No way she could hold a reasonable conversation while he held her. “It doesn’t matter how good it was,” she spluttered. “It was wrong.

  We shouldn’t have slept together.”

  “Sweetheart, the only thing wrong with last night was the two years before it when we weren’t making love.” His voice was so damned sexy in that just-woken-up state she could have curled up in it forever.

  As he spoke, his free hand trailed up her calf, edging its way around and up to her inner thigh.

  He left a trail of fire in his wake. Try as she might, she couldn’t find the energy to shake him off. She couldn’t even find the energy to hold her legs together. They parted slowly beneath his arousing touch.

  “It felt so right making love to you again.” Ty sighed. “So familiar.

  Only better, more exciting. Because this time you know the truth. This time we can have a future.”

  “What kind of future can we have?” She almost choked on her question. “My future is with Steve.”

  His hand stilled. Her words rang through the silence between them.

  “Not anymore,” Tyler said at length. He stared into her eyes, and she watched fascinated as the gold flecks danced among the chocolaty depths of his irises. “It’s time to face the facts. Steve is wrong for you. You and I belong together. We’ve both known it for a very long time. We love each other. Together we’re better than we are apart. I’m a better person with you. I’m more whole.”

  She was too. Even with the weight of her guilt pressing on her shoulders, she felt more alive, more invigorated this morning than she had in two years.

  Surely that told her something?

  She shook her head. “You make it sound so straightforward, but it’s not just the two of us anymore. Steve is as much a part of of this twisted mess as we are.”

  “What we share has nothing to do with Steve.” Tyler’s jawline tensed as he spoke, belying his words.

  “You fucked his fiancé. Of course it has something to do with him.”

  A muscle
worked in his cheek. His eyes clouded over. The guilt weighed just as heavily on him as it did on her.

  “I swear to you, my sweet, I never meant for anything to happen while you and Steve were engaged. I… I wanted to wait until after Fuck, Katie. I couldn’t hold back. When you kissed me on the cliffs, I couldn’t stop. His voice broke. I couldn’t.” He shook his head. “I’d waited so long to have you again I just Jesus, Katie, you’re all I’ve ever wanted.”

  He moved his hand, dragging it up her leg. War raged in his eyes, self-hatred battling desire. She could identify she loathed herself for what she’d done.

  It did not stop the warm flesh of Tyler’s palm singeing the skin on her thigh.

  “You’re all I’ve ever wanted…” His hand reached the apex of her thighs and he stopped and groaned.

  She knew he’d found her ready. Hot liquid coated his fingers. God, how was it possible she could feel such guilt about Steve and still want Tyler so badly she thought she might explode? How could it be?

  “Tyler,” she said on a moan as he grazed her swollen nub. “We shouldn’t do this. Last night maybe. This morning no.”

  “I know. We should stop.” His gaze was focused on his hand as he flipped the towel aside.

  “We need to think about Steve.” She couldn’t help it. She followed his gaze as she inched herself lower in the chair.

  “We will, my sweet, I promise.”

  The sight of him touching her, of her moisture glistening on his fingers She choked on a moan, and a fresh rush of heat filled her core.

  “Jesus, Katie.” He dropped his head between her legs, clamped his mouth over her exposed clit and kissed her.

  Instinctively she sank even lower in the seat, spread her legs wider and hooked a foot over his shoulder. He took the opportunity to kiss her more deeply. The growth of his overnight beard scraped against the tender skin of her inner thigh while his tongue lapped at her lips, making love to her.

  He licked her, from her hot, wet center, up over her lips and around her clit, then back down again. All the while Steve stood like a tower in her mind, watching every movement. Tyler kissed her until she was a gasping wreck on the chair. Steve grimaced with distaste, and she hated herself a little more. It didn’t stop her breath from coming in uneven bursts or her chest from burning with lack of air. Steve glowered at her as Tyler seduced her with his mouth. The torment and the guilt were excruciating. She couldn’t contain them, couldn’t contain her response. Even as her orgasm overwhelmed her, she began to weep.

  She climaxed with an intensity that left her winded, choking her violent sobs.

  Tyler lifted her from the chair and stroked her hair protectively, but she pushed against him, hard. It was his fault. If he’d never left, she’d never be in this predicament. If he’d never returned, she wouldn’t be the cheating bitch he’d turned her into. The force of their combined weight sent him spiraling onto the bed and she went with him.

  Goddamn, she hated him for what he’d made her do but not quite as much as she hated herself.

  No sooner had she hit the bed, than she straightened, turned and laid into Tyler. Acid tears burned her cheeks as she punched his arm and his chest repeatedly, all her anger and self-loathing coming out in the blows. “Fuck you, Tyler. We should not be doing this.”

  He tensed, accepting the attack. Perhaps he viewed it as penance.

  “I hate you!” she screamed as she punched him. “I hate myself.”

  He flinched as she landed a blow to his stomach. “I hate what we’ve done to Steve,” he wheezed, “but doing this is right. We belong together.” He watched as the fight drained out of her, then turned as her attack lost strength. He gathered her in his arms, trapping her fists between them. “Walk away, Katie, if makes you feel better. Get off this bed and leave the room.” He paused, drawing in a shaky breath.

