Beautiful Lessons

by Rebecca Brooke

  “Hey, man. Thanks for coming over. Why are you guys still here?” Brendan asks, walking up beside me.

  “Yeah. Right now I’m just keeping my eye on Seona.” I nod toward where she is standing with the girls, having another drink. I have no idea how many this is. “She pushed me away earlier.”

  “She doesn’t normally drink.” This was a statement, not a question, since everyone knew that about Seona and seemed just as surprised as me to see her drinking.

  “No and I have no idea what she’s going to do,” I sigh.

  He shakes his head. “If she keeps that up, she’s gonna end up passing out.”

  “Unfortunately, at this point that’s kind of what I’m hoping for. Then I can take her home and not have to worry about any of this. She said something earlier about me having fun; do you have any idea what she was talking about?”

  Brendan shakes his head. “No. Didn’t you see her tonight? I picked her up at your house.”

  My head snaps towards him. “What do you mean you picked her up at my house? I’ve been trying to talk to her for days and all she does is ignore me.”

  “Dude, I have no idea. All I know is I was here and got a call from Seona that she needed to be picked up right away. I figured either you guys had a fight or that she got dropped off at your house, but you weren’t home. After everything that happened last weekend, I didn’t want to leave her stranded.”

  I let my gaze wander back to Seona. “I wish she would fight with me, at least then she would actually be talking to me.”

  “You know she loves you, right?”

  “Lately I’m not so sure, but I hope she does, because I love her.”

  Brendan helps me hold up the wall, while I watch Seona put back

  few shots of god only knows what. Since we met, there has never been a time where I’ve seen her drink a drop of liquor. She mentioned partying in Michigan, but this is all new

  to me. She’s been swaying on her feet and slurring her words for the last half hour. Especially when she starts dancing with some of the other guys from the team. The blood roars through my ears, as I approach the dance floor, fists clenched.

  “Get your hands off of her,” I bellow over the music. Pissed doesn’t even describe how I feel right now. She’s half naked and Sean has his hands all over her.

  “She wants to dance, man. Maybe she’s done hanging with a liar like you.” Chaz snaps from the other side of the pool.

  Sean looks a little uncomfortable, but Seona glares at me and walks back to get another drink, I assume. Meanwhile, dipshit Sean watches me, like he’s waiting to see what I’m going to do.

  Having all that I can take for one night, I do something I haven’t done in a year and a half. I pull my fist back to punch the asshole in the face. An arm wraps around my chest before I can take the swing.

  “Don’t, man. It’s not worth it.” Brendan says holding me back from kicking Sean’s ass and dragging her out of here.

  “What?” I practically growl.

  “Look, she’s in the kitchen with Claire. If you do what I know you’re thinking of doing, you’re just gonna piss her off more.”

  Damn, he’s right. The fight slips from my system and my shoulders slowly lose their tension. I turn to thank him when I hear cheering and catcalls all around me.

  “Oh shit,” Brendan says.

  Knowing that I’m going to be pissed about what I see, I turn and there is Seona, with Vanessa and Claire, dancing on the kitchen table. This night was turning out to be one hell of a shit show. The blood is roaring through my ears. I take deep breaths trying to keep my cool, but I’m losing more and more patience with this shit every second.

  Seona’s so drunk at this point she’s swaying all over the place and I’m just waiting for her to fall. The girls are grinding all over each other like it is some sort of strip show

  and the guys take advantage by crowding around the table. A few minutes later, I see Seona start to stumble. I push my way through the crowd just in time to catch her.

  This is ridiculous and I’m done with the bullshit. I don’t care how pissed she gets at me, I’m taking her home.

  “We’re leaving,” I say, through clenched teeth.

  “But…” she slurs, but never finishes her sentence before she goes limp in my arms.

  Shit. She’s passed out. Now I need to get her home. Hopefully Travis is there and can maybe talk some sense into her when he sees what a mess she is.

  “I’ll get the door,” Brendan offered.

