Falling to Pieces

by Michelle Louise

  I quickly turned, not wanting to be seen and made my way back to my car. I ripped off his hoodie and threw it into the backseat. The welling tears began to drain from my eyes the minute I pulled onto the main road. This is exactly what I had been avoiding. All along I knew Sam had the ability to break my heart. I never should have let my guard down.

  What was I thinking?

  Shit.

  What was he thinking?

  He knew I was coming out there to meet him. Just last night he wanted me, only me. Maybe it was my fault for waiting too long to make a decision, but seriously, twenty-four fucking hours later and he already has another girl lined up.

  To hell with that.

  Not only did I choose, but I chose him. Only to find him lip locked with icky Vicky.

  I’m done and I can promise one thing. I will never let this happen again. This is why I don’t do these bullshit feelings.

  Pulling into the gas station parking lot I find my phone and do something that I know will take the pain away. I tried to warn Sam that I was damaged, but he didn’t want to see it. So now, I need to show him.

  I’m ready to take you up on that offer.

  Luke: Damn sexy, I’ve been waiting for you to give in. Come to my house. NOW.

  On my way.

  Before I could change my mind, I leave the parking lot and drive to Luke’s house. In the back of my head I know what I am doing is more to hurt Sam, than to ease my pain. Luke has been trying to hook up with me for a while now, but I hadn’t been interested. Until now. He is the catcher for the school’s baseball team and Sam is the pitcher. Call me a bitch, but right now, I’m totally okay with it.

  CHAPTER ONE

  THE PRESENT

  A brightness shining directly in my face awakes me from what should be a peaceful slumber. In most cases, the obnoxious snoring coming from behind me would enough to wake anyone. However, the sunlight, for me is like death to a vampire.

  How can people sleep in such conditions?

  I am not even sure what time it is, but I can guarantee it is way to early for me to be awake after the previous late night.

  On the plus side, it does give me an opportunity to make a quick exit before…

  Wait? Who did I end up going home with last night?

  Turning my head, my eyes drink up the naked body behind me.

  Dave.

  That’s right. He is the lead singer and guitar player in a band that has been playing at Penny’s lately. Typically, I make it a point to stay away from guys in bands. Most of them always seem to have an air of entitlement about them and think that every girl wants to bang a rock star. Dream on. I like men to be confident, not cocky.

  I met Dave at the bar before the band’s first set, and was unaware of who he was. We had a few shots together and hit it off instantly. It should have been a dead giveaway considering he could have been a Trent Reznor look-a-like; long black hair and tattoos covering his arms. The fact that he didn’t throw me the ‘I’m in the band’ card gained him a few extra points.

  He offered to pay my tab and then headed toward the stage. Looking directly at me as he jumped behind the microphone and smiled, I was sure he noticed my shocked expression. It was now clear where his confidence came from and if that wasn’t enough to get me in bed, the voice that followed sealed the deal. I don’t always work that quickly with a guy I just met, but there was no chance in hell I would turn him down. And I’m glad I didn’t. We could definitely do this again.

  Very Soon.

  Cautious to not wake sleeping beauty, I slip out of the bed looking around the sparsely furnished room for my clothes, which were thrown in every direction last night. My panties, luckily, were right next to the bed. My bra on the other hand landed on the dresser, not too far from my top, but my pants were across the room close to the door. Gathering the scattered articles of clothing, I make my way into the connected bathroom.

  Catching sight of my reflection in the vanity mirror, I practically jumped out of my own skin.

  Yikes!

  It was a small miracle to wake up before Dave and spare him the agony of having to see this mess of hair on my head and black smeared under my eyes. Turning the faucet on low, I wet my fingers before attempting to clean up some of the horrid mascara remnants. With that taken care of, I pull my trusty hair tie off my wrist and throw my hair up in a sloppy bun. This will have to do for now, until I make it home and can wash the rest of last night off me.

