Turning Point

by Georgia Hamilton

  I pat his chest with my palm, for no reason other to grope him and steady myself.

  “I won’t be decapitating you, not yet anyway, so you had better behave yourself Mr”

  There’s another short sweet kiss before he musters the resolve to break away.

  “Come on, let’s get you home” We start heading towards the car park. My heart sinks as I know it’s nearly time to leave him. The car journey is going to be torture. I should just get the tube, less painful.

  “I can get the train you know, it will be quicker as you’ve got to head off and...”

  “Yeah you could, but you’re not going to. Now move it Sinclair”

  I don’t bother to argue. What’s the point?

  Connor

  After dropping Rayne home, I head straight to the motorway. If I had gone home I would have never got on the road and it was closer from her house anyway.

  Leaving her was hard, so damn hard. She asked me if I wanted to come in for a drink or something before my journey, going to be honest, my resolve nearly crashed. She stood just inside her front door, leaning on her door unstrapping her shoes, dropping the come in so casually I nearly missed it. I watched her put her shoes neatly to the side and rub her red painted toes into her carpet. her feet must hurt being in those contraptions all day. I had asked her to come with me. I say ask more like fumbled the words, spewed them out. A garbled, jumbled mess. I am usually a confident guy, but this woman has got to me. I was disappointed when she said she couldn’t come. I am not used to getting turned down however she looks as gutted as I feel.

  “I’ve got a few meetings tomorrow, and after skiving off today I really need to do get ahead before I fall behind” She pouts and does that little wrinkle thing with her nose. I opted for a chaste kiss, anything more and there is no way I would have been on the road.

  The drive was a blur, I got here on autopilot, listening to the sat nav. I flick through my laptop, catching up on emails, preparing for what could be the biggest day for my career so far. My phone rings for the 4th time in a row, I don’t even need to look at it to know who it is.

  Why is it that the moment you think everything is going the way you planned it, something comes up to throw a spanner in the works? I know there’s no avoiding it, I cannot move forward if there is part of me in the past.

  “Yeah”

  “Finally found your balls and answered me eh?”

  “I have been busy M! what’s up?”

  “What’s up? No, long time no see, where have you been? No, I’m sorry for getting you banged up for the last few years. No thank you for taking the shit for me, none of that? Are you fucking kidding me B?”

  I knew this call was coming, I’d heard he was due out soon, I thought I could ignore it and it would go away. No such luck.

  “It’s nothing like that Madders, I heard you were coming back through, didn’t know when and I’ve not been around much. How’s everything?”

  “B, how do you think things are? You got off squeaky clean and I got the wrap. You owe, and I want to cash in. I hear your dealing in cars now instead of tabs. How’s that working out for you?”

  I didn’t like the line of questioning, what did he want a job or something?

  “M, Madders, listen, I know you think it was my doing but I never thought I would walk away from the case. I didn’t stitch you up if that’s what you think. That’s not my style. I’ve been trying to get my shit together. Haven’t been anything other than legit for 8 years now. I’m working and keeping my nose clean, in every way”

  “Look I am not going to have at this on the phone, come and meet me. I am just by your place”

  The thought of Madders being anywhere near my house fills me with dread. When I first got involved with him, I was lost. Had no home, no family. I didn’t belong. School was a myth. The teachers didn’t care if I was there or not. There was no parent to keep tabs on me, the children’s home I was in was understaffed, more time there was an agency person in who just wanted to punch a time sheet and get paid. We came and went as we pleased. Madders was well known in the area. We all looked up to him, wanted to be him. He had a nice car, always had cash for nice things and was never alone. Early on he took me under his wings, showed me the ropes. I never got involved in any of the hands-on stuff until the day we got arrested. The house was raided, and I was there. I was locked up until the day of the trial. Didn’t know who had been caught, what they had found. I did what I was trained to do. Said nothing and did nothing. I got lucky, Trent was the duty solicitor. He had his time with me in the cells before I was due in front of the judge. I wasn’t scared. I didn’t care. Prison had been a comfort in some ways. You’re told what to do, and when to do it. Shower, eat, sleep. Everyone around me was like me, no place they’d rather be. The pressure in prison was the same as the pressure on the street, I knew it and I could handle it. I prepared myself for the worst, but Trent got me out. I don’t know what happened as I got into the courtroom, I was given a suspended sentence. Keep your nose clean for 2 years and that’s the end of it. Trent became a bit of a father figure. A friend of his had a spare room, I stayed there and worked at his office. I figured he got paid to have me around, and I was getting paid, so I kept at it. Bea came back into my life and suddenly I had normality. I had a structure. I knew M had been given 14 years. I hoped I would be long gone before he got back. But time has flown and now here we are.

