Tudor Rubato

by Jamie Salisbury

  “Perhaps that’s what you need.”

  I tried to ignore his comment and went about steering the boat out a little further so I could unfurl her sails.

  “Amadeus, you can’t keep this up.”

  “Keep what up?” I replied. I had a good idea what he was talking about or what he was going to say next.

  “You can’t blame Zara for what happened to the baby. You have no idea what it was like for her. She watched you come close to dying. She made sure you were brought home and cared for instead of placing you in some rehab center or nursing home. Which, by the way, she could have done and no one would have said otherwise to her. She went to extraordinary lengths to oversee your care and well being, and did it while she was pregnant.”

  “And that’s the point I’ve been trying to make, that no one seems to want to listen to. She was pregnant and she should have put herself and the baby ahead of me. If she had we wouldn’t be having this conversation and she and I wouldn’t be going through this separation. She was selfish, Angus.”

  “You think she was being selfish? Man, you are screwed up.”

  I walked up onto the side of the boat and moved toward the bow, ignoring Angus’ last comment. I knew everyone meant well. I unfurled the main sail along with the jib and let the motorized winch raise them, as I stood watching.

  “Angus,” I yelled back at my brother who was still sitting watching me. “Cut the engine, would you?” I walked back along toward the cockpit, making sure everything was in place as I went. I sat down and took the wheel from Angus. “The wind is perfect today. You ready to do some sailing?”

  ******

  Ten days later I’m met by one of Peter’s crew at the airport in Miami. This leg of Peter’s tour has him back in the U.S. The man is incredible. He seems to tour non-stop. But hey, I did too, and this is a perfect opportunity to get my feet wet again.

  I haven’t spoken with Zara in all this time either. I didn’t need her, along with my family ganging up on me trying to tell me what to do. But with Zara it’s more than that. Peter has two shows and some down time for his crew to enjoy the great south Florida weather.

  Jason shows me to my room after our ride from the airport. He informed me that Peter wanted me to call his room once I got settled.

  It was a typical hotel room. It just happened to be in one of Miami’s nicer ones. Peter usually takes up an entire floor when he stays somewhere with his crew and all. I walked over to where Jason had dropped my bag, picked it up and placed it on the table.

  I knocked on the door to Peter’s suite. Amazingly he actually answered the door himself.

  “Amadeus, come in. It’s great to see you, man.”

  “It’s good to see you too, Peter. It’s been a long time,” I replied. I hadn’t seen Peter since I’d awakened up from my coma.

  Peter grabbed me and we hugged like two brothers would who haven’t seen each other in a long period of time. His suite had a stunning view of South Beach and the water. I hadn’t even bothered to see where my window over looked.

  “You look great Amadeus, given all you’ve been through. How are you feeling?”

  “I feel almost like my old self. I still don’t have all my old stamina or strength back, but that will come with time, working out and stuff.”

  “So how are you doing that? Going to the gym still?”

  “Yeah that, walking and doing some stuff at home.”

  “Come, sit,” he said, as he led us to a group of sofas and chairs by the floor to window ceiling windows. They looked out over the beach. “Can I get you a beer or something?”

  “I’d love a beer, Peter,” I replied sitting down on one of the large white leather sofas. The view was spectacular. “I take it everyone is out enjoying themselves?”

  “Yes. That’s why I decided it would be good to have a couple of days off when we came to Miami. It’s a great, fun town.” He walked over from the bar to join me, handing me a bottle of Guinness as he sat down in the chair next to the sofa I was sitting on.

  “I appreciate you letting me tag along like this Peter. I needed a diversion, and to get away for a while.”

  “No problem, man. I’m not going to lecture you or anything Amadeus about you and Zara. But I think the two of you need to meet up and work on repairing your relationship. You’ve got yourself one hell of a woman there, Amadeus. Don’t blow it.”

  “I’m trying, Peter. I’m just not sure what to do. That’s why I thought if I got away from my family and had no diversions I could sort things out.”

  “When was the last time you talked with her?”

  “About two weeks ago.”

  “You need to call her. Start the conversation, start the healing process. I’ve seen the two of you together Amadeus. You both love each other fiercely.”

  “You’re right, Peter. I do love her something awful. It tears me apart being away from her like this, and how it all started. If I hadn’t been so accusing…”

  “It’s in the past, Amadeus. Don’t look back. Focus on the two of you getting back together. Focus on the future.”

  “I know, I know.”

  “One last thing and then I’ll drop the subject. In my opinion, I think you and Zara need to make a fresh start. Move away from Seattle, and away from all the bad memories. I think it’ll help you both in the healing process.”

  “I’ve thought about that.”

  “Okay, I’m here if you want to talk. Just think about what I’ve said, okay?”

  “Fair enough, Peter.”

  “Call her—today, Amadeus.”

  “Okay,” I replied, chuckling. Peter I know has my best interests at heart. Zara’s too. He’s like another older brother in a way.

  Later that evening, after having dinner with Peter in his suite, I came back to my room and sat on the bed. He was right. I needed to call Zara and at least let her know I’m willing to start talking.

