Finally, Nathalie was done. She put down her phone and drank the whole glass of the drink she had ordered. “Argh, stress!”
I put my phone away too.
“How did it go?” Jerry asked.
“Used my ace card,” Nathalie said. “I told the doctor to muzzle him up.”
Duncan and I sniggered at the thought. We were thinking dirty. We looked at each other, getting one another and then laughed together.
Nathalie eyed at us suspiciously. “What is it?”
“Nothing,” I said.
“Nothing,” Duncan agreed. Both of us took up our drinks and toasted, hitting each other’s glass before drinking.
“Argh, more stress!” Nathalie fanned herself with her hands. “I need something to chill.”
“Hey, what about that?” Jerry gestured towards a wall.
The wall had a few big posters. The posters were neatly framed and were arranged side by side. The posters were about all sorts of events. One was about a cocktail-making workshop. Another was about a concert. There were some others too but the most relevant one advertised: Masquerade Carnival Night.
“A carnival?” Duncan asked.
“Like a fun fair, is it?” I wondered.
“Yup. Let’s go have some fun,” Jerry said. “It’s been a while since I’ve gone to one. You guys up?”
“I’m up,” Nathalie was the first to say, which made me laugh. “I really need something to relax. I can really use some fun.” Yeah right. “When is it?” She leaned forward to read the poster properly, her eyes narrowed. “Last for a week, and until 3 a.m.,” she read. “Sweet. This means you two can come too after work.” She grinned. “Next Wednesday, okay for all?” She took her glass up for a toast.
And then she realized that she had finished her drink.
“Sure,” Duncan said. “Here, here, Nat,” he said and poured Nathalie some drink from his glass and hit Nathalie’s glass with his, saving her face. So thoughtful. “What about you?” he asked me after taking a sip of his drink.
“I’m not so sure,” I told them. “I…”
“It’s okay, Eth. Don’t worry about it.” Nathalie knew what was bothering me. “I’ll pay for you. Just come and have fun, okay?”
I smiled. I was really glad that I had her. “Okay.”
11
Me or Him
(Liam)
U nlike the international sports competitions where they are held in a stadium, Olivia’s tennis competition was held indoors in a sports center. She and her opponent weren’t the only ones competing. There were many other players from many other categories too and despite being a smaller event, a lot of audience showed up to support the competitors. Olivia’s match was coming up next. She was about to head into her battle in thirty minutes.
“You see that person over there talking to my coach?” Olivia gestured at the two persons across the tennis court. “He’s here to see me. He’s here to see whether I’m qualified to be on the national team.”
We sat on the same ground as the tennis court. Olivia had gotten us special seats below the normal seating area, where we got to sit side by side with her coach and her team. Her coach didn’t mind, probably because most of the seats were always empty, especially when her coach and her teammates were busy with either other players or warming up. They had no time at all to sit. Olivia resumed her warm-up exercise. She marched on the spot with her knees high up.
“You’re nervous, Oli,” Samuel said. “You gotta take the chill pill.”
“Sam’s right, Oli,” Nathalie agreed. “Besides, your rival over there doesn’t seem to be good.”
“Which one, Nat?” Jerry asked, eyeing across the court. “How come you know who her opponent is?”
“You see that person over there?” Nathalie pointed. “She’s wearing red…”
“Come on, Oli.” Samuel stood up and put his arm around Olivia’s shoulders. “Let’s take a picture. It’s your big day today,” he said and began taking selfies with her.
I wasn’t really paying attention to them anymore. I was sitting with them—on the seat most left of the six seats we were given—but my soul wasn’t. I had been staring at my phone the entire morning ever since I woke up. Actually, more precisely, staring at my WhatsApp. Ethan’s chat room was totally gone. He fucking blocked me.
“Is Ethan coming?” I asked them in frustration, interrupting them.
“No,” Olivia and Nathalie said together.
I took a deep breath and exhaled heavily. Should have expected that. If he wanted to avoid me and if he knew that I was here, then of course, he wouldn’t show up. Though I had never thought that it was like him at all to disappoint a close friend like that.
