Callie's Secret

by T. Jones

  "Holy shit Dorothy, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore." Jenny giggled.

  "You are going to have so much fun here, Callie. You'll be running the place in a week."

  Callie checked the little map she had, and they got up to go back to their motel. She led them down a path between two of the dorm buildings. The air was cooler there, shaded from the afternoon sun by the height of the brick structures on both sides. Callie froze suddenly, the cool air sending a chill across her back. She grabbed Jenny's hand, pulling hard, and stopped the redhead in her tracks. Jenny looked at her, surprised, then alarmed. She watched as the blue of Callie's eyes faded slowly, her pupils nearly disappearing. She stood, staring intently, focusing on what appeared to be thin air. Jenny grabbed onto the blond girl's arm, sure she was going to pass out, as she had at the funeral.

  Callie wasn't there, not in the light of the hot afternoon. She was in the space between the buildings, but it was pitch black, and the she was listening to the wail of sirens. Gunshots sounded in the distance, and someone was pulling at her arm, trying to make her hurry.

  "Callie, Callie!" Jenny shook her arm, eyes wide. "What the hell? You kind of went blank for a minute there, I thought you were going to pass out again."

  "No shit, that was weird." She could feel it, the alley, the night, the dark-haired woman yanking on her arm. That was coming, she knew it. "I'm starving, let's go eat before I do tip over."

  The hotel room had one bed, but it was twice the size of the one they shared at Jenny's. They sat leaning against the headboard, watching a movie and eating Chinese takeout. Jenny kept glancing at Callie. It seemed clear that Jennifer had something on her mind, and Callie finally asked, after catching several odd looks. "What Jenny? What the hell?"

  "I have to tell you something, but you can't get pissed. And you're going to, I know you will. But you can't throw a fit, okay?"

  "So just tell me. You've pissed me off before and I always get over it."

  "I'm late. Like, really late. Like maybe, three months late."

  "Jesus H. Christ! That's not late Jenny, that's for sure pregnant. Greg's baby?"

  "Has to be. I may be easy, but I'm not a slut."

  "So, shit!" Callie tried not to yell. "You have to get in Jenny, we need to get you to Planned Parenthood, right away. It might be too late already, Jesus, how can you be so damn dumb?" Jenny took her hand and looked at her calmly, smiling a little.

  "It's okay Callie, I want this baby. I love kids, and it's a part of Greg. I know you don't get it, but I did love him. I think he would've wanted this baby too, once he got used to the idea."

  "That's why he hit you, isn't it? That's what that big fight was about. That son of a bitch!"

  "It's okay Callie. It doesn't matter now. I'm going to have this baby and love it. He'll be a better person than Greg was, I'll make sure of it." Callie wasn't done arguing.

  "God Jenny, a kid. You're eighteen, you have no idea how to raise a kid, how much they cost, the diapers, feeding them, shit." Jenny threw up her hand and raised her voice a little.

  "My Mom did it when she was seventeen!"

  "So, that would make your Mom about thirty-five years old Jenny. No offense, but she is not aging well. What the hell are you taking about?"

  "My real Mom, Callie. I never knew my real father. As long as I'm telling you all my secrets, my Mom is really my Grandmother. My Mom died when I was seven, that's when we moved here."

  "Oh Jenny, I'm sorry. I always thought your Mom seemed awfully old, but I just never really did the math."

  "Don't tell anybody, okay? She's my Mom now, as far as I'm concerned. My real Mom did a lot of drugs. I want to be a better Mom. I know you don't believe like I do Cal, but this baby is a gift from God."

  "Well, I know there's no point trying to argue God, or fate, or whatever Vo-doo shit you believe in. But just remember next time, that's what condoms are for, you do know that, right?" Callie laughed with Jenny, because there wasn't anything else to do.

  *****

  "You went to the Cities with Jenny? Why didn't you ask me? I would have gone with you, I know where everything is at the U." Callie had stopped at Abby's. Davis Cooper's lawyers had reached a plea deal and he would be transferred to the penitentiary. Callie knew Abby planned to be around in case Davis needed anything. She was surprised that the older woman was upset.

  "You said you were going to see Davis. Did you hear me just say that Jenny is knocked up? We just walked around the school yesterday, then went to the Mall of America this morning. It wasn't a big deal."

