Falling to Pieces

by Michelle Louise

  I wanted to say something, but this was uncharted territory for me. I had no words of advice. Thankfully, the server showed up with our food and broke some of the tension of my silence.

  We started to eat and a few seconds in he asked, “Remember when I had to cancel the show the other day?”

  “Yeah, why?”

  “My daughter fell out of a tree and broke her arm. Annabelle was freaked out and needed me there. It was the first time Fiona had really ever been hurt and she was really shaken up. I didn’t even hesitate; I was in my car before I called to cancel. They live about 20 minutes outside of Avalon. Touring has made it a real struggle for us, but I love what I do and the financial support it allows me to provide for my family. It’s all I know how to do.” He took a bite of his taco and just shook his head.

  “Is she okay?”

  “Yeah she’s a tough girl. Stoked about her big pink cast that all her friends can sign.”

  We both laughed.

  “Anyways, the moral of the story is, it’s not going away. That feeling you get when you see him, when he touches you, its special. You will live the rest of your life fighting one way or another. You can fight the feelings you have and keep your distance. Or you can fight for love. Either way, it’s a risk. But nothing good comes without a little risk.”

  “Could you write that down for me?” I smile and we both laugh taking our conversation to a lighter note.

  “So, we only have a few more weeks of shows and then the band has agreed to take some time off. Annabelle agreed to try and work things out and since my lease is up shortly, we wants to me move in with them.

  The smile on his face was contagious and I was so excited for him.

  “Oh Dave, that’s great news! I am super sad I wont be able to watch my favorite band, but so happy you get to be closer to your daughter and have a chance to finally be with Annabelle.”

  “Yeah, me too.” His smile was so big I could have cried. What a nice guy. I was definitely going to miss him.

  We finished our lunch and I headed back to the apartment to finish up my homework. All this talking about love and feelings makes my brain hurt and I was actually looking forward to crunching numbers for my accounting class.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  This has seriously been the slowest week in the history of my education, but thankfully it was over. No more lectures or boring class discussions. I am surprised Dr. Sanford didn’t kick me out of his class for snoring too loudly this morning. Though, he didn’t ignore it either. In fact, I’m sure I will now be referred to as Snore-enne for the remainder of the semester. But, whatever, if they only knew whom I was dreaming about they would have never woken me up. I missed Sam so much and couldn’t wait for him to come home.

  The professor nearly killed me with his eyes as he glared me down. It took a second for me to realize it was my phone that had been beeping.

  Shit!

  I completely forgot to silence it before class started. I quickly moved the notch on the left side of my phone and set it on my desk with an apologetic wave to everyone. Once they all turned their attention back to the front of the class, I anxiously swiped my home screen to view my messages.

  Sam: Hey Little Red. How’s your day?

  Boring as hell. But I’ll manage. Sooo, you coming home soon?

  Sam: Why? You miss me?

  Nope. :)

  Just kidding, of course I do. Hope everything is going good with your dad.

  Sam: Yeah, much better. My flight will be coming in on Saturday morning.

  Great! Can’t wait to see you.

  Sam: Same here. See you real soon ;)

  It couldn’t be soon enough. I needed to find something to keep my mind busy. Maybe after my homework I will see if the girls want to go to dinner and a movie. I hear there is a new Chris Hemsworth movie out. I really could use some suave eye candy, and actually some real candy too. I love those little chocolaty crunch things.

  Hey girls! Whose up for a movie?! I’m thinking maybe an action packed flick starring our favorite heartthrob! Oh and yours too Becks, I hear the new actress they are debuting is a former model. ;)

  Sawyer: Oh rats! Sorry girl, I am working on a research project with my group from class and it’s the only night we are all available. :( But I’m free for the show tomorrow!

  Okay cool. No worries. Have fun.....NOT!

  Becks???? You in?

  Becka: Sorry pal. I cant either, plans with Lilly. It’s her only night off for a while and we have reservations at Blue Sun.

  Damn, ya’ll are some busy bitches! Oh well, have fun. Can’t wait for tomorrow night!