“Olivia,” her coach called out as he came towards us. “It’s almost your turn. You gotta go warm up now. Go to Court Ten and have James play with you.”
“Okay, Coach.” Olivia straightened up. “Gotta go, guys.”
“Good luck, Oli. You can do it.” Samuel did a fist-pump.
Just when the competition was about to start, the moment Olivia entered the court to face her foe, someone sat down with us. He sat at the most right of the seats—the sixth seat from the left—where no one was sitting. It was him. He showed up.
“Eth!” Nathalie smacked him. “You came!”
Ethan smiled at Nathalie. When he did, I was sure he noticed me. But he didn’t even spare a single glance at me. It was as though I wasn’t there.
The whistle blew, grabbing everyone’s attention and signalling that the match was starting. A coin was tossed in the air to determine which player must serve first and which side they must serve from. Olivia got to serve first. The match began.
Olivia launched the ball in the air and fired it at her opponent. The ball looked like it flew forward at the speed of light. A blink and one could have missed where the ball went. But easily, her foe deflected it and sent the ball back at her. Olivia flitted and managed to catch the ball, hitting the ball back to her opponent. The game started with much heat right away.
I’d never see this side of Olivia before. She wasn’t like this at all during her practice on the campus. In school, she always seemed to be the one playing around on the court. In the game, she was so serious that she never smiled once. I could see every drop of her sweat fall. I could tell she had put in a lot of effort for this battle.
Olivia wasn’t the only one I was paying attention to of course. I’d been paying attention to Ethan at the same time. Olivia won the first set, and when she was taking a break at the side of the court, drinking water, Ethan stood up and walked away. I knew where he was going. He was heading to the washroom. I saw that as my chance and quickly stood up to chase after him.
When I got to the washroom, he was nowhere to be seen. A stall was closed. He must be inside. I waited. Eventually, he came out and saw me. He didn’t look pleased. He tried to walk out of the washroom, but I blocked his way.
“Eth,” I called.
“Move away, Liam,” Ethan finally spoke. I missed that voice so much. “I don’t want to miss Olivia’s match.”
“I’m not moving,” I said. “Until you tell me what’s wrong between us.”
Ethan didn’t answer me. He looked away, refused to look me in the eyes. He took a deep breath and let it out. I waited for him, but even after a few long seconds, he didn’t answer me. I decided to try again.
“Please, Eth,” I said and took a step forward. “Tell me. What’s wrong?”
“Mind your own business, Liam.” Ethan rammed past me to make his way out.
I grabbed his wrist quickly, stopping him. “You said it’s not my business anymore or to mind my own business. But you are my business, Eth. You’re my best friend.”
“And you’ll always be mine, Liam,” Ethan said without facing me.
“Look at us now, Eth! Do we even look like friends now?”
It took him a few seconds. I waited for him patiently. He was thinking about something. Maybe he had h
is own problems. Finally, he turned to face me and looked at me in the eyes. But his eyes... They weren’t the usual eyes that I’d known. They burned in full of hatred. He pushed my hand away from his wrist. “From today onward, we’re not even friends anymore. Satisfied now?” He walked out of the washroom.
A thunder shook the entire washroom. The world suddenly started to spin. I staggered backward and held onto the sink. Did he just fucking say we were not friends anymore? What did I fucking do?! That was not fucking fair! What mistake did I fucking make to deserve this?! Why couldn’t he just tell me and let us make up?! I screamed and kicked the wall.
I didn’t know how long I was in the washroom. When I finally got back to my senses and decided to walk out, almost everyone was gone. Even my friends were gone too, as if Ethan had told them I had probably gone back home.
When I got outside the sports center, Joanna was waiting for me at the pick-up area. I got into her car and stared out the window.
My mind was blank.
Someone shook my arm. It was Joanna. She was still driving beside me. “Babe? What’s wrong?”
