Journey to Water's Heart

by Lea Ben Shlomo

  Refreshments were brought to the room—tea, tiny vanilla rolls, and baskets of pitted fruit.

  The Blue king entered, and the discussions began with greetings, official declarations from both sides, and the queen’s apology. Both sides presented their offers. They discussed the clauses in detail, until they managed to write a document that was acceptable to both sides. It was decided that they would remove the barriers that Galrock had set up and instead establish free border passages. The borders would return to their prewar positions. Peace would be established between Anura and Nautilin and would be strictly maintained for many generations to come. In order to prevent hostility, it was decided that they would hold joint cultural events, competitions, and festive events. Trade relations would be renewed. The market on the hill would open again. Ministers would be sent to the two countries. The changes would be made gradually. After so many years of hostility and resentment, it would be hard to force people to change their tendencies.

  The meeting continued until the late hours of the evening. During the course of the night and the next day, documents requiring the Blue king’s signature would be written, in order to enable the king to return home as soon as possible.

  Before the meeting ended, the Blue king thanked his hosts for their hospitality and fine treatment. He mentioned their readiness to put aside resentments and hostility, which had been exacerbated as a result of the war, and to do whatever they could to establish peace between the countries. “I have met a noble, wise queen,” he said. “Surrounded by loyal, kind people. With their help, I am sure your country will overcome the difficulties and shortages caused by the war, and the country will blossom and flourish.”

  Hearing those words, Laorin rose to her feet and shook his hand. His words were like balm on her wounds.

  Halior pursed her lips. Yet again, her sister couldn’t contain her emotions. Although she had come to her senses and was managing matters appropriately, once again, the Red blood surging in her veins revealed itself.

  “I hope this evening we not only signed a peace treaty,” the Blue king said. “But also a pact of friendship between the Blue Palace and the White Palace.”

  “Of course,” the queen said. She congratulated the king on the birth of his son and promised to make an effort to finish their joint matters the next day.

  The Blues erupted in hurrahs and raucous applause, while the horrified Whites clapped politely. The Blues’ gaffe regarding order and restraint couldn’t ruin the atmosphere of goodwill and the tired participants’ joy.

  A festive dinner signaled the end of the day and relieved the tension. King Dark Blue contributed to the meal the excellent bottles of wine he had brought with him, which raised a warm flush even on the faces of the strictest Whites.

  When the meal ended, the queen entered her study to complete several lists. She sent for Tanti.

  “Forgive me for the late hour,” she said. “I’ve just finished my public obligations.”

  “I’m glad you called for me, Your Majesty. I’ve just completed my own ‘obligations.’ After almost a year on the road, every day bringing a new experience and adventure, I feel heavy and tired, as though someone’s poured lead into my limbs.”

  “You know, of course, that you can stay here as long as you like.”

  “Thank you, Your Majesty. There is nothing I find more pleasant than sitting with you. But I must return to my country.”

  “Please, don’t call me Your Majesty when we’re alone. In your presence, I wish for several hours of freedom. To be Laorin. To be myself. Not the queen with all her duties.”

  “As you wish, Your—Laorin.”

  “Tell me about Izmeran.”

  Tanti told her about his country, its people, and his family. About his father and two brothers and their expertise regarding the crystal mines.

  “You miss them very much,” Laorin said. Tanti nodded. “I miss my parents as well. They’re both dead…”

  “I’m sorry…”

  She told him about her mother, who came from Admin. About the hostility and alienation that she came across in Anura. She told him about her visit to Admin, what a revelation it was, and how it made her see how wrong the Whites were to condescend to other countries.

  “Our pride protects us and is unique to us. But it’s also our downfall,” she said. “Many wars are caused just because people or entire countries think they’re more worthy than others. I’ve learned a painful lesson the hard way, Tanti. I also suspect my parents didn’t die of an illness, but were poisoned. I didn’t want to believe my gut feeling. After all, they were enlightened rulers who were kind to their people and country. They wanted to change this patronizing approach. They wanted to liberate oppressed countries ruled by the Whites. They wanted to sign treaties with neighboring countries. Now, I’m starting to understand that change without preparation arouses firm objections with the extremists who want to preserve tradition. But their protest isn’t borne out of a love of the White culture. I suspect what guides those extremists is the need to be more right than anyone else, stronger than anyone else, and rule the area. I should’ve fought them, not the Blues.”

  She bit her lip and fell silent, then she reached out and Tanti grasped her hand between his own.

  “I find myself talking to you, Tanti, liked I’ve never talked to anyone before. We Whites, we walk down the paths outlined for us. Straying from them forces us to pay a heavy price. Sometimes, I think I’m not White enough. My heart is weary of White. I yearn for other colors as well. ‘Choose your directions according to the guidance of your heart,’ the wise man Aklivor once told you. These words have no place in Anura. And I yearn to choose according to the guidance of my heart. Yet I fear the consequences.”

  “Leave things as they are. The solutions will come, as long as you listen to your heart and logic.”

  “What would you do if you were me?”

  “When I’m in despair, and I can’t find answers to my questions, I enter Attunity.”

  “What’s that?”

