EG01 - When One Door Closes

by Joan Jonker

  ‘Come on, lass; let’s get next door before Gerry starts.’ Martha was pushing Mary ahead of her through the house. ‘I’ve made a flask of tea so you can have a drink in the shelter.’

  Mary laughed as she picked up the big bag standing by the kitchen door. ‘Ready for any emergency, aren’t you, Mam?’

  ‘Better sure than sorry, lass.’ Martha switched the light off and pushed Mary out of the back door. ‘They’re early tonight. Let’s hope it doesn’t last long.’ They made their way through the temporary gate between the two houses and stumbled down the crude steps into their neighbours’ shelter. Fred Smith had had half his back yard dug up, about five feet down into the earth. The walls of the shelter were corrugated iron outside and lined with wood inside. A piece of corrugated iron also served as a roof. It was a home-made affair, and Mary felt they would be just as safe in their own house under the stairs.

  Fred and Elsie Smith were already in the shelter with their two sons. Tommy was twelve and Dennis ten. They were huddled on two of the three benches that ran round the walls, and the two boys sounded half asleep, as though they’d just been dragged out of bed. The smell of the damp earth invaded Mary’s nostrils and she shivered with the cold. How Mr Smith could stand it she’d never know. He was a chronic asthmatic and sometimes could hardly breathe in the claustrophobic atmosphere. When it was quiet in the shelter you could hear him gasping for air, and Mary was more frightened of him stopping breathing than she was of the German planes.

  ‘They’re at it again, Martha.’ Elsie Smith’s whining voice matched the rest of her. In all the years they’d been neighbours, Mary had never heard Elsie Smith give a hearty laugh. It was too dark in the shelter to see her, but Mary could picture how she’d look. Her sparse grey hair would be snatched back from her face and tied in a bun. And her pinched face would be sunken because she’d have left her false teeth in a cup at the side of the bed. She was a miserable woman was Elsie Smith. Old before her time.

  ‘Let’s hope it’s a false alarm.’ Martha reached for the blanket Mary had taken from the bag. ‘Give it here, lass, and sit down and have a drink to warm you up.’

  Mary wrapped the blanket over her knees. ‘D’you want a drink, Mam?’

  ‘No, thanks, lass. What about you, Elsie? Any of yours want a drink?’

  ‘No, ta, Martha.’ Elsie felt Tommy stir and said quickly. ‘Oh, no you don’t! You’ll be wanting to go to the lavvy, and you’re not moving till the all-clear goes.’

  The hot steam wafted up into Mary’s face. She gauged the cup to be half full then balanced it on her knee while she screwed the top back on the flask. Warming her hands round the cup she sighed in appreciation. ‘I can feel the warmth go right through me body.’ She had the cup half way to her lips when the ack-ack guns started and a second later a terrific explosion shook the earth all around them.

  ‘My God, that was close,’ Fred croaked. ‘Too close for comfort.’

  Mary had jumped with fright, and now she could feel the hot tea trickling down her legs and into her shoes. She bent to put the cup on the ground but froze when there came the whistling sound of a bomb coming down. It seemed like an eternity, but it was only seconds before the explosion shook the tiny shelter. The drone of planes overhead became louder until it seemed the sky must be full of them. Mary put her hands to her ears to blot out the sound of bombs as they dived towards their target, but she couldn’t blot out the sound of them exploding or the ground shaking beneath their feet. When the sound of the planes died away and the ack-ack guns stopped firing, they could hear the crashing of buildings and the shouts of people shouting and screaming. ‘This is the worst night we’ve had.’ Fred’s breathing was laboured. ‘There must have been hundreds of planes out there, and there’ll be plenty poor buggers without a roof over their head after this night. And for all we know, we might be among them.’

  Mary’s tummy was knotted with fear. Would Bob’s mam and dad be all right? And what about Eileen and the kids? Please God, let them be safe, she prayed.

  ‘Is it over now, Dad?’

  Mary hadn’t realised it had gone quiet until she heard Tommy’s high, tearful voice. Poor kid, she thought. I’m frightened, so how must he feel?

  ‘It won’t be long before the all-clear goes, son. And it mightn’t be as bad as we think. Things always seem worse when you don’t know what’s going on.’

  ‘What time is it, Mr Smith?’ Fred always brought a torch with him, and now Mary could see the tiny glow.

