The Daughter He Wanted

by Kristina Knight

  This was your brilliant idea, remember?

  Yeah, she remembered. But it had seemed like a much more innocuous plan—their families meeting, deepening the bond between Alex and Kaylie—in theory than in reality. The reality was everything from Paige’s work to her dating Alex would be fair game to her mother. And once Hank and Dot learned she was dating a park ranger those little hits would turn into full-on missile strikes. The Parkers might hate her and Kaylie.

  The bigger reality: that Alex might still be in love with his dead wife. No matter how attached to Kaylie he was, Paige might always be just the woman who came along with the daughter package he’d chosen to accept.

  As if sensing her sudden nerves, Alex reached across the seat to hold her hand. “It’ll be okay,” he said.

  “I know,” she lied. After today, nothing might be okay. Everything might be okay. Things might still be in this weird limbo that made her twitchy.

  “Really. I know what to expect from Hank and Dot after their last barbecue appearance. As for John and Sue, they’re quiet people. They won’t cause a scene.”

  Paige glanced at Kaylie and even though the little girl seemed focused on her coloring book she pitched her voice lower. “They weren’t crazy about me being a single mom but they’ve mostly adjusted. I’m not sure how they’ll react to the daddy news.”

  Alex joined her on the other side of the counter. “They’ll react badly.” He shrugged when Paige cut her eyes to him. “Based on their last stellar barbecue performance. They love Kaylie. They’ll feel threatened by me, maybe by John and Sue, too. They’ll blame you.”

  “You read another psychology book, didn’t you?”

  Alex grinned. “Seemed like the smart thing to do. It was a book on blending families.”

  “And?”

  “And in theory we’re doing everything right already. In reality, your parents and my extended family aren’t expecting what they’re about to get today and...” He trailed off and stared into space for a moment, as if thinking about something unpleasant. There was a hint of anger in his gaze, a heaviness in the slant of his shoulders.

  Paige squeezed his hand in hers. “And?”

  “And John and Sue are good people, but they’ve never really gotten over Deanna’s death.”

  Translation: Paige would be the interloper in their eyes while Alex was the unwanted party for Hank and Dot.

  “Are we crazy for trying to make this as easy as possible?”

  He shook his head. “No, and no matter what happens this afternoon, I’m glad we’re at least trying.”

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  ALEX TURNED A kabob on the grill, wondering how to start a conversation. Not the conversation, that could wait, but standing at the grill on Paige’s deck while Hank and Dot sat a few feet away and not talking was just too weird. Paige bustled inside and out, getting the table ready. Kaylie colored quietly at the umbrella table and he wondered again what to say to Paige’s parents.

  He rolled his shoulders as a particularly heavy stare rested on him once more. Not Hank—he’d been oblivious to everyone at the barbecue since they’d arrived. Dot, on the other hand, seemed overly curious about why Alex was there. Dot Kenner was obviously not convinced this was a casual friendship.

  Alex was torn equally between telling Dot exactly how things were and just leaving it at the friendship stage. Because until they told Kaylie everything, he didn’t feel right about telling anyone else; it seemed unfair. Especially unfair since his in-laws probably at least suspected there was more between him and Paige than a daughter.

  What foolish part of his brain thought this was a good idea?

  The smell of burning vegetables and chicken brought Alex back to the present and he quickly put the kabobs on the upper rack so they could stay warm until lunch was ready.

  “I’m going to check on the rest of our lunch. Can I get either of you anything?”

  Hank shook his head. Dot, hands folded in her lap, said, “Thank you, no.”

  Alex briefly considered slipping a shot of Jaeger into whatever they were drinking with lunch. Hank and Dot needed to relax.

  Paige dumped more ice into a container as he stepped through the sliding door.

  “The Parkers still aren’t here.” Paige chewed on her lower lip, a habit he’d picked up on that first day. Her small white teeth worried the corner of her pink mouth as if she might solve the world hunger crisis if she only had the time.

