What God Has For Me

by Pat Simmons

  “Well, hello to you, too, big sister.” She paused and shushed her fussy baby in the background. “Now, how do I do what?”

  Halcyon rubbed soothing strokes on her son’s back as he slept. “Work with your husband all day and sleep with him at night?”

  Desi laughed. “Your first day on the job, huh? Was my brother-in-law that irritating?”

  “Zach? Never. He told me he loved me last night.” She went into detail about the events that led up to his declaration.

  Desi made such a loud rooting sound, Halcyon had to remove the phone from her ear to save her hearing. “Mom already told us, but what did you say?”

  Figures, Halcyon thought. “That I wasn’t ready.”

  “Hmm. Fair enough. I remember when Michael wanted to reconcile; I wasn’t ready either, but us getting back together happened when it was supposed to happen.”

  Halcyon stared down at her polished toenails and wiggled them. “My question is, is this supposed to happen?”

  “Whoever God has for you, the devil can’t stop Jesus from giving him to you,” Desi said. “You need to talk to Him. Now, tell me about your day while MJ is being a good boy.”

  Despite her jumbled emotions, it really was a perfect day. “Besides converting an empty room into a suite for me and the children, he had my car repaired and delivered by the time I was ready to go. Can you believe that he stopped by an hour after I got in from work? He acted as if he hadn’t seen me most of the day and asked me how my day was.”

  “Aw, that was so sweet.”

  “It was.” She heard Michael in the background ask his wife what was so sweet.

  “Your brother, dear. Now hush and come get your son,” Desi ordered her husband. After a few moments and a few loud kisses, the other end of the phone was peaceful. “Now, I’m listening. That was so romantic.”

  Closing her eyes to recall the memories, Halcyon’s heart fluttered. “It was definitely one of those moments I’ll never forget. Zach kept a straight face, so I played along and badmouthed my mean boss. He feigned insult, but in the end, we laughed. It was as relaxing as eating butter pecan ice cream.”

  “Man vs. Food. Wow. That’s deep.” Desi giggled.

  Halcyon chuckled too at her sister’s reference to the show Desi and her husband were addicted to, starring Adam Richman. “We watched a movie with the children, feasted on Mom’s stew, then he left. I don’t want to lose this easy friendship between us. It has kept me sane on many days when I was depressed and wanted to give up. But falling in love with him… do I want to risk it?”

  “The Bishop brothers are good men. Too bad there aren’t more of them. Even though Michael got caught up with that hussy, the Holy Ghost within him fought that spiritual battle to get him out of the web of sin before he got in deeper and there wouldn’t have been a point of return.

  “Michael said it was his love for me that slapped him in the face. Of course, I added to that slap in the pastor’s office,” Desi snickered. “How embarrassing, but I did apologize. Anyway, praise Jesus that He pieced our marriage back together. Now, we’re a united front and each other’s keeper. Whether customers are women or new hires, I let them know indirectly or directly that when it comes to my husband, I’m not their friend. Mickey does the same thing when he thinks men are trying to hit on me. We know we have a good thing…”

  Desi was on a roll. She and Michael had become like poster children to protect marriages by any extreme measures necessary. What kind of poster would she be? Halcyon wanted “Survivor” printed on a T-shirt.

  “Well, something else happened today before I went to work.” She paused, trying to gather all the nuances of that moment. “God actually spoke to me.”

  “What happened?” Desi asked hesitantly.

  “Sis, the Lord’s presence was so overwhelming that I started babbling about how sorry I was and before long, it seemed like I had repented for everything since I was in diapers up to my current sins.”

  “He loves you,” Desi whispered.

  Halcyon frowned at her sister’s train of thought. “I’m not talking about Zach right now. Stay with me, Desi. I’m talking about what happened between me and God.”

  “That’s who I’m talking about… Jesus. Do you know how many people don’t get a chance to repent before they die? Yet, God visited you and gave you a chance to confess your indiscretions.” Desi started to shout Hallelujahs.

