Fade to Black (The Black Trilogy Book 1)

by MC Webb

  “Yes. I’m tired Roger. To the bone. I am weary of this life. I can’t be everything to everybody anymore. I want to cut back, and maybe write some, when I’m through this, I mean.” I looked at my old friend, and saw tears in his dark eyes.

  “Let’s get you better, and then I’ll help you any way I can,” he promised, wiping his eyes.

  chapter twenty-seven

  I woke to a nearly empty house. Everyone had gone, except Piper and Nathan. Dixie was there, but I didn’t count her. My body hurt all over and went through hell. Piper came to wash my face, and hold the trash can as I threw up those first few days.

  At first, I refused to let her see me that way, but she demanded I allow her to help. I didn’t have the strength to argue so I let her try and sooth me. Nothing worked. I would sweat, vomit, spent an hour at a time in the bathroom and rolled in the bed in agony. The only thing that made me relax was the sound of Piper as she spoke.

  She told me about her own addictions. She said she just quit one night, wanting to live a way her grandmother would be proud of. She talked about her daughter, and it soothed me some to listen to the love they had. The doctor came and went, but didn’t stay long. I couldn’t grasp time. I spent my detox freezing and throwing up. I started out the pale color of corn and faded to a chalk white. Piper kept at me until I ate at least once a day.

  “You must, you must,” she would say until I gave in.

  I would watch her, memorizing every inch in detail. I decided my memory of the one day we shared did not do her justice. Piper was more beautiful than I could recall. Her face stay empty while she gently cleaned me or shaved me with a straight razor. I wasn’t concerned as she placed the blade on my neck. After each stroke, she would wipe the hair and foam across a towel on her shoulder. I was so weak, shaving was the last thing on my mind. With delicate hands, Piper healed me a little more with each touch.

  “It is a fact. You feel better when you are clean,” Piper said smiling.

  As she sponged my face and neck, she would tell me stories of her dad or of her time with Josh growing up. I loved the attention she gave me. I looked forward to watching her face as she talked. I reached up once, and traced her lower lip with my thumb interrupting a particular long story. She let me trace the line of her mouth then took my hand and gently kissed the palm, closing her eyes as she did.

  It was such an intimate thing, my heart ached. I felt cherished for being me, and not my money or the star I’d been morphed into over the last almost twenty years. I wanted Piper, in every way imaginable. I wanted to see what she looked like while she slept. Did she snore? Did her long hair tangle in a mess during the night? What did she sleep in, and how would she feel pressed against me in a comfortable bed? I couldn’t wait to get stronger. I wanted the answer to all my questions and more.

  …

  Just before Thanksgiving, Piper and I took the horses through the woods. I had taken riding lessons for a film years ago, and returning to a saddle after I’d swore I’d never do it again was a strange sensation. We slowly climbed a mountainside. I looked in wonder at the varying colors of the leaves. Cosby truly was a magical place. We paused at a bend where Piper laid flowers. I watched, not asking whom they were for, but it was obvious it was someone she loved. After she returned to her horse, we began to descend back around the mountain. We returned to the house as the sun set on our backs completely comfortable with the silence.

  I helped with Thanksgiving dinner week. I hadn’t celebrated this way before. I got a kick out of the turkey and pie Nathan insisted were his recipes. I did enjoy it though, and this was the first time everyone was to be home to see me and the progress I’d made since Halloween.

  As they arrived one by one, each showered me with complements on the healthy state I was in. I was down to two of the doctor-prescribed pills a day to help with the cravings my body still felt. I thought about using all the time like a piece of me was drifting and I couldn’t quite grab hold yet.

  Though my want of drugs was still with me, I was becoming more accustomed to be alright without them. I was eating all the time. I ran with Nathan to keep my weight in a good range and in four short weeks I got to celebrate a holiday with my family.

  But while I improved, I watched as Piper got thinner before my eyes. Worry creased her forehead. When Roger was there, I often found the two of them in deep discussion. When I entered the room, they would go silent. Whatever it was that was causing her discomfort, I hoped it wasn’t me.