  What a bunch of crap! I am not sitting in this house alone tonight. Not with a million things on my mind like this, I’ll go stir crazy for sure. It’s not in my nature to be one of those people who enjoys sitting at dinner alone or going to see a movie alone. But tonight, I could care less. I was getting out of this house.

  Although, I’m thinking I’ll skip dinner and just fill up on popcorn and candy. It’s going to be one of those nights and no one would be there to judge.

  I bought my ticket online and headed out the door. The movie theater was slammed full of students and couples seemed to be appearing from every direction I looked. Thankfully, they were all headed into the chick flick that was starting five minutes before mine and I wouldn’t be subjected to their make out sessions. With my candy and popcorn in hand, I found a seat around the middle of the theater and kicked back to enjoy the show.

  The next morning, I woke up surprisingly earlier than usual, more than likely due to the fact that I fell asleep so early. The overindulgence of sugar and carbs during the movie put me in a severe comatose as soon as I got home. I must have been snoozing by eleven.

  I stretched out in bed and thought about the day ahead. Jumping up, I wandered into the kitchen to see who was home.

  Quiet again.

  Both girls’ bedroom doors were cracked open, but no one in sight. I made a cup of coffee and toasted an English muffin. Now for the big question…what to do today?

  Peering out the window, there’s not a cloud in the sky, as the sun appears to be baking the earth. My head drops to my poor pale legs and it becomes clear what needs to happen. Rummaging through my drawers, I pull out my swimsuit and grab the sunscreen from the bathroom. As much color as my skin needed, it was still important for me to layer heavily in the SPF thirty. My fair skin required many layers of UV exposure before it would actually glow; but I needed to start somewhere. Plus, there was something about the warmth and peacefulness of lying under the rays with a personal concert in my head streaming through my iPod that seemed fitting for the day ahead.

  There was sun glistening off all the oiled up bodies lying around the pool. Apparently, I wasn’t the only girl who decided to take advantage of the beautiful weather. I was completely relaxed and all I could think about was Sam. Only one more day until I get to see him. I imagine myself running at him and jumping into his arms, laying a sweet wet kiss on his lips. Then hopefully leading him straight to the bedroom. Or he could lead me to the bedroom. Like, maybe he would throw me over his shoulder, slap my ass and ravage my body for hours.

  Jesus, I need to get laid.

  I hope things aren’t weird when he gets back. We never really had all the conversations we should have, but it doesn’t even seem to matter. Maybe we will just bounce back to the old us. But honestly, I don’t think that is what he wants. He wants more from me. He deserves more from me.

  The pop song that is serenading my thoughts is cut off as a text alert comes through and then fades back into the chorus. Pulling my phone from under my towel, I raise my sunglasses and try to focus on the screen. The sun is annoyingly bright and is causing a serious glare. Leaning into the shade, I slide the screen and open my messages.

  Sam: Exited to see me?

  Depends. Are you bringing me gift?

  Sam: Ha Ha, funny girl. Well, I am excited to see you. What is your plan for the night
?

  There is a show at Penny’s and me and the girls will be heading that way around 8pm.

  Sam: Sounds fun. Be safe, and try to behave. ;)

  Will do. I am out here working the sun to get a little color. You might not even recognize me tomorrow.

  Sam: Doubt it. I would know that body anywhere. Seriously though, be careful and try not to fall asleep out there. Again. Lol

  Oh hell No! That was the worse experience ever. Lesson Learned.

  Sam: Yeah, I’ve never seen quite a shade of red. Plus the sunglass tan was priceless.

  Okay. Got to go. Embarrassing flashbacks are making me a whole new shade of red. See you soon!

  Sam: Real soon, little red. ;)

  It had only been about twenty minutes, and now I was getting nervous about burning again. Sam was right though; it was priceless. I looked absolutely ridiculous and had to stay indoors for the rest of the weekend. I even missed a few days of school. I was mortified and refused to show my face. Sawyer helped me experiment with all kinds of foundation and concealer to try to blend the color on my face and hide the raccoon eyes.

