He couldn’t help it, he smiled back goofily, his chest expanding with emotion. “I love you too, Gemma. And thank you.” At her confused expression, he continued. “Thank you for loving me.”
She giggled softly. “No reason to thank me. It’s easy to do.”
LtB
Before anyone was ready for it, summer was ending, and that meant Leigh, Trent, Trisha and Jake were moving away.
To move Leigh (and Trent by extension) down to Tennessee, Gemma was going to be traveling with her parents for three days toward the end of August. She was excited and petrified all at once. On one hand, while she’d been to Disney World as a child, and the flight stopped in Nashville, she’d never officially been to Tennessee, and was looking forward to seeing more of the country besides just an airport. But on the other hand, this trip meant her sister was moving away. And on top of that, her sister was moving to a place where her attackers had attacked. To say at this moment the cons outweighed the pros in her mind, would be an understatement.
And that didn’t even take into account the fact that she was going to be away from Elliot for the first time for longer than a night since she was attacked ten months earlier.
It was taking everything in her to figure out a way to adjust to that security being stripped away.
“Everything is going to be okay. You know that right?” They were sitting at their park, watching butterflies flutter about the flowers. Occasionally, a humming bird would appear as if by magic. A new playground was being built which made them wonder how long the serenity of their escape would last before kids and other people shattered it. But even that didn’t help take away from the mood they found themselves in.
She was leaving tomorrow and they’d decided to spend one more afternoon together to calm her nerves.
“I know. I just,” she sighed heavily, trying to find a way to articulate her thoughts. “I’m so worried about those guys. It’s been months since we’ve heard anything, even with Leigh threatening to call every five seconds, and dad actually calling Agent Ramirez constantly. But there have been no new leads, thankfully no new or known of attacks, but I wish I knew something more than nothing.” She slouched against his chest, her body cradled between his legs. She’d been getting more and more comfortable with being close to him like this as the days went on. Even when he unintentionally became excited by her proximity, the idea didn’t frighten her like it once might have. She knew, being a male and a teenaged one at that, that Elliot was nearing sainthood for being so considerate of her limitations.
Every other couple she could think of, long before they reached eight months together, had done more than hold hands, kiss occasionally, and just be near their partner. Many of them had moved on to more… physical aspects of affection. She knew for a fact that even Maggie Blake, the good Christian girl she was, had lost her virginity already to boyfriend, Stu, not long after summer started. But not her. No, she still had yet to fully get passed that mental block that made sex and intimacy a terrifying concept.
She was working on it with Dr. Archuleta, though it was mildly embarrassing and had included a drastic bout of tears when she considered she wasn’t a virgin anymore after all. She realized she was tainted, and that anything pure she would want to experience with Elliot was lost to that fateful homecoming night. Of course, Dr. Archuleta told her that wasn’t true. Because Gemma had not willingly offered her body to another, but rather had her virtue taken by force, her virginity was still hers to give.
Gemma thought the good doctor was reaching, seeing as the point of a girl’s virginity included the breaking (or stretching as it were) of the hymen, and the force used on her had pretty much taken care of that. But Dr. Archuleta would not be dissuaded, so much so that she told Gemma some girls don’t even go through the typical response to losing one’s virginity therefore the hymen means little. After a lengthy discussion on the idea of Gemma offering herself freely, they came to an uneasy agreement, but it pacified her for the time being. Especially when she was instructed to speak to Elliot about that very thing. It was his perspective that helped change her own.
Turns out, he didn’t see her as damaged or impure. If anything, he believed she was more pure by the mere fact she’d survived such an ordeal and had the strength to speak with him about it. Regardless of how difficult or embarrassing it may have been.
“You can have any girl. Why me?” Gemma asks one July afternoon as they sit in his family’s kitchen. It’s only been a week since the Independence Day barbeque, and emotions are still running a little high from the encounter with Christie.
“Because I don’t love any other girl. I don’t want anyone else.”
