Fade to Black (The Black Trilogy Book 1)

by MC Webb

  Sheldon shrugged, not caring what his socks looked like. I did as he did and looked around. It smelled like warm apples inside the house. It made my mouth water. On the left was a great big room, with a baby grand that sat in the corner. At this, I brightened. I loved piano, and had my acting career not swallowed me whole, I would have taken a chance at playing professionally. In the middle of the room were three couches set in a semi-circle, with an old wooden table in the middle.

  Over the top of an ancient fireplace was a television, placed so as to be easily viewed from the couches. It was a cozy room, with huge floor-to-ceiling windows that covered the east side of the room. I glanced to the right and saw a dining room table that sat at least twenty, maybe more. Roses and fruit bowls were the centerpieces. This went through to a brightly lit kitchen.

  Everything I’d seen so far was charming and comfortable. It kind of reminded me of an old bed and breakfast, but much more personal. The entryway was directly in front of a wide staircase, which rose in a curve to the next floor. Beyond the first flight of stairs, I couldn’t see.

  Nathan and Dixie greeted us, followed by Dee Dee. Sheldon had already gone to the kitchen. He always complained that he gained at least ten pounds from Piper’s cooking when he visited.

  I was in the middle of asking how far we were from anything, when legs caught my eye. They were connected to a frame I watched walk slowly down the stairs.

  It was as if everything was moving in slow motion. I saw the jeans encasing long legs, then the snug grey Rolling Stones T-shirt, then the legs, light, strawberry-blonde hair, then finally, the face. It was the face I’d dreamed about since my time in Louisiana years before. I stood with my mouth open, mid-sentence, watching her walk our way.

  Following my gaze, Nathan turned to the woman.

  “Piper! Bout time!”

  Playfully, she bumped his stomach with a small fist.

  “Piper?” I said stupidly.

  “Yes,” she said smiling. “Ryan? It’s so nice to meet you.”

  I knew I was frowning in response. I put my best faux face on.

  “Nice to finally meet you,” I said, playing along.

  I wanted to say, “What the hell?” Did she even recognize me? I’d memorized every inch of her, and could recall it vividly, no matter how wasted I got at times.

  I watched Piper hugged Sheldon. I was instantly jealous.

  “You all hungry? I’ve got chicken casserole in the oven.”

  “Starved!” Nathan said,

  “Woo-hoo! Me too”, added Sheldon from the kitchen sounding as if his mouth was already full.

  “Sure,” I said still deflated at the less-than-warm reunion.

  I don’t know what I expected, but it wasn’t anything like what was happening. Piper? Her name was Livia, or so I thought. I was suddenly aware of my appearance. I was grungy, and my beard was thick and itchy. I should have shaved, damn it.

  I asked to use the restroom, and took my backpack with me. I only had a little blow left, until the overnight package arrived tomorrow. I would make it last till morning, or early afternoon.

  When I was done freshening up, I was more relaxed and could sit without twitching at least. We all ate and laughed. I watched the beauty I’d fallen so hard for. When I thought of her name and how different she was, I had to agree, Piper was a better fit for her than Livia.

  Later we watched The Postman Always Rings Twice, with apple pie topped with vanilla ice cream. When it was late, we left Sheldon asleep on the couch. Piper showed me to my room. Nathan said, “Good night,” and followed Dee Dee to a room down from mine.

  “I’m just there,” Piper pointed to a door across from me. “If you need anything, just holler,” she said lightly and turned to go to her room.

  She stopped and turned back to me. I perked up, hoping she would acknowledge who I was and our time together.

  “If you smoke, make sure you open a window,” she said, and I deflated again.

  “No problem,” I said sourly, going into the room.

  “Ryan?” she called.

  I stuck my head out of the door.

  “I’m really glad you’re here,” she said simply.

  I watched her open her door and enter her room.

  “So am I, Piper,” I said, but my voice was so low I wasn’t sure she heard me.