  I flipped over and soaked up twenty minutes on my backside, and then repeated each side one more time in ten-minute increments. It was hot as hell and I was sweating. There were too many people in the pool to jump in and cool off, so I gathered my things and headed home to shower.

  The door was unlocked and I nearly did a front flip with joy when I saw Sawyer’s face.

  “Oh my sweet baby Jesus! How I’ve missed this face.” I wrapped my tiny arms around her neck.

  “Slow down, Sally! You’ll pop off my head with your superhuman strength!”

  “Sorry pal, I just feel like I haven’t seen you in forever.” I said, exaggerating quite a bit. It had only been a day or so, but I had been alone quite a bit lately and could really use some company.

  “Well, I’m here now. Would you like to grab a late lunch with me?” She was petting my head and I backed away instantly. She knew I didn’t like to be treated like a baby.

  “ Alright, okay.” I said, fixing my hair from where she brushed it into my eyes. “Let me grab a shower and we can head out. I’m pretty hungry. What were you thinking?”

  “Hmmm. Maybe sandwiches. Let’s get a sub from BossLady!” She wiggled her eyebrows up and down and with good reason. BossLady Subs was the best around and was super affordable. You could get a footlong sub, chips and a drink for only six dollars; it was insane.

  “Heck yeah! You know I’m in. Give me fifteen.” I skipped past Sawyer and into my bedroom.

  The afternoon flew by once we made it to lunch. It was so nice to be in good company. We spent the whole afternoon catching up and planning for the evening, mostly debating what to wear. We settled in the middle of casual and dressy. I would wear my black pleated dress shorts with a tan sequined tank top and would tone it down to casual with a pair of cute gladiator wedges, rather than high heels. Sawyer would wear dark denim jeans, a white, off the shoulder blouse and dress it up with a pair of sequined flats and sparkling jewelry. Accessories can class up any outfit.

  Becka had gotten home a little after us and we all went our separate ways to get ready. We filled her in on our outfit choices and she chose to wear a two-tone romper with flats. It was navy blue shorts on bottom with a high waistline attached to a white button up tank that had a bow on the collar. She won for the cutest outfit of the night.

  I finished with my hair and began to head out to the kitchen as I heard the famous shot call.

  “Ohhh ladiesss!” Sawyer sang out. She was standing behind a line of six shots.

  “Nicely done, first one ready chooses the opening shots. So, what will it be tonight?” Becka asks as she exits the hallway.

  “Oh nothing too special. Just something I picked up the other night at Preston’s. These are what he likes to call the ‘Woo Hoo’ shot. It’s been known to cause a few hoarse voices from the consistent ‘wooooo hoooo’s’ you’ll be calling out.” As she exaggerated the name we all laughed and raised our glasses.

  “Here’s to a good night with good friends and a whole lot of woo hoo’ing at the band.” I wink at the girls who nod in approval as we tap, tap, and throw ‘em back.

  “Yowza! That was good. He must be a pretty good teacher.” Becka patted Sawyer on the back.

  “Thanks! It’s pretty simple. Just vodka, peach schnaps and cranberry juice.” Her smile was spread across her face with pride.

  “Nice job, sis. Give him a few extra minutes on the BJ later to thank him for his knowledge.”

  “Oh my gosh. You’re filthy.” Sawyer threw a dishtowel at me and I screeched.

  “Hey now, I’m just saying, you got to reward your men for good behavior.” The two girls rolled their eyes at me and I reached for the next shot. “To Preston, may he enjoy the few extra minutes as much as we enjoyed these delicious shots by the one and only Shot Caller, Sawyer Jameson.” I raised my glass with one hand placed over my heart.

  “You’re ridiculous, but I love it.” Becka said and raised her glass up.

  Sawyer hesitated, then gave me her best fake mad smirk, and raised her glass up to ours. “Ridiculous doesn’t begin to describe you. But I love it too. Let’s have fun tonight, bitches.”

