EG01 - When One Door Closes

by Joan Jonker

  Eileen moved forward. ‘Let me talk to her.’

  The man moved aside and Eileen took hold of Lily’s arm. ‘Yer husband’s all right, Mrs West, honest! He’ll be here soon!’ She put her arms round the shaking woman and held her close. Patting her back as she would a baby, she soothed, ‘That’s it; have a good cry.’

  The two men watched for a few seconds, then seeing Lily was in good hands they went back to work on the fire that was destroying her home.

  Then Bob West was standing in front of them and Eileen turned Lily round. ‘Here’s yer husband.’

  Bob didn’t speak. He just held out his arms and his wife rushed into them. ‘Thank God, you’re safe.’ Sobbing uncontrollably, she cried, ‘Our house has gone, Bob! We’ve got no home, now.’

  ‘There now, lass, don’t cry! We’re safe, and that’s the main thing.’ He held her close till her sobbing eased, then he looked over her head to Eileen. ‘Stay with her, lass, till I run for her niece. Lily can stay with her until I can get something sorted out. Then I’ll have to get back to the depot, because they need every pair of hands they can get.’

  Eileen couldn’t trust herself to speak. Putting her arms round Lily, she drew her from Bob’s arms and nodded.

  Maggie was standing at the front door, a worried expression on her face. ‘I’m afraid you’re coming into a right mess, love!’

  ‘Mam, if the four walls are standin’ I’ll consider meself very lucky.’ Eileen waved her arm down the street. ‘The Wests have lost their home; it’s been gutted! And when yer think, it could just have easily been this end of the street that caught that lot!’

  ‘I’ve put the kids to bed; they were falling asleep on their feet.’ Maggie followed her daughter down the hall and watched the expression on her face as she surveyed the mess in the living room. ‘I haven’t had a good look upstairs, but it doesn’t seem too bad. There’s a few broken windows, and some of the ceiling’s down in your room, but nothing that can’t be put right.’ Eileen stepped over the broken mirror and ornaments strewn across the soot-covered floor. She was about to sit down when Maggie said sharply, ‘Don’t sit down! Everything’s filthy!’

  Sitting down heavily, Eileen closed her eyes. ‘Mam, I really couldn’t give a shit!’

  ‘There’s no need for language like that.’ Maggie tutted. ‘I don’t know where you get it from. You never heard me or your dad use that sort of language.’

  ‘I know, I know! Neither does me posh sister, Rene!’ Eileen sounded weary. ‘I’m the black sheep of the family, and I’m no lady! But yer know what they say, Mam; yer can’t make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear.’

  ‘Don’t talk stupid! You’re as much of a lady as our Rene, except that she puts on airs and graces.’ Maggie grinned, ‘Anyway, there’s more of you than there is of her!’

  ‘Yeah! About ten stone; give or take a stone or two.’ Eileen suddenly started laughing. ‘We’ve certainly picked a fine time to have a heart to heart talk, Mam! This place is like a midden, and we’re discussin’ whether I’m a lady or a big, fat, loud-mouthed cow!’

  Although they were alike in looks, except that Eileen was fatter than her mother had ever been, Maggie wasn’t as outgoing, or as outspoken as her daughter. She looked at her now and pursed her lips. ‘I don’t know what’s come over you lately. You’ve changed since Bill went away. When he was here you never used to swear, and you always kept yourself neat and tidy! Now you don’t seem to care how you look.’

  ‘What’s the good, Mam? With Bill not here, who is there for me to dress up for?’ Eileen’s body sagged, as though all the fight had gone out of her. ‘I don’t half miss him, Mam! I wouldn’t mind so much if I knew he was all right, but I don’t! Sometimes I think I’ll never see him again.’

  ‘Of course you will!’ Maggie had never heard Eileen sound so defeated. ‘What’s the matter with you tonight? I’ve never heard you talk like this before.’

  ‘No! I’m the big, tough Eileen, who wouldn’t worry if her backside was on fire! That’s what everybody thinks, isn’t it, Mam?’ Eileen’s voice was bitter. ‘Well there’s times when I get fed-up tryin’ to put a brave front on, and tonight’s one of them. I’m tired, Mam! Tired of goin’ to work every day, and tired of tryin’ to be both Mother and Father to the kids.’