  Climbing back into my clothes, I notice my body aches a little, sore from the late night activities. Dave was a fun time for sure.

  Stealing a swig of mouthwash, I give my teeth a quick swish around before attempting my exit.

  Slowly opening the door, I tiptoe out of the bathroom. The whole awkward morning after routine is the worst, so I do my best to avoid them all together. Just shy of the door, I take one last look at the sexy, tattooed, musician and wind up walking straight into the doorframe.

  “Shit.” I hiss rubbing the side of my head.

  The rustling of the sheets informs me that my stealthy exit failed miserably.

  “Hey, are you alright?” Dave asks, sitting up in the bed, his voice gravelly from sleep.

  “Yeah, I’m good. My mom didn’t name me Grace for a reason.”

  Typical Cheyenne fashion; always a bit clumsy.

  “Leaving?” Unashamed, Dave stands from the bed and stretches in all his naked glory.

  Dave wasn’t overly muscular, but had enough definition to showcase his abs and the uber sexy v that leads straight to the gold. Distracted by admiring the beautiful artwork decorating almost every inch of his body, I forgot he had even asked a question until he was standing right in front of me smirking. It would be easy to spend an eternity just admiring his tattoos, and would probably take me that long to account for every one that covers the canvas.

  “Uh, yeah. I have some homework I need to finish before Monday.” I finally answer directing my eyes up towards his face. His six-foot figure towering over me, reminded me that I still need to find my heels.

  Focus Cheyenne.

  “Last night was…” he pauses to find the word, “..fun. We’re playing at Penny’s again tonight and next weekend, also. We should do this again.”

  “Maybe we will. You have my number.” I say backing away slowly.

  Not every guy ends up with my digits. I learned that lesson the hard way, after having to start blocking numbers from my phone. However, Dave seems like the kind of guy who knows the score.

  “So we’re good? Need me to walk you out or anything?” Dave asks with humor in his eyes, stepping closer to me. Yeah, he knew the score.

  “No, I think I can handle it, rockstar.” I laugh patting his chest. “I’ll see you around.”

  Turning to make my exit a strong arm wraps around my waist as he pulls me back up against his frontside.

  “You will be seeing around.” His breath against my ear and his hardening member against my back had me considering jumping right back into his bed, remembering all the things he did to me last night. I needed to get out of here. “Bye Cheyenne.”

  Smacking my ass, Dave releases me and I safely make it out of his house and into my car. Looks like I might be making a trip to Penny’s tonight to check out the local talent.

  Again.

  In desperate need of a coffee, I stop at JavaCafe on my way home, knowing Becka would be working. I don’t know how she manages going out drinking and then working the early shift the next morning. I have never done well with early mornings, especially if you want me to be fully functioning, much less pleasant. Becka, on the other hand, has been doing it since I met her freshman year when we shared a dorm room.

  The original plan was for Sawyer and I to be roommates in college, but after the accident, her family needed help with their business, which lead her to stay home for the first two years. Becka was a last minute transfer and was also in need of a roommate. The college paired us up and it was a perfect match.

/>   Now, here we are a few years later. With the addition of Sawyer last year we are practically the three amigos. Our apartment is always loud, filled with music and laughter. There is never a dull moment. Though lately, it has been more of just Becka and I, since Sawyer is practically living with her boyfriend Preston.

  Last December was a rough month for all of us after losing Austin, but more so for Sawyer. It hurt so much knowing that there wasn’t anything I could do to help ease her pain. If I could have absorbed all of her heartache and endured it myself, I would have done it in a heartbeat. But since that wasn’t an option, I did the only thing I knew how. I put my pain aside and was there for her every second she needed me to be; offering strength and hope that it would be okay. Losing Austin was also really hard for me; the three of us grew up together. But Sawyer, she had been in love with Austin, and I cannot imagine what that felt like. Again, another reason for me to avoid falling in love, unsure I would be able to survive that kind of loss.

