Breathless

by Sarah Sanders

  “Or we could go to mine,” Sonny responded likewise.

  “It’s strange but I don’t know where you live.”

  “Of course you do…you dropped me home after the winery.”

  “You live at peakrest?”

  “C’mon.”

  Sonny led Lara to the thick hedge and slipped behind one of the dwarf firs. She opened an unexpected door in the hedge and let Lara precede her.

  “Wow,” Lara exclaimed. The door had opened into a beautifully landscaped garden with an explosion of colourful flowering bushes, a koi pond with a small waterfall and rocks untouched from their original places.

  “I redid the façade of the building so you can’t make out from the front, but there are a couple more floors and a lot of space beside peakrest,” Sonny led Lara on to the porch which was flush with the garden. “The porch wraps around and you can come down the front from three or four roads.”

  The huge open plan living room had one wall made completely of glass to view the sea. The ground floor had the living room, kitchen, dining area, an office, an R&R room and a clearly unused gym. The upper floor had four bedrooms.

  The master bedroom had French windows that led to a fair-sized balcony.

  “Sonny, this is absolutely amazing,” Lara walked in from the balcony, blown by the minimalist interiors and muted colours that made everything look so much bigger. It was luxurious but welcoming and comfortable.

  “You like?” Sonny asked, her smile gratified and her eyes telling Lara how much her response meant to Sonny.

  Lara rested her arms on Sonny’s shoulders playing with her hair. In a well-choreographed move, Sonny’s arms automatically went around Lara’s waist. “There is nothing I less than like or adore about you,” Lara leaned in and kissed Sonny’s eyes…her cheek…along her jaw. “Are we done with the tour?” Lara whispered dangerously close to Sonny’s ear.

  “Not quite,”…huskily, walking backwards.

  “Yes, we are,”…a growl of frustration.

  “Uh uh,”…turning them around so Lara was walking backwards. “Got to show you the most important part.”

  “Sonny!”…exasperated.

  Sonny kissed Lara unhurriedly. She licked Lara’s lower lip and Lara sighed with relief.

  “I’ve been wanting to do this all day,” Sonny confessed.

  “What stopped you?”…breathily.

  “I don’t want you to think I am a lust-filled creeper.”

  “Are you?”

  “God, yes…just…maybe not a creep.”

  “Good. I want you to be lust-filled about me,” Lara blushed like this was the first time someone was making her feel desired. Her eyes and smile were shy, but voice was firm. The backs of her legs hit Sonny’s massive king-sized bed.

  “Last stop of the tour,” Sonny lowered Lara on the bed and kissed her with ferocious passion. Much as Lara enjoyed the slow, sensual kisses, this hot, fast, hard, erotic one had her throbbing instantly. She moaned sensuously into Sonny’s mouth…a sound that Sonny gladly drank in.

  Lara shimmied towards the centre of the bed and scooched towards the pillows with Sonny crawling along.

  Sonny kissed along Lara’s delectable throat, drawing a wet line with an avid tongue and Lara squirmed with the sensation that touch sent through her entire body. She moaned and gripped Sonny around her shoulders tight. Sonny slipped her hand under Lara’s singlet exulting at the feel of the impossibly soft skin. Lara wriggled to get rid of the thin material which seemed way too much right now. Sonny slid the singlet and the sports bra underneath it upwards and Lara lifted her shoulders and head to ease them off.

  Lara was stunningly exquisite. Flawless soft skin, toned body and perfect proportions. She was staggeringly magical. Her perfect breasts burst free, standing proud with her nipples puckered and protruding. Sonny was awestruck as she ran reverent fingers across Lara’s torso with a worshipful touch.

  Sonny’s featherlight touches sparked simmering arousal in Lara. Sonny ran her fingers across Lara’s clavicle, shoulder to shoulder; along Lara’s sensitive flanks and abdomen. She followed the path with her lips and tongue, gently scratching Lara with blunt nails and dragging her teeth along her waist. Lara had never been so turned on in her lie. She whimpered with arousal holding on to the back of Sonny’s head and her forearm.

  Sonny licked the tip of Lara’s nipple with the very tip of her tongue and Lara felt that she would combust. She groaned, pulling Sonny’s hand to her other breast. Sonny ran her tongue around Lara’s tit; pinching, twisting and pulling the other one with gentle fingers. Lara cried out softly…a guttural sound of want. It was like Sonny was pushed over by that sound and she could no longer slowly worship. She laved Lara’s breast with urgency and then took into her mouth sucking and flicking the sensitive tit with her hot tongue. She squeezed and kneaded the other breast with hungry fingers. “Fuuuuck,” Lara moaned, squirming and twisting sexily. “Sonny…” she groaned almost pleading.

  Lara had no prior experience to compare what she was feeling. All she could do was shut her eyes and let the rushing, roiling feelings within her body overtake her. She felt her yoga pants getting soaked and couldn’t help but buck her hips. “Sonny….” She moaned again.