  ‘Shall I make us a cuppa?’ Maggie didn’t know how to take Eileen in this mood. ‘That’s if we’ve got any cups left.’

  ‘No, thanks, Mam! I’m goin’ to bed.’ Eileen put her hands on the side of the chair to lever herself up. ‘Yer’ve had all me moans tonight, but don’t worry, I’ll be back to normal tomorrow.’

  ‘You might be back to normal, but this room certainly won’t!’

  ‘Well, I’ve got two days off after tomorrow’s shift, so I’ll get stuck in. A dollop of elbow grease an’ we’ll soon have it straight.’ Eileen reached the door, and when she turned there was a grin stretching from ear to ear. ‘If I got a telegram tomorrow, saying Bill was on his way home, you wouldn’t see me heels for dust! I’d be down at the hairdressers getting me hair permed, then on to TJs to buy meself some glamorous clothes. I’d even buy meself a pair of them french knickers!’

  ‘Go on with you!’ Maggie laughed. ‘French knickers indeed!’

  Eileen had her foot on the first stair, then turned back and popped her head round the door. ‘On second thoughts, I won’t bother with the french knickers! They’re very expensive, an’ it would be a waste of money because Bill would probably tear them off in his haste to get to me body!’

  Chapter Four

  ‘Come on, lass, the all-clear’s gone.’ Martha shook Mary’s shoulder. ‘Fold the blankets and let’s go home.’

  Mary bent her head as she stood up, careful not to bang it on the low roof. She bundled the blankets into the bag and opened the door. The sight that met her caused her to gape in horror and brought cries from the others. The whole sky was a bright orange glow from the fires they could see raging above the roofs of their houses. They could feel the heat on their faces, even inside the shelter, and were rooted to the spot, unable to take in what they were seeing. The smell and crackle of burning wood was mixed with the roar of the flames, the crashing buildings and the screams.

  ‘Oh, my God!’ Martha’s voice was hoarse. ‘I wonder how far away that is?’

  ‘Very near, I should say,’ Fred whispered. ‘I think we’ve been very lucky.’

  ‘We don’t know till we’ve looked,’ Elsie cried. ‘Our house might be damaged.’

  ‘You’re alive, aren’t you?’ Fred spoke sharply. ‘From the looks of things, I’d say there’s plenty out there would change places with us, so just thank God we’re all right!’ He put an arm round each of the boys’ shoulders when they started to cry. Tonight they’d found out war wasn’t pretend, and nothing like Cowboys and Indians.

  ‘I’ll go in, Mam, and see if everything’s all right,’ Mary said. ‘You stay here till I get back.’

  ‘Oh, no, you don’t!’ Martha pushed her out of the way. ‘I’m coming with you.’

  ‘Can we leave our things, Mr Smith?’ Mary asked. ‘I’ll get them later.’

  ‘Yes, love. We’ll sort things out later. Goodnight and God Bless.’

  Something in the tone of Fred’s voice turned Mary round. In the light from the fires raging round them and the searchlights still zig-zagging across the sky in search of any German stragglers, Fred looked more stooped and more filled with despair than Mary had ever seen him. He’s such a nice man, she thought, and God knows he deserved more in life than a moaning wife who was draining all the spirit from him. The only sunshine in his life were the two sons he doted on. Impulsively, Mary touched his arm. ‘Thanks for everything, Mr Smith! Goodnight and God Bless.’

  ‘It seems all right, Mam.’ Mary had her head poked round the kitchen door.

  ‘Well get in and let’s have a look.’ Martha gave her a gentle push. ‘If the ceiling was going to come down it would have done it before now.’

&nb
sp; Mary’s foot came into contact with something that skidded across the floor, and her heart leapt until she heard the tinkling of broken crockery. ‘Ooh, I got the fright of me life, then! I thought it was a mouse.’

  ‘If you put the light on, we might be able to see what we’re saying.’ Martha gave her another push, then grimaced when she heard the sound of splintering glass. And when the light flooded the kitchen she shook her head in dismay. ‘Dear lord, it looks as though every dish in the house is broken.’

  It was impossible to see the colour of the oilcloth with the things covering it. Everything that had been hanging on the walls or on the shelves had been thrown to the floor, and if it was breakable then it had broken. The small kitchen table was lying on its side, and the two sauce bottles which had been standing on it smashed to smithereens. The red and brown contents from the Daddie’s Sauce bottles were trickling over pieces of crockery, and the smell from the broken bottle of Aunt Sally liquid soap filled the air. Martha stepped gingerly over to the small floor cabinet. ‘Thank God! Most of the stuff in here is all right, so at least we’ve got some crockery left.’