  Over the next few days we all laughed, ate, and watched movies. It was family time. I’d never had anything like it, and I noticed quickly how much I loved it. Bee and the girls could not make it for Halloween. When I inquired about a baby picture in the living room, Piper said she had a daughter away at school.

  “Ellie,” she said sweetly.

  I thought she was uncomfortable talking about her, so I asked no more. Most of the time Piper was warm and friendly, but other times we would all sit and talk, especially in the living room, and she would wander off in thought. A sad expression would creep over her beautiful face. I fought the urge to ask what was wrong or to put her in my arms. The truth was the drugs kept me satisfied and numb. I began to resent my addiction, for the first time in years. I relied on it to function now.

  Halloween night Sheldon, Josh, and Nathan had the barn loft open and were doing sound checks for that evening’s concert. By the sound of it, everyone in the county was coming. There were two horses hooked to a bed of hay, I supposed for hayrides. The people would bring their own drinks and blankets, and sit in the yard. I said I would watch from the porch of the house, knowing, as always, my face would cause a stir, and the last thing I wanted were strangers gaping at me, or the paps to find me and start hunting me, taking pictures.

  I got a surprise when Piper presented me with a Zorro costume, mask, hat, and gloves. I would be unrecognizable. I was eager to actually be a part of something so simple. I dressed and waited. When Piper came downstairs, glittering in a halo and white dress with wings my heart stopped for a few seconds then started up in a gallop. She was gorgeous and it was killing me acting like we didn’t know each other.

  Sheldon walked up behind me and slapped me on the back.

  “See? I told you so,” he said so only I could hear and walked away, scratching his multicolored Afro wig. He was right, Piper was an angel.

  I followed everyone out to the yard. People were everywhere. At least a hundred had already arrived. Some stood to the side, some lay on their blankets, all had a beer in their hand. I took a beer for myself, and stood with Josh, as Sheldon and Nathan began the show.

  Sheldon was a genius. He sang Brittany Spears, Loretta Lynn, Kid Rock, and Uncle Kracker. There wasn’t a song he couldn’t sing, or a song Nathan couldn’t play. They performed in perfect harmony, as only two people with a long history together can. The crowd hooted and hollered like true hillbillies. I kept a watch on Piper. She gave candy to children, danced with old men, and spoke to everyone, the perfect hostess.

  The darker the night got, the more people showed up. Sheldon asked that everyone stand for a slow dance before he and Nathan took a break.

  “We’re gonna slow it down, and let the lovers come forth for this one,” he said, and nodded to Nathan to begin.

  He sang with precision, “Let It Be Me,” by Ray LaMontagne. Couples all over were dancing now. I set my beer down, and strode confidently over to Piper before anyone else could. Josh started to say something, but I ignored him and stayed on course.

  I didn’t speak when I got to Piper. I just took her hand, and pulled her into the swaying crowd. I took my hat off and tossed it, not caring where it landed. I was still covered with a skullcap and eye mask.

  Piper blinked and looked around like she was ready to run. I remembered how reluctant she was on the beach, and I recalled the words I’d said, standing naked in the water.

  I bent to her ear, “This is life, Livia. Don’t you want to live it?”

  I felt her body stiffen, and she tried to pull back from me. I kept my face to her ear, glad I had shaved.

  “No. Please stay.”

&nbs
p; After a moment, she relaxed into me. I traced her face with my lips as Sheldon sang the befitting song for us. Piper breathed onto my neck, and I moved my lips down hers. She smelled of the same sweet perfume I remembered from so long ago.

  I kissed her collarbone, and made my way back up to her ear. I rubbed the side of her face with mine, much like a dog would your hand. I didn’t care who saw me. I’d wanted this girl for years, and now I had her in my arms. I dreaded letting her go once the song would end. For just a second, Piper laid her head against my chest. This small movement had me breathing heavier. I turned to whisper in her ear.

  “I’ve wanted this for years, Piper. Don’t you remember me at all?”

  She neither answered nor moved. As the song ended, I kissed her lips softly, feeling her body turn rigid from excitement or repulsion, I didn’t care, but when she parted her lips and kissed me back, I felt my own body respond. I couldn’t have written a better scene for a movie. I pulled her flush against me suddenly hungry for more. When I let my tongue explore her mouth Piper jerked away from me.