  ‘It’s twelve o’clock, lass. It might be over, but if I were you I’d wait till the all-clear goes, just to be sure.’

  ‘Oh, we’re not going!’ It was Martha who answered. She heard Mary’s weary sigh and put an arm across her shoulders. ‘You’re dead beat, lass. Put your head on my shoulder and if you fall asleep I’ll wake you as soon as the all-clear goes.’

  Mary nestled into her mother’s neck where it was safe and warm, and she felt herself drifting away from the sound of Elsie Smith’s voice.

  Chapter Three

  Eileen broke into a run after leaving Mary. The wail of the siren was urging her on but the exertion of forcing her heavy body to move quickly was causing her heartbeat to race and she had a pain in her chest. Beads of sweat ran down her neck and into the valley between her breasts. How the hell I keep so fat I’ll never understand, she muttered to herself. It’s not as though I sit on me backside all day doing nothing. I’m on me feet from the time I get up in the morning till the time I go to bed. In fact, if it wasn’t for me mam, I wouldn’t get to bed at all!

  When Eileen’s dad had died eleven years ago, just after her and Bill got married, she’d asked her mam to come and live with them to save being on her own. And what a Godsend she’d been since the war started and Bill had been called up. If it wasn’t for her helping with the kids, Eileen wouldn’t be able to go out to work and she’d have to struggle along on Bill’s Army pay. At least now they could afford a few luxuries.

  People were walking in the opposite direction and Eileen scanned their faces looking for her mam and the kids. But she was at the corner of their street before she saw them. The two girls had hold of their nanna’s hands and all three were looking over their shoulder. There was impatience in her mother’s voice as she called, ‘Come on, Billy! Hurry up!’

  ‘OK, kids; what’s goin’ on?’ Eileen’s voice made them jump, then the two girls started to talk at once. ‘Our Billy wouldn’t get out of bed, Mam!’ This was from the baby of the family, Edna, who was six. ‘He gave me nanna cheek, too!’ said Joan, who was eight.

  Billy, the object of their complaints, hung behind. He was ten years of age and full of fun and mischief. Although she wouldn’t admit it, even to herself, he was the apple of Eileen’s eye. Every time she looked at him she could see Bill. Young Billy had the same jet black hair as his dad, and the same deep brown eyes. But he was more stubborn than his dad, and would have the last word even if it meant getting a clip round the ear for it.

  ‘OK, kids! Let’s get our backsides down to the shelter before Gerry starts his shenanigans.’

  ‘Ah, ray, Mam!’ Billy wailed. ‘Why can’t we stay in our own ’ouse? Robbie Watson sleeps under the stairs in their ’ouse, so why can’t we?’

  ‘’Cos I say so, bugger lugs!’ Eileen grabbed him by the scruff of his neck and marched him in front of her. ‘Been playin’ yer up, has he, Mam?’

  ‘He’s no different to the others; none of them do as they’re told.’ Maggie Henderson tried to keep the weariness out of her voice. At sixty-five she was finding it a handful looking after three lively children. But not for a big clock would she tell Eileen. Her daughter had enough on her plate with working and worrying about Bill. Anyway, Maggie felt sorry for the kids. They missed their dad.

  Walking behind Eileen, Maggie noticed the weary sag of her body. She could see her shoes digging into the fat hanging over them, and knew each step must be agony. Maggie sighed. Where she gets her size from I don’t know. S
he was as thin as me until she started having the children. Then she’d piled the weight on, and had never lost it since. Maggie’s eyes went down to the two girls holding on tightly to her hands. They were the image of Eileen at their age. She used to be like them; small, with thin spindly arms and legs. They had her mousey coloured hair, too; and it was cut in a fringe just like hers used to be.

  They turned in the park gates and when they reached the long, sloping concrete path that led down into the shelter, they could hear singing.

  ‘Sounds like a full house, Mam,’ Eileen laughed over her shoulder. ‘Yer wouldn’t think there was a war on, would yer?’

  ‘That’s the only good thing about the war,’ Maggie answered. ‘Everybody’s more friendly. Pity it takes a war to bring people together, though.’

  When the shelter was built, just before the war started, nobody ever thought it would be used. They certainly didn’t think they’d be getting out of their beds every night to come to it. And they didn’t, until the blitz started a few weeks ago. Now it was full every night.