  “They’re never late. I told them noon, they’ll be here.” But it was almost that time and he wondered if maybe this event was too much, too soon for the couple. “I can call them, if it’ll make you feel better.”

  Paige nodded and put two more glasses on the large serving tray.

  Alex hit the speed-dial button on his cell phone and waited while the phone rang.

  “Hey, did I tell you about the horses getting skunked?” Paige needed a distraction so Alex plunged into the story he told Kaylie when he first arrived. Paige held up a hand to stop him.

  “Kaylie can be distracted by stories about skunks and tomatoes, not me,” she said, hugging him around the neck as the phone kept ringing. “But thank you for trying.

  Alex clicked off the phone. “No answer, which means they’re on the way.” Paige’s shoulders were stiff so Alex hugged her tighter, rubbing her shoulders gently, and hoping she would relax. He knew most of her tension was from her own parents already being outside, but meeting his in-laws couldn’t be an easy thing. He slipped his arms around her waist and squeezed. Paige’s hands held on to his forearms and she leaned against him for a brief moment.

  “I know. Everything will be fine.” But she didn’t sound fine. She sounded upset.

  “It will. No matter what your mother or my in-laws say, everything will be fine.”

  Maybe if he repeated that to himself enough times he’d actually believe it. No, that was the tension talking. How could everything not be fine? He had a wonderful daughter, was dating a beautiful woman and most nights now he fell asleep thinking about her rather than listening to the sound of a canned television laugh track.

  Most nights he didn’t dream about Deanna or those last few weeks of her life. Didn’t worry that she would hate him for moving on. Alex pulled Paige more firmly against his body. Just the other night he’d had a rather erotic dream about Paige, in his big sleigh bed. He’d woken up feeling guilty about the dream and then convinced himself it was natural to feel guilty about having another woman in Dee’s bed.

  And Friday he’d donated that bed to a local charity and bought a new four-poster in Farmington.

  He felt reasonably sure the next dream he had about Paige wouldn’t have the guilty afterglow.

  The grandmother clock chimed noon and right on cue the doorbell rang. Paige’s shoulders went tense again. Alex turned her around to face him.

  “It will be okay. And if it’s not, we’ll still be okay. Okay?”

  She nodded. “I’m sorry I’m kind of falling apart.”

  “Please, I’m a park ranger, remember? I’m trained for high-stress situations.” He shrugged one shoulder and pasted a goofy smile on his face. It worked. A genuine smile stretched across Paige’s face and the tension in her shoulders drained away.

  “I don’t think your course load of horticulture and accounting has anything on Dot Kenner.”

  Together they answered the front door.

  Ten minutes later, all the introductions had been made and everyone sat around Paige’s deck table, passing the plate of kabobs and bowls of vegetables and salad. No one said more than “please pass the peas,” and the silence was killing Alex.

  Kaylie seemed oblivious as she chased a pea around her plate with her small fork, and he watched the sets of older couples with trepidation.

  “So, Mr. Parker, how is planting going? Is the nice weather making it easy to get the winter wheat in?” Paige’s voice sounded desperate to Alex’s ears.

  John swallowed a bite of chicken and tilted his head t
o the side. “Well, winter wheat planting finished a couple of weeks ago, and the nice weather has made it a little easier to get the soybeans in, too.”

  “Great.” Paige squeezed his hand beneath the table, but before he could keep the conversation going Dot interrupted.

  “So you’re farm people then,” Dot said from her side of the table. The way she said “farm” made it sound as if John and Sue might be from a leper colony.

  “John’s a centennial farmer.” Alex joined the conversation, hoping everyone at the table would chill out. “His family has owned the same plot of land since the eighteen hundreds.”

  “Mmm. That must be...stimulating,” Dot said as she pushed two peas onto her fork and daintily ate them. Damn, but Paige’s mother was a piece of work.

  “There is a lot that goes into farming, Mother,” Paige said from beside Alex. “They have to know weather patterns like meteorologists, have a head for banking like financiers. They read the ground and know when to rotate fields or let one go fallow to build up the nitrates. It’s a complex job.”

