Everyone laughed at the stern look and sharp tone. “I will. Thank you.”
“Good,” Trisha smiled then. “You two take care of each other.”
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Summer was finally upon them, bringing warm weather, plans for family vacations and a chance to unwind without the feeling of hundreds of prying eyes everyone Gemma went.
June turned into July, and with it came a humid warmth – though not nearly as humid as Austin would be – that seemed to blanket Thornton and surrounding areas. The monsoon season was kicking off early meaning thunder and lightning storms, with the possibility of tornadoes.
The Wade’s held a Fourth of July barbeque and given where their property lie, everyone was able to see the rec center’s fireworks display. Many of the usual suspects were in attendance, as well as some other families, including the Scotts, with Jake attached to Trisha; Lisa and her family; Becky and her parents; and Maggie, Stu and their families. Tony Castens was strictly forbidden from attending until Tony, as Lisa put it, “Got his thick skull out of his ass and started treating her better.”
But his family had been welcomed too and did in fact show up, sans Tony, much to Mrs. Castens’s amusement. She liked Lisa and liked that Lisa made Tony less like a teenaged boy and more like the man she hoped he could be.
It was a great afternoon of good food, good company, and relaxation from the stresses that had seemed to take over two of the families of Wade and Grady.
And then of course, there was watching Trent, Josh, Jake, Stu and occasionally Elliot - when he could be pulled away from Gemma - toss a football around the backyard. Even Dalton and Andrew got in on the action. By then Trent decided they could play a real game with Elliot - when he could be pulled away from Gemma - playing quarterback for both teams. He always had the best arm out of all of them and Trent continued to lament the fact that Elliot enjoyed arts more than sports.
“We could have really used you this last season, man. We were so close to winning but nooo, Elliot won’t play.” There was immense laughter throughout each of Trent’s tantrums.
It was a lot of fun, with a lot of sweating and panting, and good-natured ribbing. It was during this time that Christie made her first appearance of the day. And for the first time since that fateful January morning when Gemma’s secret was nearly exposed, Christie spoke to Gemma.
The heat was unbearable, so Gemma had opted to wear shorts and a blue tank top, a fact that meant Elliot couldn’t take his eyes off of her and the extra skin she was showing, though Gemma tried to pretend to be blissfully oblivious. She was sitting in the lounge chair they had been sharing, laughing at the way her boyfriend purposefully tried to hit Trent on the head with the football, when Christie approached.
“Hi, Gemma,” Christie’s small voice said as she stood beside the lounger.
Looking up and feeling a moment of shock, Gemma saw her old friend standing beside her. She was paler than any time Gemma could remember, and looked almost hollowed out, as though she were just a shell of a person. “Hello, Christie.”
Everything seemed to go quiet in that moment. Gemma could no longer hear the guys playing, could no longer hear the food still cooking on the grill or anyone else speaking. All she could hear was the space between herself and Christie. It was vast and screeching and sad.
“Can we… would you be willing to talk to me for a bit?” Christie finally asked after an immeasurable amount of time had passed. Gemma looked over toward Elliot, who she saw watching her with an uncertain look on his face. He had stopped passing the ball, and that made everyone take notice. Christie must have looked too. “I won’t keep you long. I promise.”
Taking in a deep breath, and smiling to reassure Elliot, Gemma looked back at Christie. “Okay, yeah. Lead the way.”
“It’ll be okay, son,” Dalton approached Elliot and patted him on the shoulder.
“I know,” was all Elliot said as Gemma disappeared inside the house with Christie.
The girls went right to Christie’s room, with Christie closing the door as soon as they were inside. It wasn’t necessary. No one was going to bother them. Everyone at the barbeque, whether they knew everything or not, knew something had happened between the two friends, and that this meeting was important. No one was going to mess that up.