I couldn’t hold back any longer. I gave up. I let my emotions flood my chest and reach up to my eyes. I cried.
Joanna pulled over to the side of the road. “What’s wrong, babe?” She unbuckled her seatbelt and reached over to hug me.
“Eth-Eth-Ethan, does-doesn’t, want me-me anymore,” I said and hugged her back.
I didn’t make any sense. But Joanna understood me. She patted my back. “It’s okay, babe. It’s okay... I’m here.”
I sobbed so much, like I’d been collecting those tears for days, only to have them burst out like a water balloon. Joanna sent me home and I stayed in my room. Joanna was almost always by my side even though I’d suddenly turned into a petrified, sitting statue. She took care of me, gave me food and tried comforting me with kind words. But they hardly worked.
It was the hardest night to sleep, especially after what I saw on Ethan’s Instagram. He celebrated Olivia’s victory with Nathalie, Jerry, and Samuel. Without me. And they all looked so happy, as if dumping me didn’t matter to him or any of them.
Give him some time, I tried to tell myself. Maybe when he’s done being angry with me, then he will talk to me again. But it was no use. I cried again. Eventually, I cried myself to sleep.
The next morning, Joanna brightened my day. It was my first time seeing her in the kitchen, cooking breakfast for me. I smelled eggs and ham and sausages. They were nothing but processed food, sure, but I could feel all her effort and heart that she was putting in to it. I hugged her from behind. “Thank you, babe,” I said and finally managed to smile.
“Feeling better, babe?” Joanna smiled back, flipping the food in the frying pan.
“Feeling hungry,” I whispered in her ear.
“Ew!” she cringed. “Bad breath! You haven’t brushed your teeth!”
I laughed. “I’ll go, babe.”
Joanna took me out after breakfast. She said I would need the fresh air after staying in the room for so long. She brought me to the town’s park for a stroll. I was glad I’d agreed to go with her. Because she was right. I immediately felt more comfortable and refreshed. We held hands as we explored the park, admiring the sceneries that we’d seen before but never really enjoyed them as much as now.
When we were finally tired, we sat at the park’s fountain.
“It’s getting hot, babe,” Joanna said, fanning herself with her hand. “You wanna get some drinks?”
“Yeah, sure. What do you want to drink, babe?” I asked.
Joanna looked around. We could see some shops outside the park. She sighed when she couldn’t find anything that captured her interest. She held my hand and shook it. “You still on diet, babe? Can we go to Starbucks? I miss my Peppermint Mocha Frappuccino.”
I smiled. How could I say no after what she had done for me? “Okay, babe.”
“Yes, yes!” She got so excited that she jumped up and down. “Thank you, babe.” She held her arms wide open for a hug.
I stood up and hugged her. Instead of taking her car, we walked all the way to Starbucks since it was nearby. It felt so great the moment we entered the cafe, when the air-conditioner was hitting us at full blast that Joanna and I had to moan. We walked to the cashier’s counter to order our drinks.
The server turned around from the sink area. “Hi, welcome to Starbucks. How may I—”
I froze.
It was Ethan.
The barista turned around next, to see what was up.
I double-froze.
It was Duncan.
I clenched my fists. My lower lip suddenly hurt and I could taste my own blood.
“Ethan?” Joanna was as surprised as me. “And you?” she said, referring to Duncan. “Babe, babe.” She shook my hand, making me realize that my arms were trembling. I wasn’t sure why. Were they shaking because of Ethan? Or were they shaking because they were dying to break Duncan’s teeth? How the fuck could they be together? And fucking working? Together?! Without telling me at all?! What the fuck!
“What would you like to order, sir? Miss?” Ethan asked us.
I looked at him. Unbelievable. How could he even act like it was nothing? Like there had been nothing between us. Like we’d never known each other. So easily?
“Peppermint Mocha Frappuccino, add a pump of caramel please,” Joanna ordered. “How about you, babe? Babe?” She shook my arm. “Babe!” She shook harder.