  “Well, I’m surprised you never brought one home before, being that they’re so insightful and brilliant.”

  “Mother.” Paige clenched her jaw and the single word carried a warning.

  “Alex saved a kitten.” Kaylie gave up on her fork and popped a couple of peas into her mouth using her fingers. “And he gave a horse a bath with tomatoes.”

  “I’m sure he’s done many interesting things,” Dot said and then turned her attention back to Paige. “I only meant—”

  “We know what you meant.” This time Sue joined the conversation, her voice solid and strong and not at all the voice Alex remembered from her phone call a few days before. Maybe it had just been a bad morning. Maybe seeing him drop everything to come out to the farm had been enough to right her shaky world once more. “You meant farmers aren’t good enough for your precious daughter. Maybe a farmer wouldn’t be, but Alex is no farmer. He’s a brilliant conservationist and has wonderful ideas about bringing more people to the parks, and preserving the land for future generations.”

  “I’m sure his job is...challenging. I’m just not certain it’s the kind of job that can support a family.”

  Kaylie kept talking, oblivious to the adults’ conversation. “Alex is going to take us camping sometime.”

  Dot talked over her granddaughter. “And he is D-A-T-I-N-G a family, not just a single woman.”

  “And he comes to my swim parties and he—”

  “Kaylie, hush, the adults are talking.” Dot flung her hand toward Kaylie, whose little face crumpled. Alex saw red.

  “Mrs. Kenner, that is enough.”

  Paige took a bewildered Kaylie inside and settled her with a book and her tablet before calmly closing the door to return to the deck.

  “First, don’t ever speak to my daughter that way again. Now, Mother, since you’re hell-bent on having your say, say it.” She returned to the table to sit beside him.

  Alex wanted to applaud Paige for standing up for their daughter. For his in-laws, in a small way.

  “I think you’re making a mistake, dating this hiker when you could be working on your art or dating a doctor or a lawyer. How many men have I introduced you to in the past four years?”

  “Zero. You’ve seemed content to tell me what a mistake I’ve made being a single mom. But who I date is my decision. Mine. And yes—” she took Alex’s hand under the table “—I choose to date this man. Who is kind and decent and likes ou— my kid.” She stumbled over the word my and Alex knew why. They’d agreed not to tell her parents about his paternity, not yet.

  “If you’d like I can fax my resume to you tomorrow,” Alex said, trying to lighten the mood. Two pairs of angry eyes focused on him while the other couple, John and Sue, seemed to look anywhere but directly at him.

  “We aren’t concerned about your degrees,” Hank said, speaking for the first time. His voice was deep and carried across the backyard, much like it would carry across a packed auditorium when he taught at the college, Alex thought. “Our concern is that anyone who comes into contact with Kaylie could change the trajectory of her life. Are you willing to take that risk?”

  Change the trajectory? Alex stiffened his shoulders. What the hell was the man talking about? She had no trajectory other than kindergarten and from what Alex could see she was bang on target there.

  “You don’t have to worry about Alex messing up any trajectories,” John said from across the table. “He’s a smart, capable man. Paige and Kaylie are lucky to have him in their lives.”

  Finally a reasonable voice at the table. Alex wanted to reach across the table and hug his father-in-law. He settled for squeezing Paige’s hand. She threaded her fingers with his and squeezed back, as if John’s words had bolstered her spirits, as well.

  “Kaylie’s trajectory is amazing. She’s a smart kid,” Alex said.

  “And you know this how?”

  “Can’t you see it?” Hank’s question baffled Alex. Who couldn’t see the sweet, smart, funny girl for exactly what she was? “She reads those two-and three-word sentence books, she knows her way around technology. Her teachers and classmates love her.”

  “People liking her will have little impact on her future career choices—”

  Alex cut him off. “People liking her will have a huge impact on her self-esteem and that will determine her career choices.” The older man scowled at him but didn’t say anything more.

