Jennifer's Triad

by Laura Anne Turner

  The rest of the girls squeal with laughter, and they all wave at us and blow us kisses, as Nellie drags me out of the living room. Following Nellie I briefly turn my head to look at Bette, and I catch her staring at our backs. For the blink of an eye there’s that melancholy look on her face, but when she feels my eyes on her, she winks at me.

  The moment Nellie and I are out of the living room and into the hallway, she pushes my back against the wall, and I nearly scream. She presses her lips against mine, and as I part my own lips, at once she pushes her tongue eagerly into my mouth. The floor shakes from the pounding beat of the music that’s blasting from the sound system in the living room, and my heart catches its rhythm as I smell Nellie’s intoxicating scent, and feel her lips and tongue. Suddenly her hands seem to be all over my body, and when her hands slip under the hem of my skimpy dress, and she squeezes my buttocks, while kissing my neck, a moan escapes me, and my arousal and need become absolutely overwhelming.

  “Oh, God, Nell, I want you so bad,” I say, my voice soft and husky.

  She grins at me fiercely. “And I want you just as bad, Jen.” Nellie seizes my hand, and pulls me behind her, and we rush down the hallway and up the wooden stairs to her darkened room.

  When we are inside she cups my face and kisses me, and then she says, “Wait a moment, Love.” Mesmerized I watch her as she rushes to her nightstand, and lights a few candles. She connects her phone to her sound-system, selects a playlist, and to my surprise Pink Floyd’s ‘Shine on you crazy diamond’, begins to play.

  Suddenly Nellie is standing right before me again, her dark eyes glistening in the candlelight. She places her right hand on the nape of my neck and pulls me closer, and we begin to kiss. Our bodies touch and brush against one another, and we explore one another with our hands, and soon our clothes come off. The sounds of our sighs and moans begin to fill the room along with the music of Pink Floyd.

  I suddenly think of Emilia. I know she’d think I was cheating on her, if she knew I was making love to Nellie, and a part of me screams I should stop what I’m doing now, but I don’t want to stop, and I know I still love Emilia, and I know I won’t love her any less if I love Nellie, too. My heart is so full of love for her, and I know that my love for Emilia doesn’t make her jealous, it only makes her happy.

  Nellie immediately senses that my thoughts have wandered off, and she asks me, “Jen? Are you alright?”

  Her question brings me back to the moment, and I smile at her rapturously, gazing into her beautiful molten dark chocolate colored eyes. “Oh yes, Nell, I’m beyond all right,” I reply softly.

  Nellie grins mischievously, and she pushes me backwards onto the bed. She climbs onto the bed with me, and straddles me. I squeal and giggle at her sudden move, but my eyes become big when she reaches into a drawer in her nightstand, and pulls out a number of black silk scarves, and holds them up to me.

  “Jenny, do you see these scarves? I want to use them to tie you up. Not because I want to hurt you, but because tonight I want to give you pleasure and love, and I don’t want you to be able to anything but lie back and accept everything I give you.” Her dark eyes search mine. “What do you think?”

  A moan escapes me, and I tremble as I reply, “Oh, God, Nellie, yes.”

  Nellie smiles sweetly, and I drown in her eyes, my heart pounding wildly, as she binds my wrists, and secures them to the posts of her bed’s headboard. She leans forward, and kisses me with infinite tenderness, before she spreads my legs, and ties my ankles to the bed. Once Sherinia did to me what Nellie’s doing to me, but it’s different now. I was just a toy to Sherinia as I later discovered, and I feel I’m more than that to Nellie. I know she loves me, and so while I feel absolutely vulnerable, I feel perfectly safe, too.