  "Oh no, not a big deal. I had the whole weekend free. There's no reason we couldn't have spent the weekend together, but you'd rather spend your time with Jenny." Abby was starting to cry, which made Callie angrier.

  "I sure as hell would. She doesn't scream at me or get jealous over stupid shit like this. She's pregnant for Christs sake. She likes guys, that's how she got that way. We're just friends, quit being a jealous bitch." They glared at each other for a moment, then Callie turned and walked out, slamming the door behind her.

  Art class was uncomfortable that week. Abby glared at Callie and Jenny equally, until Jenny finally asked her why she was mad at her. Then she just glared at Callie. Callie decided she didn't give a shit. Abby couldn't have gone to the city with her anyway. And what if someone saw them? Unlikely as that was, it was a legitimate reason for not inviting her. Besides, she had bigger problems than a jealous girlfriend, or lover, or whatever the hell she was. The dreams were back.

  It was becoming almost impossible to sleep. Greg Johnson waited for her every time she drifted off. When it wasn't Greg, it was the woman in the alley, yanking on her arm, pulling her to safety. She still wasn't convinced her dreams were anything but that, dreams. But seeing Davis Cooper, knowing he was one of the men in her dream, couldn't be explained. She had begun to have another, darker dream. A dream of another military man, this one a marine, or a sailor, she couldn't be sure. She just knew that she felt an unreasonable dread that left her paralyzed when she woke up. Finally, unable to deal with not sleeping, she made an appointment with Doctor Nelson. He talked Prozac, but when she refused, he gave her a generic sleep aid and a lecture about stress. The Ambien was helpful.

  After a couple good night's sleep, Callie softened a little and visited the Art room during Abby's free time. She didn't apologize, she just smiled and told the woman she missed her. They spent the evening together, and all seemed forgiven. But when Jenny came up in their conversation, Callie could tell Abby wasn't over her jealousy of the younger girl. No amount of reassurance from Callie could change what Abby thought she knew, that Jenny had Callie's heart, and would always come first.

  Jenny saw Doctor Nelson as well, and was indeed fifteen weeks pregnant. The due date was the end of September. Callie had to be at school by the third, so she knew she would probably miss the birth. She had no intention of watching the whole business, but Jenny insisted that she should be the one with her in delivery, since Greg could not. Callie succumbed to Jenny's pleas and agreed to be there and help her breath. Jenny didn't wait for the school rumor mill to spread the news of her pregnancy, she did it herself. Within a couple of days, everyone in town knew there was a Johnson baby on the way. Not everyone was pleased to hear the news.

  Dick Johnson, Greg's dad, immediately jumped to the conclusion that Jenny would somehow make a claim on the family's garage, and pursue some sort of child support. Callie heard that news from the coffee guys at the hardware store, so she held off on rushing down there to deliver an ass chewing. She knew her father's band of misfits weren't the most reliable source of information, but she wasn't about to let Jenny be maligned. The Johnson's garage and gas station had closed for two weeks after Greg's death. He was their only son and his parents were devastated, as any parents would be, but Callie made it her business to protect her friend.

  She was sitting with Jenny watching television one night, near the end of May, when the house phone rang. Mrs. Mconvil
refused to get a cell phone or change the number she'd had for so many years. Callie listened to Jennifer's half of the conversation, bristling when she realized that it was probably Mrs. Johnson on the other end of the line. She watched Jenny pass through a myriad of emotions. Her normal cheery demeanor changed quickly to sadness, then resolve, then back to happiness in the space of five minutes. When she sat back down she glanced at her mother and Callie, biting her lip, but not offering any information.

  "Jenny, so what the hell. That was Greg's Mom wasn't it. What did that bitch want?"

  "Callie, jeez, I don't even want to tell you. I don't want you going over there screaming at her. She's really a nice person, and she just lost her son."

  "Alright, you're right, I'll behave, so what the hell did she say?"

