How The Cookie Crumbles

by Ting, Melanie

  “It feels like a book,” I said glumly.

  “So?”

  It wasn’t Christmas yet, but I opened it anyway. It was a book, The Game by Ken Dryden. I felt like there was a heavy weight on my chest. “See, a book.”

  “What’s the big deal? It’s a book about hockey. I think someone on the team was reading that. It’s old, but Dryden was a good goalie in his time.” He started to laugh, “I think you’re reading too much into this, get it?”

  “Ha, ha. Go ahead and laugh while my life goes down the drain.”

  Domer went to the fridge, “I’m getting a milk to go with my cookies, you want one?”

  I nodded. “But seriously, have you ever seen me reading a book?”

  Domer shook his head and snorted. “Not in all the years I’ve known you!”

  “So, don’t you get it? It’s the beginning. Frankie wants to be my girlfriend and fix me up! She wants me to be smarter, neater, and all that shit. She’s trying to, y’know, butter me up with cookies!”

  Domer laughed even louder. “Do you have any idea how much of an idiot you sound like? But I don’t get it, you told her she could live with you, what did you expect?”

  “I don’t know. I mean, I do like being with her. I figured it would be okay. I told her I wasn’t into relationships! I thought she got it, but Frankie is so intense. I can tell she hopes it’ll be some big deal between us.” Part of me did want her to come and stay because we always had a great time. But another part of me was in a complete panic at getting all tied down and turning into Link.

  Domer shrugged and ate another cookie. “Maybe you could try it.”

  “Try what?”

  “Being in a relationship. Why not, you’ve done everything else.”

  “But that would mean giving up my freedom. I want to do what I want, when I want, and not have anyone on my case.”

  “Freedom to do what? You can still hang out with me and go out with the guys.”

  “Yeah, but I can’t go out and party.”

  “Oh, your freedom to go out and pick up skanks. Who wouldn’t want to keep that, right?” He shook his head.

  “What?”

  “I don’t know. I thought that Frankie was way nicer and hotter than anyone I’ve ever seen you with. And you seemed to be into her, big time. But whatever.” Domer shrugged and ate another cookie. They were almost gone already, so I nabbed another one. Finally he said, “So, tell her she can’t come.”

  “I can’t do that, she’s counting on staying here. She’s made all these arrangements to postpone her classes. She told me she couldn’t afford it any other way. And I invited her in the first place.”

  “Crap, I don’t know. Maybe you could throw money at this problem. Rent her her own place, like near the museum or something.”

  I thought about this idea. I was pretty sure that Frankie wouldn’t accept charity, she hardly ever let me pay for stuff, and when I did she was always trying to even things up. And I felt guilty, when I invited her I did want her to stay. I guess in my head, I had this stupid idea that she would come here and I could do my own thing. I did want to hang out with her, and I really wanted to have sex with her, but I didn’t want to give up partying or going out with the guys. I realized that Frankie was exactly the kind of ball-busting girlfriend who would have me reading and going to art galleries and missing poker nights with the guys. Her middle name was Serious, or maybe Serious Trouble For Jake.

  Well, I’d have to figure something out, some way to let her know that I was calling the shots here. And that would start by proving I wasn’t whipped.

  48. Three’s Company

  “I’ve got a plan,” I declared to Domer as I tried to tidy up Link’s old room. I’d ask Marta to change the sheets and clean when she came, but he’d left some of his crap. Stuff he didn’t want Ella to see, like X-rated shot glasses and a red lace thong. He should have pitched this shit, but I guess he left it as a shrine to his lost balls. I opened the window since it didn’t smell that good in here. Frankie had been so anal about my messy bedroom that I figured I needed to make an effort.

  “Need any help?” Domer offered from the doorway.

  “Nah, it’s not like there’s a lot of stuff in here.” I eyeballed the room and figured I’d done enough and Marta could finish up. “Anyway, I figured out how I can let Frankie know that it’s not on between us.”

  He looked pretty doubtful. “Oh boy, one of your big ideas. What is it this time?”