  Her praise prompted Halcyon to lift her hands as tears streamed down her cheeks. Spiritually, she was clueless about what was going on in her life. But something told her, things were about to change and she’d better be ready for them.

  Chapter 8

  Halcyon had come to a decision. Why she was nervous about attending church didn’t make sense. She had already repented, so it wasn’t as if God was going to beat her up or send lightning down to strike her. Still, she would be a prodigal daughter, and Halcyon wasn’t sure how she would be received.

  I have loved you with an everlasting love, God whispered. Read Jeremiah 31:3.

  Ashanti was beside herself with excitement. Although her daughter had gone with her mother and Granny Rose to church before, Halcyon always felt guilty sending her daughter when she wouldn’t go.

  “Can I bring my coloring books, Mommy?” Ashanti’s expression was so hopeful.

  “No, sweetie. There won’t be a table for you to color on. I guess I need to get you a children’s Bible.”

  Grinning, she jumped up and down. “Are we going to get one now?”

  “Not today, but next time, okay?”

  Judging from Ashanti’s pout and folded arms, next time wasn’t okay. As far as Halcyon was concerned, her daughter better be glad that she had decided to go. Halcyon had tossed and turned all night, debating whether she could pick up the pieces and reconnect with God instantly as if she hadn’t disappointed God.

  Once she dressed her children, Ashanti in a soft pink dress and white sandals and Jonathan in a navy blue jacket and white shorts, Halcyon scanned the clothes in her closet again—pathetic. She still had two suits, casual skirts and stretch jeans. As soon as she could afford it, Halcyon would add to her collection. One thing she dared not do was complain about a lack of funds. Her family would harp on her about taking Scott to court for child support.

  Scott. She and the children surely had become nothing more than a memory to him. Jonathan didn’t know his father, but Ashanti did have memories and questions had surfaced without any prompting from her.

  “Mommy, is Daddy coming to visit me today?” Ashanti had asked repeatedly when she first moved back home.

  Of course, it didn’t help that Halcyon would call Scott and let Ashanti put him on the spot. Their daughter would chat away. But judging from the one sided conversation, he never seemed to ask questions, or give Ashanti answers to hers.

  Although Halcyon had told Scott she would never keep him from his children, he hadn’t made an effort. What had she seen in him, besides the fact that he was charming, good-looking and had a great job? Now that he was married, she doubted things would change. His wife already had a child for him to play daddy to.

  So in the end, it was up to her to provide answers to Ashanti’s questions. “No, sweetie.” Halcyon didn’t offer an explanation as her heart sank for her daughter’s loss of being a “daddy’s little girl.”

  Enough. Halcyon blinked. She rose early enough to go to church. “I have to move forward, not relive the past, right?” she asked herself.

  Walk upright before Me, and I’ll withhold nothing good from you, the Lord answered. Read My Word in Psalm 84.

  Evidently God was listening. Before she could relish in being in the Lord’s presence, Jonathan screamed his displeasure at his sister. Once Halcyon brokered a peace deal for them to share a book, she grabbed her suit and got dressed.

  The uncertainty about attending faded away as Halcyon crossed the threshold to the Rapture Ready Church. It had been her childhood church that she hadn’t set foot in since Desi ma
rried Michael and that had been almost five years ago. What had held her back was her fear that those who knew her from when she was a teenager would turn up their noses at her for her lifestyle choices. But that didn’t happen.

  The feeling of unexplainable peace seemed to engulf her, making her feel like she belonged and had never left. Although there were many new members, the older saints who she remembered seemed to recognize her right away. They embraced her with tight hugs and oohed and ahhed over her children.

  “I’m so glad to see you, chile. It’s been a while. You’ve been missed.”

  Here it comes, a tongue lashing. Halcyon groaned inwardly.

  “We’re one in the body of Christ. When one part of our body is injured or severed like a small toe, the whole body feels the pain, whether it’s physically, emotionally, or spiritually injured.” She stepped back and squeezed her shoulders. “But you’re here and on the mend now.”

  There is no condemnation of them who walk with Me and not after the flesh, God whispered and flashed Romans 8:1 before her spiritual eyes.