  All my rational thinking stops, as Nellie begins to caress and kiss and stroke me. She uses her fingers and tongue to make me arch my back and squirm and moan and sigh. Nellie suddenly pauses for a moment, and I hear the opening of ‘Shine on You Crazy Diamond’ again. I realize she’s set the song to play as a loop. As the long instrumental section of the song plays, she teases me, kissing my neck, squeezing my nipples, and tickling the soles of my feet, making me squirm and my hips jerk. As I hear the song’s vocals begin, Nellie becomes more passionate, burying her face between my thighs, licking me and entering me with her fingers. And she does the same thing to me every time the song plays…

  When she finally releases me from my restraints and cuddles me, kissing me tenderly, I’ve lost all sense of space and time. I’m dazed and absolutely spent, but as I begin to doze off, exhausted by Nellie’s lovemaking, I suddenly think of Emilia. My dizzy brain produces images of her holding me and stroking me, as Nellie looks up from between my thighs, her face covered with my sticky juices. When Nellie rises and straddles me, Emilia rises, too, and my two lovers kiss passionately as I watch them, overwhelmed with joy at the sight of them…

  +++

  The night after the ‘Rockers Ball’, ‘The Coldhearts’ are playing another gig at another celebration of Carnival. This time, the venue is in my hometown, at the very place my former band played last year. Things are so different now. I’m in a new band, and Sherinia is just a fading memory. Even though things are different now, I have a dilemma to deal with. There’s a song I can’t get out of my head, ‘Shine on You Crazy Diamond’, which played over and over last night while Nellie made love to me. But tonight I’m supposed to be meeting my girlfriend Emilia here.

  All my friends have come to see me play my gig with my new band. There’s Martin and his new girlfriend Maria, and Marlon and his girlfriend Sophie, and Andrea, the ex-girlfriend of my old band’s dickhead drummer. Of course Martin, my best and oldest friend was particularly happy to see me when we met before the show.

  “Hi Blacky,” he said giving me one of his bear hugs, “it’s so good to see you. Where’ve you been all these weeks? I missed you.”

  I look at Martin – it’s weird seeing him and Maria dressed as pirates including black crossbones and skull bandanas around their heads – and I’m suddenly aware of how badly I’ve neglected our friendship lately. “I’m so sorry, Martin,” I say overwhelmed with guilt, “I’ve been so busy, you know? We’ve been rehearsing new songs almost every day, and we play one or two gigs every week, plus I’ve been getting my application to college done…”

  “You’re going to college? That’s great.” Martin holds me at arm’s length, giving me a searching look, and I suddenly feel shy in my skimpy black leather shorts that don’t leave much to the imagination. Martin’s way too much like the big brother I never had after all. “Now look at you! You look beautiful, Blacky. You’ve really become one of ‘The Coldhearts’.”

  “You’re absolutely gorgeous, Jenny,” Andrea puts in enthusiastically, “Your new look is perfect for you. You look like a rock star.” She nods vigorously as she adds, “I think it’s obvious joining ‘The Coldhearts’ was the right decision for you.”

  I look down at myself – at my torn black fishnet stockings, my black knee-high boots, my black tank top, and my black leather jacket – and I grin at Andrea self-consciously. I’m embarrassed by her effusive compliments, but I’m also thrilled that one of my friends has become such a fan girl. She’s so adorable that I can’t help hugging her.

  “Thank you so much, Andrea, that’s so sweet of you to say.”

  Letting go of her I pull back, and give her a long look. “How are you doing these days?” I know it sounds like a stereotypical question, but I really mean it in earnest.

  “Oh, I’m okay, Jenny. I think I’m over Robin by now. I feel like myself again,” she says with a smile, and I smile back at her, realizing it’s the truth.

  “I’m so happy for you, Andrea. Oh, and your costume really looks cute on you! You’re like the cutest pirate wench ever!”

  She giggles and touches the blonde curls that spill out from under her red crossbones and skull bandana.

  As I keep chatting with Andrea and
Martin and my other friends, I begin to wonder where Emilia is, and with each moment that passes, I become more and more anxious. We exchanged text messages earlier, and she said she’d be coming to this gig, but I haven’t actually seen her since yesterday. Punctuality is not one of Emi’s best virtues, I know that, but still...And then I begin to wonder if somehow she could have found out about Nellie and me.

  As I become more and more anxious, I let my eyes wander over the crowd, and I suddenly notice a striking redhead wearing an eye-catching costume, that I think is some kind of pirate queen outfit. It’s a kind of uniform, with a blue micro-mini dress under a long blue coat that’s covered with gold trim, and gold knee-high boots. Beneath her blue and gold-feathered hat her long red hair flows freely over her shoulders. My eyes are drawn to this majestic pirate queen, and as I look more closely, I see that her costume is the same blue shade as her eyes. My heartbeat accelerates, and my stomach clenches – the gorgeous pirate queen is Emilia! She’s never been more beautiful! I suddenly remember how my night of lovemaking with Nellie ended – with my little fantasy of her and Emilia kissing, reminding me of my dilemma – how can it be that I love two girls at the same time?