  Piper began hanging sheets on the walls and draping them over the furniture in parts of the house we were not using. When I asked, she told me that she was going on a trip after the New Year. I found I looked at the calendar a few times a day.

  By Christmas, I was dreading leaving. My color was the light mocha it had been when I was a child. This pleased Piper and that knowledge fueled me on the get as strong as I could. We often sat alone talking about our childhoods or life experiences, but never spoke of Louisiana. I feared losing the deep connection I had started with her if I brought it up. I was craving her company and just as I did on the beach, I felt a magnetic pull toward Piper. We could sit in silence or chat like old friends, sipping coffee on the screened-in porch, watching deer come and go in the distance.

  On Christmas Day, we all ate a huge breakfast, with chocolate chip pancakes, bacon, sausages, eggs, and potatoes. We were stuffed and happy when we sat down to open gifts. Piper gave me a Perez Hilton T-shirt that was the brightest pink I’d ever seen. I wore it proudly. He’d been a fan of mine for years, so I was glad to support him in this simple way.

  A dinner fit for royalty was served and almost entirely consumed. When all was quiet, and we had finished watching It’s a Wonderful Life, we began saying our good-nights, and I asked Piper to stay with me for just a moment while the others left us. We sat in front of the fire.

  I don’t know why I was so nervous, but I was. I gave her the box I’d carried in my pocket all day. When she saw it, she smiled.

  “I’ll never forget what you have done for me. My time with you, and I mean all my time with you, will live in me forever.” I said this so she knew I meant Louisiana, as well as Cosby.

  She started to say, “You shouldn’t have,” but I stopped her.

  “Can I appreciate you, for just a moment, please?”

  She opened the box slowly, eyeing the necklace inside as if it were the Hope Diamond. She read the inscription on the white gold pendent, dangling from a shiny white gold chain.

  “For where we have been, and to where we are going, my love.”

  I watched several different emotions cross her delicate features. Landing on one of appreciation, her dark brown eyes filled with tears. She put her hands over her face and cried. I immediately began to apologize.

  “Here, it’s corny I know. I can send it back,” I said, reaching for the box.

  She shook her head, wiping her eyes.

  “No, no, no. It’s beautiful.” She snubbed.

  I patted her knee awkwardly.

  “Then what is it? Why has this upset you?”

  I gave her a moment as she wiped her eyes and calmed slightly. I was afraid she’d start crying again so I stayed quiet so not to trigger anything.

  “Oh, Ryan, I’m so sorry.”

  “Piper, you have nothing to feel sorry about.”

  She dabbed at her eyes with a Kleenex from the coffee table.

  “Just tell me Piper, it’s okay,” I assured her, not having a clue as to why she was so emotional. She just stared at me for a long moment as if searching for words.

  “I couldn’t meet you,” she said, picking a random thought, I assumed. “I couldn’t meet you because-”

  Piper was breathing fast, almost panicky.

  “Lana died. Nathan was shot, and there was blood everywhere, and I was married at the time, or I thought I was, and I had to come back home, and then I slit my arm open, I don’t know if I wanted to die or not, I think I did, but then Matthew showed up,”
She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. “I couldn’t meet you-,” she said again in a soft voice.

  My thoughts tumbled around, but then clarity came.

  “Because Nathan got shot?” I finished.

  She nodded.

  “I was going to leave a note at the car, but it was gone when I left that night. I remember,” I said.

  She nodded in understanding.

  “You were married?”

  She looked up at me helplessly in obvious internal turmoil.

  “I never was. I thought I was, but it wasn’t legal.”

  I tried to follow her, but she was talking so fast, on the brink of hysterics again.

  “It’s okay,” I said, but she stood, still holding the box.

  “Don’t you see, it’s not? It’s not okay Ryan!”

  I stood also.

  “Well, spit it out then, damn it. I don’t understand.”

  She bit her lower lip, and shut her eyes. Placing a hand on my chest.