  “My father taught me to ask the question, then close my eyes. I withdraw into myself, relax my body, and clear my mind of thoughts and words, of the noise that’s always within us and prevents us from seeing the simple truth. Out of that quiet and purity, the answer arrives.”

  “Can you teach me Attunity?”

  “Of course. Just don’t be disappointed if nothing happens the first time. You have to practice it many times.”

  “Let’s do it now, and tomorrow, at dawn, we’ll ride to the spring and practice again. What do you think?”

  “I think that’s a good idea.”

  They didn’t feel the time pass until the queen’s ladies-in-waiting came to help her prepare for the night.

  Tanti took his leave. He stood and bowed deeply before the queen and her ladies and prepared to leave. Suddenly, he burst into laughter.

  “What happened?” Laorin asked. “Why are you laughing?”

  “Nothing, I just remembered something.” He wanted to leave. The girls, encouraged when they saw how relaxed the queen was, grabbed his arm and asked that he tell them what had amused him.

  He laughed again. “Here, I go to my room, and I know exactly where I have to go to,” Tanti said. “I remembered the first time I arrived at the Blue Palace.” He told them how he’d wandered along the twisted corridors, searching for the king’s headquarters, trying to understand where the arrows were pointing to, without understanding that those arrows were actually letters. And how he kept finding himself again and again in the same place. The ladies-in-waiting laughed, and the queen joined in their laughter. They wouldn’t let him leave until he told them what else he’d seen there, in Nautilin. What did Queen Cyan look like and what did she wear?”

  “Queen Cyan,” Tanti said, “is kind and pleasant. She’s extremely unexpected when it comes to clothes. She designs her
clothes herself and creates daring and original patterns. The palace women try to dress like her, but I don’t think they’re very successful, and every festive event looks like a costume party.”

  This time he roared with laughter. They listened to him, amused and unbelieving. Was this even possible? The Blue queen designed her own clothes and changed patterns as she wished? Before he left, he told them about the Nautilin girls’ favorite hair ornament. They’d stick a fragrant blue flower in their hair, and a butterfly of a certain kind would fearlessly perch inside it. Their wonder grew. They made him swear to continue telling them about the Blues and other things he had come across in his journeys.

  He took his leave and heard them repeat his stories excitedly.

  The next day, in the early morning hours, Tanti and the queen went riding. They stopped by the spring, where Tanti had seen her after he had escaped the White Tower with Dionun.

  While the horses grazed, the two of them sat by the spring and talked. Laorin wanted to learn more about Izmeran. About the way of life there. “I wish I could travel to your country,” she said. “To the wide open green spaces and the freedom you speak of.”

  She remained adamant even after he told her about the disease that had attacked Izmeran’s soil and turned it infertile.

  “Yes, that is troublesome,” she said. “So what do you eat?”

  “We eat what we buy in the neighboring countries in exchange for crystals and jewelry.” He told her about the bandits, and that he had been sent to search for something… That would heal the land. He’d found what he was searching for. Therefore, he had to return home quickly. But he didn’t know what route he’d take.

  Laorin promised to send one of her men to him with a map. The man was well acquainted with the entire country. He’d help him choose his route. She’d provide supplies for the journey. Six cavalrymen would accompany him.

  Before the queen returned to work, she asked that they practice Attunity. Tanti willingly agreed. Her company added charm and pleasure to every deed.

  At noon, there was a farewell ceremony for the Blue king. The food wagon was replenished with a selection of Anura’s products. The king and his people received gifts, among them lovely pottery created by the best artisans. For the tiny prince, the king received garments that tiny White heirs customarily wore and beautiful toys, gifts from the White queen and her sister. Queen Laorin sent a letter of congratulations to Queen Cyan, and added a gift that touched the king deeply. It was a small handbook with drawings of patterns of the most elite dresses of White tradition. He was confident Cyan would be overjoyed. The next day, there would be a lineup welcoming the soldiers, medals of valor and grants would be distributed, and the temporary army recruits would be discharged and sent home.

  Tanti and the queen had time only for a short meeting. Every minute together was rare and as precious as gold, as the shadow of separation hovered over them painfully.

  Tanti postponed his departure by one day and then another. He told the queen he didn’t need six cavalrymen. One escort was enough, a guide who would show him the way and take leave of him at the Anurian border. The queen insisted she had to ensure his safety. The guide who was supposed to accompany him left to search for a passable passage to Izmeran.

  Tanti, forced to wait for his return, wasn’t sorry for the extra time at his disposal. Every day, he checked the mushroom crystals he had hidden against his chest. He added just a few drops of water. None of the crystals were harmed. On the contrary, it seemed as though they were thriving and multiplying.

  The guide finally returned, after finding a new route, which was slightly longer than the route Tanti had taken when he arrived at Anura, but it was safe from the furroids and comfortable for walking. For the last time, Tanti checked the arrows embroidered on the scarf. The route corresponded with their direction.

  At noon, Halior entered her sister’s headquarters and asked to speak with her privately. The queen sent her attendants and helpers away.

  “Something bothering you, Halior?” the queen asked.