  “I’m away M, not back for a few days. I’ll call you when I get back and we can meet up”

  He knows I have no intention of calling but I know he won’t leave me now I have answered the call.

  “You do that B.” with that he hangs up.

  The pit of my stomach bottoms out and I dry heave. Bile rising into my throat ready to upturn the contents of my insides. My insides, My lunch with Rayne. My new normal was figuratively and literally about to leave me.

  I sat on the cold tiled floor for a while. The cold smooth surface soothing my burning body. I had not cried since the day they took me from Bea’s. I turned myself into an emotionless robot. Women came into my life to serve a purpose. I was a selfish bastard; their satisfaction wasn’t my priority. If I got my release I didn’t give it shit. Because of the money M had, women were always around. They’d do whatever you wanted just for a few £50’s, it wasn’t prostitution, not in my eyes. It was the same females over and over, they got paid to satisfy us, one, two sometimes three at a time. M used to get off on watching us take turns. He never got involved not with an audience, but he loved to watch. The power gave him a hard on.

  There was one day, we were in his living room. It was permanently dark in there, you never knew what time it was or how many days had gone by. He lived in a penthouse in the middle of a roundabout near Deptford. There were three cream sofas, long ones, that stretched across the three of the walls. He had a huge glass dining table, with about 8 chairs and two black glass coffee tables in the middle of the room.

  We were sitting around the dining table, we’d just eaten a take away or something. It was me, M, Snatch and Corps. Three of the girls who were always around had come by for a “drink” M wanted us to play a game. He liked games and he said he was feeling generous. Snatch was a short dark-skinned guy, bald head, a few tats on his neck (his children’s names) and a deep scar his right check. His eyes were hollow, soul less. He had a tooth missing at the front of his mouth, said it added character. Corps was the only white guy in the group. Lanky piece of shit, probably 6’ 2, skinny as they come with dark brown hair that flopped over his eyes. His nose was heavily crooked, probably been broken 20 times or more. He had a long beard that he plaited sometimes – weirdest mother fucker I knew. Then there was M. M was the original mad man. He looked like he was raised in a cartel. About 5’7 if that. Stocky but not overly built. Short, light brown hair, no major distinguishing features, probably a good thing. You’d struggle to get him in a line up.

  Anyway. We were shooting the shit at the table and one of the wom
en asked M for some money. Said she wanted to get the “girls nails done” he told her to bring all the girls in. I thought it was just the usual 3 but they had a couple of newbies. M hated new people around. He didn’t trust anyone. He told the two new girls they would have to earn their money.