  I fumbled around and got my phone out of my pocket. I don’t know where she is, so I’ll just call her. I punched in her number and waited.

  “Hello? Amadeus, is that you?”

  “Yeah, baby, it’s me. Did I wake you?”

  “It doesn’t matter. I’m so glad you called. I’ve missed not hearing your voice.”

  “Me too. I miss you Zara.”

  “I miss you too, Amadeus. Where are you, what have you been doing?

  “I’m in Miami. I just got here today. I’m with Peter and his tour. I don’t know for how long.”

  “Be sure to send Peter my love, would you?”

  “Of course. Zara…”

  “What Amadeus? What is it?”

  “Can we talk? It doesn’t have to be right now. I want to talk baby. I hate all this. I want us back together.”

  Oh God, I hope she’s not starting to cry. I hate it when she cries. She’s been over the top emotional since all this started.

  “Yes, I’d like that very much. We could start now, if you’d like. I’d like nothing more.”

  “We could. It’s late…okay. Zara tell me where you are, please?”

  “I’m in Great Britain, England right now,” she replied. “I started up in Scotland and decided to embark on a castle tour. You know how I love historic stuff like that. It’s not much fun without you though.”

  “We’ll do it together, I promise. Zara, how would you feel if we moved out of Seattle and started fresh somewhere else? At least for a while.”

  “I think that’s a good idea. We have a lot of unhappy memories there right now. I think it would be good for us to start fresh. Have you somewhere in mind?”

  “Naw. But we could do southern California. We had some good times there, baby. I’d even be up to talking about somewhere overseas like England. Peter mentioned the farm he has in Scotland—I don’t care where we go, just as long as we’re together.”

  “So what’s the next step, Amadeus?”

  “I’m not sure. Why don’t we think about it over night and talk tomorrow. Why don’t y
ou do this: between now and then, think about meeting me here on the road with Peter. Finish your castle tour, then meet up with me. We’ll talk and go out to L.A. if that’s where we decide we want to move and find us a house.”

  “I love you Amadeus. That sounds like a wonderful plan, and we’ll talk tomorrow. Why don’t you plan on calling me after you get up.”

  “I love you too, baby. I’m sorry I was such an ass.”

  “Yes, you were, but I forgive you. We both said some harsh things and acted foolishly. Let’s put it behind us and move forward. I’ll be waiting for your call.”

  “Okay babe. You sleep well and I’ll talk to you tomorrow. I love you, girl.”

  “I love you. Sweet dreams Amadeus.”

  I pressed the end button and held on to the phone. I caught myself smiling at the thought of our conversation. For the first time in over a month the two of us actually spoke like we used to. No biting remarks, no accusations, no bitterness. Yes, it was time to put the past in the past and move into a new phase of our lives.

  Chapter Two

  I had fallen asleep after my conversation with Amadeus the previous night. There had been no problem falling asleep this time. I felt as though a weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

  My mind was racing with thoughts as I got on the road once more. I sipped on a cup of tea I had picked up. It was cooling off, but that did not matter. I have about a two hour trip until I reach my next castle. There is about a week left on my castle tour. Amadeus didn’t seem to mind the idea, in fact last night he was encouraging me to finish this trip.

  I wonder if he’d really like living on Peter’s Scottish farm? There is time to discuss all of that. The important thing is to keep us both on track. I need to find out the itinerary—of where Peter’s tour will be headed after Miami.

  Just as I am headed down the road on the way to my next castle, my phone rings. It’s Amadeus.

  “Hi baby,” I answered, as I waited to hear his voice.

  “Hi Zara, how are you doing, sweetheart?”

  “I’m much better now that we’ve talked. I actually slept halfway decent last night after we hung up.”

  “Me too. Are you where you can talk? You’re not driving are you?”

  “I’ve just arrived at my next castle. Let me park and then we’ll talk.”

  I drove down the narrow road until I found a place I could pull off and park. I wanted to get some photos before I got any closer and this would be perfect.

  “Okay, I’m parked now.”

  “Good,” he replied. “How much more time on your castle tour, babe?”

  “I have another five days.”

  “Hmmm,” he replied. “Then give you what another day or two to get out of London?”

  “Yes, I’m scheduled to leave London in seven days.”

  “Okay, that would put us in New York City. That’ll be perfect Zara. We could meet at your apartment.”

  “Yes, that would be perfect. How many days will he be there?”

  “It looks like three days are marked on the itinerary. But Zara, I’m not planning on continuing on after New York. I’m planning on you and me making plans of our own.”

  We continued talking, laughing and excitedly making preparations to meet for the first time since that fateful day in the therapist's office.

  “I hate to end this, baby, but I need to go. The signal isn’t great out here. How about if I call you back when I get settled in for the evening?”

  “That sounds like a plan love. You go finish your castle tour. I know how you love them. I’ll talk to you a little later,” he replied. “And Zara?”

  “Yes?”

  “I love you girl. I can’t wait to show you. I miss our closeness.”

  “So do I. I’ll talk to you in a while. I love you, baby.”

  “Bye, Zara.”

  “Bye.”