  Eileen pushed her way good-naturedly through the noisy crowd, with Maggie and the kids following. Their neighbours smiled when they saw the small procession. Eileen was well liked in their street because you could always go to her if you were skint in the middle of the week and didn’t have anything for the pawn shop. Never see you stuck for a couple of bob, would Eileen, and she had a smile for everyone.

  ‘Sit yerselves down there!’ Eileen pointed to an empty space by the wall. ‘And for Christ’s sake, don’t start fightin’ like yez did the other night or yer’ll get a clip round the ears.’

  ‘Well tell our Billy not to keep pinchin’ us when you’re not lookin’.’ Joan glared at her brother who stuck his tongue out at her. ‘He’s always kickin’ or pinchin’ us.’

  ‘Then pinch him back where it hurts! But for cryin’ out loud, sit down and shut yer gobs.’ Eileen turned to smile at a little woman standing near. She was about seventy-five, and was wrapped in a blanket with a scarf over her head. ‘Hello, Nellie! Where’s your feller tonight? Out with that young blonde again, is he?’

  The lines in Nellie’s face deepened as she grinned. ‘It’s his night for fire watching. He was out with the blonde last night.’

  ‘Oh, aye! Playin’ with fire both nights, eh?’ Eileen laughed. ‘He’ll be comin’ home one of these nights and tellin’ yer he’s got a girl in the family way! Yer can’t trust these men, yer know.’

  ‘Oh, my feller’s fire burned out a long time ago.’ Nellie was enjoying the joke. ‘There’s not even a flicker left now.’

  ‘He’s no good to me, then! I’m lookin’ for a man with fire in his belly! Mind you,’ Eileen grimaced, ‘it’s so long since I had a man I wouldn’t know what to do with one now.’

  A small, thin woman, whose dark hair was heavily tinged with grey, touched Eileen’s arm. ‘Getting to be a regular thing now, isn’t it?’

  ‘Hello, Mrs West! Where’s yer husband?’

  ‘Fire duty,’ Bob’s mam answered. ‘D’you know if Mary would have had time to get to a shelter?’

  ‘Yeh. She’d be home before me, so don’t worry.’

  ‘Come on, let’s have a song,’ a young sailor shouted. ‘Any requests?’

  ‘Roll Out The Barrel!’ a voice from the crowd called. ‘You start, and we’ll all join in.’

  Everyone started to sing with gusto, and they were halfway through the song when an almighty explosion shook the shelter. The voices stopped as one, and all eyes turned upwards, expecting the roof to cave in on them. There was a shocked silence for a few seconds then women started screaming and there was a mad scramble for the exit as another explosion shook the earth beneath and around the shelter.

  The kids had jumped up crying, and they clung to Eileen’s waist. She glanced from her mother to Mrs West and saw stark fear in their eyes. Then she was aware that the movement of the crowd had stopped, and she heard a voice telling people to calm down. It was an Army corporal, and with two other soldiers he was trying to stop people leaving the shelter. ‘You’re safer here than outside,’ he told them. ‘These shelters will stand up to anything, so calm down and wait till the all-clear goes.’ What the corporal didn’t tell them was that he’d been on the slope outside when the last two bombs landed. They’d been very close, and the corporal knew that the homes of some of the people he was trying to calm down would be in ruins.

  There was a shuffling of feet but no one made any move to leave the shelter. Complete silence reigned until the ack-ack guns started again, and they could hear the drone of planes. Eileen gathered the children to her ample breast and rocked gently to and fro. ‘It’s all right,’ she crooned softly. ‘I won’t let anything happen to yez.’ But the children screamed as the ground trembled beneath their feet. ‘I’m frightened, Mam,’ little Edna sobbed. ‘When can we go ’ome?’

  ‘Soon, baby, soon.’

  The corporal pushed his way to where the young sailor was standing and whispered in his ear. The sailor nodded, then in a loud voice, called, ‘One more song, folks, then I promise it’ll all be over.’ No one was in the mood now for singing and they turned their backs. He looked at the corporal and shrugged his shoulders. ‘Go on!’ mouthed the corporal, and after another shrug the sailor opened his mouth and his clear voice rang out.

  ‘Land of hope and Glory, Mother of the free,

  How can we extol thee, who are born of thee.’