  There was no music, no couples were around us. We stood inches apart staring at one another for what seemed like forever. Piper was breathing heavy and I could see tears filling her eyes. I reach to touch her faces, but she back away, finally turning to leave me alone. I stood, watching her go. My insides felt raw, exposed.

  …

  I didn’t see Piper the rest of the night or at all the next day. I should have been watching where I was headed, but being doped and desiring a woman, who obviously did not desire me, clouded all the signs that were there all along.

  I was about to crash without a parachute.

  The night after the party, I found Piper in the kitchen, laying out thick slices of ham and roast beef. Fresh homegrown lettuce and tomatoes. Fresh baked breads and sour pickles. There were chips and tea.

  When we were momentarily alone I began to apologize for kissing her, but she waved me off.

  “No, it’s okay,” but once she said this, I felt worse about it. It wasn’t okay. I had wanted her, so I’d put her in a position that she did not want to be in. That was not okay with me.

  Before I could say anything else, Roger showed up. This should have raised a red flag, but I greeted my mentor and father figure as always. He brought his girlfriend, Rebecca, with him. She was a pretty, forty-something, Wall Street somebody. She wore diamonds everywhere and reminded me of a brunette version of Zsa Zsa Gabor. After dinner, Nathan asked me to stay and help him clean up. Piper went with Sheldon, Josh, and Roger into the grand room.

  The rest said good night and headed up the stairs. Still, I was ignorant about what was coming. I helped Nathan put things away and piled dishes into the sink. We were talking about my schedule when we got to the living room. Nathan motioned me in first, and I heard him slide the heavy wood doors closed behind me.

  I might have felt something, a warning bell, but it was the FedEx package on the coffee table that brought me up short. I looked at it, then up to Roger’s unreadable face. Piper had her back to the room, looking out the window. Josh and Sheldon sat on the couch opposite Roger.

  “Ryan, please, have a seat,” Roger said in the voice he normally used for negotiations.

  Nathan came and sat on the back of Roger’s couch, looking down at the floor and wearing an unmistakable expression of pity. I had a couch all to myself.

  Alone, as always. Symbolic, but my reality. Roger leaned forward, placing his arms on his knees, and began to talk.

  “What is this?” I said looking to each one of my friends.

  “Ryan, we are all here tonight, because we all love you.”

  I involuntarily glanced at Piper’s back. She did not turn from the window. She stood stiffly looking outside.

  “We have one purpose, and that is for you to be well,” Roger was saying.

  A movement behind me caught my attention. I turned to see for the first time two men standing by the wall. I’d never seen them before, and the sight of them made me nervous. Roger tapped the FedEx box to get my attention. I began chewing on my nails. I knew what was coming, and I resented the mutiny of it all.

  “You have choices,” Roger was saying.

  Apparently, they had concocted a plan. If I did not stay, at least through the New Year, and get clean, with the help of a “world-renowned doctor,” and he gestured to the older man behind me, I would go to jail, charged with the federal crime of having my drugs shipped to me. He waved a hand toward the other man I assumed was here to carry out my arrest, were I to choose the latter. When I tried to speak, Roger held up a hand to silence me.

  “If you do not get and stay clean once and for all, I along with Josh, Nathan, and even Sheldon…” I glanced at Sheldon. He had his eyes on the floor, refusing to meet mine. “…will cut off all contact with you,” Roger finished.

  My face screwed up in rage at this.

  “You’re serious?”

  I looked from Roger to Josh to Nathan to Sheldon, who said, “As a heart attack, bro,” looking me square in the eyes this time.

  I searched his face for humor, or a glimmer of something that said anything but what I’d heard. I found nothing there but defiance and truth.

  “You’re godfather to my girls, and you stood stoned at my babies’ christenings,” Sheldon said, obviously hurting. “I love you man, but this shit has gone on long enough. Time for change before you force me, force all of us, to bury you.”