  Sonny kissed down and across Lara’s quivering abdomen, running the tip of her finger along the top of her waist band. Lara let out a sibilant primitive sound, digging her nails into Sonny’s shoulder and forearm.

  Sonny slipped her hand into the pants and past the sensible workout cotton panties and touched the just-growing soft pubic hair on Lara’s mound. She scratched Lara’s pubis lightly – and shockingly Lara crossed her legs.

  Lara stopped moving totally. It was like a switch was thrown off. Lara lay still breathing heavily, biting her lip.

  Sonny eased her hand out and slid up to lie beside Lara. She folded her elbow and propped her head on her hand looking down at the beautiful face crossed by a frown of confusion. She rubbed Lara’s arm soothingly waiting for Lara to open her eyes.

  Taking a deep breath, Lara opened her eyes which were glistening with unshed tears.

  She looked into Sonny’s face with heart-breaking vulnerability.

  “Babe…” Sonny said softly wanting to comfort, but not knowing what triggered the tears.

  Sonny’s voice seemed to break the dam and Lara turned into Sonny with a sob, holding her close. Sonny eased her arm down so that Lara could lay her head on her shoulder. Lara held Sonny tighter, pressing her lips into Sonny’s skin as she gathered herself. Sonny held Lara in her arms, hands splayed across her back. Waiting.

  It took some time, but Lara finally kissed Sonny’s shoulder before moving her head a little and raising to upwards to look at Sonny. Lara’s eyes were wide and bare. “I don’t know what happened,” she said apologetically.

  “Are you okay?”…concerned. “Do you want to talk about it? Did I do something wrong?”

  “No…you were amazing. I’ve never been as aroused in my life as I am when you touch me.”

  “But…?”

  “No buts about you, sweets…no buts.”

  “Can I ask you something?”

  “You know you can ask me anything.”

  “Have you enjoyed sex earlier?”

  Lara went quiet, thinking. “I don’t think so,”…musingly.

  “Want to talk to me about it?”

  “Yes…though I’ve never thought or talked about it before,”…a pause. Clearly since this wasn’t something that Lara had thought about before, much less spoken about, she needed to relive things, gather her emotions and feelings. But Lara waded through her thoughts. “Sex was always a means towards a goal for me. I’ve never had sex for pleasure or because I wanted to…I didn’t even particularly want to have sex before you,”…blushing. “I used to just lay there and let the guy fuck me while I thought about the next milestone I wanted to achieve,”…flatly. “Sonny,” …with sudden vibrancy, “This is the first time in my life that my body is reacting
to someone’s touch…that I am fully involved…totally present…that I want it so bad that I can hardly breathe.”

  “So your mental and emotional association with sex is not particularly positive…”

  “That’s true. In fact, I’ve never even got wet before…”…a shy smile, rosy cheeks.

  “Do you think that could be it? Your subconscious is throwing negative associations and stopping you?”

  “That seems to be the only plausible explanation for what just happened,”…thoughtfully. “I’m so sorry…” a tiny catch in her voice.

  “Shhh…it’s okay, jaan…I got you.”

  Jaan…life…Sonny just called me her life. Lara heart clenched with emotion and she licked her suddenly dry lips as her heart thudded. “Sonny, I’m not a tease…I want you to touch me…I want it so badly…”…a sob.

  “Don’t worry babe. It will all happen in its own time.”

  “What if I’m never able to allow it?”…worriedly.

  Sonny kissed her softly, reassuringly. “It doesn’t matter,” she said gently.

  Lara exhaled a long breath and then there was brief silence.

  “What are you thinking?”…a trace of fear in her voice. Please don’t give up on me…please.

  “Just enjoying this moment…loving holding you…feeling perfectly complete in my life with you here...” peacefully.

  “Sweetie, what about you?”…hesitantly.

  “Not sure I understand that question.”

  “Do you want me to…umm…I mean…should I….can I…” Shit, I can do this. Clearing her throat, Lara drew nervous patterns on Sonny’s chest and tried again, “You know, I could kind of…” Ohmygod, just say it already.

  “Are you trying to ask me whether I need release?”…with amusement.

  “Yes,”…mumbled and accompanied by a deep blush.

  “And are you trying to say that even though you’re not turned on at all right now, you would take care of me?”

  “Yes,”…shyly.

  “Lara, look at me,” Sonny waited till Lara looked at her. “What is between us is not about just sex. It is not about release. It is something bigger. And it will always be something we share together.”

  “But I don’t want to leave you frustrated,”…in a low voice.

  “Touching you – in any way – is enough for me, babe,”…stoutly. “Plus, I don’t need more. In fact, I think I am anorgasmic.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “I don’t think I can orgasm.”

  “No! Seriously?”

  “And it’s not important to me,”…with a smile.

  “Is that what they call ‘stone’?” Lara wanted to understand.

  “No. Stone is when a person doesn’t like to be touched. I don’t think that is what I am.” Lara made a mental not to find out about anorgasmia.