  “I’m gonna go out on a date the night she gets here. Then she’ll see that, y’know, that we can go out, but I’m not going out with only her.”

  “Yeah, because telling her that straight up wouldn’t work.” He shook his head at me. “Just man up and tell her the truth – if you even know what the truth is.”

  “I did tell her, but I don’t think she got it. Besides, I don’t like giving bad news to chicks.” I was also worried that talking to Frankie in person would turn out badly. She was this scary combination of smart and hot, and I felt like I might end up engaged if I raised the whole relationship deal again.

  “Are you kidding me? You don’t want to hurt her feelings, so you’re going to go out with someone else in front of her? That’s whacked, even for you.”

  “What? It’s not like we were ever really going out or anything.”

  Domer didn’t say anything and rolled his eyes, which was his way of saying that he disagreed completely. So I kept talking, probably trying to convince myself more than him. “It’ll probably be a big relief for her. Maybe she’s dating other guys already.”

  “Yeah, that’s why she keeps sending you care packages, because she’s busy partying. Whatever Jakester, you made this mess, you can clean it up, but one thing’s for sure: I don’t want to be in the middle of some big fucking drama. If she’s going to be crying on my shoulder while you’re out humping skanks, forget it. I’ll move to Duper’s for good.”

  “Okay, okay, I’ll handle everything,” I reassured him. I felt queasy though. What if Frankie did get all upset and cried? The thought of it made me feel pretty shitty, but not shitty enough that I’d date her just to avoid it.

  “Who you going out with, anyway?” Domer wondered.

  “Remember Aspen? We ran into her at that big charity thing a few weeks ago?”

  “Oh yeah. Tough to forget them,” he snorted.

  Aspen’s most memorable feature was her great rack. Of course she had fake tits, but in L.A. who didn’t? I first met her at a teammate’s wedding a couple of years ago. His bride was a model, and she knew lots of good-looking model/actress types. Aspen wasn’t really too interested in me then, but maybe because I was a bigger deal now, it was a different story. Like every good-looking girl you met in L.A., Aspen was an actress. But she actually got work as an actress, nothing big yet, but she was pretty determined. She also had a part-time job doing sales in an upscale gym.

  After I ran into her again, she ended up inviting me out to some nightclub event. I went with her, we had a good time, and then she took me back to her place afterwards. She was kind of crazy in the sack. But the best thing about Aspen was that she told me her parents were hippies and so she was totally into free love and open relationships. Which meant that unlike chicks who were more old-fashioned, we could get together and there were no strings. I gave her my line about not being into relationships, and she had laughed and said she wasn’t either. So, I figured I could ask her out and not having to worry about her reading too much into it. She was the perfect booty call.

  Frankie was supposed to arrive just after we got home from practice, but I guess her flight was late, so we were home, showered, and still waiting.

  “It’s kind of weird, Frankie shoulda been here by now. Aspen’s going to get here any minute.” What was the point of going out on a date if Frankie wasn’t even going to see it?

  “Well, I’ll be here. If Frankie needs anything, she can ask me. I’ll probably be watching hockey or something.” Domer started
poking around in the fridge. “What have we got for dinner? Did you eat all the leftover pizza?”

  I sighed. I wanted to watch the game too; it was going to be a good one: Chicago and Anaheim. But now I had to go out just to prove a point. I had even arranged for Aspen to pick me up, when I hated her driving, so she’d meet Frankie. I heard a car and looked out the window. It was a taxi arriving, and Frankie stepped out. She looked great. I remembered her theory of dressing up for the plane, which explained why she was wearing a yellow dress, a jacket and high heels. Actually she always wore high heels. Man, I loved high heels. I wondered what lingerie she had on underneath, I’d bet it was pretty.

  Frankie came in, chatting away to the cab driver, who brought all her suitcases inside, something I hadn’t ever seen an L.A. taxi driver do before. She paid him, and he kept smiling happily at her like he was ready to drive her all around Los Angeles next. I shooed him out, and we all sat in the living room.