  I hurt inside like I’d never hurt before. I glanced at Piper’s back again, wondering what her role in all of this was. She couldn’t stand the sight of me.

  I stood up and looked at each one, wanting to shoot them one by one for making me feel like a reject. Roger stood and tried to touch me. I pulled away like an angry child.

  “Stay here, Ryan. Get yourself well, or if you wish, I can arrange anywhere you would like to go,” Roger said, sounding sad and weary. “Piper and Nathan have opened their home to you. At least here you would be able to stay out of the news.” Roger continued, almost pleading now. “Ryan, if we’d known, we might have saved Mol—” he started.

  “Don’t talk to me about that!” I screamed at him, and I actually covered my ears, unable to stand hearing her name.

  Closing my eyes, I could hear the gun shot, feel the splatters of her blood. I stormed from the room and out the front door, slamming it behind me. No one tried to stop me.

  I walked down the driveway and down the narrow path these people would call a road. I didn’t care where I was going. I was getting away from this place. I ripped my pocket trying to pull my cell phone out. I jammed a number in, and nothing. I tried again, and still nothing. I threw the damn thing into the trees somewhere, and kept walking. Viola was probably part of this shit too.

  “Traitors!” I screamed at the night. “You’re all fucking traitors!”

  I walked on, not knowing where I was headed. After a few minutes of this, I couldn’t see the house, or anything that looked remotely like a road. There were things moving in the woods. Birds made noises, and I realized it was cold. I stood looking around, and then I began to think about what they had just said to me.

  I had to admit, I liked my drugs, but I was ready to rid myself of my reliance on them, and if I was completely honest with myself, I just didn’t want to be told how easily I’d be tossed away because I had a problem. I thought of my father and of dying alone, the way he did.

  I don’t know how long I sat in the cold, lost in the boonies, but I was numb. I leaned, tired, against a fencepost, craving a hit. I laid my head back, and stared in amazement at the sky. Above me was a blanket of stars. I’d stayed in brightly-lit cities for so long, I’d forgotten what this looked like.

  A car came slowly down the road and stopped in front of me. I walked to it, recognizing Nathan’s old Camaro. I flung the door open and crumpled inside, defeated. Piper sat behind the wheel, looking out the windshield.

  “Want me to take you to the airport?” she asked, no
t looking at me.

  I tried to dry my eyes, not wanting her to see my weakness.

  “Or back to the house?” she took my hand, “It’s your choice, Ryan, but either way, I need you to be well.”

  I didn’t understand what she was saying. Why would she need me to be well? That didn’t make any sense.

  “You want to tell me why you insist on acting like you don’t know me, and now you I need me to be well? Why do you even care?”

  She looked from me back to the road. Conflict was clear on her face illuminated by the dash lights.

  “I just do,” she said simply.

  I waited for more but she gave me no other explanation.

  “I’ll go back to the house,” I said defeated and tired.

  We drove back in silence. Roger was still sitting on the couch when I walk in. Nathan, Josh, and Sheldon were gone from the room. The doctor remained, but the other man was gone. I sat beside Roger and listened as Piper climbed the stairs. I would press her to say what she meant by she needed me to be well.

  I listened as Roger began to talk, and the doctor joined in to explain how to become drug-free. I sat numbly and nodded in understanding that this was a pivotal point in my life. I was ready to be clean and accepted their help.

  It was late by the time we finished. I was to start right then. All drugs were gone. No drinking. No nothing. The doctor would treat my withdrawal as much as he was able, but I would work toward being completely off that also.

  “With hard work and commitment, you will be successful,” he said, and so I agreed that I would confront my drug use, the abuse of my body.

  I was given two pills, and told to go to bed. Tomorrow was the first day of the rest of my life.

  Roger looked at me sadly.

  “Do you want this?” he asked me.

  I nodded.

  “No, Ryan, listen to me. Do YOU want this, or do you want to be found dead by a maid someday?”

  I winced at the memory of Molly. A pain shot through my chest at the thought.

  I nodded slowly.