  I sweep Seona up into my arms. “Thanks.”

  He holds the front door open and follows me to the car. Once we get Seona settled inside the truck, he wishes me luck before heading back into the house. The entire drive back to her house, Seona softly snores, sleeping off the alcohol running through her system. Whatever happens is on Seona; I tried to stop the bullshit.

  Opening the passenger door once we arrive at her house, I lift her out of the truck and into my arms. I walk up to the front door and knock softly, hoping Travis hears it. A few seconds later, the door swings open.

  “What the hell!” Travis looks at Seona curled in my arms and back at me, his brows drawn down.

  “She passed out.”

  He steps back and lets me in the house. I hear his footsteps on the stairs, following me to her room.

  “Did someone do that to her?” Travis asks, his voice dripping with acid.

  Laying her down in the bed, I cover her up and then turn to face Travis.

  “No. She did this all herself, I watched.”

  He takes a step forward. “And you didn’t stop it before she got to this point?”

  I cross my arms over my chest. “I wasn’t even there when it started. Brendan texted me to come get her; by the time I showed up she was already drunk off her ass. When I tried to get her to leave, she blew me off and told me to leave her alone. She’s not real inclined to listen to me right now.”

  Travis sighed. “Come on. Let’s talk downstairs.”

  I give Seona one more quick glance and follow Travis down the stairs. When we reach the foyer, he turns to me and runs his hand through his hair. “Sorry man. I know this isn’t your fault.”

  “To be honest, I don’t know what to say to her that might get her to listen.”

  He clasps me on the shoulder. “I’ll talk to her tomorrow. Why don’t you head home and get some sleep. I’ll text you in the afternoon, after we chat.”

  “Thanks, Travis.”

  He shakes his head. “Don’t thank me yet.”

  Walking out into the dark night, I feel something between me and Seona slipping away. Everything seemed so right two weeks ago, and now we were in this mess of a situation and I have no idea how to fix it.

  Chapter 24

  Seona

  The morning sunlight comes into my room, screaming at me to wake up. "Ugh," I moan, pulling out my pillow and covering my face.

  "Not today, Princess. We need to talk."

  "Travis! Please get out. I'm so fucking hung over."

  "Don't give a shit, Seona. We need to talk." He tears the pillow from my face and takes a seat on the bed, handing me a glass of water and medicine. I take the pills and drink the water. God, this headache needs to go away. "All right so do you mind telling me why you were wasted out of your damn mind?”

  I shrug. "I don’t want to talk about this, Travis. How did I get home?”

  “Jayceon.”

  Fuck. “Where is he?”

  “Home. He’s pretty upset.”

  “Whatever.” I roll my eyes. “He was with Alyssa last night and looked pretty damn comfortable.”

  "Seona, did you talk to him?” I shake my head. "You can't assume things. You need to talk to him and find out what happened. Have you even talked to him at all?" I shake my head again. "He loves you, honey. I don't know why you're doing this."

  "Because it's what I know. I just need time and I don't think I can do it with Jayceon or anyone else."

&nb
sp; “You’re acting like a child. One minute you love him and the next you want to break up with him. Which is it? Because I’m confused.”

  I sigh, covering my hands with my face. He’s right. At first I wanted to work things out with him, but now I don’t think I can. I realize, after last night, I need time to myself. I need to figure out what’s best for me.

  “I need time.”

  “You know Seona,” Travis pauses, bends his head down and looks at me. “You’re being unfair. Not only to Jayceon, but to yourself. Why are you putting all the weight of the world on you? Do you know what you want to do with your future or have you been focusing on Jayceon, forgetting about yourself?”

  I’m not sure how to answer him. For so long I’ve been on my own, and since being here I’ve been doing better. But life doesn’t play fair and I’m back to square one. “My dad…”

  “No. Enough about your dad. You had a bad past and it was fucked up. I’m sorry for that. But you need to rise above it. If you don’t love yourself then how do you expect someone to love you?”