  Walking through the door, I pushed my oversized sunglasses on top of my head and quickly spot Becka behind the counter helping a customer. Of course, she was looking cute in her customary uniform; dark green polo, khaki pants and black apron. She accessorized with a large black bow on the left side of her head wearing her choppy layers flat.

  “Well, well, look who it is. Judging by last night’s outfit I am guessing that you are just now on your way home.” Becka says shaking her head.

  “Yeah, after you mysteriously disappeared I decided to see if being a groupie was all it was cracked up to be.” I had been wondering where Becka ended up going last night. One minute she was at the bar talking with Lilly and the next she was gone; leaving me with only a text saying she’d see me later.

  “So did it live up to all the hype?”

  “As a matter of fact, hell yes it did. Damn, I don’t know why I haven’t been hooking up with musicians all along.” I order my usual coffee and decide on a chocolate chip scone. She turns to make my drink but I don’t let her get off that easily. “Oh, and don’t think I missed how you’re still withholding your whereabouts.”

  Becka shakes her head, laughing nervously, before turning back to me. “You, Cheyenne, are making way more out of this. I just ended up going back to the apartment.” Lies. I can see it in her eyes, but I will let it slide for now. I am too tired to argue. “Go grab a seat. It’s time for my break, so I will bring over your coffee and scone and sit with you for a few minutes.”

  At this hour on the weekend, with most students still in bed from a late night out, the place is like a ghost town. With practically open seating, I chose the worn, brown leather couch by the front window, where I can watch the morning runners go past.

  Crazy ass overachievers.

  Although, sometimes you can get lucky enough to catch some of guys from the football team during their morning work out run. I have always been a sucker for athletes, but my weakness lies with baseball and more specifically, the pitchers. There is just something about a pitcher’s ass.

  “I’m still shocked to be seeing you this early.” Becka says sitting down on the couch beside me, breaking my thoughts of a certain pitcher’s ass. “You know it’s before nine, right?”

  “The major downfall of not sleeping in my own bed. Some people don’t believe in curtains.”

  “I’m not so sure the lack of curtains is the issue. Not everyone tacks up a blanket in hopes to lure in a vampire. You might as well be sleeping in a dungeon.”

  This is true. Not the luring of the vampire. Although, if he looked anything like Dave, I would probably let him bite my neck. My goal is to have complete darkness when I sleep. I installed privacy blinds, along with a dark purple blanket tightly tacked against the window, and blackout curtains on top.

  “You’re right, but I love it. And I get the best sleep.”

  “Hmmm, then maybe you should try spending more nights in your own bed. Ever think of that, pal?” Becka laughs.

  “Of course I have, but that is not nearly as fun. Plus, you know I don’t bring guys back to the apartment. That is a big no-no.” I say finishing off the last of my scone and sipping my coffee.

  “Yes, one of the many Cheyenne rules. I feel like you should have your own handbook or manual by now.” Becka teases.

  The girls don’t comprehend my lifestyle and always give me a hard time, but this is my way of protecting myself. Sawyer has spent years trying to figure me out with many failed attempts at finding a guy who will break through. There has only been once when I thought it was possible, however, still unrealistic. With my so-called rules, I am able to avoid any chance of this happening or letting a guy get too close. In my research, I found that attachments start to form after about the third date and that goes strictly against rule number one. Hence, three became my limit and so far has worked brilliantly.

  “Laugh it up, but one day you might end up coming to me looking for advice, missy.” First, I needed to find out what Becka was hiding from me. Lately she has been acting strange and I have made it my goal to find out why. “So what is the plan for tonight?” I ask changing the subject.

  “I figured if nothing else, we could hit up Penny’s again. Lilly is working the bar with Chad tonight since Preston is gone with Sawyer.” The lovebirds were back in Redwood visiting with Sawyer’s family to celebrate her older brother’s recent engagement.