  The servicemen in the crowd joined in, then a few people half-heartedly spoke the words. Gradually more voices joined, softly at first, then stronger as the words gave them courage, determination and pride.

  ‘Sod the Germans.’ Eileen wiped a tear away and her voice rose to join the chorus. Each time the song ended the sailor would begin again, and they were halfway through the fourth rendition when a voice shouted, ‘The all-clear’s going.’ Immediately there was a stampede towards the entrance and Eileen held her children close in case they were trampled underfoot. The corporal and two of his friends formed a barrier across the entrance, and it was the note of authority in his voice that halted the surge. ‘Just hang on a minute! It’s pretty bad out there, so don’t anyone go home on their own. Stay with friends and keep away from the fires.’

  Eileen held the children back. ‘Let’s wait till the crush is over. You wait with us, Mrs West, and we’ll all walk home together.’

  Ten minutes later the front of the shelter still hadn’t cleared, and Eileen whispered in her mother’s ear. ‘There’s somethin’ wrong, Mam! Keep your eyes on the kids while I go and see what’s up.’

  Elbowing her way through the crowd she reached the slope which was jam packed with people who were standing like statues. She didn’t have to ask why. ‘Bloody hell!’ she gasped. The whole sky was like a bright orange ball, and Eileen felt her heart turn over in fear. ‘Would yez all start movin’ please? No one can get out while you’re blockin’ the entrance, an’ we’d all like to get home.’ Her loud voice brought the people out of their trance, and slowly the mass started to move. Her face grey, Eileen fought her way back to the family. ‘I don’t know how far away it is, but it looks bloody awful out there.’

  ‘What is it?’ Lily West’s face was anxious. ‘What did you see?’

  ‘From the colour of the sky, I’d say half of Liverpool was on fire.’

  ‘Oh, dear! I hope Bob’s all right.’ Lily was shaking with nerves. ‘He’s on duty, and he’ll be in the thick of it.’

  ‘Don’t start worrying till yer know what’s happened.’ Eileen winked over the heads of the children in a warning not to frighten them. ‘The fire might be miles away for all we know.’

  It was ten minutes before the shelter cleared and Eileen was able to move her family out. She heard Lily’s cry of horror as they reached the end of the path and could see the flames licking the sky and heard the sound of crashing buildings.

  ‘Mam, will our ’ouse be all right?’ Tough little Billy wasn’t feeling so tough now
. He was frightened.

  ‘We’ll have to hope for the best, won’t we, son?’ In her heart Eileen was crying. Oh, God, Bill, where are yer? Me and the kids need yer! For the first time in her life she was afraid. ‘Stay with us, Mrs West! We’ll walk yer home.’

  ‘I’ll run on and see if Bob’s all right.’ Lily was impatient. The children were slowing her down. ‘I’ll be fine; don’t you worry!’

  ‘Mrs West, wait! Those fires are near our street, an’ I think we should stick together.’

  But Lily ran on, and Eileen had to force the children into a trot to keep up. They were three streets from their home when Lily screamed. ‘It’s our street that’s on fire; I know it is!’ Then her feet seemed to leave the ground as she spurted forward. Eileen dropped the girls’ hands and took off after her, shouting over her shoulder ‘See to the kids will yer, Mam?’

  Fear must have given wings to Lily’s feet because she was out of sight in no time. Gasping for breath Eileen turned the corner, then leaned against the wall. Her eyes widened in horror as she took in the scene further down the narrow street. It seemed as though the whole bottom of the street was on fire. In the light from the flames Eileen could see men shading their faces with their hands, against the heat. Others were stooping down throwing bricks into the middle of the road.

  When her breathing had eased Eileen walked down slowly to where Lily West was being restrained by two men. ‘I want to get to my house!’ she was screaming. ‘Leave go of me! It’s my house, and I want to get me things.’

  One of the men holding her spoke softly. ‘You can’t go any nearer, love! The whole place could go up any minute.’

  His words caused Lily to struggle more violently. ‘Me husband might be in there! Let go of me!’

  ‘Your husband will be here soon, love! He’s all right, and we’ve sent for him.’

  ‘You’re lying!’ Lily spat. ‘He’s in there, and I want to go to him.’ She was nearly demented as she wriggled to free herself. ‘Take your hands off me!’