  “It’s my decision to make, Travis. My mistakes.”

  "I think you're making a huge mistake."

  "Yeah well, that's what I'm good at."

  "You're an amazing person and I'm one lucky person to have a sister like you. Don't push me away, okay? I want to be here for you and help you with all of your demons."

  I throw my arms around my brother and cry. All the tears I've bottled inside come out and I don't stop them.

  Feeling hungry and after groveling to Travis, I head to the deli and order subs for Travis and I. I'm taking it easy today and chilling at home, catching up on homework and figuring out what I need to do with Jayceon.

  "Seona?" I turn around and see Brendan walking to me. “Thank you again for last night. I’m so sorry I got wasted. But you called Jayceon?”

  “Yeah, I did,” he answers, turning to face me. “You were gone. Out of your mind drunk.”

  “He had Alyssa over his house last night. That’s why I called you.” I softly say, looking down at my feet. “I don’t know what to do.”

  He lifts my chin to face him. “I think you need to talk to him and let him explain. Jayceon’s one of my best friends and I know he wouldn’t cheat on you. He’s upset that you’ve been ignoring him and went to the party without him.”

  “Well, that wouldn’t have happened if he didn’t have her over.” More pain slicing across my chest. I rub my arm up and down trying my hardest to knock out the images of them in my head.

  "Well," Brendan says, stepping closer to me, "if it’s any consolation, Jayceon's pretty worried about you, so talk to him."

  "I don’t know. I’ve been pushing him away. I’m scared to go up to him and watch him walk away."

  “That’s what you need to do. If you don’t go up to him and try, then how do you expect him to know what you’re thinking?”

  “When did you get so wise?”

  “I’m pretty smart.” He winks, putting his arm around my shoulder. While we wait for our orders, I think about calling Jayceon when I leave. Travis and Brendan are right. We need to talk and figure out our relationship.

  My order is called. "Hey, is Alyssa working?

  "Yeah, but I think she's in the back."

  "Oh okay, tell her Seona says hi?"

  "Sure thing." I wave bye to the counter guy and tell Brendan I'll see him tomorrow. When I get to the car, my phone rings and it's Jayceon.

  "Hey. I miss you and I’m ready to talk."

  "Where are you?" He harshly asks.

  "Ahh, getting food for me and Travis. You okay?"

  "I'm coming over." Before I can say anything, I realize he hung up on me. Hurrying home I try calling him, but no answer. As soon as I park the car, Jayceon's waiting for me on the porch.

  "Okay, mind telling me why you're pissy? I know you’re mad at me about the party, but..."

  "Me? Pissy? Are you serious? I haven't talked to my girlfriend for almost two weeks! My once amazing girlfriend has been ignoring me and I want her back. I want back the Seona I love."

  "I’m here now. I know that I’ve been acting really horribly and ignoring you, but I needed time and still do. But don't stand there acting innocent! I saw you and Alyssa yesterday!"

  "Doing what Seona? Huh? You think I'm cheating on you?! She was there for me because I've been a mess. All I want is answers. I mean, I’ve been waiting and trying my best, but dammit you keep pushing me away. Did you even read the letter I wrote you?” Shit, I was going to! “You aren't the girl I fell in love with. And what's this I hear that you're all up on Brendan?"

  “There’s nothing going on! Where are you getting your information from?”

  “Does it matter?”

  “Yes!” I scream, trying so hard not to lose control. I take a step back and close my eyes.

  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.

  “Just talk to me,” I tell him.

  “Talk to you? Seona that’s what I’ve been trying to do. You’ve been pushing me away and I don’t know what to do anymore. You say you’re here, but you’re not.”

  A mix of sadness and numbness hits me when I see his face crumbling before me. I’m the one causing him the pain and hurt. He needs to be with someone like Alyssa. Someone who’ll cherish him and love him like he needs to be loved and cherished. This is why I shouldn't be a girlfriend. There's so much pain in Jayceon's eyes. He steps closer to me, but I push him away. “Leave me alone, okay?”