  As Emilia joins our little group, her eyes are on me, and my stomach is in knots. All I can do is stare at her in utter stupefaction. She keeps on smiling a bright smile, even though her smile falters briefly when she sees my outfit.

  “Hello, sweetheart,” she says as she puts her hands on my hips, and pulls me closer to her. “I missed you.”

  “Hi Emi,” I stammer, but before I can even speak more, she presses her lips against mine for a tender kiss. My eyes flutter shut and my lips part, as Emilia slips her tongue into my mouth.

  We break our kiss, and I gasp, staring at her wild-eyed. “Oh, my God, Emi, you’re gorgeous. Where’d you get that outfit? I don’t even have the words to tell you how beautiful you are in it.”

  Emilia tries to smile seductively, but then she can’t help giggling. She’s obviously very pleased with the effect she’s had on me. “It’s from a costume rental place, silly,” she explains, stroking my hair. “I wanted to look pretty for you,” she whispers into my ear.

  I swallow hard. “You’re so beyond pretty tonight, Emi,” I blurt out.

  Before I can say anything else Nellie joins our group. ‘Shine on You Crazy Diamond’ starts playing in my head again, and while my stomach is in knots, little droplets of sweat appear on my forehead. I just hope Emilia doesn’t notice anything.

  Fortunately, Emilia’s staring at Nellie, apparently startled by her transformation into a sexy Goth Girl. She’s wearing black lipstick, along with black mascara and black eye shadow and eyeliner that make her dark eyes look enormous and powerfully alluring. Does Emilia get lost in Nellie’s molten chocolate eyes for a moment, or am I just imagining that? I still can’t believe I love them both.

  Nellie smiles sweetly at Emilia. “Hello Emilia, it’s so good to see you again. You look absolutely stunning tonight,” she says appreciatively.

  “Wow, so do you,” Emilia says, just as appreciatively, looking Nellie up and down. I follow Emilia’s gaze, and of course she’s absolutely right. Tonight Nellie’s wearing black vinyl shorts with multiple zippers, black fishnets, and something like black fishnets on her toned arms. She’s also wearing a black t-shirt with a cute kitten on it that’s captioned ‘My kitty listens to Metal’.

  Nellie smiles back at Emi, before she turns her attention to me. “We need you backstage, Jenny. Our set’s going to be starting soon.”

  I nod to her and turn to Emilia, who puts her hands on my shoulders and kisses me tenderly. “Good luck, Jen.”

  “Good luck, Jenny, rock the house,” all of my friends say, giving me hugs and high fives, before I leave them to follow Nellie to the backstage area.

  The rush of adrenaline that usually follows the chants and high five of ‘The Coldhearts’ pre-show ritual helps me to overcome my inner turmoil. I have no trouble at all focusing on our performance as soon as we hit the stage. As tonight’s headliner we get to play our full ninety minutes set. The energy I feel as we begin to play, and the cheers of the crowd and the shrill cries of teenage girls make me forget my anxiety, at least for the moment. I’m even more excited since we play another new song I’ve written for the very first time. The song’s called ‘Back from the Dead’, and it’s based on my weird vampire dreams about my old lover Sherinia.

  ‘I loved a vampiress, and I thought she loved me, but she laughed as I bled, and she left me for dead. I grew cold when she left me, dying cold on the ground, but when the dawn came, love brought me back from the dead.’

  I’ve heard Bette sing the words I’ve written before, of course, because we’ve rehearsed the song a couple of times, but now her voice makes me shiver. It feels like Bette were me, and she’d actually lived through what I’d lived through, or something very much like it, and as if my pain were her own. It suddenly dawns on me that the lyrics of my two new songs are very similar in their message. But then Bette roars my song’s last verse triumphantly:

  ‘Now love fills my heart, love makes my blood run, now I burn with my love as hot as the sun! And the vampiress I loved is long fled and gone!’

  There’s a moment’s shocked silence, but then the crowd roars its approval, and girls weep and scream. I’m shocked and thrilled to note how powerfully my words have affected people. Adrenaline runs through my veins, and keeps me going through the rest of our show. When we eventually finish our gig with our encore ‘Love Potion No.9’ I feel drained however.