  ******

  I was at Windsor Castle, the last on my self-made castle tour when I got a phone call that shook me to the core. Joe Franco, one of the detectives on Amadeus’ case telephone number now stared up at me from my phone.

  “Detective Franco, hello. This certainly is a surprise. I haven’t heard from you in ages. Has something new come up?”

  “I apologize Zara, but until recently there hasn’t been anything.”

  “Then something has developed?”

  “Yes,” he replied. “Where are you? Would it be possible to meet?”

  “Unfortunately, I’m in England at the moment.”

  “Well, I’m in New York about to board a plane for London, Zara.”

  “You’re what? What’s going on detective? Is Amadeus alright? Is he safe?”

  “Zara, Amadeus is fine. He’s on tour with Peter McNichol, I know that much. This is something I need to talk to you face to face about. Look, they’re calling my flight. I’ll call you as soon as I land in London.”

  “Okay, I’ll be waiting to hear from you.”

  “And Zara? Please don’t mention our conversation to Amadeus should you talk to him. Not yet. Okay?”

  “Anything you say, detective. I’ll be waiting for you in London.”

  I thought the time couldn’t pass quick enough. By the time I heard from detective Franco the following morning, I was all but going out of my mind with worry, fear, any emotion possible.

  When he did call we agreed to meet at a local Scotland Yard office. I thought that rather curious, but didn’t object, thinking it might be protocol or something.

  He met me and escorted me into a small office. He opened his briefcase which was filled with files and papers. I was more than curious now. But what he would tell me was unsettling and something I was unprepared for.

  About an hour into our conversation, he changed his direction, startling me.

  “What can you tell me about Amadeus’ brother Angus? What’s he like?”

  “Angus?” I replied, eyeing the detective quite studiously. An odd question since I knew he had met everyone in the family on more than one occasion. “Angus? Well he’s like a middle child. Always wants to be the center of attention. He’s a bit wild and reckless sometimes. Always on the go-an adrenaline junkie I suppose. Why?”

  Instead of answering my question, he asked me another.

  “Do you think he’s jealous of Amadeus’ success?”

  “Hmmm, come to think of it I suppose he might be a little jealous. Amadeus has been far more successful than he has.”

  “How’s that? Can you give me an example?”

  “Well, I know when he found out Amadeus was handpicked by Peter McNichol to perform at his annual Christmas charity event he voiced a bit of envy. Oh and when we told him we had been invited to Peter’s farm outside London…”

  The detective rifled through his papers absentmindedly for a few seconds. Then it dawned on me.

  “You don’t think Angus was involved with Amadeus’ overdose or any of the other things, do you?”

  He didn’t need to answer. I could tell by his body language he did.

  “We have good reason to believe that yes, your brother-in-law may have been involved. In fact he may have masterminded the entire thing.”

  “But why? What would he gain from it? He certainly wouldn’t benefit financially.”

  “No, but with Damien no longer touring or recording and Amadeus out of the way, that would leave everything wide open for Angus. He would be the last of the three famous Tudor brothers, and he could cash in on that.”

  “Oh crap. It would make him the center of attention, just like he’s always wanted. He’s always had a backseat to Damien and Amadeus’ fame. He and his band have been good, but not as good as his brothers. I would have never…”

  “Zara, what I need for you to do for us is to be our eyes and ears on the inside. Can you do that for us?”

  “Yes I can. But you are aware that Amadeus and I have been separated, although we are talking and are going to meet up in New York. Oh shit…”

  “What? What
is it Zara?”

  “I’m going to miss my flight back to New York. I don’t know how he’s going to take to that.”

  “We’ll figure something out for you to tell him. And yes, we’re aware the two of you have been having some marital difficulties. But that aside, are you onboard?”

  I nodded my head. Of course I would, I had to in order to end this nightmare.

  “Good. We’ll be in touch with you as discreetly as possible. For now I think keeping Amadeus out of the loop is best. He has enough to deal with without having to work through the fact that his brother isn’t who he thinks he is.”

  Chapter Three

  The phone call everyone dreads to get. That one, the one you receive in the middle of the night, telling you a loved one has died. And it’s always the last person you’d expect. This one was about my dear father-in-law, William Tudor.

  I was jerked awake by the sound of the phone. I rolled on my side and stared bleary eyed at the clock as I turned on the bedside lamp. It was almost four in the morning I noted as I picked up the cordless phone, looking at the caller ID. It was Amadeus.

  After our messed up and failed attempt to meet up in New York City, what progress had been made at reconciling was stalled out. But it couldn’t be avoided, not on my end. At least we were still talking. I picked up the phone and punched the button.

  “Hi, baby. What’s up?”

  “Zara…” he choked out. “It’s Dad…”

  I could hear the pain in his voice and recognized immediately something awful had happened.

  “What about your Dad?”

  “He’s gone Zara!”

  Oh my God! Not William!

  “Oh baby, I’m so sorry. Where are you? I’ll catch the first flight to Seattle I can get.”

  “I’m in Baltimore. Peter is going to fly us out to Seattle on one of his jets. A car will pick you up in two hours to take you to the airport, okay?”