She smiles at this, even in its ridiculousness since she knows once upon a time that wasn’t true. It is now, but it wasn’t always so and Christie’s words still sting. “But, you’re a sixteen year old male. I know,” she stops as her cheeks warm. This is such an uncomfortable conversation to have, but she knows Dr. Archuleta is going to want a report, if not a play by play. “I know that you… want things. I know you want things I can’t give you yet.”
“What are you talking about?” Elliot asks as they sit at the counter. His mom has run to the store taking Christie with her to give the two some privacy. She’s planning to make one of Caroline’s dishes tonight. Everyone is worried since the last one came out burnt.
Huffing, Gemma grabs a lock of hair and tugs to keep her attention on that rather than the conversation at hand. “I mean, you know, with sex,” she barely whispers. The look on Elliot’s face is comical. The color drains and his eyes widen. He stutters and she marches on. “I mean I know it’s something people think about. And I can’t give that too you. Yet.”
Lifting her hand to his mouth, Elliot brushes his lips against the back, attempting to keep himself from looking like an idiot. “Gemma, first off, I hope you don’t think I’m pressuring you for anything. Because that is not my intention in any way, shape or form. Second, wow, okay, we’re really having this talk right now,” he mumbles while pulling on his hair, before diving right back in. After all, he didn’t even know she had been thinking about this. “Redo. Second, yes, I want nothing more to be with you, completely.” Placing a hand under her chin, he brings her eyes back to his. Hers are watery, uncertain. “I love you so very much. And when the time is right, when the time is right for both of us, we will be together. And it won’t just be sex because I know anything I do with you will be us making love.”
“I wish I was ready now,” she breathes, no longer embarrassed, but instead sad. She wonders if she would have been ready if not for her attack. But then those thoughts lead her to whether she’d even be with Elliot, if he really knows for certain he’d like her after liking Trisha or if she’d stay stuck as his friend, so she doesn’t let those thoughts form too far. “I love you too. And I want to show you.”
“You do. But like I said, when the time comes and we’re both ready, it’ll be beautiful.” His smile makes her smile. And then he says this: “And just so you know, we were meant for each other. Regardless of how it came to be, we were meant to be.”
It was like he has read her mind.
She hadn’t thought about how Elliot felt in regards to sex because all she could see was a teenaged male. And in her short experience dealing with teenaged males, as well as the knowledge gained from books, movies and television, she figured Elliot wouldn’t be much different. But after that conversation with him, Gemma felt relieved. Yes, Elliot was your typical teenaged boy, as evident by his body reacting outside his control, but he was also so much more than that because of what happened to her. He also needed guidance from Dr. Archuleta in regards to how to approach sex whenever the time arrived. Because like he’d said, they both had to be ready.
“I wish we knew something too.”
Pulled from her memories, Gemma sat up to turn and face him as a new thought popped into her head, one that put her heart into a panic. “The scariest part, they hurt a girl rig
ht where Leigh is going! What if they find her, what if they hurt her too?”
“Shh, shh, shh,” Elliot tried to soothe. “I know. I’m worried too. But baby, you can’t think that way. Leigh isn’t going to let anyone hurt her. And Trent isn’t going to let her out of his sight, not now especially. You know, if the FBI hasn’t already, your dad has probably even contacted the local police force to keep an extra watch on her. She’ll be on protection overload.”
“I just feel horrible about this because she’s so excited to go to college. And there is so much she wants to do.” Shaking her head, Gemma’s shoulders sagged. “Before everything happened, I was excited for her. Now I’m just terrified.”
“It’s understandable. And I think seeing the college, seeing where she’ll be living will help you out. Maybe then you’ll be able to relax a little, you know?” Gemma nodded and Elliot smiled softly. “I’m gonna miss you like crazy though. Even though it’ll only be three days.”
“I’m gonna miss you too.”