  “You don’t think? Meaning, you don’t know?”

  “No, I don’t,”…a little awkwardly.

  Lara straightened up. “Sweetie, have you had sex before?” she asked tenderly.

  “Way…way…way back. Such a long time back that I am a born-again virgin,” Sonny tried to joke.

  “How long back?”

  “Twenty years.”

  Lara swallowed her shock, schooling her features to not change expression. “Sonny, you are madly attractive. How is that even possible?”

  “I guess the problem is me. For me sex has always been a physical expression of emotion. I don’t understand sex without emotion,”…softly.

  Lara felt a huge emotion cascade in her. Her heart swelled, threatening to burst, at what was implied in what Sonny had just confided and butterflies swarmed in her stomach. But I need to wait for her to say it…I can’t force her…

  “Can I tell you a secret?” and before Sonny could respond, Lara continued, “I’ve never orgasmed…not before you kissed me the other night.”

  “Never?”

  “I’ve faked it a lot…I’ve channelled my inner Meg Ryan so much and so often that by now I can out-Meg Ryan Meg Ryan,” Lara grinned mischievously, “But I’ve never felt anything.”

  “Never brought yourself to an orgasm?”

  “I don’t masturbate.”…a pause, “Do you?”

  “Touching myself has never done anything for me,” Sonny said.

  “So what has it been for you? Toys?”

  “No…I never liked the idea of toys.”

  “I can her in your voice that there is something that you actually do…what is it?” Lara asked playfulness entering her voice.

  “Pillow,” Sonny mumbled.

  “You mean pillow between your legs and rubbing?”

  Sonny would’ve been beet red, if her skin was susceptible to blushing as she mumbled her response.

  “That’s so sweet and teen,” Lara chuckled. “I think you’re adorable, sweetie,” she smiled at Sonny, ensuring that she didn’t make Sonny uncomfortable, always sensitive and mindful about her tease threshold. “How often?”

  “Very often.”

  Lara beamed at Sonny and suddenly her breath caught at the sheer intimacy of the moment…the connectedness that she felt right then. What would’ve…could’ve…caused negative emotions when she froze mid-way had turned into something delicate and intimate. To them having a conversation about things she never imagined she would talk about to anyone. She was awash with emotion too big for words. She leaned in to kiss Sonny. It was a slow kiss to express everything she was feeling.

  It was crazy…she was crazy but she was certain she had never felt this strongly about anyone or anything. Words tickled the back of her mind wanting to form. Demanding to be verbalised. But she held them at bay. Not yet.

  ******

  “You’ll come for dinner?” Lara asked as she was leaving. She had a call with the French and Canadian teams to attend to and had to go back to take that.

  “I’ll be there in two hours,” Sonny assured her. “And I don’t know what to do with myself in those two hours,” she added plaintively, taking Lara into her arms.

  Lara wound her arms around Sonny’s shoulders, playing with her hair. “You’ll do whatever you did before we met,” she smiled.

  “Lara, I seriously cannot remember a time before you,” Sonny said intently.

  Lara felt every cell in her quiver at this declaration. She melted into Sonny with an impassioned kiss. “Come soon,” she whispered.

  ******

  “I hadn’t realised how much I enjoyed and missed Indian food,” Sonny said with satisfaction as she walked into the conservatory with Lara after a deeply satiating meal.

  “Yeah, we have the widest and most tasty range of vegetarian food…so it’s awesome for us vegetarians, right?” Lara agreed.

  “How did your call go?” Sonny asked settling into the sofa and Lara immediately tucked herself under Sonny’s arm on her side.

  “Went very well. They wanted to meet me day after tomorrow in Paris. That would mean I’d have to leave tomorrow, but we have plans for tomorrow so I postponed it by a day.”

  “I love that you prioritised our visit to Ithaca,” Sonny smiled, her expression telling way more than her words were. Sonny was unspeakably moved by Lara’s choice. “But we could’ve gone later.”

  “Sweetie, I had to make a fairly quick decision or I’d have spoken to you before making the plan.”

  “You would!?”

  “Of course I would. If something I’m doing affects you, you should be part of the decision,” Lara was surprised to hear her own words. This had never been her. She always made her decisions independently and everyone else just fell in line. But then there was really no one whose life had ever been intertwined with her in any appreciable way. Usually everyone else were beneficiaries. Sonny was and equal…a partner. A partner? Did I just think that?

  Sonny looked as stunned as Lara felt by her words. By her feelings towards their relationship. Clearly she hadn’t been expecting that.

  Lara was surprised by how easily s
he had slipped into thinking of Sonny as a part of her life, integral to her decisions. For someone who’d never had a relationship, it came surprisingly easy to her. Or was it just that she felt that Sonny had always been a part of her life? How could this transition have been so smooth for her? She’d never even thought of being in a relationship. Being with another person.

  But if Sonny’s surprise was any indication, she wasn’t there yet. Had Lara just said too much, too soon? Doubt gnawed Lara.