  “Yes. Your frequent meetings with the Izmerandi, you going out to ride with him, and you and your girls spending time with him in the evenings in a loose manner. Don’t let the gossips ruin your good name.”

  “What’s really concerning you, sister?”

  “I fear his influence over you. You’re growing distant. Your speech has changed—your movements, even your expression. You act like a young, carefree girl having fun.”

  “Indeed, I am a young girl having some fun for a few hours during my long day. I’m not neglecting my duties.”

  “You’re conducting yourself wisely and responsibly, in a way that is honorable and awe-inspiring,” Halior said. “Nevertheless, you must maintain the obligatory conduct of a White queen.”

  “The hours I spend in Tanti’s company are the hours during which I live and breathe freely. I’m happy, sister. Yes, I’m having fun. I’m saying whatever’s in my heart, and listening to stories from rich and various worlds. I’m being introduced to wisdom and joys I’ve never known before. Don’t ask me to part with those things. Besides, soon he’ll return to his country, and life without him will seem unbearably empty and boring.”

  Halior went to her and hugged her for a long time. “Your monarchy is hard on you,” she said.

  “If I could, I’d abdicate my crown and live like everyone else.”

  “Stop talking that way,” Halior said. “Despite all the difficulties, you’re an outstanding queen.”

  “I don’t want to be outstanding. At night, I dream of life in a house surrounded by grass and flowers, about a family and friends who come to visit me, and not to take advantage of me using flattery and self-effacement. And the man I marry will be the man I love, not a prince chosen in order to unite and strengthen our kingdoms.”

  When she saw her sister’s horrified expression, Laorin softened her tone. “Forgive me, dear sister. I won’t continue talking this way.”

  “I’m not heartless or emotionless, Laorin. I know of your struggles with yourself. I wish I could help you and not trouble you endlessly with my comments.”

  Without another word, Halior left her sister’s headquarters and went to her rooms.

  ***

  On the border of Anura and the Kingdom of Admin was the Red Valley. Unlike the forested mountain regions, this was a valley with sparse vegetation. Howling winds dwelled among the crevices and terrorized those who dared pass through. The winds blew violently and filed the rocks, sculpting them into shapes that looked like huge mushrooms scattered in the area. Sometimes, the red sand would rise and swirl in the warm air, fall again, and slowly fade.

  In the past, the valley was where the mages gathered annually. They would arrive from all the surrounding countries, to conduct ceremonies of meditation and empowerment, enrich their knowledge regarding healing, and bestow titles upon new apprentices and mages. In those days, healers and mages served as advisors to the kings and rulers. After the War of the Edges, they lost their power. They scattered and disappeared. There were no more gatherings for the younger generations, and they didn’t find successors. The valley stood abandoned. No one lived there. Once in a very long while, it served as a punishment and exile zone for dignitaries who abused their office.

  The rising sun colored the valley red. Only one house stood on the mountainside, a wide structure with several wings, hewn into the rock, on the slope of the cliff facing the abyss.

  This was where Galrock had been sent, after he was found guilty of forging the letters, starting the war, and hiding facts from the battlefield. He was declared a traitor to his country. He would spend the rest of his life in isolation in the Red Valley, with only several guards and servicemen, who would be replaced once a month.

  His punishment was heavy. Galrock, without his status or rank, looked like a helpless old man. Without the powder, his body
had shrunk. Powerful headaches plagued him mercilessly. Sometimes, he felt as though his body was drying and heating, as though he had live flames within him. After that, he would shiver with cold, and then burn up again.

  During those moments, he became withdrawn and hid from his people. When the pain eased, his thoughts returned to torture him. All he’d wanted was to lead her after his big dream. He had strived to make her the queen of the north and all its neighboring countries, with him at her side. He would’ve given her eternal life and unlimited power.

  And his master, who had guided him and led him to glory, who had promised him he’d rule the world, had been the one to abandon him first. He must’ve sensed the approaching collapse and escaped to the darkness of Nadam Forest in the Mediate country.

  As twilight fell, the entire valley turned red under the blazing rays of the setting sun. He tried to close his ears to the piercing, howling wind. The shame surrounding him was relentless. Within the rising howl, he heard her soft, bitter, desperate voice. “Why? I trusted you.”

  Why hadn’t Laorin ordered that he be killed where he stood? Why did she spare his life and exile him to this awful place, to rot in his sorrow, rage, and disappointment?

  He fled into the house and closed the shutters. The howl of the wind abated, unlike the scream that tore his heart.

  If only you knew, oh, White queen, that the most terrible punishment of all is never seeing you again…

  Chapter 51

  Questions

  In the afternoon, Tanti was summoned to a meeting with Nikon, the queen’s advisor and head minister. Nikon thanked him again for his part in the trial, apologized for his imprisonment, and expressed his hope that Tanti felt comfortable and was receiving everything he needed. Now, from up close, Tanti was impressed by the force of Nikon’s personality. He was quick-minded, assertive, and to the point, and chose his words carefully.

  Halior also entered the room and joined them.

  Nikon asked him about Izmeran. Tanti answered in detail, carefully skirting anything that could expose his secret. He asked about Tanti’s family. What did his father do? What was his status in the social hierarchy?