  “I want answers!"

  “Fine!" I throw up my arms. "I don’t wanna be with you anymore. I can’t be your girlfriend.”

  He comes closer, but I move back. “Seona no,” he begs.

  “I don’t know what else I have to say or do for you to realize I don’t wanna be with you.” I tame my voice to be cold and heartless, even though everything inside me is breaking. “I have so much going on and I love you so much, but I have to better myself. You deserve to be happy.”

  “What?” His voice grows louder as he steps away from me. “No, you make me happy, Seona. I know that you’re going through a lot and that’s why you’ve been ignoring me. I get it, but please don’t push me away,” he shakes his head.

  My heart breaks when I see his face. His eyes grow wide and his fists ball at his side. “Why are you doing this?” His shaky voice nearly breaks me, and I’m about to change my mind.

  “Because I’m a fucking screw up. Just go, Jayceon. We’re done.” I turn around and walk away. Tears fall from my eyes and soon my walking turns to running. I don’t look back because I know that if I do, I’ll turn around and jump into the arms I love.

  As soon as I get to my room, I slam the door. Burying myself under my covers, sobs wrack my chest. Everything hurts as his face plays through my head. Why am I doing this?

  I pull out the letter he wrote me and more pain cuts through me.

  My beautiful Seona,

  It’s breaking my heart seeing you in this much pain. I wish you would let me in and let me help you. I want to be the one who dries your tears and makes you smile.

  I lie awake at night thinking about you. I think about your love, your smile, your kisses and how you feel in my arms. I miss you, baby.

  Please don’t shut me out. Let me in. I know it’s going to take some time. I’ll be here waiting for you because you and I are forever.

  I’m going to wait so take your time and remember how much I love you.

  Forever yours,

  Jayceon

  Reading his letter is gutting me. Why did I break up with him?

  “Seona?” Travis says, opening my door and walking in. “What’s going on?”

  “Nothing,” I respond softly, holding back my tears, and the letter.

  “Then why is Jayceon downstairs looking as if he’s been crying?”

  No. I can’t do this. “Travis, please tell him to leave. I broke up with him and I don’t wanna see him, okay?”

  “Seona,” he starts again, “Talk
to me please. Are you two fighting? What’s going on?”

  “I can’t be with him.” That’s all I’m able to say.

  Travis sits on my bed and pulls the covers from my eyes. “I know this isn’t you. I’m sorry that your dad is fucking with your head, but Jayceon loves you and is willing to do anything to keep you happy. Why are you doing this?”

  “Because,” I wipe the tears from my eyes, “he deserves better than me, Travis. I’m so fucked up and I can’t even think. Please don’t tell him anything. Just tell him that I’m done and I don’t want to see him.”

  “Seona…”

  “No, Travis. Please do this or I’ll run.”

  He sighs, patting my leg. “Okay. I hope you know what you’re doing.”

  "I do." I watch Travis leave my room. I pull the covers back over my head and cling onto the pillow, pretending it’s Jayceon. I’ll never find someone like him again, but that’s okay because I’m letting him go so he can find someone else to make him happy. He’ll be fine and I’ll be me. I’m making the right decision.

  Right?

  Chapter 25

  Jayceon

  The pain in my chest is indescribable. It’s been a long time since I’ve cried, but that knowledge does nothing to stop the tears from slipping down my face. Sinking onto the seat on the front porch, I hear the front door slam open and drop my head into my hands. At this point I could care less what Travis thinks, everything’s totally fucked up.

  “What the hell, Jayceon?” Travis practically yells. “Why did Seona just run up to her room and slam the door?”

  With an effort, I lift my head up to look at him, not bothering to hide my emotions.

  “Oh shit,” he whispers.

  “Seona dumped me. Said she can’t be with me anymore.”

  “Fuck.” He ran a hand down his face. “Stay here, I’ll be right back.”