  Sue sniffled, the strength she’d displayed earlier seeping away. “I guess I can see why they’ve pulled you away from us. Ready-made family and—”

  “Sue.” John’s voice held a warning but his wife ignored it.

  Sue focused on her husband, as if the rest of the table had disappeared. “It’s plain to see the connection he has to Kaylie. I understand it—she is a sweet little girl. Even a blind man who couldn’t see the physical resemblance would know it.” She turned to Alex. “I guess—I guess you really are moving on.” Pain filled her voice along with a breathiness that made it seem as if Sue was ready to break. Before Alex could comfort her, Dot gasped.

  “Physical... My God, Paige, he’s the donor?” From her tone, it seemed Alex had joined the farmer/leper colony with John and Sue. “How could you invite that man into Kaylie’s life without telling us about it first? This changes everything. Do you even know what he wants?”

  “Yes, Mother, I know what he wants. He wants to sue me for sole custody and make sure you never see your granddaughter again.” John and Sue, Hank and Dot all focused on Paige, who rolled her eyes and seemed to gain strength from their close inspection. “He wants to get to know his daughter, Mother. We want to get to know one another. No matter what happens between us, we’re committed to raising Kaylie to the best of our abilities.” She focused on John and Sue. “He’s told me about Deanna and she sounds like a wonderful woman.”

  Alex felt a little stab to his heart with that, because he hadn’t told Paige much about Deanna at all. Yet she was willing to try to comfort Dee’s parents, who were obviously having trouble with his change from widower to father and boyfriend. He wasn’t giving her enough credit, not nearly enough. Alex didn’t want to bring Dee into their relationship, for his past to impact his future, but it seemed she was already there. And that seemed okay.

  Tears pricked the corners of John’s eyes and he hastily wiped them away. Sue sniffled. Alex patted Sue with one hand but held tight to Paige with the other. It was as if holding on to her helped steady him in the storm of Sue’s anguish.

  “Who is Deanna?” Dot’s voice ran imperiously across the table.

  “His wife. She died a few years ago.”

  “You’re dating a widower?” Apparently being a park ranger was only the tip of the iceberg of things wrong with Alex in Dot’s eyes. “Paige, really.”

  “Mother, stop. It’s my choice.”

  Dot put her fingers to her forehead. “You’re dating Kaylie’s biological father, who was
married to someone else, and you see nothing wrong with this picture?”

  “No, I don’t.”

  “Alex is a fine man.” Sue sniffled out the words from her side of the table.

  Dot ignored that. “You had a future. A gallery showing in St. Louis, a chance to make something of yourself. And now you’re pinning your future—Kaylie’s future—on a park ranger who’s already been married and is a sperm donor to boot?”

  “He wasn’t a donor. Alex and his wife were undergoing fertility treatments, and there was a mistake made at the clinic.” Alex saw Paige squinch her eyes closed and grit her teeth. “We’ve been over the gallery showing, Mother, and it’s always going to be a no. As for my future, how about I’m dating a strong, caring man who happens to enjoy spending time with my kid?”

  “You have no idea the can of worms you are opening, Paige, and I, for one, know nothing good will ever come of it.”

  John stood, pulling a still-sniffling Sue up with him. “Thank you for lunch. It was nice meeting you, Paige, but I think we should go.”

  “You don’t have to—”

  “Thank you for allowing us to meet Alex’s...your daughter.” He cleared his throat. “Thank you.” He and Sue began walking around to the front of the house.

  “Now that they’re gone, I hope we can have a real conversation about the ramifications of you dating this man,” Dot began, but Alex cut her off.

  “The ramifications are that I’m staying.” Alex stood, towering over the table. “I like your daughter and granddaughter and I’m a part of their lives now. Our hope in inviting you here today was that we could all get to know one another on an adult level. I can see now that isn’t going to happen.”

  “Well, I never—”

  “Well, you should.” Paige stood beside Alex. “We are dating, Mother and Dad. We plan to see a lot of one another. Alex is building a bond with Kaylie and we’ll tell her the whole truth about who he is when she is ready.”