  She hugged both of us, but she didn’t kiss me or anything. I could tell she was all happy and excited. She was telling us how the pilot left the intercom on and they could hear him describing some kinky stuff he had done for New Year’s, before the flight attendant rushed in and turned it off.

  “So, do you guys have plans for tonight? I would be glad to take you out to dinner, to say thanks for letting me stay here,” Frankie offered with a big smile. She looked so cute and innocent that I had this sinking feeling in my stomach about what was going to happen next.

  Then Aspen walked in. She was wearing a mini-skirt, a see-through top and a coloured bra underneath. She looked tanned and California-hot.

  “Hey Jakey, you ready to go?”

  I nodded, and Aspen walked over and gave me a kiss. I felt kind of ashamed, but when I turned to look Frankie, she didn’t have much of a reaction at all. She smiled and walked over to us.

  “Hi, I’m Frankie,” she said, holding out her hand.

  “Oh hi, nice to meetcha,” Aspen looked puzzled. “What are you doing here? Are you with Luke?”

  “Did Jake not mention it? I’m going to be a roomie here, just for 12 weeks. Jake and I are old buddies from Kingston.” Frankie was smooth as anything, and even I wouldn’t have known that only a couple of months ago we were going at it on the coffee table between us.

  “Oh wow, that’s nice of you, Jakey.” Aspen didn’t seem upset by this. She reached into her purse and pulled out a business card. “Look Frankie, I work at this fantastic gym, if you’re looking for a place to work out while you’re here, I can guarantee that you won’t be disappointed. Call me and I’ll arrange a tour and a free workout.” That was how Aspen made money; she never overlooked an opportunity to flog the gym. Later I’d have to warn Frankie about not signing some expensive contract.

  “Thank you… Aspen,” Frankie said, looking down at the card and smiling. And she kept smiling as we took off.

  When I came home after my date, I could smell something great. I followed my nose to the kitchen where Frankie was leaning on the counter and Domer was sitting on it, they were laughing and talking.

  “So then he says, but not if your dog comes too!” Domer was finishing up some stupid story, and Frankie was giggling away until they both noticed me.

  “Oh hi Jake. How was your date with Vail?” asked Frankie, smiling.

  “It’s Aspen, actually. Fine. What’s been happening here?”

  “Frankie made dinner. Well, I grilled the pork chops and asparagus, but she made this great fruit salsa and yam fries – spicy ones, garlic bread, and dessert. Wow, this cherry cobbler that was amazing!” Domer sounded very excited about a stupid dinner. It sounded like enough food for ten people, but when I looked in the fridge, there was nada.

  “Oh, I think there might still be a piece of cobbler left….” Frankie turned towards a pan on the stove.

  “Actually sorry, it was so good, I ate the last piece,” Domer said, but he didn’t look sorry at all.

  “Oh Luke, you really liked it!” Frankie laughed and smiled at Domer.

  Shit. I liked dessert. Aspen had insisted on going to this raw food place, and I was still hungry. I went to the cupboard and poured myself a bowl of cereal.

  “I thought you and Tahoe went out to dinner.” Was Frankie being a bitch here? I squinted at her and she smiled sweetly back at me.

  “Yeah, well I like a snack at night,” Not so enjoyable when I could still smell a delicious dinner which Frankie and Domer had completely demolished. She started loading stuff into the dishwasher, and Domer hopped off the counter and started helping her. He never usually did dishes unless we had none. After she was done, she excused herself.

  “It’s been a long day. I’m going to unpack and head off to bed.” She turned and left the kitchen, and I watched her. Now she was wearing a short dress that made me think of Hawaii, it swished around her hips as she walked away. I sighed. She still looked hot, but if I was all over her already, I’d be in too deep in no time.

  Domer sat back down across from me. “So, how was your date?”

  “Good.” I ate my cereal.

  “Did you go to her place after?”

  “Naw, she has an audition tomorrow and she wanted to get to bed early.” I kept eating. I could tell he was trying to make conversation, but I wasn’t in the mood.

  “Look Jakester, I’m sorry if you’re pissed. Frankie looked so lonely and then she asked me if I had eaten dinner yet. I drove her around, and we ended up at this little grocery place. Frankie talked to the Hispanic ladies there and got these recipes, then she made this great dinner.” Domer looked all worried that I was mad.

