Turning Point

by Georgia Hamilton

  As soon as she sees me I know I am in for it. Her initial shock of seeing me staring back at her, changes. She wrinkles her nose and arches her eyebrow “Oops” I say with a shrug. I am going

  “This is why I don’t facetime”

  “What? So, you don’t ‘accidently flash your snoopy knickers at them”

  The ‘I am appalled’ look is back on her face “Snoopy?? Hush your gums Mr, these are Calvin and Hobbs baby, the best – have you even read any of them? I love them. Like full on love”

  “What does it say on your top?”

  “Reality continues to ruin my life”

  It scares me how much that sentence resonates with me, not an hour ago I was sitting on my bare arse o the cold floor praying to be taken away from what I thought was my reality, now, the reality that I am faced with appeals to me much more than my past. I need to work out how to get rid of Madders, I don’t need him pulling me back in.

  When he first called me, the other day when I was with Rayne, I wondered, just for a moment, if I hadn’t been with Rayne would I have answered his call, how easy would it have been to go back to the way I was. The best way to describe Madders is he is like a drug, he gets under your skin, as much as you want to repel him, as much as you shouldn’t care what he is going to say or do, you can’t help but wonder, the moment he sees your curiosity peak he’s all over you like a junkie on their fix. Irony is, you’re the junkie and he’s your fix.

  It’s like I have spent the last 8 years in rehab, 2900 or so days sober. If that’s the way I am looking at things, Trent would be my sponsor or maybe that should be Rayne.

  “Are you still with me Connor?”

  She’s propped up in bed now, the sheet nowhere in sight, just a dodgy grey t- shirt with a small boy and a tiger on the front

  “I am still here beautiful, sorry got work on my mind. I point to her t- shit – I take it that’s Calvin and Hooch on your top?”

  “Hobbs! Its Hobbs not Hooch you weirdo!”

  “How am I weird? You’re the one in adolescent boys clothing”

  “You’re a weirdo because you don’t know who Calvin and Hobbs are? Like really what kind of childh...”

  Rayne stops mid-sentence, I see realisation flood her face, it’s in that moment I am grateful that we can see each other. I don’t want her to be censored around me, I let her in because I want her to know. It shouldn’t be taboo.

  “my childhood like most of my past was pretty shitty, but my future is looking damn good from here”

  I watch her smile, she’s squinting at me. “Why did you take off your glasses beautiful?”

  She taps her nose. Almost like she doesn’t believe she is not wearing them.

  “I took them off when I put my top on, I had them on to read my phone, you should see the messages I send without my contacts or me goggles on, predictive text is not my friend. Anyway, Sorry about that, I didn’t mean anything by it. I wasn’t thinking. I am sorry”

  “Stop saying sorry beautiful, it is not your fault. There is nothing to be sorry for, you are no to blame for the shit hand I was dealt but you are in my present, in my right now. That’s in your control so don’t fuck it up”

  She’s not laughing but she is smiling, and I will take that for now.

  “Changing the subject, I am supposed to be talking to you until you fall asleep, so do me a favour please, lay down and let me get you off to sleep”

  She giggles and does as she’s told. She lays down on her side and props her phone up next to her. I do the same, spin on my side and put her next to me. Her hair is spread out under her head, a pillow of curls, she’s closed her eyes, her lashes fluttering against her cheek, her mouth is in a little ‘o’ shape. I would put money on her being asleep until she says:

  “What’s your favourite song”

  I pull the thin sheet over me, the shifting on the bed has dislodged my towel, as much as I have zero issues with my body, I tend to sleep as nature intend for no reason other than I am crap at doing my washing, I would hate for the phone to drop and exposed myself to her – when she finally gets to have me naked in a bed, she is going to be in the room, right there next to me!

  “Hmm, that’s way too broad a question beautiful. I have different favourite songs for days of the week, season, driving you name it...”

  She props her head up on her elbows, damn it if I wouldn’t give my left nut sack to have her next to me right now.