  I never admitted it to Sawyer or even said it out loud, but I have always had a crush on Ben. He is six years old than us and by the time I was really starting to notice the opposite sex, Ben had grown into a man. A hot man. I’m been pretty good at masking my emotions and what’s going on in my head, but it still shocks me that Sawyer never caught on. She would kick my ass for sure.

  “Works for me. Knucks Road is playing again tonight.”

  “Ahh… Does that mean you will be back to being a groupie tonight?” Becka asks with a raised brow.

  “It did work out rather well last night, so I guess we will see what happens. Right now though, I am in serious need of a nap and I have a paper to write beforehand.” Getting homework done on time is hard to do when you are as big of a procrastinator as I am.

  “You have fun with that. I still have a few more hours left of my shift, so I will see you when I get back to the house.”

  I help Becka gather up our trash and empty cups on her tray before standing from the couch.

  “Okay pal, if I am passed out when you get in just make sure I am up by six.”

  “You got it. With the tray in hand, Becka heads back behind the counter to resume her shift.

  Walking into the quiet apartment, I head straight to my room lay down on my bed. I am in desperate need of a shower but just can’t bring myself to move yet. I am so exhausted. Without Sawyer here to yell at me about getting my paper done I have a little more time to slack off.

  Missing my bestie, I pull my phone from my back pocket and send her a text.

  I miss your face! You need to come back NOW!

  Sawyer: I miss yours more Chey! We will be home tomorrow evening and I am calling for a cuddle session and sleepover.

  I can’t wait! Tell the family I said HEEYYYY and tell Ben congrats. I will see you tomorrow.

  The darkness of my room combined with the softness of my bed wins the fight and pulls me into a much-needed sleep. The paper can wait until I wake up, or maybe even tomorrow.

  CHAPTER TWO

  “Hey Chey, you almost ready?” Becka asks, her voice travelling down the hall and into my room.

  Taking one last look in the mirror, I admire my new black strapless dress that I paired with my favorite strappy heels. Happy with my ensemble, I grab my wristlet and head to the kitchen.

  To my disappointment, my nap did not last as long as I would have liked. Though, on the plus side, I woke up with an abundance of energy and was able to get my paper written. Realizing that it took most of my afternoon and involved more research than originally anticipated, I am glad I didn’t wait until tomor
row. Especially, considering that tonight will most likely be one that I hate myself for in the morning and need a full day of recovery. Brain dead paper writing was not one of my strong suits.

  Not to mention, with a successful paper written, I now have a reason to celebrate. And sometimes, a girl just needed a night to let loose.

  Well, not that I really ever needed a reason. Okay, so maybe I have had more than my fair share of those nights. Don’t judge.

  “All set.” I say, instantly noticing the two shot glasses on the counter filled to the rim. “Always prepared. I like it.”

  Careful not to spill, I slide my glass close to me and sip a little off the top. “What are we toasting to tonight?”

  “Here’s to our senior year of college. I can’t believe it’s already here.” Becka raises her glass.

  “Cheers!” I call, following Becka’s toast as we tap our glasses together and drink the vodka. I love the slight burn of the liquid as it travels down.

  “So Becka, I have been meaning to ask you something. Are you going through some sort of dry spell?”

  Immediately coughing on the drink she had been sipping on, Becka looks at me like I am crazy.

  “What in the hell are you talking about?” she replies.

  “Well, it’s just that I haven’t seen you with any guys lately. And, you never mention anyone you are talking to. I was just curious.”

  Becka used to be just as bad as me when it came to hooking up with guys. Well, maybe not quite as bad, but she definitely had her fair share of fun. I can’t remember the last time she talked about meeting a guy, much less witnessed her flirt with someone at the bar. Private Eye Chey always finds the truth.

  “No, crazy. I have just been super busy and haven’t had much time.”

  Really? She gave me the busy excuse?

  I practically invented that line. I use it more than any other excuse in the book. She can’t fool me. Not one bit.