  After our usual ritual the time has come for me to take my leave of my band mates. Ina joins Bette in hugging me.

  “Take care of yourself, Babe,” Bette says softly.

  “Yes, Jenny, we love you,” Ina adds. They’ve both seemed to sense that I’m feeling down. As of course Nellie does.

  “I know you’re going home to Emilia tonight, Jen,” she says as she embraces me tenderly. I nod and sigh, and she smiles as she gazes deeply into my eyes. “Enjoy your night with her, then. I want you to be happy. I want both of you to be happy, Sweetheart.”

  I sigh again. “Thank you, Nell, I love you. I’ll call you tomorrow.” I pull her to me, and we kiss softly. “Good night, Nellie.”

  “Good night, Jenny.”

  I hate leaving Nellie like that, and even though I know she knows I love Emilia as well as her, and she’s happy for the two of us, I can’t help feeling as if I’m cheating on her with Emilia. I pause for a moment and take a deep breath before I walk out the exit. There are Crazy Bitches streaming towards the backstage area, and some of them glance at me and scream ‘Jenny’. But suddenly there’s Jana, the Butch girl, who’s dressed as Xena, and she gestures them to leave me alone. I give her a quick smile of gratitude, and she smiles back, giving me wink.

  I find Emilia standing among the little group of my friends. They’re all smiling at me. Before I can even reach Emilia, Martin grabs my wrist, and hugs me tight.

  “You’re fucking amazing, Blacky,” he says, shaking his head. “I admit I wasn’t happy about your becoming a member of ‘The Coldhearts’, but seeing you on stage with them is just incredible. It’s like you become a different person when you’re on stage with them. It’s scary how much like them you are.”

  Not knowing what to say to my best friend, I just reply, “Thank you, Martin,” and hug him back. His words make me think about Emilia, of how she was afraid I was becoming a different person, and how she was scared I’d become more like the other members of ‘The Coldhearts’. I do my best to hide these scary thoughts.

  But then Emilia is there, wrapping her arms around me, saying softly, “You were wonderful, Jenny, I’m so proud of you. That was an awesome gig.” She kisses my sweaty forehead, my nose, and my lips. “Let’s go home now, sweetheart, I don’t want to be here any longer.”

  +++

  Half an hour later we’re in Emilia’s tiny apartment. I sit down on her foldout sofa, leaning bac
k, while Emi takes off her feathered hat, hangs up the long coat from her costume, and takes off her boots. When she’s done, a smile appears on her pretty face, as she heads off to the tiny kitchen section, and comes back with two bottles of beer. She sets them down on the coffee table in front of me. We clink our bottles, and I’m thirsty enough to down half the bottle in a few eager gulps, before I even notice just how good this particular beer tastes. I check, and it’s my favorite brand! I look at Emi with my mouth hanging open, and she grins at me.

  “I knew you’d be thirsty after your gig, Jenny.” She giggles. “So I bought a few bottles of your favorite lager.” She shrugs her shoulders, as if it were nothing, but I know that this particular brand isn’t quite cheap. “Oh, and I thought you’d be hungry, too,” she goes on, “so I made some sandwiches.” Emilia pads off to the fridge and returns with a covered platter.

  I look up at her as she sets the platter down on the table, and I suddenly feel I have tears in my eyes. “That’s so sweet of you, Emi” I say, “and now that you mention it, I really am hungry.”

  In fact I do not only feel hungry, but also terribly guilty. Emi is being so kind, and she’s so beautiful, and I love her so much. I feel awful for cheating on her. I am cheating on her, because she doesn’t know about Nellie and me. I need to tell her, but just not now.

  Emilia sits down beside me, smiling, and kisses my cheek. She takes the cover off the platter, and my eyes widen. They’re not ordinary sandwiches. They’re made with pretzel rolls, black forest ham and Gouda cheese, with mustard, and what looks like thin slices of pear. Leaning forward, I pick up one of the sandwiches, bite into it, and moan with pleasure. Emilia watches me with a smirk on her face, while she grabs her beer bottle, and takes a sip. She keeps constant eye contact. After a while she leans back on her elbow, and looks at me thoughtfully.