Rent-a-Boyfriend

by Celia Fay

  I don’t know if he meant for it, but his words spread a bittersweet feeling through my gut. I don’t like staying in the house either, but I cope by holing up inside it instead. There’s more to this guy than the annoying front. But the feeling’s gone as quickly as it comes.

  “Come on,” he exclaims, grabbing my wrist. “I want to show you something!”

  He leads me to a tunnel of stars. And it’s so beautiful that I’m actually at a loss of words to describe it. It’s just… a tunnel, but the curved walls are embedded with countless twinkling lights. It looks like the entire thing is shimmering.

  So yeah. A tunnel of stars.

  “Damn,” I breathe out.

  Kai makes a noise of agreement mixed with pride. “It’s not scientific, but it’s pretty, right?”

  “Yes.”

  Kris would like this place. He’s always been obsessed with stars. Luke too, because of Kris. Amber likes twinkling things that symbolize hope. Mark would probably like it too. But I’m here with Kai – someone I’ve only met two times but is pretending to be the closest person to me.

  Fuck, I don’t even know his last name.

  “Why does this place feel so intimate?” I accidentally mutter out loud.

  “Do you mean romantic? Because I think so too. Perfect for dates,” Kai replies. “We’re on a date, right?”

  “…Yeah.”

  We stroll down the tunnel. Kai’s quiet for once and I take in all the beauty.

  “Hmm… we should take a picture together to show Mark,” Kai suggests when we get near the end.

  I side-eye him. “Is he the boss that we have to report to?”

  Kai chuckles. “Don’t tell me you weren’t thinking of it too.”

  I purse my lips because damn, he’s right. “Fine,” I grumble.

  With my agreement, he hooks an arm around my neck. Unabashedly, he pulls us closer and leans his head against my shoulder.

  “You know,” he murmurs as he holds up his phone, “in stories, someone would distract the other and then go for a surprise kiss right when the camera goes off.”

  I stare at our mirror image on the phone screen. “Uh… let’s not.”

  “Not yet?” Kai cranes his neck to look at the real me. I keep staring at the digital version of him. “Okay, fine,” he sing-songs.

  He presses the camera button.

  And kisses me anyway.

  “What the fuck?” I screech, flailing and scrambling away from him. I hold my cheek as if it’s been slapped.

  Kai laughs, long and loud. When he catches me flaring at him, he wipes all mirth from his face. “Sorry,” he mumbles.

  I sigh deeply. It’s annoying and downright fucking rude that he kissed me when I clearly said no. But seeing his expression made me soften a little. I’m the one paying him to pretend he’s attracted to me anyway.

  “Just show me the picture.”

  He obeys and I take in the selfie. In the picture, we look perfectly like a quirky couple in love. Kai’s eyes are scrunched, but he’s looking at me warmly. My face is frozen at the moment it transformed from a stiff smile to shock. I look dumb, but the entire picture looks… kind of cute? If I really had to admit it?

  “Can I send it?” Kai asks eagerly.

  “Fine,” I answer, resigned.

  “Can I post it on social media?”

  “Now you’re really pushing it.”

  Kai pouts, but doesn’t keep pestering.

  Mark replies when we’re on our way back. Kai stops me from checking my phone because, “Texting and driving is dangerous! You might kill me… and yourself.”

  He shoves his phone into my face instead, as if that’s any better. “Fucking lord,” I mutter under my breath. “Are you sure we’re the same age?”

  “We are?” he asks, taking a break from gazing at our selfie.

  “Clearly not our mental age though,” I retort.

  Kai snickers. “Actually… I beg to differ. Mark told me a lot of stories about you…”

  I slam down on the brakes and we both lurch forward – not because of Kai’s words though, but because an asshole suddenly cut us off and there was a red light. But I take the opportunity to glare at my “boyfriend.”

  “Everything he said is either a lie or his fault. Don’t speak a word about them,” I threaten, my face turning red. Hopefully it’s too dark to see the blush.

  He smiles innocently. “I thought it’ll be more convincing if I know embarrassing stories about you,” he sing-songs.