  Once again, tap, tap, and throw ‘em back. Down so smooth. She really did have a knack for this shot making thing. If the bookstore ever closes, I’m sure she could always get some work at Penny’s. It doesn’t hurt that she knows the manager in charge of hiring.

  I was excited to see Knucks Road play tonight. Since they would be slowing down on the amount of shows they would play, I knew this might be one of the last. With the warmth still in our chest from the back-to-back shots, we grabbed out purses and headed out the door.

  “So, have you talked to your sister lately?” I asked Sawyer.

  “Yeah, just briefly the other day. She didn’t seem like herself. Sad even.”

  “Aaron too. But he seems to be making progress. He accepted the choice he made and I think he made the right one. It will take time for both of them, but I think they will realize it’s for the better.” I replied.

  “I guess. I just thought she was starting to tame her wild ways. Guess she still has some things to get out of her system. Sounds awfully familiar.” Sawyer leaned my way and bumped my shoulder. I just smiled back knowing she was right, but didn’t feel like trying to deny it or open that can of worms.

  “They are young and so are we. Being too serious is no fun.” Becka stated.

  “Says the girl who is ‘experimenting, yeah, I bet you’re having fun.” I leaned toward Becka and passed along the shoulder bump.

  “Hey now! It is fun, but it is also serious. I think the experiment is over.” Her tone got serious. “I’m falling for her, guys.”

  “Awwww, Becka’s in love!” I couldn’t hold back. “Woooo Hooooo!”

  “I’m done with you, and those shots are the devil, Sawyer.” She busted out in laughter and we all fell into a fit of giggles.

  The bar was packed and the band was just starting to set up. We all grabbed our drinks and headed to a table near the dance floor. I spotted Dave on the far side of the stage and threw up a wave and winked. He smiled big and winked back. I was so happy with the way our relationship has flourished. Who knew I could become friends, and strictly friends, with such a gorgeous guy and not feel necessary to get naked with him every chance I got. I was so happy he was getting the chance to make it work with his ex, and it made me really want to give this thing a chance with Sam. The connection between us was undeniable and the more I pushed, the closer I felt to him.

  Dave made his way over to say hi and let us know they were about to begin. We ordered another round and brought them with us to the dance floor. The lights dimmed and the drums began a slow beat. The guitar crashed in and we jumped with the beat and began our dance-a-thon in the front row. The songs rolled right after one another and we were having a blast.

  Dave switched to hi
s acoustic guitar and I knew exactly which song he was going to play. It was my favorite in the set. We all got closer to the stage and swayed to the ballad. Dave’s voice turned to velvet as he sang a cappella during the bridge. He reached for my hand and planted a playful kiss on it, before spinning me around like a ballerina. The girls in the crowd all screamed and it sounded as though they all had some of those shots Sawyer made earlier. He continued to make the crowd jealous and serenaded me for the remainder of the song. He always did know how to put on a good show.

  The song came to an end and they played a couple more before he announced they would be back after a short intermission. They had so many songs that sometimes they would split up the set and make it a double show. Becka and Sawyer went to say hi to their other halves and I made my way to the bar to say hi to my favorite bartender.

  “Hey ugly. Got a shot for me?” I asked nicely.

  “You wish. At least, if I were ugly, you would have an easier time ignoring my dripping sex appeal. And yes, I do have a shot for you.”

  I rolled my eyes and replied, “Yep that’s it. All that dripping sex appeal, just so hard to resist.”

  He smiled and turned to the back of the bar grabbing a few different bottles and shaking them up. Damn it, Chad and your dripping sex appeal. My eyes drifted to his backside, which was no match for Sam, but still top five in my favorite backsides of the century. There’s no harm in window-shopping, as long as he doesn’t catch me. I would hate to feed into that silly ego of his.

  I divert my gaze and look next to me on the bar noticing a nearly full drink unoccupied. By the color and smell of it, most likely a Jack and Coke. It instantly made me think of Sam, and I imagined him walking up next to me to pick up and take a sip before kissing me with his sweet whiskey breath. Gosh, I missed him and couldn’t wait to see him.