LtB
Elliot was at Gemma’s house first thing the morning of the 23rd. The flight was leaving at one that afternoon, and the Grady’s had never flown out of DIA before, so they wanted to leave extra early, so as not to get lost. Andrew just laughed at Elliot as he stood at the door, the sun only having been up for a short while. He took the ribbing good-naturedly, seeing as his dad always liked to comment how he remembered being young and experiencing new love.
“She’s up in her room if you want to help her and Leigh carry some stuff down,” Andrew laughed as he let Elliot into the house. Thankfully, most of the stuff Leighanna intended to take, they’d shipped ahead of them so that they wouldn’t have to move so much and rent a truck. And Leighanna had a lot of stuff she wanted to take too.
As soon as Elliot walked into Gemma’s room, they entered into the movie cliché moment where he couldn’t help but rush to her just as she rushed to him. They came together instantly, holding one another as though this was the last time they would ever see one another.
“You two are completely ridiculous,” Leighanna commented dryly as she walked into Gemma’s room and around the couple still clutching to each other. “I’m gonna leave these tops for you to wear. I think they’ll look better on you and dad won’t let me take anything else.”
With a watery laugh, Gemma pulled away from Elliot to look at the deposit of clothes. Some still had tags on them. Leigh would never admit it, but she was such a fashion snob and sometimes would buy clothes because they were “in” and then not like them at all and refuse to wear them. In the end though, it just meant Gemma didn’t have to go shopping all that much, one of her least favorite activities. “Uh, thanks.”
“No problem,” Leigh smiled. “Elliot, can you help me carry some stuff?” She left without waiting for him to answer. And it made the two laugh. Leigh knew if she didn’t ask or demand, they’d probably still be clinging to one another long after it was time to leave.
As the car drove away, Gemma held to Leighanna’s hand as she watched Elliot’s form get smaller and smaller until she couldn’t see him any longer. “It’s only three days, Gem. And not even. I mean, it’s Friday, you’ll be back Sunday night and we both know he’ll be here when you get back.”
“I know,” Gemma said, sitting right in her seat to stare out the window. “I just feel… twitchy being away from him. I know it sounds stupid, but well, yeah.”
“It’s not stupid. You guys have a special bond, nothing stupid about it,” Leigh smiled before closing her eyes for the short drive ahead.
Gemma called Elliot on the ride from where they’d parked. She called him while waiting at the airport and they talked until just before her flight took off. She called him when her flight landed. She turned her phone off in Chattanooga to save the battery until they got to the hotel, where she text him to let him know they’d arrived, and she’d call him before she went to bed. Besides, she knew if she kept it on, she’d be on it talking to Elliot the whole time. And Gemma didn’t want to miss any time she had left with her sister.
Their first order of business after checking in to the hotel, was to meet up with Trent and his family. The Davies had opted to drive so that Trent would have his car with him at school while Leigh was still undecided if she wanted hers there yet. Once the two families met up, they headed over to the dormitories to get the two checked in. They would be located in the Stagmaier Hall apartments on the north side of campus. Once Leigh and Trent had their room assignments, everyone decided it would just be easier to get dinner and start moving the kids in over the weekend.
For Gemma, the next couple days passed by in a whirlwind of boxes, trunks and clothes. She barely had time to breathe for as much stuff as Leigh had brought with her. She appreciated it because it made missing Elliot less painful.
But for Elliot, the three days passed excruciatingly slowly that he thought he was going to lose his mind.
Because of the hour time difference, when Gemma was heading to bed at eleven, it was only ten for him, so he was left with hours to spend before sleep claimed him. The only thing Elliot could think was to call Josh and see if his old friend wanted to hang out. Fortunately Christie was away at one of her volunteer projects to make things less awkward. Not that her absence didn’t create its own presence.
“How are things going between you and Christie?” Elliot asked as they played Call of Duty Saturday afternoon. It wasn’t a question Elliot would have ever cared to ask before, but he wanted to know if his sister was really a lost cause and how she was with Josh would tell him everything.