  “No,” I moan. This guy can seriously blackmail the shit out of me now. My future and life is in his hands, in more ways than one. “Remind me to never piss you off.”

  “Everything can be forgiven if you give me a kiss.”

  “No,” I reply without looking away from the road.

  “Or a cup of green tea and a bowl of beef ramen.”

  Back home, I crawl into bed and make a tent out of the thin cover like I always did in elementary school. Turning on my phone, it illuminates the tent in blue light.

  Going to my photos, I stare at the selfie taken today. It’s been approximately 1000 days since someone last kissed me.

  Maybe I should just relax and enjoy this relationship for as long as it will last. Forget that it’s fake and Kai’s only in my life because I’m paying him. (Or maybe he’s only here because of Mark…)

  Just forget about why it’s happening and focus on what’s happening.

  Chapter 4

  Monday, I have to figure out a way to make sure we can still get the business deal with the Fiscones. If they think like my dad, they might get a bit disappointed when I show up with Kai at the dinner. We need to have a solid proposal so they’ll sign the deal even if I’m not going to date their daughter.

  “You’re very distracted today,” old Lee says. I look up to see him looming in front of me. He gazes at me with fatherly eyes. As in, a slightly disappointed father who’s ready for interrogation. Okay, so I’ve been spacing out a bit…

  “What are you thinking about?”

  “Uh, the Fiscones,” I reply truthfully. “Anything important scheduled today?”

  “A video conference with the Japanese office in two hours,” my secretary answers without missing a beat. “Just check up on their business and ask about the AI research. It’s not much, but your father places great importance on these things. And you should really look at your own schedule more often,” he reprimands.

  “But that’s why I have you!”

  Lee shakes his head. “There’s more to my job description than helping you remember things.”

  “Shouldn’t they be sleeping by now?”

  He shrugs. “They chose this time.”

  Okay, so I have to talk with our other office. Japan…

  “Hey, who writes the blog articles for our website?”

  If Lee finds my question strange, he doesn’t show it. “The departments in charge of each section hire their own writers.”

  “Oh.” I’m not really sure why I asked that question. I already know the answer anyway. And it was my idea for the company to keep a blog for each of our services and have social media presence in the first place.

  “Do you need anything else?”

  “No,” I mutter. “And I promise I’ll stop getting distracted by nothing.”

  Lee chuckles and goes back to his desk.

  Exactly one hour and 48 minutes later, he returns to tell me to get ready for the conference. A frazzled assistant runs over while I’m looking over the supplementary documents.

  “Wha-”

  “Sir, our interpreter just told us she can’t make it!”

  My mind goes blank. This is my first time directly communicating with another office and it’s going badly already. “They don’t speak English?”

  The assistant fidgets, but Lee answers for him. “It’s not their first language and it’s always better to have an interpreter available. Just in case.”

  “Shouldn’t they have an in
terpreter too?”

  “We’re looking for a substitute right now,” the assistant finally adds. “For the worst case scenario, we’ll reschedule.”

  “This is so fucking unprofessional,” I growl.

  My phone vibrates and Kai’s contact picture flashes on the screen. Wait… can it be this much of a coincidence? But whatever. I don’t have time to worry about technicalities. Grabbing my phone, I stab at the screen.

  “Do you speak Japanese?” I demand.

  “Yeah?” Kai’s voice is muffled and confused.

  “Fluently?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Come to the office now.”

  “Wha – ”

  I hang up on his reply. “I found an interpreter,” I report.

  The other two in the room gape at me. Lee reacts first. “How long will it take him to get here?”

  “Uh… twenty minutes?” I guess.

  “Great. I’ll tell them that there are technical difficulties and the meeting will be delayed for ten minutes.”

  I chew on my lower lip. “Wait…” Lee raises an eyebrow and waits. “Let’s just get on with it at the scheduled time. I’ll make do until the interpreter arrives.”