  "She wanted to know if I'd take a paternity test. Stop, don't flip out." Callie had stood up. "I told her no, I know whose baby this is and she can either believe me or not. She was nice, she wants to help me with expenses, but Dick won't let her, unless they know for sure it's Greg's. I guess they can be pretty certain from their DNA, I don't know. But I told her no. If they want to be a part of their grandchild's life they can, grandparents are great, right Mom?" Mrs. Mconvil smiled at the joke, unaware of what Callie knew. "Anyway, she said she would keep working on Dick and do what she could to help me, which is nice, right? She's going to throw me a baby shower, in June sometime. It might take a while, but once Dick sees his grandchild, he'll love him, or her. Everybody loves babies." Callie frowned at her.

  "I can do without them, they smell bad and they're always yelling."

  "Callie, you shit!" Jenny laughed. "You better love this baby, you're going to be the Godmother."

  "Jen, I'm a damn Heathen, how can I be the Godmother?"

  "It's not a legal thing Callie, but if I tip over you have to take this kid to church."

  "Right!" Callie paused. "Doesn’t matter, you're going to live to be ninety-three anyway." Callie said it lightly but she suddenly had the image swimming in her head, of an aged Jenny, surrounded by her children, and children's children, waiting for her to pass. It felt real, like she was there, like one of her dreams.

  *****

  Graduation. It was a day Callie had always thought would mark the beginning of a new life, her ticket out. It seemed unimportant now. She wasn't nearly as sure she wanted out. She finished second in her class, Travis a close third. They got their diploma's, tossed their hats in the air, but skipped the party after. Jenny couldn't drink and Callie didn't want to. They celebrated with a garbage pizza, parked on the couch in front of Jenny's television.

  As Calle spent more time with her pregnant friend, she spent less with Abby Cooper, and their relationship began to unravel. Davis Cooper, housed in the state penitentiary in Saint Cloud, started to open up to his wife. Abby made it seem unimportant, but Callie suspected it was the end for them. They were fighting often. Abby acted jealous and insecure, crying about how much she loved Callie one minute, telling her how much Davis needed her the next. Callie wasn't sure she cared if Abby was drifting away from her and back to her husband, it seemed like it was time. Spending time in the bedroom with her teacher wasn't as important as it had been. It reminded her of what she had done and why. And, more importantly, it took away from her time with Jenny.

  Two weeks after graduation, she stopped at Abby's house on her way home from the hardware. Abby had texted her, saying they needed to talk. Callie walked into the familiar house, wondering if it would be the last time. It was obvious right away, from the look on the woman's face, that Abby planned on a serious discussion. Callie sat on the couch next to Abby and unconsciously put her hand on the woman's leg. Abby picked it up, cradling it in both of hers, and looked at her silently for a few moments.

  "The union and the school have worked out a deal. They'll buy out my contract, they want me gone. It's a small town and there's just too much talk. But I want to teach, Callie. I'm going to go home to my parents for a while, then I'm going to move to Saint Cloud. I can find a job there, maybe teach, be near Davis. I can't live with this, my part in everything that happened. I have to go."

  "Abby, I know we haven't been getting along very well, and it's mostly my fault, I'm sorry."

  "Callie, the thing is, the thing I need to tell you, is that I know. The day it happened, that Davis attacked Greg, he showed me the note."

  "What note?" Callie felt the hairs stand up on her neck, but kept her pretty blue eyes fixed on Abby. "I never heard anything about any note, what did it say?"

  "It said that Greg and I were having an affair all year, but you know that."

  "Holy shit, what'd the cops say, wouldn't that help his case? Did they figure out who sent it?" Abby looked at her, eyes empty.

  "I burned it Callie, I knew it had to be you."

  "Jesus Abby, why would I do that? You should have saved it, they maybe could've figured out who sent it. Everybody's printer is different. On cop shows they're always tracking people down that way." Abby stared at her, a random tear, trickling from her eye.

  "You know, I tried to convince myself, maybe it wasn't you, I didn't want it to be you. I was so crazy in love and obsessed with you. I can't prove it was you Callie, but it had to be. Who else would do it? No one else knew, no one else had any reason to do that."

  "Maybe somebody hated Greg, they saw your husband and knew he would kick Greg's ass. How the hell could anyone know he'd kill him?" She was trying to keep her voice from rising, sounding hysterical. "You should have saved the damn letter."

