All The Things We Were (River Valley Lost & Found Book 3)

by Kayla Tirrell

  I didn’t know how Sarah could treat this relationship with Michelle the way she did. She acted like it wouldn’t be a big deal to stop going to college to date her. Wasn’t that how every sappy, back-hills romance started? Only in reverse.

  What would our future look like if we went down that path? If I went to Michelle and asked her for another chance and she somehow said yes. Would we date? Get married? Have kids? Michelle had expensive taste. I certainly wouldn’t be able to support her lifestyle. In just a couple of days, I’d be unemployed. I still hadn’t found a new job with school so close. She deserved better than that. I deserved better than that.

  My phone buzzed pulling me from my thoughts. Looking at my screen, I could see I’d gotten a few texts from Matt, even one from Jenny. I hadn’t felt my phone buzz and hadn’t seen them until this latest came through.

  Matt: Where are you?

  Matt: Tell me you didn’t leave.

  Matt: You left??? I don’t see your car.

  Jenny: Matt just said you left. You’re never going to guess what happened!

  Matt: The guy picked up Chasing Sunsets. Norm asked us to headline next week!

  Matt: Rainier. This could be HUGE. We need to talk.

  Matt: If you don’t come to the door in the next five minutes, I’m ringing the doorbell and waking your parents.

  Me: I’m coming right now.

  “Are you freaking kidding me?” Matt said as soon as I opened the door. I shushed him before walking out into the night air. I sat down on my front porch step, and he did the same.

  The night was still. The evenings were beginning to cool down as we got closer to fall. The sky was clear making the stars shine brightly in the darkness. It was the perfect scene for contemplating difficult decisions.

  “Rainier, that guy from the label is taking Aaron and the guys to L.A. this weekend. I'm pretty sure they're going to record an album.”

  “That’s great.”

  “Which means we're playing again next week. Only this time we will be the opener.”

  “I saw your text.” I deadpanned.

  “Then why aren’t you more excited? Come on, man. This could be our break. Just look what happened to Chasing Sunsets. They were the headliner at The Imperial and are getting their shot at the big time. That could happen to us.”

  “I'm leaving in a couple of weeks.”

  “Don’t.”

  “Matt, I–”

  “Rainier,” he interrupted. "I’m not asking for you to give up your college dreams. I’m not even asking you to stop going to school. Maybe you can do online classes this semester. Stay in River Valley. Just give me one semester. Please.”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Then don’t decide tonight. Give Rainier and the Go-Aways one more week. Let’s just see what happens after our next show.”

  I sat there next to my best friend in silence for several minutes. He knew better than to say anything else, and I needed the quiet to work through what he was asking me. Today it was one week. Next Thursday, it would be back to one semester. If we didn’t get the same break as our predecessors, would he ask for just one year? I couldn’t live my life with that much uncertainty. I opened my mouth to tell him no, but yes came out instead.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Michelle

  My phone was on my dresser playing the same song over and over again while I looked at the two outfits I’d laid across my bed. Well, one and a half outfits, if you wanted to get technical. There was the leather skirt I picked up at the mall the day before. It was the same one I had asked Avery to buy when we went shopping. Then there was my favorite pair of skinny jeans next to it. I couldn’t decide which looked better with the shirt I was wearing.

  “Tell me you’re not watching that again,” Avery said, barging into my room, catching me off guard. I hadn't heard the alarm system beep, but that wasn't surprising considering the volume on my phone was as high as it would go.

  I quickly grabbed my phone and turned the screen off before turning to face her. “You’re early.”

  “Barely.”

  I looked at the time. “No, you’re an entire hour early.”

  She sat down on my bed looking completely unapologetic. So comfortable, in fact, that she was leaning on the clothing I had thrown on top of it. “If I knew you were going to sit and watch that video of Rainier like a crazy stalker, I never would have shown it to you.”

  I lifted my brow. “You don’t think I would have seen it without your help? It’s literally everywhere I look.”

  “It’s been a week since that show, and most people have moved on.”

  “Well, I haven’t.”

  “Obviously.”

  “Aves, that song is about me. He brought me flowers the day we stopped things between us. Of course, I haven’t moved on.”

  The two of us started at each other for a few moments before Avery changed the subject.

  “Are you sure about tonight?”

  I took a deep breath. No, I wasn’t sure, but it was too late to back out. I nodded. “I just need to decide on what to wear. If you get your big butt off my bed, you can help me decide.”

  Avery hopped up and looked down at the bed. “Wait, isn’t that–”

  “Yes,” I interrupted. “It looks better on me anyway.”

  She smiled. "Then do the skirt. You can wear jeans any day."

  I put my jeans away while Avery sat back down on my bed. “Wait, is that what I think it is,” she asked, looking at the case in the corner of my room.

  I nodded again, my smile forced.

  “Then we need to start getting you ready. I’ll start on your hair, and then let you get to work on your makeup."

  Within no time we were dressed up and ready to go.

  Before I realized it, Avery and I were pulling up to The Imperial.