  Lee considers what can go wrong. If I mess this thing up, it’ll be the perfect excuse to tell my dad I can’t handle the business. I can’t even hold small talk until the goddamn interpreter gets here. But I don’t want to seem so incompetent, even if it’s the truth. (I majored in history, not business or management goddammit.)

  And anyway, I have Kai…

  A few minutes later, I’m sitting in front of the large screen with an earpiece in to hear translations that won’t be happening yet.

  The other end of the call comes into view. The head of the Japanese office is a very pretty lady. And she looks like she knows what she’s doing.

  “Hello, Mr. Worcester,” she greets. And her English is fine! There’s none of that stereotypical accent and I relax a bit. Just a bit.

  With a smile, I greet her back. “Hello, Ms. Goto. It must be late for you.”

  “We’re used to working with different time zones.” Her smile is very proper and standard.

  I laugh awkwardly and… oh, shit, now what?

  “Ah, Mr. Worcester, I heard that you’re planning on branching into the printing and publishing industry.”

  Ms. Goto’s voice breaks through my thoughts and I try to adjust my facial muscles. “Yes, that’s true. It’s in the works.”

  “Our artificial intelligence, film, amusement parts, and now printing… don’t you think you’re dabbling in too much?”

  I stare at her image, unblinkingly. If I don’t move, would I be able to pretend the connection was bad and buy me some time to reply? Uh… “All our services are with our clients and markets in mind. We only do what we have confidence and believe in,” I ramble.

  Suddenly, I hear breathing in my earpiece. My eyes flitting over to Lee, he gives me an “okay” gesture. Kai has finally arrived.

  As the conversation shifts and Ms. Goto somehow gets the signal to switch to Japanese, I realize that Kai is pretty good at this. Lee said that each department hires their own writers, but it’s like Kai knows about each and every of our services. It’s nice to hear his voice with a serious tone too.

  It’s still so much of a coincidence though. What if Kai killed the original interpreter or made her leave so that he could come save the day? I’d be dating a serial killer, holy shit.

  But thinking like a dramatic novelist is more of a Kai thing. Shit, he’s seriously rubbing off on me now.

  Then I realize he’s repeated a question twice in my ear. I redden and quickly try to answer.

  Before he translates the next sentence, he says, “I know my voice is sexy, but you should stop getting distracted.”

  That must be the motto for today.

  The video call lasts for the scheduled hour, not a minute more or less. I smile at Ms. Goto and say goodbye, and the screen finally turns black. I push myself backwards in the roll-y chair and stretch, yawning obnoxiously.

  This job really isn’t for me.

  The door opens with a click, cutting me off half-yawn. I spin around, but relax a bit when I see Kai. He flounces in and perches on top of the table like he owns the place. I’d be annoyed, but I’m indebted to him now.

  “Uh… Thanks,” I say awkwardly. “I owe you.”

  Kai beams. “No problem. Just treat me to another date or something.”

  My eyes bug out at “another.” I almost hiss at him to shut the fuck up, but he wiggles his eyebrows and my words get stuck in my throat. “Okay,” I squeeze out. “But where?”

  His beaming smile turns into a devilish smirk. “Since I already know so many great stories about you, we can go to Anya’s café and she can tell you all about me.” I make a face. “I’m voluntarily giving you dirt on me. Aren’t I nice?”

  “Uh… sure,” I agree, even though I actually hate lattes. I just need to order my own drink tonight, I guess.

  When I tell Lee that I’m getting off work early, his eyes twinkle like he knows something he shouldn’t.

  I realize that the café is practically right next to the office. We get there within five minutes, even with the traffic. Why have I never noticed it before?

  Anya greets me like an old friend. Or, at least, the best friend of her practically adopted son. She gives me the “old friend” treatment and discount too. And something extra.

  Her exact words are, “I know what you’re here for. Take a seat and I’ll be right there.”

  I’m determined to enjoy the night, so I just grin. “Yeah, get me the finest dirt you have.” Glancing at Kai, I threaten dramatically, “You messed with the wrong man. You’re going to regret this.”