“I almost feel like I don’t know what to say,” Christie began without any waiting, just as Gemma took a seat in the office chair. “I mean I know what I need to say, but… it almost doesn’t feel important enough.” Gemma looked at Christie as she continued, but remained quietly sitting at Christie’s desk. Whatever Christie had asked to speak to her about, she wouldn’t contribute or force. It was on that thought Christie started speaking again. “I miss my friend. And I know I’m the one to blame for the chasm that has formed between us. I know that this whole thing is my fault, that without my selfish stupidity, I wouldn’t be missing you. But I do.”
Gemma looked at her hands, finding her fingers toying the hem of her shirt. Those words gutted her deeply. “I miss my friend, too.”
“I am so sorry for the way I’ve behaved. There is no excuse for any of it. Not a learning disability, because being dyslexic did not make me selfish. Penny and Cassie are long gone, and I haven’t heard from either of them for months now, so I can’t even blame an excuse as weak as their peer pressure.” Christie was pacing in front of her pink, four-poster canopy bed. “The only thing I can say is I’m a very jealous person.”
“What are you jealous of, Christie?” Gemma finally asked because she couldn’t figure out anything Christie would need to feel jealous over.
Christie just sighed. “So many… stupid things,” she began. “I’ve said this before, but it bears repeating. We were friends first. Before you ever became friends with my brother, you were my friend. Even if he says you two became friends in that class you had. And I know I’m talking only a couple of hours here, but it was significant to me because I haven’t always made friends easily and I’m sure it’s my personality at play for that, but still, you were my friend instantly. And then you started hanging out with Elliot all the time, I felt like I wasn’t number one anymore.”
“What are you talking about?” Gemma asked in shock. “You have Josh! I was really only hanging out with Elliot so much at the beginning because you were off with Josh so much. And I know Elliot was only hanging out with me so much because Josh was off with you.” Gemma felt flabbergasted. There were so many times she and Christie were supposed to go see a movie at the Fairview, or go shopping, even though Gemma actually couldn’t stand shopping, but Christie canceled because she hung out with Josh instead. But not once did Gemma ever feel slighted. If anything, she was the envious one, hoping to one day have that person who held your attention so fiercely that the rest of everything just faded away. It was fortuitous that she and Elliot had so much in common. They were thrown together by circumstance, and a wonderful friendship and eventual relationship was formed from it. “Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy Elliot’s company immensely, but he and I didn’t become the friends we are because I was trying to move on from you or didn’t want to hang out with you. I became such good friends with Elliot because we both just happened to be in the same situation.”
“I know! I know that, I do,” Christie chimed in. “Elliot has said the same thing to me. I guess I just didn’t want to know it. I guess I just wanted to be so important that everyone put their lives on hold for me, even when I wasn’t doing the same for them.”
A frown took to Gemma’s face. She didn’t really know what to say to that. “But?” she asked, hopeful there was one.
“But I realized the only one I was that important to was me. And that no one should wait for me.” She finally sat down, pushing the canopy back on her bed. “Josh isn’t wallowing, waiting around for me to get over myself. Once everything happened this year, he stopped making me a priority and focused solely on himself and other friends. I mean we’ve hardly spoken at all these last few months
, and I heard he even asked that Rita chick out to a movie before school ended.” She looked devastated at this point, but Gemma wasn’t giving in because Christie had brought this one herself. While it was true, Josh had gone out with someone else, he hadn’t moved on and Rita knew it. She had told him once she realised what was going on that it was just a couple of friends hanging out and there was no pressure. But Gemma wouldn’t tell Christie that. She hadn’t earned that knowledge yet. “And in a short amount of time, you and Elliot became inseparable.
“I allowed my entitlement issues to cloud reality. I allowed my ego to get mad at the loss of attention because I wanted it even if I wouldn’t’ return it,” Christie finally said.
“You know, I never judged for doing your own thing. And until Penny and Cassie, I didn’t know you were judging me for it,” Gemma admitted and realized it was true. Christie had judged her and pretended to her face.