  Chasing Sunsets was off in California doing who knew what with their new label. That meant Rainier and the Go-Aways were headlining that evening. I thought fewer people might show up considering their golden boys weren’t in town, but the college night crowd was as big as it was the last time I’d watched Rainier play.

  Maybe bigger?

  It was unexpected, but it didn’t matter. I’d spent a week preparing for this evening, and I couldn't back out even if I wanted to. My dad had gone out on a limb asking Norm to do this favor for me, and I didn't want to disappoint him. Especially not after all he'd been through this summer.

  I quickly looked around the place for familiar faces. I saw Jenny and Matt sitting close on one end of the bar. Jenny was laughing at something Matt said, and her hand found his knee. She didn't pull it back, and he didn’t flinch away from the touch. That was new. Or, at least, it was to me.

  They looked happy together.

  Avery had walked over to Carter as soon as we got inside. She was easy to spot near the stage with her boyfriend. While Avery looked as glowing as ever, her other half looked about as nervous as I felt. I didn't think I'd ever seen him as anything but carefree, which made me even more anxious.

  It was then I realized I hadn’t seen Rainier yet. The thought that he left River Valley already had my heart beating more quickly. It would certainly explain why Carter looked like he was going to puke.

  No, Rainier needed to be here tonight.

  Just one more show. Besides, wouldn’t the rest of the band look upset if something like that happened?

  I couldn't worry about that right now. I had other things that were much more pressing.

  I went off in search of Norm.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Rainier

  I was hiding out from everyone before the show.

  The back of The Imperial wasn’t fancy like the rest of the club. Away from its patrons, this space was dominated by a giant dumpster and two plastic patio chairs reserved for employees who were on break. One chair sat empty, while a pretty, blonde sat in the other. I recognized her as a bartender. She kept taking drags off her lit cigarette
and giving me shy looks.

  I refused to sit but leaned up against the brick wall of the building. I went through our set list in my mind. We’d start with a cover, and then sneak in an original. Then we’d play a few more well-known songs before going into a stretch of originals again. Matt had even convinced me to play my song again.

  Tap, tap, tap.

  I didn’t see the point in arguing considering everyone in River Valley had seen the video of me singing it last week. Hell, half of Boise had probably seen it by now. So since Chasing Sunsets wasn’t playing tonight, I had to assume the massive crowd inside was here to see us live.

  It should have been exciting to know we were gaining traction, getting popular, but I couldn’t get Michelle’s face out of my mind. The last time I’d seen her was the day she walked out of the bookstore. We hadn’t worked any more shifts together after that, and soon after, the place had shut down permanently.

  The girl out back with me kept trying to strike up a conversation much to my frustration. I'd found out her name was Mila, that she went to BSU, and her major was liberal arts. She had a lot of questions, but I kept all my answers short. There was no way she was so dense to realize I wasn't interested.

  I looked down at my phone to see how much longer before we went on. I even debated watching the opening act.

  Mila was opening her mouth to say something else when the back door flung open. It startled me as it hit against the outside wall. Matt was standing in the doorway, breathing heavily. “Michelle! Stage. Now.”

  “What?”

  He grabbed my arm and pulled, but I dug in my heels. “Dude,” Matt said, urgency lacing his every word. “Michelle just walked up on stage. You need to come right now.”

  “Michelle?”

  “That's what I said. Let's go.” Matt yanked my arm again, and this time I followed.

  As soon as we got to the central area of the bar, I saw why he was so worked up. Michelle, my Michelle, was on stage. She had a gorgeous Taylor guitar slung across her chest and was standing in front of the microphone. A single spotlight shone down on her figure as she spoke into the mic.

  “I know we’re all very excited to see Rainier and the Go-Aways.” The crowd cheered in response, and I wanted to shush them all. I didn’t want to miss a single word that came from her mouth. “I’m a pretty big fan myself. Especially of that hauntingly beautiful one they played last week." More cheers. "In fact, I was so touched by it, I decided I wanted to give it a go tonight.”

  Some people continued to cheer for her, but it seemed like most people in the crowd were confused. I was confused. Michelle could barely play the three notes I taught her. How did she expect to play my song?

  Michelle took a deep breath and hit the first note on the guitar. And the next. And then the next. It wasn’t perfect, and she played the chords rather than the individual notes. Even so, it was clear she’d learned our song.

  A rush of jealousy hit me when I pictured another guy teaching her how to play. She wasn't supposed to be with another guy. We were meant to be together.

  I knew that now.

  The guy standing next to me pulled out his phone and started recording her. I wanted to slap the stupid thing from his hand but focused on Michelle instead.

  Her voice was beautiful and made up for any inexperience on the guitar.

  When she finished singing, the crowd began cheering. Those cheers became a collective gasp when she pulled the guitar over her head and, in a move more epic than any mic drop, lifted the guitar and dropped it. She raised her brows at the audience, the picture of cool indifference, before walking off the stage.

  Everyone started moving then. Some people were standing on their toes trying to see where she went. Others were rushing the stage to check on her guitar. The people next to me did neither. They stood rooted to the same spot. I tried to push past the guy who had been recording Michelle’s performance, but he refused to budge.