  ‘Mam!’ Mary’s nose was twitching. ‘There’s a terrible smell of soot.’ She opened the living room door and her gasp of horror brought Martha to peer over her shoulder. The heavy fall of soot, inches deep, had spilled over the firegrate and covered the carpet in front. Everything in the room, including walls and ceiling, was covered in a thick coat of the black coal dust. The air was filled with small particles of it, and Martha put a hand over her nose and mouth as she moved forward to retrieve a framed photograph that was lying amongst the ornaments on the floor. The glass in the frame was intact, and Martha wiped the dust from it with the back of her hand. It was a wedding photograph of her and George, and in the few seconds she gazed down at their smiling faces it ran through her mind that while she was growing old, George never would. To her he would always be a young man. Standing the photograph back on the sideboard, Martha turned to her daughter. ‘We can’t do much in here tonight, lass! I’ll open the windows and see if we can get rid of any of this soot, then we’ll see what we can do in the kitchen.’

  ‘I’ll do the kitchen, Mam! I’ll be quicker on me own. You go and see if everything’s all right upstairs.’ Half an hour later, when Mary opened the door to say she’d cleaned the kitchen as much as she could, she grinned when she saw her mother covered from head to toe in soot. ‘Mam, you look like little orphan Annie!’

  ‘Have you seen yourself? It’s like the pot calling the kettle black.’ Martha managed a tired smile. ‘I think we deserve a cup of tea.’

  ‘Not for me! I want to go out and see what’s happening.’ Mary saw the surprised look and went on quickly. ‘You needn’t come, Mam, but I want to go and see if Bob’s mam and dad are all right.’

  ‘I’m not staying here on me own.’ Martha looked down at herself. ‘Are we all right to go out like this?’

  ‘With what’s going on out there, who the heck’s going to worry what we look like?’

  Outside, they linked arms as people ran past. Some were shouting, others screaming hysterically. One woman was being supported by two men, and Mary heard her pleading, ‘Have you seen our Billy?’

  The air-raid warden helping her sounded weary. ‘I haven’t, Missus. But he was probably in the big shelter, or at a friend’s.’

  ‘Mam, I’ll have to try and get to Bob’s house. I couldn’t go to bed without knowing if they’re all right. Bob would expect me to look out for them.’

  ‘You won’t get through!’ Martha’s voice rose. ‘There’s all them fires between here and their street.’

  ‘I’ve got to try, Mam!’

  Hearing the determination in her daughter’s voice, Martha gave in. ‘I’ll come with you to the bottom of the street, and if we can get through I’ll come with you to the Wests’.’

  As they walked to the end of their block of terrace houses, they could feel the heat from the fires on their faces, and sparks and soot were shooting in the air like fireworks. The noise was deafening, with the sound of exploding gas mains, crumbling buildings and the screech of fire engines.

  ‘We’ll never make it.’ Martha stopped walking. ‘We’d be crazy to try.’

  ‘I’ve got to try! Bob’s not here to help, so I’ve got to.’ For reassurance, Mary added, ‘They’re probably safe and sound, because Mrs West always goes to the park shelter when there’s a raid.’

  Just then one of their neighbours came hurrying past, and Mary grabbed his arm. ‘Mr Fellows, can you tell us which streets have been hit?’

  Jim Fellows, like most men who were too old for the Army, did so many nights a week fire watching. He’d just dashed home to make sure his own family were safe. Sighing now, he answered. ‘I’m sorry, Mary, but until the fires die down it’s impossible to say what the damage is. There’s been a few direct hits, but where they are I just couldn’t tell you.’ Jim Fellows, usually a very mild tempered man, sounded angry. ‘They just dropped their bombs at random, not worrying about hitting houses and killing innocent civilians.’

  ‘Has anyone been killed?’ Mary waited fearfully for the answer.

  ‘I don’t know yet.’ He wiped his eyes with the backs of his hands in an action of despair. ‘Why the hell people haven’t got the sense to go to a shelter when a raid starts I just don’t know! We’ve found some injured, but I think we’ll find a lot more when we can get the fires out.’