“I didn’t mean to, but like I said, I wanted to be the center of attention.”
“So what happened? Huh? What happened that you couldn’t talk to me sooner?” Gemma had to hold back the anger in her tone. She didn’t want to fight with Christie. She didn’t want her day ruined. Watching the people she loved and cared for having fun was so important to her after the last several months, and she didn’t want to lose that “high” from the enjoyment she was feeling.
Looking down, Christie sighed heavily. “After everything happened in January, I thought you would rush to tell me everything that had happened. As soon as you guys were done in the office, I just knew you’d need someone. I thought, well, I’m her best friend, and something monumental has occurred, of course Gemma is going to want to talk to someone about it. I thought you’d want someone to confide in. But instead, you didn’t say anything to me. You didn’t tell me what happened, what really happened, or allow me to get you through it. I felt gipped out of everything. Everyone knows everything but me.”
Gemma couldn’t help it, she laughed. “Do you know how ridiculous that sounds? Seriously, Christie. You wanted to be a part of my pain, you wanted to know it?”
“I wanted you to trust me enough to tell me about it. But I still only know a small percentage of the truth and I know even Trisha Scott, of all people, knows everything! I mean really, Gemma? Trisha? The girl my brother is obviously so head over stupid for and you trust her above me? That’s not uncomfortable, like, at all?”
“And then what? Huh?” Gemma asked, letting her anger finally seep through and ignoring the jab about Trisha. She wasn’t going to waste her breath on that one. Christie didn’t know anything of the truth anyhow. “This thing that happened to me, it was the night of Homecoming. In October. Of last year. It wasn’t the weekend before, or a few days before. It was months before. It happened and in the middle of your brother trying to understand and comprehend it, because he is a victim in this too, you berated him, called him names, and then turned around and called me names. Yes, I saw the texts you sent Leigh calling me a pathetic loser.” She was on a roll now. And it felt good to finally get it all out. While she may have “forgiven” Christie during Thanksgiving, she hadn’t really dealt with or gotten over the betrayal she’d been dealt by her so-called friend. There had been too much on her mind at that time. And it was all coming to a head now.
“By the time you found out what you had, we hadn’t been speaking at all. So you’re idea of me wanting to take it up with my best friend? To have that support? I already had. Only that person was your brother, because he gave a damn.” She could feel her face heat up with her anger, feel it hotter than the July heat had made it. “I was already seeing a therapist, so the two bitches weren’t wrong about that, though they never did find out why. And so by the time you heard something, I was trying to heal. Why would I want to revisit it and bring myself down again just because you felt left out?”
“Because we’re supposed to be friends! Friends tell each other things.” Christie cried.
“Friends,” Gemma scoffed with a shake of her head. “Christie, if we were really the friends we once were, you would have noticed something was wrong with me. I mean I was out of school for how long and not once did you call or try to visit to see if I was okay. No, instead you planned vandalism and bullying with Penny and Cassie. Instead you talked bad about me behind my back when I didn’t respond to your texts right away. Which you managed to make about you!” Gemma ran a hand over her face, done with this conversation. “If you were really the friend I met last spring, your brother would not have suffered alone either. But instead,” she sighed, the steam running out of her body. “Instead, he had to start seeing a therapist too, because the things he saw, the things he lived through were too much for him and I couldn’t help him while trying to help myself. His sister, the one person he was closest to in the world, if she were the person I thought she was, she would have seen past her own reflection to know her brother was suffering. But she didn’t because she’s not there anymore. So he hid everything, and so did I. And Trisha knows because… because she saw what my best friend wouldn’t take the time to see.”
Tears streamed down Christie’s face, and her breathing was hitched. “We’re not gonna be okay, are we?”
Gemma shrugged. She didn’t have the answer to that question because it wasn’t up to her. “I don’t know. I’m not the one who changed to please other people. I’m not the one who turned my back on those that gave me everything and then some and then acted like it wasn’t enough.”