  “if we’re talking about right now, this minute, on the spot, have to answer you like right now.” I watch her nodding like a little puppy waiting for her treat. “Ok, so right now, this minute? Oh my god the pressure of a name”

  She lets a hearty laugh out – “Are you actually quoting Pretty Woman at me Connor?”

  I guff, “As if, that’s in Godfather …...” she doesn’t buy it but I swiftly move on… “ANYWAY, if I had to give you a song right now… hmmmm. Can I give you two?”

  She nods

  “Prince When Doves Cry, always reminds me of Bea, she used to play it all the time in the car, it’s a sad song but musically its genius. Prince is genius... my second song is MJ man in the mirror”

  “Trent loves that song. He plays it on the piano all the time”

  I don’t let her know that Trent is the reason that I like that song, he used to make me listen to the lyrics, told me that anytime you look in the mirror and you don’t like what you see, you can make a change, but never lose who you are. Most teenage boys would tell him to do one, but I had respect for Trent. He just wanted to improve me.

  I don’t respond to her, I just let her talk.

  “Do you want to know mine now?”

  “Obviously!”

  She thinks for a minute, “This is hard”

  You have no idea Rayne, no idea at all. I refrain from saying anything to incriminate myself further.

  “Ok, if I was pushed to give you an answer this very second, I would say, Luther Vandross Never Too Much, it is the very first song I ever knew the words to”

  I can see her eyes dancing, you’d think it was Christmas the way they’re lit up. She interrupts my thoughts

  “Here’s a good one for you, if you could play me any song right now, to get me to sleep what would you play?” Having a brainwave, and being grateful for the hotel robe on the bed, I throw it on as I walk over to the dressing table

  “What are you doing Connor”

  “hold on”

  I grab my laptop, go into my SoundCloud and pull up one of my favourites. I get back to the bed, just into her view again.

  “This is a radio show I listen to, this actual recording is perfect”

  I press play and rest it on the bedside table. R Kelly strip for you is the first song to play, I settle back down and she’s a vision. Eyes closed she’s mouthing the words, the gentlest hint of a smile on her lips.

  “You approve?”

  She peaks an eye open and groans “I forgot about this song!! I love it!! It is now re added to my favourites”

  Our conversation eases from music to food, talking to her is the most natural thing in the world, there are no awkward silences, we just have a connection.

  I stop talking to take her in. I am not sure how I got so lucky, she is a hard nut to crack, her stories of past relationships show me that I am different to anyone she has ever dated, not that we’ve officially said we’re dating. That’s a conversation for face to face not facetime.

  She’s got her eyes closed and she’s sleepily singing along to Mary J Blige. I don’t want to disturb her, so I lay there watching her slowly drift off.

  My room phone jolts me out of slumber, thank god, I asked for a wakeup call, my phone is still on the pillow next to me, battery dead, same as my laptop.

  I stick them both in charge and grab a quick shower, I shoot Rayne a text on my way to the car to say Good Morning and hope her day is a better day than yesterday. She texts back immediately wishing me good luck, she ends her message with call me later and a
kiss.

  Gah!! When did I become a sucker? The mere fact that she asks me to call her later makes me happy…I decide to send her a little surprise to her office. Just to keep her smiling. I get the feeling today’s going to be a good day.

  Rayne

  Paige has got her head round my door, desperately trying to get my attention. She is the bane of my life sometimes, but I couldn’t be without her. They call her Donna around the office because she is like Donna from Suits. It’s more than the red head similarity, it’s the build, the dresses (she has more dresses than anyone I have ever met!) the sass but most importantly her organisational and people skills are carbon. She is amazing.

  I finish up my call and wave her in. She disappears out of sight for a second then my door bursts open and instead of seeing Paige’s face, I am greeted by a huge box. Paige peaks around the box and kicks my door closed. Without an invitation she pops it on my desk and takes a seat.