  “Soon we must talk, but right now I’m tired, okay?”

  “Piper, can’t you talk now?” I asked slightly annoyed.

  “I promise, we will soon. I just can’t think right now. Give me a little time? Please?”

  “Of course,” I answered, and then I asked, “Soon?”

  Piper nodded, and I kissed her forehead

  “Everything’s going to be okay. Okay?” I asked, unsure myself.

  She nodded again, looking at the floor. I placed my finger under her chin. Reaching down to the coffee table, I picked up a small branch of mistletoe, and I placed it above my head.

  “Let’s end the night on a happy note?” I raised my eyebrows playfully.

  Piper grinned at me as I leaned in to kiss her. Her lips sent waves of electricity through me. In a matter of seconds, we were kissing heavy, mistletoe forgotten. Breathless, I pulled Piper into me hard. Abandoning her mouth, I went for her throat. Her arms were locked around my neck, and she was responding with just as much need and desire as I had. I laid her down on the couch, my mouth back on hers now.

  We didn’t need to talk tonight, kissing was much better anyway. I placed my hand on her side, working up to her breast. She reached down between us, feeling the bulge through my jeans. I groaned in agony, grinding into her center.

  “Excuse me?”

  We became perfectly still locking eyes.

  “Shit,” I said, as Nathan knocked on the coffee table.

  I moved off of Piper, placing a pillow from the couch over me. Piper scrambled to pull her shirt down, and sat up.

  “Phone,” Nathan growled to Piper, neither amused nor embarrassed, but rather cold as ice. Then he walked from the room.

  I watched him go, shooting daggers from my eyes. Piper hurried from the room, throwing me an apologetic look as she went.

  I fell asleep on the couch alone. Piper must have returned at some point, because I woke at three in the morning with a blanket on top of me and Dixie snoring beside my face.

  I fought the urge to sneak into Piper’s bed. Nathan would probably shoot me thinking me an intruder, then I thought he might shoot me for fun after catching me with Piper.

  I understand to whole “big brother thing” but he seemed really protective. I wondered absently if it was my unstable history with random women over the years. That’s enough to cause any brother to feel a little hesitant with my involvement. I made a mental note to share with Nathan that Piper was not some fling I would have while I’m here. I actually want to be with Piper. Be with her? I didn’t know the first thing about relationships. I mostly dated models that were readily available to me at every turn of my career. We did our drugs, had our fun then I moved on to the next city and next model.

  Sure, there was a few that wanted relationships with me but I learned quickly it was not for me. I had my dates at various events in Hollywood, giving them exposure to the public by way of cameras or tabloids. It was always good for them in the long run and good for me at the time because exposure was really all they wanted from me anyway. They all wanted to be a star.

  I suppose this did make me a bad candidate to be with Piper in Nathan’s eyes. One thing’s for sure, Piper desired me just as much as I did her, that much I was sure off. The years hadn’t changed that about us.

  The next day I got the cold shoulder from big brother. Nathan made sure to stay with one of us, never giving us time alone. I got the impression he was waiting for something, but what, I had no clue. Whatever was going on with him made him moody and protective of Piper which in turn made me moody. I was waiting on a word to indicate exactly how he was feeling. I didn’t have to wait long. He didn’t waste time and that afternoon he spoke without preamble.

  “She ain’t one of your throw-aways Ryan,” he told me in a low voice, almost sounding threatening when we alone in the kitchen.

  “I know that,” I said, just as threatening.

  I was more than a little hurt that he thought I would use Piper like an extra on a film set, but on the other hand, Nathan had witnessed and participated in many nights with countless, nameless females—throw-aways, as he called them.

  “I know that,” I said again, understanding now. “She’s unlike anyone I have ever met before. I’ve spent years trying to find her.”

  Nathan looked confused at my admission. His eyebrows knitted in a deep V. “Years?”

  “We met in Louisiana. You remember? I had no idea she was your sister, obviously.”