  After making them stand on the dining table, he’d offer them a £20 note for every dare they completed. It started off as a bit of fun. The smallest of the two, a petite brown-haired girl with dark brown eyes and hair that swept to her butt. She had fake tits and probably fake hair, but I was a few brandies into the day/night and couldn’t be sure. After the innocent dares like licking a line of coke of the others chest, doing a shot without using their hands that kind of thing. I guess M got horny. He had shots lined up on their bodies. Snatch was busy sucking a bit of lime out of one of their arses, when M began filming. He was directing Snatch. “Pull her cheeks apart, that’s it” he poured brandy in her arse hole and sent Snatch in to suck as much out of it as he could. She was made to face me, and I handed her a £20 note lick she allowed. M pushed her flat on the table, got the dark haired one over to me, shoved her face in my crotch and told her to take my dick out and blow me. Her eyes were glazed, I was buzzing. She slapped her mouth around me took me all the way down her throat. Watching her gag made me feel superior. She was desperate to have all of me. Corpse had made is way to standing and slapped his dick across her face as she desperately tried to drain my balls. He tilted her arse up, and slammed close to his fist straight into her, the force pushed her down on me and Christ if I didn’t swear I felt her tonsils. Her eyes streamed, I still don’t know if they were tears. I asked if she was ok and she nodded. M told Corpse to pull her up and he spun my chair around. She was back on me a moment later with Corpse hanging out the back of her. Her “friend” had helped relieve her of her top during the switch around. M had upped the money if she got her tits out. They looked heavy and strained. Her nipples big and hard, like chocolate buttons, begging to be bitten. I was too lost in my own pleasure to think of hers, but her friend was happy to oblige, getting under her to lick her titties. From what I could see, Corpse had his hand up her friend, and his dick in this chick. Every time he thrust into her, she took me deeper on her throat. The second he spanked her arse and she hummed in pleasure, the shock wave shot straight to my balls.

  “Fuck Corpse do that again to her”

  He kept spanking her harder and harder, each time she would hum I would feel my balls tighten. The faster he went the faster I hurtled towards my end game. Knowing she was getting pleasure out of it was a bonus. I shot my load so fast down her throat, I lifted off the seat. This shoved her back onto Corpse who finished soon after.

  M put the camera down. Shoved the take away napkins in front of us, put a couple of grand on the side and went in to his room. Fucking pervert.

  The memory of that used to get me hard. But today it makes me feel sick. I wretch again to no avail. I catch myself in the mirror. “get a grip Connor, get it together” I crawl into the shower and let the water beat down over me. I am not sure how long I am in the shower for, but the water starts to run cold, always a sign to get out. I wrap a towel around my waist and lay down on the bed. My phone starts to buzz next to me. I don’t think it has stopped since I ended the call with M.

  Giving it a quick glance before switching it off, I see something that makes my heart skip a beat

  “You’re worrying me now! Please call me back to let me know you’re there safe, or which hospital you’re in so I can send flowers”

  “I mean it Connor”

  “For Fuck Sake call me back!”

  The three messages make me laugh. Rayne. I can imagine her getting pissed off each second, I don’t reply. When I unlock my phone, there are 4 missed calls from her and 1 from Bea.

  I lean back on my pillows, shot Bea a text to say I am Manchester and I’d call her tomorrow.

  Then I call Rayne

  Hello!!” She breathless like she ran for the phone.

  “Sorry I missed your calls, are you alright to talk, you sound busy?”

  “No, not busy. Yeah sorry about that, I called once and thought you must be there as the phone would have rung in your car, so you wouldn’t have missed it, then I thought maybe you were in the car and just ignored me so I called back, then I thought you might have been in checking in so gave you a minute. Then I convinced myself of all kinds of other shit so sent you what’s app messages, so I could see if you read them, then if you did read them and didn’t answer I would know that you were avoiding me. And then I don’t know, and I am rambling, so I am going to shut up”

  I know as soon as the laugh pops out, that from previous experience she is going to lose her shit that I laughed at her.

  When she doesn’t say anything, I worry that she’s hung up

  “Rayne?”

  She says hmmm – I can just about hear her.