  “Thank you.” She sniffed. “Mother Kimble, you’re going to make me cry.”

  “Well, you just go ahead. I’ve got plenty of tissues in my purse. I just got it off the roll in the bathroom.”

  Halcyon was instantly sober. No telling if that roll was in the stall or on a counter. “Do you know where the Bishops are sitting?”

  “Sho nuff.” Mother Kimble waved for an usher, then told her what section to take her. “Don’t stay gone so long, sugar. See you next week.”

  “Yes, ma’am,” Halcyon said and waved goodbye.

  The stunned looks on everybody’s faces at seeing her there, except Desi’s, were picture worthy. Granny Rose lifted her hand in the air and mouthed something to God. Zachary’s surprised look gave way to a smile as he got to his feet and relieved her arms of a squirming Jonathan. He inched back into the pew, forcing Michael and the others to scoot down and make room.

  “Hi, Uncle Zach,” Ashanti whispered and grinned, vying for his attention since he had Jonathan in his arms. “See my dress?”

  He kissed Ashanti’s nose. “I do and you look as beautiful as your mother.” He playfully tickled her stomach and made her giggle.

  “You and the children look incredible,” he complimented Halcyon before kissing her cheek.

  She blushed despite the fact that she didn’t have on anything new. Yet his compliments always empowered her. “You’ve seen me in this before.” She nudged his shoulder.

  “You can’t be beautiful unless you’re wearing different clothes? Recognize your worth, Miss Holland. Your beauty is more than skin deep.”

  “You’re making it real hard for me to fight your charm,” she whispered as someone walked to the podium and began to read the announcements.

  Zachary shifted Jonathan in his arms, then kissed the top of her son’s head. Her heart captured the caring moment and she wanted to cry. Despite the chemistry between her and Zachary, plus the love he professed, Halcyon needed time to make sure any romantic feelings she had toward Zachary were genuine and not on the rebound, because she was desperate for attention and Zachary was giving her plenty of it. She had to be sure this time.

  “Good morning, church,” Pastor Reed nipped into Halcyon’s wandering mind. He welcomed visitors and asked them to stand; Zachary cheered her on. To keep from being further embarrassed, she got to her feet. When Halcyon took her seat, she stuck out her tongue. Zachary winked.

  When the pastor announced the passage for his Sunday sermon, Halcyon couldn’t believe she had left the Bible she had been reading at home. Zachary offered to share his, although she knew he could use the Bible app on his phone.

  “Without a trial, there is no testimony,” Pastor Reed began. “Jesus is our example in John 19. Even though God was wrapped in the flesh as Jesus, the flesh suffered cancer, diabetes, stab and gunshot wounds. Whatever diseases and circumstances that would cause the flesh’s demise, Christ suffered it all so that we could share in His testimony. Whatever your trials are now, have been, or will come, it’s in God’s plan that you will survive so that you can give a testimony…”

  Was God speaking directly to her? she wondered. When the sermon concluded, the altar call was given to anyone who had repented to come and receive the baptism of water and the Holy Ghost in Jesus’ name.

  Granny Rose reached over Zachary and whispered to her, “After the pastor dismisses, we’ll go to his office where you’ll have his undivided attention and he can pray for you.”

  “I need it,” she admitted. “I know the Lord reclaimed my life after I confessed my sins, but I don’t totally feel…” She didn’t how to describe her spiritual state.

  Zachary hugged her. “Take one day at a time. Each day, you’ll find yourself spiritually stronger, if you spend more time in prayer and get a steady dose of God’s Word.”

  Once the baptismal session was over and the offering taken, Pastor Reed gave the benediction. Family members pushed Zachary aside to get to her as if she were some type of celebrity. “There’s still hope. Two down, only one to go,” her mother said, lifting her hand, referring to Tracey who wasn’t in attendance. While squeezing her tightly, she whispered, “You’re going to be all right and my grandbabies too… Zachary will make sure of that.”

  Halcyon tensed. When it came to multi-tasking for her children, she could do it with her eyes closed. But she wasn’t equipped emotionally to focus on God and Zachary at the same time.