  “It’s not your fault. I went out with Aspen to make a point, but it seems like you guys had a better time than I did. You ate better for sure, I had something weird and green for dinner.” At the raw food place, everything looked like normal food but turned out to be made of crap like sprouts or cardboard.

  “Yeah, Frankie can really cook!” Luke said happily, the cherry cobbler clearly affecting his brain. “I don’t get why you’re being so harsh. She’s so nice, and easy to talk to.”

  I sighed, and he didn’t even know what a tiger she was in the sack. “Okay, I’ll go and check on her, make sure she’s settling in okay.”

  Time to unpack. And think.

  This was like Frankie + Matt, Part Two. What was my problem? I think I’m in a relationship, or even a potential relationship. And I’m not. I wasn’t anything to Jake, and he had made that painfully clear. Sure he was happy to hang out with me, and have sex with me, but I was only Miss October in his girl-a-month calendar.

  How could I have been so stupid? I know he had said he wasn’t into relationships, but that wasn’t the way he acted when we were together. I knew him, I had hung out with him all summer, and once we had sex it seemed like we were getting along better than ever. And then he invited me to stay with him in L.A. I believed that he wanted me to come here, so we could spend more time together.

  Was I the only one who felt that connection between us? There was no way! But the proof right in front of me, that blonde Amazon he went out with tonight. Maybe he was into relationships when the girl was H-O-T: long blonde hair, longer tanned legs, model-tall, totally fit. Fake breasts though, I thought, looking down at my own real ones. Anyway, she was Miss California, and I was not. It was clear that they knew each other well. He didn’t say she was his girlfriend, but everything added up: the way she walked in without knocking, the fact she called him Jakey, and then they took off on my first night here. Not to mention the kiss, what fun it was watching that. Everything spelled out: Sorry Frankie, I can do better.

  I don’t know why I had been so stupid. Jake was this NHL superstar, and I was just a regular person. He could date any number of Hollywood hotties, and why on earth he would chose an art history major with extra junk in the trunk was beyond rational thinking.

  I tried really hard not to think about the great times we’d had and the good times I thought we were going to have.
I didn’t want to spend the first night of my big adventure in tears. I tried to focus on the bright side, Luke was super-nice. I mean, I could tell he was Jake’s good friend, and he would always take Jake’s side, but he was funny and easy to get along with. Jake had already said not to worry about paying rent, but I wanted to chip in and tonight Luke suggested that they would pay the food bills if I did all the cooking. They ate a ton but weren’t great cooks. So that would work out perfectly for me, money-wise.

  Anyway, while I was here, I would concentrate on the internship and getting great work experience. It would be easier to get over Jake now that I got that he was so over me. He had made his choice and he preferred blondes, although he was no gentleman.

  I had to stop unpacking because the number of hangers in the closet was not equal to the number of outfits I had brought. I marked hangers on my list of things I needed to buy. Plus some drawers or bins would be pretty handy. Underneath some slips, I found my Christmas present from Chloë and Bianca. They had specifically said not to open it until I got to L.A. I unwrapped the red and green striped paper and found an absolutely gorgeous little nightgown in black with sheer lace insets and ribbon ties down the side. It looked sexy and glam, and I loved it! There was a note along with it:

  Frankie darling,

  BFF, we want you to have a great time in L.A.! We know you, and we can tell what you really want. So here’s a little something that we guarantee will interest a certain elusive hockey player.

  Seriously Frank, go for it, life’s too short!

  We love you, girl!

  ♥♥Bee & Chlo♥♥

  I laughed out loud, they knew me too well! I shook out the nightgown, looked around and noticed that there wasn’t a mirror in the room either, another thing to add to the list. I couldn’t be rushing to the bathroom every time I needed a mirror. And from the way Jake looked when he left the house, I was pretty sure there was no mirror in the hallway. I stood up and held the nightgown over me, looking down it looked like the perfect size and felt so silky and slinky.