Shaking his head, while keeping his eyes on the television, Josh sighed. “I don’t know, man. One minute I think we’re making progress and the next, I think she might be bipolar.” That wasn’t anything new to Elliot. He’d overheard his parents discussing that very thing. Except from everything Elliot had looked up about the illness, Christie was just selfish, not sick. Then again, he wasn’t a doctor. “She found out about me and Rita going out the one time and flipped out about it. Course it happened at the beginning of the summer and she’s since apologized to Rita for being presumptuous, but still. What was I supposed to do? Wait around forever for her to get her shit together when there’s no guarantee? Rita and I are not meant to be, and it was too soon anyhow to try to start seeing someone else. She knew that, and has become a pretty cool chick to hang with. Christie just sees me as abandoning her. I don’t get it. She did this but I’m the bad guy.”
Pausing the game, Elliot lowered his controller and spoke his mind. “I hated the idea of you two together. You’re my best friend, and she’s my sister. But I could see the way you two were together so I got over it. I never thought she’d become this person. I never imagined there was this person lurking inside her.” He looked toward the window, watching the sun dance across the afternoon sky, missing Gemma more and more as the minutes passed. “I don’t know if Christie will ever be the person we all thought she was again. But I want you to know, if you do decide to be with someone else… if you decide you want to and need to move, I’ll support you.”
The smile on Josh’s face said everything, relief, sadness, and gratefulness. “Thanks man. I didn’t know how to do this without it being weird. I love Christie. I think I’ll always love her, even. But until she… until she gets… better, I guess, I can’t be with her,” he sighed dejectedly. “But I’m glad to hear we’d still be cool.”
“Of course. We were friends long before you guys were together.” There was a testament in his mind that you were supposed to choose family over friends, but Elliot knew, sometimes blood was not thicker.
“So, how are things going with you and Gemma?” Josh asked with a sly smile on his face completely pushing the uncomfortable talk about Christie aside.
Elliot couldn’t help the grin that took to his face. They’d been together for nearly eight months now, and each day was like a beginning. “Things are good. Things are really good.”
“Yeah? How
good? Are we talking good good?” Josh prodded, his smile growing.
Blushing from the implication, Elliot shoved his laughing friend. “Not that good. I mean, we haven’t… we’re not there yet. I think it’ll be a while before either of us are there.” While Josh had found out, like everyone else, that something horrific had happened to Gemma, he had yet to learn all the grizzly details. And Elliot had no plans to enlighten his friend. All Josh knew was Gemma had been hurt pretty badly, how that hurt happened, he was clueless about. And unless Gemma wanted Josh to know, Elliot had no plans to tell. For the most part, Josh respected that, even though Elliot could see he wished he had a better idea. Especially when he heard comments like Elliot just made. “But things are… they’re amazing. I never thought I’d feel this way.”
“I’m glad you were able to get your head out of your ass and see what was in front of you the whole time,” Josh said seriously. “That girl has been crazy about you for a while now, it’s nice to see you realize you were always right there with her.”
Elliot scoffed. “I don’t know what I was thinking. I mean, it’s been a year since the whole Trisha debacle, and all I can think is, Gemma is so beautiful and her heart is so pure. Everything about her makes my skin feel like it’s tingling. I didn’t know a person really could take your breath away until Gemma told me she loved me for the first time.” He felt a little ridiculous talking about this, but the feelings were overwhelming. “I feel so… just fucking honored she wants me. Even after everything I put her through.”
“Gemma is a beautiful girl. I’m sure she feels the same about you,” Josh commented, not in a mocking way. “And honestly, everyone can see how much you both care about each other.”
“Yeah.” Elliot looked down, internally debating having this conversation. When he saw no other way for his brain to stop the thoughts, he pushed forward. “I just, I’m a little worried, you know?”
Somewhere in Between Page 27