  “Well go on!! Open it”

  I pull my glasses down off my head and raise an eyebrow at her. “You’re way too bossy for your own good! Why are you so interested anyway? It’s probably just a client”

  “Possibly, but something tells me it’s not” she doesn’t elaborate, and I don’t really want to know what exactly tells her it’s not. I peel back the black paper and open the box. I side is a bottle of champagne, a bright pink envelope and a big black round box. Paige squeals when she sees it and grabs the envelope.

  “Hey! Give that back!” I feebly fumble for the card, but she jumps up out of my reach

  “I don’t know why you are so excited when you don’t know what’s in the box, could be a horse’s head”

  I don’t know who I am kidding, I’m giddy like a kid on Christmas Day, it is so not a horse’s head.

  “Pfffft! As far as I know, this florist does not specialise in horse’s heads, oooh good choice with the bubbles.”

  “Oi! Get your nose out” I pull out the black box and take off the lid. Paige and I gasp so loudly we frighten each other. Paige grips the envelope to her chest. Under the velvet lid, there is the most beautiful posy of at least 40 white roses, in the very middle is a singe red rose. There is no way to contain my smile. I know without even checking the note who they are from.

  “Afternoon beautiful, I just wanted to brighten your day and make you smile. I hope you like roses? If not drink the champagne quickly and forgive me. Thank you for an almost perfect day and night. Connor. Kiss then in brackets he’s put ‘a thousand kisses from you is never too much’ Paige is reading the card aloud to me, I’ve barely heard everything she’s said.

  “He is a keeper Rayne... these roses cost a fortune”

  Paige is gesturing towards the box, her eyes wide in disbelief.

  I can’t take it all in, he walked into me, literally, nearly a fortnight ago, the sexual attraction was undeniable, I would have been happy to leave it there after that first time we met but now I know it won’t be so easy to walk away as I am falling for him. Admitting that I care about him scares me, even more so than the fact it’s happened so fast, I’ve had wee’s that have taken longer than the amount of time it’s taken me to fall for him. I’ve read it in my books, believe me my KU library is full of HEA, but you never think it’s going to happen to you. Connor is the epitome of a book boyfriend, I just need him to be my boyfriend now.

  “Can you pass me the note Paige”

  She’s got a sappy grin on her face, anyone would think these belonged to her.

  Ever the professional Paige is wearing her headset and before I can even get to my desk phone when it starts ringing she’s answered it.

  “Who shall I say is calling… Oooohh Connor, yes of course, let me see if she’s available, no don’t worry I’m not interrupting her, yes. Ahhhh very kind of you. Give me a moment let me try her line”

  I mouth to her to get the “fuck out” and shut the door behind her. Picking up the pink envelope I drop into chair.

  “You are too much Connor, the flowers are beautiful, I love them. They have made my day! Thank you so much, I don’t know what I did to deserve them, so generous.”

  What I fail to say is, I feel like he is too good to be true, when I woke up this morning, I was grinning like an idiot. I cannot believe he played music to me, laid down next to me and physically talked me in to a calm sleep. It was perfect. When I think he cannot possibly get any better, he does. Connor makes me feel a little bit insecure, there is a part of me that feels like it could be a game and he is playing some sick trick on me.

  In the past, because Trent is so high up his food chain, there have been occasions where I have been wined and dined by sons of men who want to work with Trent, or want Trent to invest in something with them. They shower me with gifts and bags of attention but it’s not because they want to, there is always an ulterior motive, or so it seems. There was one incident at an event Aaron was holding, some charity auction and my ‘date’ was the son of some financial planner Ma and Trent knew. The guy was a grade A drip, he spent the whole time asking about Trent, what does he do for fun, what does he like to drink, what are his plans blah, blah, blah. Aaron and Leilani, being the children that they are had been listening to the excuse of a conversation. I was trying not to laugh at the faces they were making behind his back, we were behaving no better than bullies in the playground, but he deserved it. He made my ex Adrian seem multi-faceted. This dude was beige or rather stained white, at least beige was an intentionally boring. Anyway, long and the short of it, he showered me with flowers for days after the date ended. I hated them, unimaginative, bland flowers, probably cost a fortune but wasted on me. I managed to get shot of him when I accidentally sent him a message meant for Ma.