  “I thought you’d hung up on me. Thank you for your concern and I am sorry I didn’t get to your calls, I was caught up in work and literally just got out the shower. I haven’t even got dressed yet, thought I had better call you before you sent in the military”

  “ha ha ha! I was just worried, you spent all that time today with me, then leave so late for a long drive, which FYI I really wish I had joined you on, I panicked that you had fallen asleep or something”

  “I wish you were here too”

  “Don’t be saying that when its arse o’clock and I am 400 miles away, if I had a car I would actually consider the drive to you, how is it possible to want to see you when I have been with you all afternoon. I feel needy”

  “That’s not needy”

  “It is when I have had you to myself already today. I forgot about everything this afternoon, nothing bothered me, now I am here alone, I want to get lost in that space with you. If you were here now, you would make me laugh”

  I drop my pillows a bit, so I am no longer sitting upright, I allow myself to sink into the bed as I listen to her talk, she muffles some words and I hear shuffling in the background. I pull my phone away from my ear 1.45am

  “That’s not needy, its normal, but Rayne, its nearly 2am. You should be asleep beautiful, you are going to struggle tomorrow if you don’t get to sleep soon.”

  “It will probably be easier now I know you’re ok. See that still sounds needy! I don’t know what it is that you have done to me Connor, and I am going to put it out there. I enjoy your company, I like being with you. We laugh at the same things, enjoy the same things yet we are so different – good different though – gah! Can you tell I am tired?”

  She always manages to draw a laugh out of me.

  “That’s why I said you should go to sleep Rayne, its late. I enjoy spending time with you too. More than I probably should. It like being in one of those reality shows, everything with us is fast paced, 3 dates feel’s like 3 months doesn’t it”

  She puffs out a sigh “Yes it really does. Can you do something for me please?”

  “Anything”

  “Can you talk to me until I go to sleep? I just don’t want you to hang up, not yet”

  “I can do that” I prop my knees up, sinking further into my bed. Just the sound of her voice has got my mind working overtime. What is she wearing, is she in bed, is her hair up or down? I love it down. It’s unruly, wild and sexy as fuck.

  “But if you insist on keeping this conversation going, I want to see you, I’m going to call you on FaceTime.”

  Her groan is muffled, sounds like she’s got a pillow or something over her mouth. “No Connor, I am a mess, you’re not seeing me without make up on and in my ratty pj’s bec….”

  Sod that if she thinks that’s enough for me to change my mind. Before she can even continue, I press the video call on my phone, I am convinced she won’t answer but it’s worth a try. Just as I am about to give up that little whoosh noise happens, and my face is now on a small screen on the right of my handset. The only issue is I can’t see her
r />   “Rayne? Why is my screen black?”

  “erm, perhaps its broken”

  “Nope, I can see myself, it’s just you that is missing”

  She huffs a little, puffs a lot and shuffles her phone, she turned it face down on the pillow next to her, I only know this as I can see it when she pulls the phone away and towards her.

  As she comes into view, my heart stops. She’s laying on her side, hair fanned out on the pillow, her black framed glasses front and centre on her face. She’s got a white bed sheet pulled up to under her arms, but I can make out two pink straps on her shoulders.

  “you’re a nuisance Connor, I look hideous”

  “you look anything but hideous beautiful. I thought you had on ratty pj’s”

  “I took them off when I saw your call coming through but didn’t have time to put something else on.”

  Now, there are two ways I can play this – I can either think and speak with my dick by asking her to show me, or I can be a gentleman and keep the conversation going

  “If I promise to close my eyes, you can go and get changed, it will stop you cutting off your circulation with that bed sheet”

  She’s muttering something under her breath as she tips her phone up against the same offending pillow that I was up against at the beginning of this conversation. I am not sure if is the motion of her moving off the bed but the next thing I see on the screen is her sliding into view as her phone slips off the pillow, her close to perfect butt, clad in a pair of what looks like cartoon little short things. I don’t know if they are very small shorts or a pair of knickers but holy heck they are hot. She’s bent over picking something up off the floor. I want to look away, but I can’t. I know full well that I am going to get caught any second, but I dare not look away. She picks up a grey top from the floor, she reaches up to put her arms through the sleeves and I promise you this, I have never been turned on by a back before but as the grey cotton slips over her skin, I groan a little in disappointment. It doesn’t cover her shorts – the groan I wanted to keep to myself, erupts and takes me by surprise. I know she’s turning around before it even happens, but do I look away or blank out my screen – nope I lay there taking her all in.