“What do I have to do?”
“I would say if I have to tell you, it won’t be sincere. But I know that is pointless.” She thought for a moment, and shrugged again. “If you want things to be better, the first thing you have to do is fix your relationship not only with your parents, because you have put them through so much for no good reason at all, but you need to fix things with Elliot. He loves you so very much. And you have hurt him so very badly. Once I see that happen, then I’ll know you mean what you say. Once I see that happen, I’ll know you really are that sweet girl I met last spring who became my friend instantly. And Josh will probably start coming around more, too. But you still have a long way to go.”
After a half an hour had passed of Gemma being with Christie, Elliot was too distracted to play quarterback anymore. He tossed Trent the ball, allowing the six to play three on three, while he went into the house to wait. No one stopped him. There’d be no point.
Another half an hour passed before Gemma finally emerged down the stairs. Her face was slightly flushed, her eyes downcast. He was at her side in seconds.
“Gemma? Are you okay?”
She nodded at him, looking into his green eyes to ground her. “Yeah, yeah I’m okay.”
“How’d uh, how’d your talk go?” he asked, rubbing the back of his neck nervously.
“I don’t know. Okay, I guess. Tense, awkward, angry, confusing,” she answered quietly. Looking at him finally, the tension in her shoulders lessened. “I said a lot of things I didn’t even know I was feeling until they were leaving my lips.”
Elliot can’t help but quirk an eyebrow. “Yeah? Like what?”
Looking back toward the stairs, Gemma sighed. “I just told her I can’t be friends with someone who doesn’t care that they’ve hurt people. And until that changes, or until she realizes what she has to do to not be that person anymore, I told her I think it’s best if we keep our distance.”
“That must have been very hard on you,” Elliot commented sympathetically. Of everything Gemma had been through, he knew that dealing with Christie was probably the most heart wrenching. He finally understood why Gemma was so at ease being around Trisha after everything. She needed female support, and while Leigh was amazingly supportive, sometimes a girl needs her girl friends too. And Christie had taken that away from her.
“Yeah. I mean, she wants to know what happened. She’s upset she wasn’t included in finding everything out and is pissed Trisha knows and how could I trust her after everything with you.
That was the biggest. She can’t see past herself still.” Her chest hurt from the strain of being on the outs with her best friend. “But I can’t tell her, Elliot. I can’t tell Christie what happened to me.”
“I know you can’t.”
“She hasn’t earned it, you know? Maybe the Christie I knew before school started up again would have found out, would have been supportive, but not this Christie,” Gemma choked out. “This Christie doesn’t like being excluded for how it affects her. I mean she didn’t even bother to make sure I was okay when I was out of school after. And you, the things she said to you after… after what happened? This Christie doesn’t care who she hurts. I want the Christie who would have noticed something was wrong. I want the Christie who would have seen instantly something is wrong with her brother because they’re that close. I want my Christie back.”
She broke into sobs leaning into Elliot as he wrapped his arms around her trying to soothe. He felt her pain because it was his pain to. And not just because of what had happened to her. Christie was his sister. She was his first friend, his friend confidante. He was heartbroken that the Christie of the last several months wasn’t who she’d always been. He hoped she listened to the words-whatever they were-that Gemma had said to her, took them to heart, and applied them to her life.
He hoped so desperately because he wanted his Christie back too.
The day turned into night, and Christie never returned to the barbeque. Grace had attempted to rouse her back, but those in the know figured it was for the best that she stay away. Grace did bring her a plate of food though, saying she was doing some contemplating.
As the fireworks flashed across the sky, Elliot held Gemma from behind, his chin resting on her shoulder as she gripped his arms. “Happy Fourth of July,” he whispered in her ear.
“Happy Fourth of July,” she murmured back. Angling her body she looked back at him with an easy smile. “I love you, Elliot. Thank you for being you.”
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