  I think the gist of it was, its awful mum, if I offered him Trent’s dick to suck he would bite my hand off, I went on to say that he would probably promise Trent his first-born son in return for a sip of Trent’s jizz shake. Turns out he had no sense of humour and no trace of banter. He read the message and politely told me to go fuck myself, He said, and I quote “Trent would get more of arise out of me than you, frigid bitch

  Connor chuckles on the other end of the phone – I think for a minute he might have heard my thoughts.

  “Glad you liked them, I had to find a way to keep you thinking about me”

  “Well there is no chance I could forget about you with this enormous bouquet in my office, you really didn’t have to”

  “According to the florist, they are supposed to last for months, so I will just have to keep buying you some to keep you interested”

  I love his honesty. When you look at Connor, he’s this huge man, perfectly built with muscles on his muscles, he looks like he lives in the gym, the last thing you expect is this soft centre. Without knowing him, his green eyes make him look dangerous, his beard giving him a rough edge but when you know him, his eyes are pools of warmth, ones that you want to dive into, his beard is the softest thing I have ever felt, not even slightly coarse, I get comfort from stroking it when he’s around. The second he smiles, and his dimples erupt any negative thoughts disappear and I am hooked.

  “Well that’s a change from the conversation last night, I thought you said I had your future in my hands” I want him to know I remember the conversation, I remember that part at least. As he said those words to me, it made my heart leap and my uterus sing!

  “You’re mistaken, you have OUR future in your hands”

  Whelp. Cue a tsunami of appreciation flooding me knickers.

  “That could be dangerous Connor, I could corrupt you and lead us both down of path devilish destruction”

  “I can handle it beautiful, I can handle it. I look forward to hearing what you have planned”

  He cannot be serious, he wants me to plan our future? This is crazy, he is crazy. I can’t plan what to eat for dinner tomorrow much less our future.

  His laugh interrupts my semi melt down

  “I can hear your panic down the phone, its ok if you ha
ve not planned anything yet, we’ve still got 3 days until Saturday”

  “Saturday??” Oh boy I am so confused, what is happening on Saturday DOH! Our date, I promised to plan our date, gave it the biggun didn’t I.

  “oh yes! Right, Saturday... well it’s a surprise, so I will let you know where to be and when”

  He laughs that deep rumble into my ear. Cue the purr. He can warm my heart and melt my bones just by making that single noise

  “I’ve got to go beautiful, but text me when you get in tonight and I will give you a call”

  I nod, forgetting he can’t see me. “will do. Drive safely Connor, we’ve got a cracking date happening on Saturday and I need you in one piece”

  “One piece, I get it. Will do my best. Have a good day beautiful”

  “you too”

  I hang up the phone still in my little bubble, I now understand what people mean when they say walking on cloud 9, I positively float.

  Setting the flowers on the console table by the door to my office, I hum little songs to myself. Without thinking I hook my phone up to the speakers and search for a playlist. Now what was the name of that show he played yesterday – oh yeah Sexy time – I am sure the jingle said Sweet boy entertainment. I flick through SoundCloud and find a few, hitting the first one on the list, I laugh as R Kelly tells me that “suddenly he feels like he wants to break loose”

  I daydream for just a second picturing Connor walking up to my front door, in nothing but a long coat, ready to strip for me… I have an idea for Saturday night... let’s just hope I can put it all together...

  Paige comes in with a file I need for my next meeting, I fill her in on my plans and ask her to make some calls for me to get everything booked. She squeals like a child and heads back to her desk. Flipping through the file, it’s a mutual client of Leilani’s and mine. I haven’t thought about her all day. My heart sinks to my stomach when I realise I can’t just give her a call, I need to show that I can give them space, I really want to tell her about Connor. I drop her a quick text with a picture of the roses, Connors name and the love heart eyes emoji.