  I started to move as soon as I found a small break in the crowd, but a hand on my shoulder stopped me. I turned around hoping it would be Michelle, only to be disappointed when I turned to see Matt.

  “What was that?” he yelled over the noise in the room.

  “I have no idea, but I have to find her.”

  “No way, man. I know it’s still early, but after that stunt, we need to go on now.”

  “Matt.” I tugged away. “I can’t.”

  “Rainier, playing on that stage is the whole reason we’re here. If you can’t commit to the band, you can’t commit to the girl. Don’t do this now. Please.”

  Tap, tap, tap.

  I looked around the club one last time to try to find Michelle before following Matt to the stage.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Michelle

  “He didn’t follow me,” I said to Avery, who had snuck out behind The Imperial with me. “I thought he’d fight for me after that.”

  “Did you see the commotion you caused? Maybe he couldn’t.”

  “If he wanted to find me, he would have. It's not like I went very far.” I lifted my hands at our surroundings.

  "I'm sure there's a good reason."

  I sighed at her words. “I just expected things to go differently. You know, Rainier would storm the crowd, lift me in his arms and kiss me senseless or something.”

  “You’ve been reading too much romance if you thought that was going to happen.”

  “You know I don’t read that crap.”

  Avery snorted. “Don't forget I’ve been in your room. I saw the stack of books on your dresser. They might not be bodice rippers, but those books are romance." I opened my mouth to argue, but she kept going. "I think you’re waiting for your prince charming to come and sweep you off your feet, just like the rest of us.”

  “Too bad prince charming is moving back to Coeur d’Alene soon.”

  “Maybe he’ll change his mind.”

  I shrugged but remained silent.

  It would be awesome if Avery were right. I wanted Rainier to want me. To choose me. But this wasn't a fairy tale. There would be no grand gesture or happily ever after. It was silly to even hope for it.

  The sound of music came from inside. Avery started bouncing and looked toward the door before turning her puppy-dog eyes on me.

  “Think you'd want to come inside and listen to the guys with me?”

  I shook my head. “I’m going to stay out here and enjoy the fresh air."

  “Just don't disappear on me. I'm listening to Carter, but I'm not ditching you."

  “I'll do my best."

  As soon as Avery walked inside, I sat down in one of the cheap plastic chairs. There was an ashtray on the ground that was overflowing with butts. It meant the people who worked here either chain-smoked like nobody’s business or were way too lazy for their own good, considering the dumpster was less than five feet away from their smoking section.

  I considered emptying it myself when the door opened again. A bartender took that opportunity to walk out and light up a cigarette proving it would be futile to do any housekeeping in the break area.

  “Shouldn’t you be inside?” I asked, taking my frustrations out on the blonde girl who looked to be about my age.

  “Shouldn’t you?” she snapped back.

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “Nothing. Just between your performance in there and your shirt, I assumed you were some hardcore groupie trying to get their attention."

  I looked down at my top and back at her, but didn't say anything.

  "That was the point of all that, right?"

  “No, the point was to… you know what? I don’t have to tell you why I did that. It’s none of your business.”

  The girl laughed, and I wanted to claw her eyes out. Is this what it felt like to be on the other end of such biting remarks? I was far from crying, but I didn't like her commenting on my life. She didn't know a thing about me. She had no right.

  “I’m Mila, by the way.”

>   “I don’t care.”

  “You're feisty. Any chance you're the infamous Michelle.”

  "What did you say?"

  "I heard one of the guys from the band mention that name. The cute one with the glasses. I just wondered if you might be the girl he was talking about out here." She threw her still burning cigarette on the massive pile and went inside after giving me a smirk I couldn't decipher.

  I was convinced she'd been drinking tonight. One shot for the customer, one shot for the bartender. Regardless, I couldn't get what she said out of my mind. What if Rainier really was talking about me? I needed to know what he said and what it meant.

  I raced inside shortly after Mila had left me alone outside with her words.

  When I opened the back door to see what was going on, I was met with the loud sound of applause and whistling.

  As I got further inside, I could see Avery and Carter on stage together. They were kissing, Avery's left hand firmly planted on Carter’s cheek. The spotlight causing something on it to shine. An engagement ring.

  Carter had freaking proposed to my best friend, and I had missed it.

  I blamed Rainier for this. If I weren't feeling so upside down from things between the two of us, I would have been inside instead of sulking out back.

  Rainier was laughing from beside the happy couple. His eyes scanned the crowd. They stopped and lingered for a long time on the bar, and I knew why. He was looking for me. For some reason, the idea of him finding me was terrifying.

  I ran back outside before he found me.

  Chapter Thirty

  Rainier

  Oh, no. She was not running from me this time.

  I’d barely spotted Michelle in the crowd before she turned to run. Thankfully, I knew exactly where she was going because it was the same place I’d been hiding out earlier that evening.

  It was time for the two of us to talk.

  Something was going on between the two of us. We’d both fought against it in our own ways. No longer. I was going to put everything out there, and Michelle was going to listen. And when I was done, we were going to make some serious decisions.