  Kai’s eyes widen and his eyebrows shoot up. “I don’t know what happened to you but… I kind of like this.”

  Looping an arm through mine, he pulls me to the seat from before. He plops down into the cushioned plastic chair. The little pink chair is still uncomfortable for me though.

  “She’s going to tell you about this chair. It’s really not that interesting though, so don’t be disappointed,” he tells me.

  “Don’t worry. I’m already disappointed,” I tease.

  “Hey!” Kai gasps in mock offense. “What is that supposed to mean? Rude as fuck,” he sniffs.

  My lips curl into a smirk. We wait in comfortable silence for Anya to come.

  When she finally does come, she sets a latte and hot chocolate down on the table. Kai gets up and pulls another seat for her.

  “Thanks,” she sing-songs. “Finally acting like a filial boy now that there’s someone here to impress.”

  Kai actually looks embarrassed and I snort. “The hot chocolate’s for me?” I ask.

  “Yes. The latte is for the boy. He insists on it every time, even though he doesn’t need the caffeine.”

  “It’s good to have an excuse for the insomnia.” The sentence is mumbled and it sounds like a quote from a melodramatic novel, but I hear it and it hits me hard. Why is he confusing me more and more? Why is he such a stereotypical “sad, broken boy with a happy mask” that it makes me both annoyed and attracted?

  He reminds me of my friends. And maybe of myself. And here I am, already overthinking and analyzing him when I haven’t even heard his embarrassing stories yet.

  Kai catches me staring at him and he makes a face. I make a face right back at him.

  “Okay, boys,” Anya interrupts our silent battle. I turn towards her, but in the corner of my eye, I see Kai sticking his tongue out. Forget what I said about being attracted.

  Anya leans back in her seat and crosses her legs. “What would you like to know first?”

  “Uh?” I reply intelligently. “Well, I mean, apparently my friend told him a bunch of my embarrassing stories. I just need some more leverage on him. You know…”

  Her eyes twinkle. Kai mutter something under his breath about regret, but he dutifully drin
ks his latte.

  “Hmm…” Anya starts. I lean forward, resting my elbows on the table. “Kai started coming to the café when he was in elementary school. He was so small back then – fit perfectly on this chair. I thought he was lost – and he was, mind you – so I gave him some food and thought about calling someone. He was a smart little boy and knew what I was planning though.

  “He walked over, told me that his parents know he’s here, and walked back over to his chair. He pulled out some pocket change and paid for the food too. And he was quiet, so I just left him there.”

  “He sounds like a strange kid,” I comment. “You shouldn’t have just left him there.”

  Anya chuckles. “You should’ve seen how cute he was though. I couldn’t say ‘no’ to those innocent big eyes.”

  I glance over at Kai. He opens his eyes wide and I… I guess I can see it a little. “Dangerous,” I mutter.

  “Yeah,” Anya agrees. “He kept coming back, practically every day. Sometimes, he’d take a book from the shelf to read. Mostly, he’d just eat the food and then fall asleep. Oh, but I’m sure you’re interested in the hole in the seat. Well, he likes squirming around. Even when he napped, his little butt would be moving around.”

  Taking a sip of the hot chocolate at the wrong time, I almost choke. Kai reaches over to pat my back. He slaps so hard I feel my soul flying out. “F-fuck,” I sputter.

  “Don’t die,” Kai drawls, settling back into his seat.

  “You brought me here for this,” I remind him.

  “Yes, he squirmed so much, but the hole kind of just appeared one day. You’d think that we would notice the plastic wearing away beforehand. Actually, I didn’t know until I realized there was a cushion. So I had to ask him what happened. I feel like he got bored one afternoon and started playing around with a pair of scissors. But he always denied it.”

  “Hey! You never told me you suspected me like that!” Kai burst out.

  Anya pats him on the head, but ignores him. “Would you like to hear something more interesting?”

  “Yes, please,” I answer.

  “Oh, once Kai brought over a friend. He wanted to do a prank, so he filled one cup with hot chocolate and another with soy sauce. Guess which one he drank?”