“It’s okay. I know what he wants,” Ethan said. “One Peppermint Mocha Frappuccino with an extra pump of caramel, and one Green Tea Frappuccino, less sugar and less cream!” he told the crew.
I was annoyed. No. I was disgusted and infuriated. How the fuck could he treat me like that? How the fuck could he—
“Would you like some bread or desserts, sir? Miss?” Ethan asked next. Since when the fuck could he talk so fucking well?
“Hmm,” Joanna looked at the food display counter, seeing what was available. “Cranberry and Chicken Sandwich, and that yogurt please,” she said and pointed.
“Gonna sit upstairs, Miss? Better privacy,” Ethan asked, grinning and making his eyebrows jump.
This time, it was his face I felt like punching instead of Duncan’s. Did he just fucking try to flirt with Joanna?
“Yup,” Joanna nodded. “Can you send us the food?”
“Alright, sure, sure. We’ll bring you the food shortly,” Ethan said and worked on the cash register.
Joanna paid for everything, including mine. She tried to hold my hand but her fingers couldn’t get through my fist. She grabbed my wrist instead and pulled me upstairs. I allowed her to move me. Unwillingly. As I did, I glowered at Ethan. I glared at Duncan. What else did they do behind my back? And how much?! Most importantly, since fucking when?!
Out of so many tables at the mezzanine, Joanna had to choose the one where we could see the cashier-food counters downstairs. I could see Duncan and Ethan talking very closely, like they were really… really close. After that, Ethan nodded, like thanking Duncan, and Duncan came out from the counter with a tray. I could tell it was what we ordered. It was our food tray. He had the guts to bring food to us.
“Peppermint Mocha Frappuccino with a pump of caramel, Green Tea Frappuccino with less sugar and cream, Cranberry and Chicken Sandwich and Berry-berry Greek Yogurt.” Duncan set them on the table.
“Thank you,” Joanna said politely.
“You’re welcome,” Duncan replied. “Enjoy your meal,” he said and went back down. Back to Ethan’s side.
I chickened out. I did nothing despite the strong urge I had to punch his face. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Relax. I told myself.
“Babe, you okay?” Joanna asked.
“Yeah,” I replied to her. “Let’s eat.”
I took a sip of my Green Tea Frappuccino. It was good. My usual order. It must be Ethan who made it. Fuck.
“It’s nice, isn’t it?” Joanna suddenly sai
d when she was eating her sandwich.
“The sandwich?” I asked.
“You want some, babe?” She tore the sandwich she was holding into halves and gave one to me.
I took the sandwich and tasted it. “I think the sandwich in Swan Hills tastes better,” I said honestly. I bit the sandwich again, didn’t realize that I was hungry until now.
“I don’t mean the sandwich, babe,” Joanna said after another bite of her own sandwich. “I mean Ethan.”
I had just finished putting the last bit of the sandwich into my mouth. I almost choked.
“He moved on from you.” It felt like a stab hearing her say that. “I’m really happy for him. And for you, babe. This means that you guys can be friends again without having to fear what he will do to you.”
I’d never feared what he would do to me. I trusted him. Yeah, I trusted him and he fucking did this to me. Son of a... “He doesn’t even want to be friends with me anymore.”
Joanna reached her hand over to hold mine. “Soon, babe. Give him some time, okay? He’s just trying to move on. And I can understand that,” she said. “You should too.”
I tried to look at him again. He seemed to be enjoying himself. I couldn’t understand at all. How could he seem so care-free downstairs while I had to suffer so much on the inside, up here? Duncan whispered something in Ethan’s ear and I was so fucking pissed when he was this fucking close to my Ethan.
* * *
I came back to Starbucks the next day, but never went in. No, not day. Night. And without Joanna this time. I didn’t want to involve her. It was none of her business. It was our business. Business between Ethan and me and that fucking Dun-dog. I waited for them until they closed the shop.
Everyone had left. Coincidentally, both of them were the last to leave. When the roller shutter was pulled down and locked, I walked out of the dark, coming into their sight.
A Monster's Love Page 17