  "It's a little thing Callie, but it just makes me even more sure. I called it a note, on purpose, like it was that, hand written. You knew right away, that it was typed, because it was you that printed it."

  "That doesn't prove a damn thing Abby. Everybody has a printer anymore, I just assumed that's what you were talking about."

  "No," Abby continued quietly. "I know it was you. Davis is in jail Callie, and a boy is dead. Why? Because we're good in bed? Because you didn't want to give that up?"

  "Because your husband is a fucking monster that deserves to be in jail, Abby. He's the one that did it all, he killed Greg with that tire iron, and he killed that woman in Afghanistan!" Callie was screaming now, and she knew that she sounded hysterical. But she also knew it was the truth.

  "What in the hell are you talking about? That makes no sense." Callie stood up, backing toward the door.

  "Go tell the cops then, if you think I left that letter. See what happens then. Goodbye ever teaching again. What will Davis say about you messing around with a high school girl?"

  "That isn't even what worries you, is it?" Abby held her head in her hands, crying harder. "It's her. If she found out you killed Greg, goodbye to Callie. No chance with your little girlfriend after that, right?" Callie wanted to run. Just run away from Abby and from what she knew was the truth. But Jenny needed her now, she couldn't let Abby ruin that.

  "Abby, if you tell this ridiculous story, to the cops or Jenny, I promise you, I will ruin your life. I will tell everyone how you seduced me and make sure Davis knows just how much you love pussy." She had walked toward Abby again, the color fading from her eyes.

  "Do you know, what's truly sad?" Abby didn't look up at her. "If you stopped right now, if you kissed me and said how much you love me, that we could be together, I would throw it all away for you. I'd go anywhere or do anything. Just to hold you at night and look into those beautiful fucking eyes of yours. Say it Callie! Tell me you love me, please?" Callie looked down at her and just shook her head slightly. "Goodbye Callie Fisher." Abby said as she stood and wrapped her arms briefly around Callie. "I have to get away from you, from this hold you have on me. I hope you figure out how to be happy. Try not to ruin Jenny's life Callie, she's better than you and me. Please, just go, okay?"

  Callie turned and walked slowly out the door. It was raining, a warm summer rain that was washing the pollen from the air, from Callie's car, and from the street. Callie started h
er car and backed into the street. She stopped a block away, crying too hard to drive. She got out of her car and stood, looking up for a long time. She let the rain soak her to the skin, hoping somehow it would wash away her pain, then got back into her car and drove home.

  Chapter 11

  There were a few things Callie liked less than any kind of shower, but it was a short list. Greg's Mom had come through on her promise to throw Jenny a baby shower. She must have invited every Johnson woman in the county, just in case they were relatives, as well as every girl in the senior class. Holly was there, designated to help catalogue the presents as Jenny opened them. Callie had refused. She had a seat near the guest of honor, but did her best to hide from attention. Jenny was in her element. She relished being the center of attention and was good at making other people happy. She made a fuss over every game and present, no matter how ridiculous or small it was, or how distantly related the person was giving it. The room was large, but all the people and bright sunlight pouring in the window, heated it quickly. Callie was hot and uncomfortable within a few minutes. But she sat in line as each present was passed around the room for examination and approval and made an attempt to act like she was enjoying herself.

  She watched as Jenny opened a small package, nearly the last one in the pile. It was from the host, Greg's mother. A keepsake from Greg's past she said. Jenny opened the small box and pulled out what looked like a small rattle. Greg's mother spoke up. "Greg's grandfather put the little bell on it, it's got a really good hook to keep it from falling off and choking the baby." Jenny held it up and shook the bell. It tinkled loudly and Callie dropped her eyes, as her stomach suddenly knotted and turned. Holly made note of the trinket and who it was from, then pushed it into Callie's hands. It was a ring of plastic, like a doughnut, but hollow inside, so that it rattled when you shook it. Greg's grandfather must have thought the noise was insufficient, because he had attached a small silver bell. The ring he used was solid looking and bent into place so that the small bell could never fall off. The plastic ring was light blue with sparkles molded into it, exactly the same color as the collar on the Calico cat. Callie stared at it for a minute, the sweat on her forehead feeling suddenly cold. She shook it slightly and the bell jangled as expected, sending chills through her.