  “C’mon, baby. Let’s get to Pastor Reed’s office.” Granny Rose commandeered her arm and steered her out the sanctuary with more speed than Halcyon knew her petite grandmother possessed. “I’m happy you came today and brought my great-grands.”

  Inside the church office, Pastor and First Lady Reed greeted her with open arms. Then her children stole the show. Ashanti sucked up the attention.

  “Sister Holland, God doesn’t intend to lose one soul He has redeemed, but the choice is ours. You made that choice when you came today. I don’t know the circumstances between you and your children’s father, but we are closer to the end than we were this morning. If you want to continue your relationship with their father, then he must repent and be baptized in Jesus’ name and pray for Jesus to fill him with the Holy Ghost. Then I’ll be more than happy to marry you.”

  “He’s already married,” Halcyon said in a soft voice.

  First Lady Reed sucked in her breath, but didn’t say anything. Pastor Reed’s expression didn’t change. Then Halcyon realized how she phrased that. “Ah, I didn’t fool around with a married man. Some sins, I just can’t commit, but we did live together until I got pregnant with Jonathan. I moved out when I realized he wasn’t going to marry me.” She swallowed. The rejection still hurt. “I heard he recently got married to another woman, so there will be no reconciliation between us.”

  He nodded. “I see,” he said while his wife seemingly relaxed in her chair. “And God has a blessing for you too. You have a strong support system around you. Make sure you’re faithfully attending church and reading your Bible.”

  Pastor Reed’s consultation concluded less than thirty minutes later, then he offered her prayer. “Oh Father God, in the mighty name of Jesus, we thank You for our daughter returning to the fold in the nick of time before Your return. We thank You for forgiving and forgetting her sins, according to Micah 7:18-19. Lord, help her to press on and stay faithful to You, in Jesus’ name. Amen.”

  Later that evening, Halcyon called Desi. She was still blown away with how God, others and even church members easily accepted her return. “I can’t believe salvation is so simple.”

  “I know. We’re the ones who make it complicated.” They chatted until their children began to whine. Halcyon went to bed, believing that prayer really did change things and she was more determined to reacquaint herself with the Word.

  The next morning, Halcyon began her workweek ready, even with sleeping bags for the children.

  She
had barely gotten settled at her desk when Paisley strolled in oohing and ahhing over the children. Jonathan ate up the attention. Ashanti wanted nothing to do with the woman and ran to Halcyon’s side.

  “Morning, I was hoping we could have lunch and get to know each other,” Paisley stated as if it wasn’t an invitation, but a demand.

  “I’m sorry, I’m eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with my babies today,” she said, then turned to get to work.

  Chapter 9

  Zachary wasn’t going to let Halcyon win this battle as he leaned on the corner of her desk, interrupting her from doing what he paid her to do. He couldn’t help himself. Halcyon was already pretty, but since returning to church the previous week, the woman was glowing. “It’s your birthday, Bridget, and I want to take you shopping. My treat.”

  “You’ve already treated me, Zach. This position, the flexibility, the benefits… Plus, the best gift I could ever have is those two sleeping over there.” Halcyon pointed to the twin cots on the play area side of the room. He had ordered them online, and they were delivered yesterday.

  Halcyon stated that she didn’t need anything, but he did, and Zachary was staring at her. “Hiring you was business. This is personal. Haven’t you learned anything about us Bishop men? We’re determined.”

  “Yes, you and Michael are.” Rolling her eyes, Halcyon finally conceded after they’d been going back and forth for a while. “All right. Take me to the dollar store.”

  Right. Zachary wasn’t a shopper by any means. He preferred to drive up to the door of the store, walk inside and leave less than twenty minutes later with his purchases. But for Halcyon, he would endure a shopping spree to pamper her.

  On Saturday morning, Zachary bypassed Dollar General Store, grinning at Halcyon while en route to Taubman Prestige Outlets, one of West County’s newest outdoor malls. He parked in the lot and came around and helped Halcyon out first, then the children in the back seat.