  “It won’t improve the situation,” he warned, “and I promise you it won’t make you want me less.”

  Want him less? Christ, burning in the flames of hell wouldn’t make her want him less. She tore free of his embrace. Tears streamed from her eyes. Remorse suffocated her. Still she straddled him. Positioned herself above his dick and had the presence of mind to grab a condom.

  Tyler’s chest heaved as he watched her. His eyes were steady, sad and black with desire. “I love you. You and I were meant to be together. Understand that will never change.”

  “I’m marrying your best friend.” His cock touched her still throbbing folds and shudders of desire, guilt and shame racked her body.

  “I love you, Katie.” In one swift move he surged up, filling her. “And you love me.”

  The remorse and the tension and the need were all too much.

  Orgasm was the only means of release. She came immediately, convulsing around his pounding cock. Shockwaves rolled through her.

  She was a worm. An unprincipled, moral-less worm.

  It took less than a minute and Tyler joined her, crying out her name as he climaxed inside her.

  For a long time they lay silent. Only the sound of her guilty weeping filled the air. Then Tyler withdrew and held Katie close.

  “I need to tell Steve,” she whispered, looking at his face. The anger was gone. All that was left was the relentless guilt. “I won’t cheat on him again. I can’t. It would destroy him.”

  He nodded. Her shame shadowed his eyes. “I know, Katie. We both need to speak to Steve.”

  “Not together.” When she told Steve the truth she’d do it alone and face the consequences alone, however terrible.

  “No,” he agreed. “I’m meeting him this morning. I’ll speak to him then.”

  Katie jerked away from him. “You can’t!” She drew in a ragged breath. “It has to be me.”

  Tyler shook his head. “I came home for this. I knew when I stepped on the plane all my actions might lead to this confrontation. I’m challenging my best friend for you, and he needs to understand why.

  This is my battle, my responsibility, and I will deal with it.” His voice brooked no argument.

  “I cheated on my fiancé. I betrayed him. How do you think he’s going to respond if you tell him? It has to come from me.”

  Tyler laughed cynically. “You think that’ll hurt him less?”

  Nausea rose fast in her throat. “I don’t think anything could hurt him less than his future wife sleeping with his closest mate.” She closed her eyes and despised herself. Even the tears had stopped. She was too guilty to cry.

  When she opened her eyes again, Tyler’s face was white. “I am going to speak to him, Katie, and I’m going to tell him the truth. He needs to know why I came home.”

  After a couple minutes of silence she nodded. Her stomach became more queasy by the second. “Do what you have to do, Tyler, but don’t tell him about about…” She looked down at her naked body. “About this.

  that’s my cross to bear.”

  Tyler frowned. “Everything else is fair game. At the very least Steve deserves to know why you’re leaving him, and he needs to hear it from me.”

  “What?” Her shocked question rang through the room.

  “I said he needs to hear it from me.”

  “Tyler I’m not leaving Steve. Well, not yet anyway.” Not until she’d determined whether she wanted to leave him. Yes, she loved Tyler. She couldn’t keep her damn hands off him, but she loved Steve too he’d helped make her dreams come true.

  She and Tyler had screwed him over when they kept their history from him and he wasn’t happy. How would he respond to their infidelity?

  How the fuck did she think he’d respond? She was naive and stupid to assume he’d still want to marry her. He’d kick her out so fast her head would spin.

  The second Steve found out about Tyler, their relationship would come to a grinding halt.

  For the briefest time, Katie considered not telling him. If she swept the truth under the carpet, Steve would never get hurt. He never needed to know that she’d betrayed him. They could
go ahead and get married and live the future they’d planned for the last two months.

  The idea flashed by so quickly it astounded Katie that she’d been able to think so much in such a short time.

  It was unquestionable. Of course she’d tell him.

  “You’re not leaving him?” Tyler’s face was filled with disbelief and anger. “You slept with me and told me you love me, but you’re not leaving him?”

  “Tyler, look at my life. It’s different from what it once was. Steve is my future. He has been since I agreed to marry him.” Although she rather thought she’d just fucked that up irreparably.

  He pursed his lips, fighting to keep his rage in check. “I’m home, Katie. You don’t have to marry him. You have a choice.”

  Did he think she was marrying Steve because she couldn’t have Tyler? “I always had a choice. Just because you weren’t part of my choice when I accepted his proposal doesn’t mean there was no other option. I could have said no.”

  “Christ, Katie. What are you doing?” Tyler dragged a hand over his mouth. “I’m back. I’m not going to get sick. We can get married and have a future.”

  “And just ignore my present? And the two years between now and when you left?” She was desperate, unresolved. She had to choose between two men, and she didn’t have a clue how to decide.

  Her heart and body had no doubt. They chose Tyler, hands down.

  Her head and her conscience chose Steve. How could she desert him?

  The desperation made her edgy. She stood and paced the length of the room.

  “You can’t just barge back into my life and expect me to fall at your feet. To wipe out the last years and carry on with you as though there was never a hitch. You can’t expect me to do that to Steve, can you?

  Can you?” Her voice rose, and she forced herself to take a deep, calming breath.