  Nathan’s face became dark. I knew he was thinking of Louisiana and Lana. I did not push the subject further. I left him in silence to think.

  New Year’s Eve came, wet and freezing. Fortunately, Nathan was playing a private gig that night, and I was watching the clock until it was time for him to go. The intensity that surrounded Piper and me was palpable. It pulsed in the air when we were together. So it was no surprise we were intertwined in each other as soon as the door shut behind Nathan.

  “Wait,” Piper said, breathless

  “Why?” I asked, between her lips.

  “He might come back,” she said, pushing my arms off, but not leaving my mouth. “Oh, I know,” Piper said, wide-eyed, pulling back from me, and leading me to the room I knew she delivered babies in.

  I had her shirt off before we walked through the door. Piper, kicked it shut with her foot and locked it without looking. She pulled at my jeans, and I worked off her bra. Her mouth was enough to drive a man insane, but add her warm body, and I was in orbit. She bit at me teasingly. I sat her down on a bleached white sheet, and became reacquainted with her topography.

  Sucking on soft flesh, kissing her inner thighs until she panted like a puppy. She quivered beneath me, and then turned to lay me down as she worked her way up and down my body. My hands had to touch her. My mouth had to stay in contact with her. She gave in as I pulled her on top of me, and held her as she began to rock.

  The hunger Piper had drove me crazy, and when she began to tense with orgasm, I gave in as well. I collapsed back on the bed, taking Piper with me. We lay still until our breathing was normal once more.

  “This is the birthing room then?” I said and she giggled from under her hair.

  “Yes, it is, this is my favorite room in the house, and I have a birthing tub. Would you like to see?”

  She sat up smiling, ruddy in the face.

  Ten minutes later, we were submerged in the tub, chest deep in bubbles. I waited until she was relaxed to bring up something I didn’t even think of until we were in the water.”

  “Look, my blood work was fine, as I’m sure you saw the report, but we didn’t use anything. Would you happen to be on the pill?”

  I hated these conversation and I’m normally the poster boy for condoms, but considering the situation and the person, it never even crossed my mind.

  “I can’t have any more children,” Piper said a little embarrassed.

  “Oh, okay.” I took her hands and guided her closer to me. I wanted to change the subject. “I’ve
never taken a bubble bath. This is a little romantic.” I said grinning.

  “Ah, if we only had candles,” Piper said, straddling me.

  “Please, no. That would be too cliché, would it not?” I said, as she was running her fingers through my hair. I watched her breasts dance in the water.

  “I suppose,” she purred.

  I placed her hand on my cheek and closed my eyes, suddenly aware I had Piper all to myself.

  “Where have you been, my love? Where have you been all these years?”

  Piper didn’t respond. I pulled her face to my chest, cradling her. I searched, and found the scar on her shoulder blade that had me puzzled so many years ago. I trailed a finger down her spine and then raised her face to touch the scar under her eye. I leaned forward and kissed it. Piper traced my face like a blind person would do, memorizing every detail of every line on its surface.

  One of us hit the stopper plug, and water began to drain. We took no notice, but continued this form of making love. Only suds covered us as our hands searched the more delicate parts of each other.

  The tips of Piper’s hair were wet and stuck to her body. I could not imagine anything more beautiful. Her eyes were dark from her mascara, causing her to look wild in the brightly lit tub. I probed her, and she responded favorably to the touch of my hands between her legs. I guided her to lie back, and allow me to have my way. She watched me as I began to find the places that pleased her most. Greater than any high I’d felt, I devoured her flesh.

  She began to whine and pull at me to move forward her. I traced her nub before I entered, setting her legs to shaking. Her back arched, and I joined her in climax, once more wishing this could go on all night. If I had my way, we would do just that.

  chapter twenty-eight

  “Piper? Are you in there?”

  I jumped, startled by the pounding on the door. We had fallen asleep, and the light outside gave no indication of what time it was.

  “Ryan? Piper? Open the goddamned door, or I’ll kick it in!”

  Nathan was yelling like the house was on fire.