  ‘D’you know if Bray Street was hit? That’s where Bob’s mam and dad live.’

  ‘Mary, I’ve told you, I don’t know anything for certain yet! We only cover a certain area, and Bray Street isn’t part of our patrol.’

  ‘D’you think we could get down there?’ Martha asked.

  ‘If you want my advice, Martha, you’ll go home and stay there until things settle down a bit. You’d only get in the way, and I don’t think you’d get through, anyway.’ Mary was still holding on to his arm, and Jim now pulled it free. ‘I’ll have to go! There’s too much to do to stand talking. Take my advice and go home.’

  Martha took Mary’s arm. ‘You heard what he said. Let’s go home and try in the morning.’

  Mary refused to move. ‘I’m going to try and get to the air-raid shelter. Someone may know if the Wests were in there, and if they were I’ll come home. But I can’t go to bed unless I know they’re safe.’

  Martha sighed. ‘Let’s see if we can work our way round the fires, then.’

  They’d reached the bottom of their street when two men in special police uniforms blocked their way. ‘Where are you two ladies going?’

  ‘Bray Street, or the park shelter,’ Mary told him. ‘We want to find out if our friends are all right.’

  ‘You won’t be finding out tonight! I can’t let you past this point.’ The man’s abrupt tone softened. ‘Is it someone special?’

  ‘Me boyfriend’s parents. He’s in the Army, and I’m worried about them.’

  ‘Well, I’m sorry, love, but I daren’t let you go any further. There’s unexploded bombs in there.’ He waved his arm in the direction of the fires. ‘There’s also the risk of explosions from leaking gas mains.’

  ‘Why do they bomb houses?’ Martha asked, bitterly. ‘What good does it do? How can they go home and sleep with a clear conscience after what they’ve done?’

  ‘It isn’t only houses they’ve bombed, Missus. We’ve heard the docks at Seaforth got a real hammering! We asked for reinforcements, but soldiers and volunteers have been sent down there. One of the ammunition ships was hit, and you know what that means.’ The officer shook his head. ‘All hell’s been let loose tonight, and for those men working to put the fires out, it must seem like hell.’

  Two women made to run past them but were pulled up short by the officer who so far hadn’t spoken. Pressing them back to where Mary and her mother stood, he said, ‘Please go home! We can’t let you through because it’s dangerous. There’s no one to answer questions at the depot because every avail
able man is out helping. They’ve got enough on their plates without people wandering around buildings that are likely to explode any minute, so go home!’

  Mary didn’t resist when her mother led her back up the street. Neither of them spoke until they were sitting in the kitchen drinking tea. Her hands round the steaming cup, Martha shook her head sadly. ‘It’s hard to believe what’s happening. Never in me whole life did I think I’d ever see scenes like them out there. I wonder if the pilots have families of their own, and how they’d like it if their houses were bombed.’ Suddenly her cup clattered to the saucer, and covering her face with her hands she started to cry.

  Mary stared at the bowed head. She couldn’t remember seeing her mam cry since the day her dad was buried. ‘Don’t cry, Mam.’ She reached across the table and pulled Martha’s hands from her face. ‘At least we’re all right, and our house is safe. Things mightn’t be as bad as we think. Most people will have been in the shelter, you’ll see! I know it’s terrible that people have lost their homes, but you can build a new home. You can’t bring people back to life.’

  ‘I’m sorry, lass.’ Martha wiped her eyes on the corner of her pinny. ‘It’s just that it all seems so hopeless and unnecessary! What they’ve done won’t bring the war to an end any quicker, so why?’

  ‘Perhaps they’re getting desperate. They say our lads are beginning to fight back now, so the Germans are throwing everything they’ve got at us.’

  Martha looked thoughtful. ‘What do you do if there’s a raid when you’re at work?’

  ‘I’ve told you dozens of times, we go to an underground shelter! And it’s a damn sight safer than going next door.’

  Martha stood and stretched her back. ‘Let’s get to bed! I don’t know how we’ll sleep with all the noise but we can’t sit looking at each other all night. Besides you need some sleep if you’re going to work.’

  ‘I want to get round to the Wests’ early, Mam.’ Mary nodded her head towards the closed living room door. ‘Would you mind if I left you with all the mess? I’ll try and get back in time to give you a hand.’